Group Big Book Study
A Resource for Group & Individual Study
A Resource for Group & Individual Study
[0a]2p How has the Foreword to the First Edition changed since it was first printed?
This is the Foreword as it appeared in the first printing of the first edition
[0b] In what year was the first printing of the first edition of ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS?
in 1939.
* The current edition of the AA Big Book may also be purchased directly from A.A.W.S. here.
* But A.A.W.S. encourages ordering of literature and other items via local groups, Intergroups and Central Offices—find a local group near you here.
[1a]3p Who speaks from these pages?
WE, OF Alcoholics Anonymous,
[1b] How many people in the fellowship contributed directly or indirectly to the First Edition?
are more than one hundred men and women
[1c] What made these people think they had anything to say about recovery?
who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
[2] What truly historic discovery did this group want to share?
To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.
[3a]2p What did the authors hope for this account of God’s power, the Steps, and their recovery?
For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing
[3b] What do they mean when they say the book is "self-authenticating"?
that no further authentication will be necessary.
[4a]2p Where did the authors get the information which they present in this book?
We think this account of our experiences
[4b] How do the authors believe this information will help others?
will help everyone to better understand the alcoholic.
[5] What do those who are still suffering and those around them all have in common?
Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person.
[6] Who else did the authors believe could benefit from the principles of this program?
And besides, we are sure that our way of living has its advantages for all.
[1] What did the authors say was the reason they chose not to reveal their names here?
It is important that we remain anonymous because we are too few, at present to handle the overwhelming number of personal appeals which may result from this publication.
[2a]2p How do the authors describe themselves?
Being mostly business or professional folk,
[2b] What did they think would happen if readers knew their names?
we could not well carry on our occupations in such an event.
[3] Did the authors think readers might expect to pay for the "treatment"1 they outline here?
We would like it understood that our alcoholic work is an avocation*.
* Webster’s 1937 "avocation": A subordinate occupation; a hobby; not one’s usual employment.
[1a]3p Did the authors urge us to never speak publicly?
When writing or speaking publicly about alcoholism,
[1b] What did the authors suggest we do if we speak or write publicly?
we urge each of our Fellowship to omit his personal name,
[1c] So, if we write or speak publicly, we should only use our First Name, Last Initial, right?
designating himself instead as "a member of Alcoholics Anonymous."
[1a]2p Who do we ask to refer to us only as members of the fellowship?
Very earnestly we ask the press also, to observe this request,
[1b] How might public clamor for help affect our actual ability to help?
for otherwise we shall be greatly handicapped.
[1] How do the first 100 describe the organization of our fellowship?
We are not an organization in the conventional sense of the word.
[2] Wouldn’t a conventional organization charge some kind of fee or dues?
There are no fees or dues whatsoever.
[3] What one thing is required of someone who wants to join a 12 Step fellowship?
The only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking.
[4a]2p What creeds or religious beliefs are required?
We are not allied with any particular faith, sect or denomination,
[4b] What causes or reform movements must new members agree to champion?
nor do we oppose anyone.
[5] What drives our constant thought of others2?
We simply wish to be helpful to those who are afflicted.
[1a]2p We wish not to be overwhelmed by personal appeals, but who do we want to hear from?
We shall be interested to hear from those who are getting results from this book,
[1b] Who do we especially hope to hear from?
particularly from those who have commenced work with other alcoholics.
[2] What do we hope to do for those who are working with others suffering the same condition?
We should like to be helpful to such cases.
[1] To whom else would we like to be helpful if we possibly can?
Inquiry by scientific, medical, and religious societies will be welcomed.ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.
[0] Where do the numbers in this Foreword come from?
Figures given in this foreword describe the Fellowship as it was in 1955.
[1] What do the authors say happened after the First Edition of the Big Book was published?
SINCE the original Foreword to this book was written in 1939, a wholesale miracle has taken place.
[2] What had the authors hoped the Fellowship would become when they wrote the First Edition1?
Our earliest printing voiced the hope "that every alcoholic who journeys will find the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination."
[3] What had already happened in 1939 when they published the First Edition?
Already," continues the early text "twos and threes and fives of us have sprung up in other communities."
[1] When this Foreword was written, how much time had passed since the First Edition?
Sixteen years have elapsed between our first printing of this book and the presentation in 1955 of our second edition.
[2a]2p How many groups were there when this new Second Edition was published?
In that brief space, Alcoholics Anonymous has mushroomed into nearly 6,000 groups
[2b] What was the lowest estimate of the number of members in the fellowship in 1955?
whose membership is far above 150,000 recovered alcoholics.
[3-6]+4 Where had new groups sprung up in these sixteen years?
Groups are to be found in each of the United States and all of the provinces of Canada.
A.A. has flourishing communities in the British Isles, the Scandinavian countries, South Africa, South America, Mexico, Alaska, Australia and Hawaii.
All told, promising beginnings have been made in some 50 foreign countries and U.S. possessions.
Some are just now taking shape in Asia.
[7] What did friends of the fellowship in medicine, religion, and the press tell these AA pioneers?
Many of our friends encourage us by saying that this is but a beginning, only the augury of a much larger future ahead.
[1a]2p What happened some four years before the First Edition was published in 1939?
The spark that was to flare into the first A.A. group was struck at Akron, Ohio, in June 1935,
[1b] What exactly was the little spark which later flared into the first group?
during a talk between a New York stockbroker and an Akron physician.
[2a]4p What had happened in the stockbroker’s life that led him to meet the physician?
Six months earlier, the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession
[2b] What was the essence of Bill’s amazing recovery from his hopeless state of mind and body?
by a sudden spiritual experience,
[2c] Where did Bill first hear the idea that "God could and would"2 relieve his hopeless condition?
following a meeting with an alcoholic friend
[2d] Where had this friend—Ebby—experienced his own spiritual awakening?
who had been in contact with the Oxford Groups of that day.
[3a]4p Who helped Bill see he had a real illness that was physical, mental, and also spiritual?
He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth,
[3b] Who was this physician, this Dr. William Silkworth?
a New York specialist in alcoholism
[3c] How do many Fellowships based on principles of the Big Book remember Dr. Silkworth?
who is now accounted no less than a medical saint by A.A. members,
[3d] Where can we learn more about Dr. Silkworth’s views on the nature of this illness?
and whose story of the early days of our Society appears in the next pages.
[4] What exactly did Bill learn from Dr. Silkworth about the illness he had?
From this doctor, the broker had learned the grave nature of alcoholism.
[5a]2p Where did Bill get the basics of the spiritual program of recovery he followed?
Though he could not accept all the tenets of the Oxford Groups,
[5b] What were the basics of the spiritual program of recovery Bill followed?
he was convinced of the need for moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.
[1a]3p Before he met Dr. Bob, what had Bill done which he believed kept him sober?
Prior to his journey to Akron, the broker had worked hard with many alcoholics
[1b] Bill believed that only a person who finds this solution, who regains their sanity, can do what3?
on the theory that only an alcoholic could help an alcoholic,
[1c] In what way had Bill succeeded though he might not have understood the miracle of it?
but he had succeeded only in keeping sober himself.
[2a]3p When he was five months sober, what self-interest took Bill from New York to Akron?
The broker had gone to Akron on a business venture
[2b] What happened to Bill’s high hopes of being rid of his financial insecurity?
which had collapsed,
[2c] What effect did the collapse of his best efforts (self-reliance4) have on Bill’s outlook?
leaving him greatly in fear that he might start drinking again.
[3] What suddenly came to Bill’s mind about resolutely5 turning his thoughts6 to help others?
He suddenly realized that in order to save himself he must carry his message to another alcoholic.
[4] After making numerous calls from the Akron Hotel lobby, who did Bill meet the next day?
That alcoholic turned out to be the Akron physician.
[1a]2p How much did Dr. Bob think he already knew about spiritual programs of recovery?
This physician had repeatedly tried spiritual means to resolve his alcoholic dilemma
[1b] What had always happened when Dr. Bob tried these spiritual approaches on his own?
but had failed.
[2a]2p Instead of arguing with Dr. Bob about spiritual details, what did Bill hammer home?
But when the broker gave him Dr. Silkworth’s description of alcoholism and its hopelessness,
[2b] What seems to have been the reason these previous approaches had not worked for Dr. Bob?
the physician began to pursue the spiritual remedy for his malady with a willingness he had never before been able to muster.
[3] What did this vital missing ingredient—willingness—finally lead Dr. Bob to discover?
He sobered, never to drink again up to the moment of his death in 1950.
[4] After Bill worked with him for a few weeks, what did Dr. Bob’s miraculous recovery prove?
This seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another as no nonalcoholic could.
[5] What did this work also prove to be for Bill, who had been near insanity again at the hotel?
It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery.
[1] Convinced they could maintain their own sanity AND help others, what did the two do?
Hence the two men set to work almost frantically upon alcoholics arriving in the ward of the Akron City Hospital.
[2] Thus with much enthusiasm, Bill and Bob began their venture and—Boom! what happened?
Their very first case, a desperate one, recovered immediately and became A.A. number three.
[3] What resulted for Bill D when he decided believe "God ought to be able to do anything"7?
He never had another drink.
[4] What then did these three recovered persons do to maintain "fit spiritual condition"8?
This work at Akron continued through the summer of 1935.
[5] Would they be as successful with others as they were with their first effort?
There were many failures, but there was an occasional heartening success.
[6] What had happened in Akron by the time Bill returned home to New York?
When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first A.A. group had actually been formed, though no one realized it at the time.
[1a]2p Having learned how to "carry his message", what did Bill accomplish back in New York?
A second small group promptly took shape at New York,
[1b] Clarence S, who recovered his sanity9 and learned to work with others in Akron, did what?
to be followed in 1937 with the start of a third at Cleveland.
[2] Still others who found "a new freedom and a new happiness"10 did what?
Besides these, there were scattered alcoholics who had picked up the basic ideas in Akron or New York who were trying to form groups in other cities.
[3] After only two years, what began to dawn upon these pioneers and what convinced them?
By late 1937, the number of members having substantial sobriety time behind them was sufficient to convince the membership that a new light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic.
[1] Convinced that a new light had entered the world, what did the early groups decide?
It was now time, the struggling groups thought, to place their message and unique experience before the world.
[2] Beginning in late 1937, what did these determined members produce by early 1939?
This determination bore fruit in the spring of 1939 by the publication of this volume.
[3] Approximately how many men and women seemed to be a part of this effort?
The membership had then reached about 100 men and women.
[4a]2p What did these 100 members in various groups decide to call their Fellowship?
The fledgling society, which had been nameless, now began to be called Alcoholics Anonymous,
[4b] Where did get this name?
from the title of its own book.
[5] The publication of this book marked the turning of what page in history?
The flying-blind period ended and A.A. entered a new phase of its pioneering time.
[1] Then what happened as this "new phase of its pioneering time" began?
With the appearance of the new book a great deal began to happen.
[2a]2p What famous Presbyterian pastor and writer reviewed the book?
Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick, the noted clergyman,
[2b] What did Dr. Fosdick convey about the book to his large audience of readers?
reviewed it with approval.
[3] What did the widely-read US magazine known as the "Weekly for Everybody" then publish?
In the fall of 1939 Fulton Oursler, then editor of Liberty, printed a piece in his magazine, called "Alcoholics and God."
[4a]2p As the news about a real program of recovery got out, what happened?
This brought a rush of 800 frantic inquiries
[4b] Just in time, what had the group in New York opened at 30 Vesey St., Manhattan?
into the little New York office which meanwhile had been established.
[5] And so, what did the small staff at 30 Vesey St do?
Each inquiry was painstakingly answered; pamphlets and books were sent out.
[6] What did they do with these "leads"—these desperate inquires—they found in these letters?
Businessmen, traveling out of existing groups, were referred to these prospective newcomers.
[7a]2p What followed when people in distant cities received books, letters, and personal visits?
New groups started up
[7b] What astounded everyone?
and it was found, to the astonishment of everyone, that A.A.’s message could be transmitted in the mail as well as by word of mouth.
[8] How many formerly hopeless types did New York estimate started recovery that year?
By the end of 1939 it was estimated that 800 alcoholics were on their way to recovery.
[1] To many members (mostly broke), what looked like the landing of the golden goose?
In the spring of 1940, John D. Rockefeller, Jr. gave a dinner for many of his friends to which he invited A.A. members to tell their stories.
[2] But instead of riches from donors, how did the dinner benefit the fledgling fellowship?
News of this got on the world wires; inquiries poured in again and many people went to the bookstores to get the book "Alcoholics Anonymous."
[3] So, in about 15-18 months, the membership went from 800 at the end of 193911 to what?
By March 1941 the membership had shot up to 2,000.
[4a]3p Who published what on March 1, 1941 which blew the lid off of their early growth?
Then Jack Alexander wrote a feature article in the Saturday Evening Post
[4b] What was the general image of the fellowship which Jack Alexander’s article presented?
and placed such a compelling picture of A.A. before the general public
[4c] When many who seemed hopeless or their families or friends read the article, what happened?
that alcoholics in need of help really deluged us.
[5] Over the next nine months, how many members were added to the fellowship?
By the close of 1941, A.A. numbered 8,000 members.
[6-7]+2 What at this point did the members of the fellowship begin to realize?
The mushrooming process was in full swing.
A.A. had become a national institution.
[1] What phase of the Fellowships’s seemingly incredible growth did it enter at this time?
Our Society then entered a fearsome and exciting adolescent period.
[2] What test did this "adolescent" fellowship face during this period?
The test that it faced was this: Could these large numbers of erstwhile* erratic alcoholics successfully meet and work together?
* Webster’s 1937 "erstwhile": Formerly; heretofore, at a time in the past.
[3] What were some things these formerly erratic types might fight over?
Would there be quarrels over membership, leadership, and money?
[4] Would egos trouble this 8,000 member society, 6,000 of whom had less than one year?
Would there be strivings for power and prestige?
[5] Would members be divided by politics, religious affiliations, or issues like alcohol reform?
Would there be schisms which would split A.A. apart?
[6] Whew! It’s a good thing none of these things happened…right?
Soon A.A. was beset by these very problems on every side and in every group.
[7] What did the adolescent fellowship soon realize that helped it overcome the turmoil?
But out of this frightening and at first disrupting experience the conviction grew that A.A.’s had to hang together or die separately.
[8] What became the highest priority of the young fellowship at that point?
We had to unify our Fellowship or pass off the scene.
[1a]2p What historic principles did the "First 100" develop which we know as the AA 12 Steps?
As we discovered the principles by which the individual alcoholic could live,
[1b] What historic principles did the 8000 develop which we know as the AA 12 Traditions?
so we had to evolve principles by which the A.A. groups and A.A. as a whole could survive and function effectively.
[2a]4p In the Third Tradition, what became the basis for membership in the fellowship?
It was thought that no alcoholic man or woman could be excluded from our Society;
[2b] In the Second Tradition, what emphasizes the supremacy of the group conscience?
that our leaders might serve but never govern;
[2c] In the Fourth Tradition, what establishes and reaffirms the principle of group self-governance?
that each group was to be autonomous
[2d] What does the Eighth Tradition make sure never arises in the fellowship?
and there was to be no professional class of therapy.
[3] What two principles are implied and established in the Seventh Tradition?
There were to be no fees or dues; our expenses were to be met by our own voluntary contributions.
[4] What attitude and principle did the Ninth Tradition seek to establish for Groups?
There was to be the least possible organization, even in our service centers.
[5] What guidelines does the Eleventh Tradition establish for groups trying to reach the public?
Our public relations were to be based upon attraction rather than promotion.
[6] What prudent practices does the Eleventh Tradition urge for groups AND individuals?
It was decided that all members ought to be anonymous at the level of press, radio, TV and films.
[7] What boundary did Tradition Ten set for member or group involvement in public issues?
And in no circumstances should we give endorsements, make alliances, or enter public controversies.
[1] The set of principles presented in the previous paragraph is known today as what?
This was the substance of A.A.’s Twelve Traditions, which are stated in full on page 561 of this book.
[2a]2p None of these principles were handed down to the fellowship as what?
Though none of these principles had the force of rules or laws,
[2b] Groups found the practice of these principles to be so useful they did what in 1950?
they had become so widely accepted by 1950 that they were confirmed by our first International Conference held at Cleveland.
[3] What effect has voluntary adherence to these principles had on the fledgling Fellowship?
Today the remarkable unity of A.A. is one of the greatest assets that our Society has.
[1a]2p What specific problems did these Traditions help the young Fellowship address?
While the internal difficulties of our adolescent period were being ironed out,
[1b] How did the public respond to the growing Fellowship as these difficulties were faced?
public acceptance of A.A. grew by leaps and bounds.
[2a]3p What did the authors think were the principle reasons for the public’s favorable opinion?
For this there were two principal reasons:
[2b] What was the obvious first reason?
the large numbers of recoveries,
[2c] What was the less obvious but equally important second reason?
and reunited homes.
[3] Reunited homes and remarkable recoveries of seemingly hopeless men and women did what?
These made their impressions everywhere.
[4a]3p Of those who really tried, what percent do the authors think got sober and stayed sober?
Of alcoholics who came to A.A. and really tried, 50% got sober at once and remained that way;
[4b] What percent did the authors estimate got sober after some trials and errors?
25% sobered up after some relapses,
[4c] What happened to those who couldn’t or wouldn’t adopt the program12, but kept coming back?
and among the remainder, those who stayed on with A.A. showed improvement.
[5] What happened to many who weren’t yet ready to "really try" the spiritual solution?
Other thousands came to a few A.A. meetings and at first decided they didn’t want the program.
[6] What did many of those who weren’t at first really ready do later on?
But great numbers of these—about two out of three—began to return as time passed.
[1a]3p What was another important reason for the fellowship’s growth?
Another reason for the wide acceptance of A.A. was the ministration of friends—
[1b] Who did the authors consider to be the friends of the fellowship?
friends in medicine, religion, and the press,
[1c] Did the fellowship also have friends in business, education, and many other fields?
together with innumerable others who became our able and persistent advocates.
[2] How important were such friends to the fellowship’s phenomenal early growth?
Without such support, A.A. could have made only the slowest progress.
[3] What can we look for as we proceed through the rest of the book?
Some of the recommendations of A.A.’s early medical and religious friends will be found further on in this book.
[1] While the program is a spiritual program, it is not what?
Alcoholics Anonymous is not a religious organization.
[2a]2p The fellowship avoids13 issues such as politics, reform, sectarian religion and what else?
Neither does A.A. take any particular medical point of view,
[2b] Though the fellowship doesn’t take sides in outside issues, what does it happily do?
though we cooperate widely with the men of medicine as well as with the men of religion.
[1a]3p Does this illness afflict any economic, religious, sex, or ethnic origin more than others?
Alcohol being no respecter of persons,
[1b] What did the authors believe about the membership of the fellowship?
we are an accurate cross section of America,
[1c] What is happening as the fellowship spreads through every country and continent on earth?
and in distant lands, the same democratic evening-up process is now going on.
[2] In 1955, what religious backgrounds were represented in the fellowship membership?
By personal religious affiliation, we include Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Hindus, and a sprinkling of Moslems and Buddhists.
[3] At the time of writing, what percent of the fellowship did the authors estimate were women?
More than 15% of us are women.
[1] What did the authors estimate was the fellowship’s rate of growth as of this writing in 1955?
At present, our membership is pyramiding at the rate of about twenty per cent a year.
[2a]2p What problem did the fellowship think was its primary purpose to address?
So far, upon the total problem of several million actual and potential alcoholics in the world,
[2b] With 150,000 members in 195514, how much progress did the fellowship think it had made?
we have made only a scratch.
[3] What did they think of their chances to solve the problem worldwide?
In all probability, we shall never be able to touch more than a fair fraction of the alcohol problem in all its ramifications.
[4] Were the early members of the fellowship so cocky as to think they had the only solution?
Upon therapy for the alcoholic himself, we surely have no monopoly.
[5a]3p What was the authors’ "great hope" as they wrote this Foreword to the Second Edition?
Yet it is our great hope that all those who have as yet found no answer may begin to find one
[5b] Where did the authors think at least one answer to the age old problem could be found?
in the pages of this book
[5c] What do we hope those who find an answer in this book will do?
and will presently join us on the high road to a new freedom.
[1] What might readers want to know before taking up the spiritual plan of recovery in this book?
WE OF Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the reader will be interested in the medical estimate of the plan of recovery described in this book.
[2a]3p Who do the authors think can make a persuasive assessment of this plan’s effectiveness?
Convincing testimony must surely come from medical men who have had experience
[2b] Whose utter hopelessness have such physicians seen which qualifies their assessment?
with the sufferings of our members
[2c] What really convinces these physicians of the program’s effectiveness?
and have witnessed our return to health.
[3a]2p What credentials should convince us one particular Doctor’s Opinion is credible?
A well-known doctor, chief physician at a nationally prominent hospital specializing in alcoholic and drug addiction,
[3b] What did this doctor give the fellowship which recommends the spiritual solution offered in this book?
gave Alcoholics Anonymous this letter:
[1] What was the specialty of Dr. William Silkworth, who graduated from Princeton University in 1896 and also from Bellevue Medical School in New York in 1899 as a neuro-psychiatrist?
To Whom It May Concern: I have specialized in the treatment of alcoholism for many years.
[1a]2p When did Dr. Silkworth first examine his patient Bill Wilson?
In late 1934 I attended a patient who, though he had been a competent businessman of good earning capacity,
[1b] Bill was what type of patient and what did the doctor think of his chances for recovery?
was an alcoholic of a type I had come to regard as hopeless.
[1] After many years, what did this fellow suddenly embrace that impressed Dr. Silkworth1?
In the course of his third treatment he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery.
[2] What part of Bill’s abruptly acquired recovery program stood out to Dr. Silkworth?
As part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others.
[3] What did his practice of sharing experience, strength, and hope with other sufferers become?
This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families.
[4] Having treated many seemingly hopeless individuals, what really astonished Dr. Silkworth?
This man and over one hundred others appear to have recovered.
[1] Had Dr. Silkworth’s own best methods failed with some of these people?
I personally know scores of cases who were of the type with whom other methods had failed completely.
[1a]3p Of what value was the fact of their taking a spiritual approach to their recovery: that after medical methods had failed these people recovered on a spiritual basis?
These facts appear to be of extreme medical importance;
[1b] As someone who deeply cared about recovery of his patients, what excited Dr. Silkworth?
because of the extraordinary possibilities of rapid growth inherent in this group
[1c] After many treatment failures, what did Dr. Silkworth think he had found?
they may mark a new epoch in the annals of alcoholism.
[2] Why was Dr. Silkworth virtually, excitedly jumping up and down about this?
These men may well have a remedy for thousands of such situations.
[1] How much confidence had Dr. Silkworth come to have in these men and their program?
You may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves.
Very truly yours, William D. Silkworth, M.D.1
Very truly yours,
William D. Silkworth, M.D.2
[1] What did the authors ask Dr. Silkworth to do after seeing the glowing letter printed above?
The physician who, at our request, gave us this letter, has been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows.
[2] What did Dr. Silkworth confirm for the authors which they previously had only suspected?
In this statement he confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe—that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind.
[3] What had they been told by people who believed addiction2,3 was mainly a lack of resolve4?
It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we were maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality, or were outright mental defectives.
[4] How much truth was there in such assessments?
These things were true to some extent, in fact, to a considerable extent with some of us.
[5] What do most recovered persons believe about the physical elements of addiction?
But we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well.
[6] Treatment theories which seek to improve will power to control physical dependency are what?
In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete.
[1] How does the notion affect us that our malady is rooted in mental and physical infirmity?
The doctor’s theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us.
[2] What is the value of our personal, anecdotal considerations of this notion?
As laymen, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean little.
[3] But, as people once stuck in hopeless dependency, how do we see it?
But as ex-problem drinkers, we can say that his explanation makes good sense.
[4] What insight does this view give us—that our bodies are as sick as our minds?
It explains many things for which we cannot otherwise account.
[1a]2p How do we escape from a cycle of dependency beyond our human5 control?
Though we work out our solution on the spiritual as well as an altruistic plane,
[1b] What can be done to help someone recover who is suffering physical cravings?
we favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who is very jittery or befogged.
[2] Why is it important to clear a person’s body of such cravings before outlining6 the program?
More often than not, it is imperative that a man’s brain be cleared before he is approached, as he has then a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer.
[1] What does Dr. Silkworth think of the "main object of this book"7,, i.e., finding a Higher Power8?
The doctor writes:
The subject presented in this book seems to me to be of paramount importance to those afflicted with alcoholic addiction.
[1] Why does the doctor’s thoughts on the subject have so much credibility?
I say this after many years’ experience as Medical Director of one of the oldest hospitals in the country treating alcoholic and drug addiction.
[1a]2p How happy is the doctor to comment on the spiritual program described in these pages?
There was, therefore, a sense of real satisfaction when I was asked to contribute a few words on a subject
[1b] How does Dr. Silkworth describe the authors’ presentation of the spiritual solution?
which is covered in such masterly detail in these pages.
[1a]2p What do most doctors seem to believe is needed to overcome the baffling obsession9?
We doctors have realized for a long time that some form of moral psychology was of urgent importance to alcoholics,
[1b]2p How difficult is it to empower someone to adopt and live up to10 new moral ideals?
but its application presented difficulties beyond our conception.
[2] How well do scientific methods work to help people find a Power greater than their own?
What with our ultra-modern standards, our scientific approach to everything, we are perhaps not well equipped to apply the powers of good that lie outside our synthetic knowledge.
[1a]2p Where was Bill when he had a vision11 of helping others as he had been helped?
Many years ago one of the leading contributors to this book came under our care in this hospital
[1b] What did Bill do with the idea which came to him there?
and while here he acquired some ideas which he put into practical application at once.
[1a]2p What did this three-time rehab12 survivor13 ask the hospital to let him do?
Later, he requested the privilege of being allowed to tell his story to other patients here
[1b] What did the ultra-modern, scientific physicians of Townes Hospital say to his request?
and with some misgiving, we consented.
[2] Observing Bill’s work from their scientific point of view, how did these physicians react?
The cases we have followed through have been most interesting; in fact, many of them are amazing.
[3] Carefully tracking their progress, what did Dr. Silkworth conclude about these recoveries?
The unselfishness of these men as we have come to know them, the entire absence of profit motive, and their community spirit, is indeed inspiring to one who has labored long and wearily in this alcoholic field.
[4a]2p What did the subject-matter of this book do to restore self-confidence14 to those who were hopeless?
They believe in themselves,
[4b] With Whom do the Steps help the hopeless to develop15 a powerful new relationship?
and still more in the Power which pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death.
[1] Why must a person’s body be clear before step-work can begin?
Of course an alcoholic ought to be freed from his physical craving for liquor, and this often requires a definite hospital procedure, before psychological measures can be of maximum benefit.
[1a]2p What did the doctor believe underlies the physical craving of chronic dependency?
We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy;
[1b] What did the doctor believe caused habitual dependency?
that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker.
[2a]4p Since the doctor believes the problem is physical, what did he believe was the solution?
These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all;
[2b] What is the "peculiar mental twist"16 which leads a person to ignore the abstinence remedy?
and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it,
[2c] What happens to people who discover no human power17 can relieve this insane mental twist?
once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human,
[2d] When nothing works to free them from this unbreakable insanity, what happens?
their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.
[1] What rarely helps people quit destructive habitual behavior?
Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices.
[2] What sort of message makes sense to someone who fears they are beyond human aid18?
The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight.
[3a]2p What message19,20,21 has enough depth and weight to hold these people?
In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves,
[3b] The doctor believes people can do what when their thinking is grounded in such a power?
if they are to re-create their lives.
[1a]3p What might a skeptic think of the doctor’s endorsement of a spiritual solution?
If any feel that as psychiatrists directing a hospital for alcoholics we appear somewhat sentimental,
[1b] But even skeptics might endorse a spiritual solution when they see what firsthand?
let them stand with us a while on the firing line, see the tragedies, the despairing wives, the little children; let the solving of these problems become a part of their daily work, and even of their sleeping moments,
[1c] Seeing the most hopeless cases recover on a spiritual basis would do what for a skeptic?
and the most cynical will not wonder that we have accepted and encouraged this movement.
[2] What was "The Doctor’s Opinion" of the fellowship's Twelve Step Program?
We feel, after many years of experience, that we have found nothing which has contributed more to the rehabilitation of these men than the altruistic movement now growing up among them.
[1] Why do people choose a path that often leads to the quicksand of dependency?
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.
[2a]3p What exactly is the effect which motivates people to take this risk?
The sensation is so elusive
[2b] What are people forced to admit after they suffer a few unwelcome consequences?
that, while they admit it is injurious,
[2c] What changes in their thinking which leads them to believe their injuries aren’t all that bad?
they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false.
[3] Trouble with jobs and relationships as well as fear, resentment and self-pity seem to be what?
To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one.
[4a]3p What hijacks their hearts and minds when the elusive sensation wears off?
They are restless, irritable and discontented,
[4b] When they are gripped in this manner, what drives every waking moment?
unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—
[4c] Why do they believe their problem cannot be a thing which makes them feel good?
drinks which they see others taking with impunity.
[5a]5p People desperate for relief from restlessness, irritability, and discontent do what?
After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do,
[5b] What does the doctor think kicks in after they decide to again try the desperate experiment22?
and the phenomenon of craving develops,
[5c] Where does the elusive desire—which grabs them before their first sip—take them?
they pass through the well-known stages of a spree,
[5d] When they come to their senses—sick, fearful, lost, even locked up—what happens?
emerging remorseful
[5e] What is the first thing they decide after the spree runs its course?
with a firm resolution not to drink again.
[6a]2p How well are they able to stick to the firm resolution they just made?
This is repeated over and over,
[6b] What is their only hope?
and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
[1a]2p But once a person’s "whole attitude and outlook on life"23 changes, what happens?
On the other hand—and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand—once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol,
[1b] Once a person is willing to take directions, how much effort is needed to stay sober?
the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
[1] Men stuck in quicksand, sinking further every day24, plead with the doctor for what?
Men have cried out to me in sincere and despairing appeal: "Doctor, I cannot go on like this! I have everything to live for! I must stop, but I cannot! You must help me!"
[1] What do doctors often feel when confronted with such desperate hopelessness?
Faced with this problem, if a doctor is honest with himself, he must sometimes feel his own inadequacy.
[2] What does a doctor conclude after trying every known medical remedy?
Although he gives all that is in him, it often is not enough.
[3] When ultra-modern standards and scientific methods25 fail, what does the doctor conclude?
One feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change.
[4a]2p How successful are medical and psychological treatment programs for this malady?
Though the aggregate of recoveries resulting from psychiatric effort is considerable,
[4b] What do doctors say about the multitudes of cases that do not respond to their methods?
we physicians must admit we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole.
[5] Per the doctor, how many types of sufferers don’t respond to cognitive/emotional treatments?
Many types do not respond to the ordinary psychological approach.
[1] Why, in the doctor’s view, do these hopeless types not respond to psychological approaches?
I do not hold with those who believe that alcoholism is entirely a problem of mental control.
[2-3]+2 Does the doctor miss the real question here which is: "What insanity led them to take the first drink"26?
I have had many men who had, for example, worked a period of months on some problem or business deal which was to be settled on a certain date, favorably to them.
They took a drink a day or so prior to the date, and then the phenomenon of craving at once became paramount to all other interests so that the important appointment was not met.
[4a]2p Did they lose control because they were emotionally disturbed…maladjusted to life?
These men were not drinking to escape;
[4b] Hadn’t they already shoved aside all important concerns before this happened?
they were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control.
[1] What might a person do when he realizes he has lost control of his own thinking?
There are many situations which arise out of the phenomenon of craving which cause men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight.
[1] How difficult is it for psychiatrists to classify people who are stuck in hopeless dependency?
The classification of alcoholics seems most difficult, and in much detail is outside the scope of this book.
[2-3]+2 How do doctors classify hopeless dependents who also have severe emotional problems?
There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable.
We are all familiar with this type.
[4] Do these men seem to think making "firm resolutions"27 will give them power to stay sober?
They are always "going on the wagon for keeps."
[5a]2p Do they seem to be ever motivated by pasts wrongs or failures?
They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions,
[5b]2p Though they make many declarations, they seem never to actually do what?
but never a decision.
[1] Are there also people who never even make declarations about quitting?
There is the type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink.
[2-3]+2 This fellow does what to prove he can do what he sees others28 doing?
He plans various ways of drinking.
He changes his brand or his environment.
[4] How do some convince themselves—over and over again—they don’t have a problem?
There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger.
[5] What type of person totally baffles their friends and family?
There is the manic-depressive type, who is, perhaps, the least understood by his friends, and about whom a whole chapter could be written.
[1] What might account for the "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" personality change in some people?
Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them.
[2] Are these the "normal types" who seem not to be driven by selfishness and self-seeking?
They are often able, intelligent, friendly people.
[1] Where does the doctor seem to think the problem occurs—before the first drink or after?
All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving.
[2a]2p Since the doctor thinks the craving is a physical reaction, to what does he compare it?
This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy
[2b] Do different people seem to exhibit different symptoms of different allergies?
which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity.
[3] Has science yet found a way to eliminate such varied symptoms by eliminating the allergy?
It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated.
[4] What does he suggest should be an effective way to end addictive behavior, but knows it isn’t?
The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.
* Note to study leader: include the next short paragraph here.
[1] How does abstinence help those who lack the power to resist the allergic reaction?
This immediately precipitates us into a seething caldron of debate.
[2] What hope do they have who irresistibly crave the sensation of something before they take it?
Much has been written pro and con, but among physicians, the general opinion seems to be that most chronic alcoholics are doomed.
[1-2]+2 How does the doctor show willingness to recommend solutions beyond human power?
What is the solution?
Perhaps I can best answer this by relating one of my experiences.
[1] How does the doctor prescribe a solution which lies beyond his professional ability?
About one year prior to this experience a man was brought in to be treated for chronic alcoholism.
[2] What were this fellow’s physical and psychological symptoms?
He had but partially recovered from a gastric hemorrhage and seemed to be a case of pathological mental deterioration.
[3] What were his "spiritual" symptoms—i.e., symptoms which make life itself not worth living?
He had lost everything worthwhile in life and was only living, one might say, to drink.
[4] Did the fellow have any confidence29 that he or anyone else could solve his problem?
He frankly admitted and believed that for him there was no hope.
[5] Did the fellow have any permanent physical ailment?
Following the elimination of alcohol, there was found to be no permanent brain injury.
[6] What did the fellow do when offered a recovery program based on a spiritual plan of action?
He accepted the plan outlined in this book.
[7-8]+2 What results did Dr. Silkworth observe after only twelve months?
One year later he called to see me, and I experienced a very strange sensation.
I knew the man by name, and partly recognized his features, but there all resemblance ended.
[9] What had happened to the fellow’s "whole attitude and outlook on life"30?
From a trembling, despairing, nervous wreck, had emerged a man brimming over with self-reliance and contentment.
[10-11]+2 Just how dramatic was the remarkable change Dr. Silkworth saw in this fellow?
I talked with him for some time, but was not able to bring myself to feel that I had known him before.
To me he was a stranger, and so he left me.
[12] How did the doctor just recommend the spiritual solution he himself could not provide?
A long time has passed with no return to alcohol.
[1] What’s another case the doctor uses indirectly to recommend the spiritual solution?
When I need a mental uplift, I often think of another case brought in by a physician prominent in New York.
[2-4]+3 What similarities appear between this and Dr. Silkworth’s first remarkable example?
The patient had made his own diagnosis, and deciding his situation hopeless, had hidden in a deserted barn determined to die.
He was rescued by a searching party, and, in desperate condition, brought to me.
Following his physical rehabilitation, he had a talk with me in which he frankly stated he thought the treatment a waste of effort, unless I could assure him, which no one ever had, that in the future he would have the "will power" to resist the impulse to drink.
[1] How hopeful was Dr. Silkworth the medical and psychological treatments he could offer this wretched fellow would be of any help to him?
His alcoholic problem was so complex, and his depression so great, that we felt his only hope would be through what we then called "moral psychology," and we doubted if even that would have any effect.
[1] What did the fellow do when shown this book’s plan of recovery based on spiritual principles?
However, he did become "sold" on the ideas contained in this book.
[2] What results did Dr. Silkworth observe after following the fellow’s case for many years?
He has not had a drink for a great many years.
[3] What happened to the hopeless depressive who wanted to kill himself in a barn?
I see him now and then and he is as fine a specimen of manhood as one could wish to meet.
[1a]2p What does the doctor prescribe for any sufferer no matter what their current condition?
I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through,
[1b-2]+2 Hopeless types of all symptoms, skeptical of a spiritual program, might do what?
and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray.
William D. Silkworth, M.D.
[1a]3p What was happening in 1917 when Bill W was sent to New Bedford, Massachusetts?
WAR FEVER ran high in the New England town
[1b] What led Bill to go there after completing artillery officer’s training in New York state?
to which we new, young officers from Plattsburg were assigned,
[1c] How did Bill feel about this special treatment he and other new military officers received?
and we were flattered when the first citizens took us to their homes, making us feel heroic.
[2] Why was life so good at this time for the lanky, shy, young man from East Dorset, VT?
Here was love, applause, war; moments sublime with intervals hilarious.
[3] What did Bill discover which he thought made life even better?
I was part of life at last, and in the midst of the excitement I discovered liquor.
[4] What advice did Bill forget from his family about his father and grandfather’s drink problem?
I forgot the strong warnings and the prejudices of my people concerning drink.
[5] After unit artillery training in New Bedford, where was his regiment ordered to go?
In time we sailed for "Over There."
[6a]2p How did Bill feel about going to Europe not long after he married Lois in Jan, 1918?
I was very lonely
[6b] Having learned what would make happy times happier, to what did he turn in lonely times?
and again turned to alcohol.
[1] Where was Bill’s artillery regiment unit initially deployed?
We landed in England.
[2] What famous Gothic structure in Hampshire County, England did Bill visit one day?
I visited Winchester Cathedral.
[3a]2p What happened to Bill inside the magnificent old cathedral?
Much moved,
[3b] After what he later1 believed was a spiritual experience2 inside the church, what did Bill do?
I wandered outside.
[4] As he strolled the churchyard, Bill saw a tombstone inscribed to "Thomas Thetcher(sic)", a fellow whose last name was similar to his friend Ebby Thatcher—then what happened?
My attention was caught by a doggerel on an old tombstone:
"Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier
Who caught his death
Drinking cold small beer.
A good soldier is ne’er forgot
Whether he dieth by musket
Or by pot."
[1] How did Bill react to these old verses about a man who apparently died of drinking too much?
Ominous warning—which I failed to heed.
[1] How old was Bill when he mustered out of the service and then where did he go?
Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last.
[2a]2p As he looked back, what was Bill’s extravagant opinion of himself.
I fancied myself a leader,
[2b] How did he convince himself his opinion about himself just had to be true?
for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation?
[3a]2p What gift did Bill believe he possessed which later proved to be genuine?
My talent for leadership,
[3b] But at the time, was he thinking only how he might use his talent to benefit himself?
I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance.
[1-2]+2 Does Bill tell us here he was already "driven by a hundred forms of…self-seeking"3?
I took a night law course, and obtained employment as investigator for a surety company.
The drive for success was on.
[3] How did Bill show he was simply like "Most people [who] try to live by self-propulsion"4?
I’d prove to the world I was important.
[4-6]+3 What led Bill to want to embroil himself in Wall Street?
My work took me about Wall Street and little by little I became interested in the market.
Many people lost money—but some became very rich.
Why not I?
[7] What did he study which he believed would propel him toward "success"?
I studied economics and business as well as law.
[8-9]+2 But, what threatened derailment of his self-propelled plans from the very start?
Potential alcoholic that I was, I nearly failed my law course.
At one of the finals I was too drunk to think or write.
[10] Who was the first person to express concern about Bill’s selfishness and self-seeking?
Though my drinking was not yet continuous, it disturbed my wife.
[11] What total load of rubbish did Bill push on Lois to keep her off his back?
We had long talks when I would still her forebodings by telling her that men of genius conceived their best projects when drunk; that the most majestic constructions of philosophic thought were so derived.
[1-2]+2 Since Bill couldn’t do as he pleased AND do well on law exams what did he conclude?
By the time I had completed the course, I knew the law was not for me.
The inviting maelstrom of Wall Street had me in its grip.
[3] Did Bill, like most of us, "variously worship people, … things, money, and ourselves"5?
Business and financial leaders were my heroes.
[4] Did Bill make more "decisions based on self which … placed [him] in positions to be hurt"6?
Out of this alloy of drink and speculation, I commenced to forge the weapon that one day would turn in its flight like a boomerang and all but cut me to ribbons.
[5-6]+2 Was Bill’s self-discipline and willingness to take risks a genuine strength?
Living modestly, my wife and I saved $1,000.
It went into certain securities, then cheap and rather unpopular.
[7] Did he have an instinctive understanding of markets which made him a good stock analyst?
I rightly imagined that they would some day have a great rise.
[8a]2p Some suggest Bill was just a great salesman, a great promoter—was he?
I failed to persuade my broker friends to send me out looking over factories and managements,
[8b] On the other hand, was he a determined investigator set on getting the facts about things?
but my wife and I decided to go anyway.
[9] Did Bill have an intuitive understanding of how things work and why things happened?
I had developed a theory that most people lost money in stocks through ignorance of markets.
[10] Later, was Bill surprised to learn he wasn’t as smart as he thought at first?
I discovered many more reasons later on.
[1] In April, 1925, what did Bill and Lois do to try to prove his theory about stocks?
We gave up our positions and off we roared on a motorcycle, the sidecar stuffed with tent, blankets, a change of clothes, and three huge volumes of a financial reference service.
[2-3]+2 What did friends think of their idea to ride off on a motorcycle to investigate businesses?
Our friends thought a lunacy commission should be appointed.
Perhaps they were right.
[4a]2p But, did Bill’s ability to correctly analyze stocks help pay for the trip?
I had had some success at speculation, so we had a little money,
[4b] As far as their trip was concerned, what was just as valuable as his astute stock analysis?
but we once worked on a farm for a month to avoid drawing on our small capital.
[5] How does Bill remember that one month of work on the farm?
That was the last honest manual labor on my part for many a day.
[6] Where did Bill and Lois go to visit companies and gather information?
We covered the whole eastern United States in a year.
[7] What was their reward for the knowledge they gained and the hardships they endured?
At the end of it, my reports to Wall Street procured me a position there and the use of a large expense account.
[8] Did Bill seem to be getting closer to his goal of becoming rich in the stock market?
The exercise of an option brought in more money, leaving us with a profit of several thousand dollars for that year.
Note: if "several" is > 2, at an avg 2.97% $3,000+ in 1925 was roughly equal to $47,000+ in 2021.
[1-2]+2 How well did Bill’s plans work to analyze stocks and get rich in the stock market?
For the next few years fortune threw money and applause my way.
I had arrived.
[3] Did Bill’s insights into various stocks seem to be helpful to other investors?
My judgment and ideas were followed by many to the tune of paper millions.
[4-8]+5 Had Bill again found "love, applause, moments subline with intervals hilarious"7?
The great boom of the late twenties was seething and swelling.
Drink was taking an important and exhilarating part in my life.
There was loud talk in the jazz places uptown.
Everyone spent in thousands and chattered in millions.
Scoffers could scoff and be damned.
[9] As Bill’s life revolved around money, fame, and booze, what kind of friends was he making?
I made a host of fair-weather friends.
[1] While Bill’s fame and fortune progressed, to what extent did his selfish drinking progress?
My drinking assumed more serious proportions, continuing all day and almost every night.
[2] What did Bill do when his fair weather friends told him he was too full of himself?
The remonstrances of my friends terminated in a row and I became a lone wolf.
[3] Was Lois even more disturbed by Bill’s self-centeredness than when he studied law8?
There were many unhappy scenes in our sumptuous apartment.
[4] Feeling sorry for himself, was Bill sometimes tempted by "something besides liquor"9?
There had been no real infidelity, for loyalty to my wife, helped at times by extreme drunkenness, kept me out of those scrapes.
[1-2]+2 What did Bill do as the stock markets churned toward a great disaster?
In 1929 I contracted golf fever.
We went at once to the country, my wife to applaud while I started out to overtake Walter Hagen.
[3] As Bill’s ambition for fame and fortune progressed, what also continued to progress?
Liquor caught up with me much faster than I came up behind Walter.
[4] What physical symptoms of selfish alcohol consumption did Bill began to experience?
I began to be jittery in the morning.
[5] What might have been Bill’s unadmitted reason for wanting to be a pro golfer?
Golf permitted drinking every day and every night.
[6] How much was Bill thinking about anyone but himself?
It was fun to carom around the exclusive course which had inspired such awe in me as a lad.
[7-8]+2 What signs showed that Bill was almost completely consumed with his own ego?
I acquired the impeccable coat of tan one sees upon the well-to-do.
The local banker watched me whirl fat checks in and out of his till with amused skepticism.
[1-6]+6 Later that year, what happened to Bill’s plans for getting richer in the stock market?
Abruptly in October 1929 hell broke loose on the New York stock exchange.
After one of those days of inferno, I wobbled from a hotel bar to a brokerage office.
It was eight o’clock—five hours after the market closed.
The ticker still clattered.
I was staring at an inch of the tape which bore the inscription XYZ-32.
It had been 52 that morning.
[7] What did Bill realize about 8pm Tuesday, October 29, 1929, the day the markets crashed?
I was finished and so were many friends.
[8] Besides being the day of the Crash, why else was the day known as "Black Tuesday"?
The papers reported men jumping to death from the towers of High Finance.
[9-10]+2 How did Bill feel about those who jumped for failed ambitions and financial ruin?
That disgusted me.
I would not jump.
[11] What seemed to Bill to be a much better way to deal with that day’s worldwide disaster?
I went back to the bar.
[12-14]+3 How did our "man of genius" react to this minor setback of total economic collapse?
My friends had dropped several million since ten o’clock—so what?
Tomorrow was another day.
As I drank, the old fierce determination to win came back.
[1-2]+2 After brainstorming thru the night, fortified by grandiose thinking, what was Bill’s plan?
Next morning I telephoned a friend in Montreal.
He had plenty of money left and thought I had better go to Canada.
[3] Did the new plan work?
By the following spring we were living in our accustomed style.
[4-5]+2 How did Bill feel about "winning" again in the midst of world-wide financial crisis?
I felt like Napoleon returning from Elba.
No St. Helena for me!
Note: Napoleon, then emperor of most of Europe, was defeated in 1814 as he attempted to conquer Russia. He was exiled to the island of Elba. After 10 months in Elba, he escaped back to France and regained power for a period known as "the Hundred Days". He was defeated at the Battle of Waterloo and was banished this time to the island of St. Helena in the S. Atlantic where he died in 1821.
[6-5]+2 What led Bill to suspect he might not be a great genius after all?
But drinking caught up with me again and my generous friend had to let me go.
This time we stayed broke.
[1] After all his efforts to become rich in stocks, what was Bill’s next new plan?
We went to live with my wife’s parents.
[2a]2p What did Bill do in 1930 near the time Dr. Silkworth became Medical Director at Townes?
I found a job;
[2b] What happened to the job maybe because of smoldering resentment which Bill now carried?
then lost it as the result of a brawl with a taxi driver.
[3a]2p Did anyone tell Bill–did he himself guess–maybe selfishness made him unemployable?
Mercifully, no one could guess that I was to have no real employment for five years,
[3b] But since he didn’t see himself as his major problem, what did he continue to do?
or hardly draw a sober breath.
[4a]2p Who began to wear the family trousers10 and pay the bills?
My wife began to work in a department store,
[4b] What did Lois routinely discover Bill had done all day while she worked?
coming home exhausted to find me drunk.
[5] What shows Bill’s self-seeking now seriously impaired his real ability to analyze stocks?
I became an unwelcome hanger-on at brokerage places.
[1a]2p How might Bill have realized he had become a "shivering denizen of a mad realm"11?
Liquor ceased to be a luxury;
[1b] When "the chilling vapor [of] loneliness settled down"12, what had liquor become for Bill?
it became a necessity.
[2a]2p What is made by steeping grain alcohol in water and juniper berries in a large glass jar?
" Bathtub" gin,
[2b] How much of this poor quality alcohol which often caused blindness was Bill drinking?
two bottles a day, and often three, got to be routine.
[3] How would Bill pay the various proprietors who fed him and gave him drinks on credit?
Sometimes a small deal would net a few hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars and delicatessens.
[4] What effect did this regular intake of rotgut gin have on his daily routine and health?
This went on endlessly, and I began to waken very early in the morning shaking violently.
[5] With the rotgut causing much stomach trouble, what did Bill have to do each day to eat?
A tumbler full of gin followed by half a dozen bottles of beer would be required if I were to eat any breakfast.
[6a]2p What delusion defines a "Type One"13 sufferer as described in the chapter "To Wives"?
Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation,
[6b] What is another symptom of someone in the "Type One"14 category?
and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wife’s hope.
[1] Bill thought he could "control the situation" but what happened slowly but surely?
Gradually things got worse.
[2a]2p Because he couldn’t work (or wouldn’t), what trouble of his own making arrived?
The house was taken over by the mortgage holder,
[2b] What additional trouble came that made all this trouble even worse?
my mother-in-law died, my wife and father-in-law became ill.
[1-2]+2 With the help of Lois’ sister’s husband, what did Bill put together in April 1932?
Then I got a promising business opportunity.
Stocks were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow formed a group to buy.
[3] What did this group of investors promise Bill if he agreed by contract not to drink?
I was to share generously in the profits.
[4] What happened in May 1932, on his very first trip to analyze a company for the new group?
Then I went on a prodigious bender, and that chance vanished.
[1-4]+4 What changed in Bill’s thinking as he approached becoming a Type Two15 sufferer?
I woke up.
This had to be stopped.
I saw I could not take so much as one drink.
I was through forever.
[5a]2p Besides this first-time admission of a problem, what else identifies a Type Two sufferer16?
Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises,
[5b-6]+2 Did Bill make a “real” promise for a change, one he sincerely wanted to keep17?
but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business.
And so I did.
[1] How well did this firm promise help him control his habit18?
Shortly afterward I came home drunk.
[2] What marked Bill’s transition to a Type Three19 personality?
There had been no fight.
[3-5]+3 Does the Type Three20 now see he can’t stop as other people do, but doesn’t know why?
Where had been my high resolve?
I simply didn’t know.
It hadn’t even come to mind.
[6] What does Bill remember about his fight that day to stick to his solemn promise?
Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken it.
[7-8]+2 Did Bill correctly begin to question his sanity?
Was I crazy?
I began to wonder, for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that.
[1] Certain he just needed to exert more willpower, what did Bill do?
Renewing my resolve, I tried again.
[2] What happens when willpower suddenly seems to work as expected?
Some time passed, and confidence began to be replaced by cocksureness.
[3] Was his cockiness a sign of fear—"like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits"21?
I could laugh at the gin mills.
[4] What kind of thinking leads us to believe we’re just like other people22 after all?
Now I had what it takes!
[5-6]+2 What inevitably happens when we rely on willpower to keep ourselves sober?
One day I walked into a cafe to telephone.
In no time I was beating on the bar asking myself how it happened.
[7-8]+2 Once we lose this battle (again), how does insane thinking make things even worse?
As the whisky rose to my head I told myself I would manage better next time, but I might as well get good and drunk then.
And I did.
[1] When Bill sees he has a habit neither willpower nor effort will break23 what are his feelings?
The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable.
[2] Having laughed with false courage at the gin mills24, what now seems to be gone for good?
The courage to do battle was not there.
[3] Why do such thoughts make even simple problems seem "astonishingly difficult to solve"25?
My brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity.
[4] What kind of things become almost impossible after this breakdown of self-confidence?
I hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run down by an early morning truck, for it was scarcely daylight.
[5] So, with such "astonishingly difficult" problems to solve, where does Bill go?
An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale.
[6] What is the first and most important problem his frenzied mind is determined to solve?
My writhing nerves were stilled at last.
[7-10]+4 What did Bill grasp was a bigger disaster for him than the world economic collapse?
A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again.
Well, so had I.
The market would recover, but I wouldn’t.
That was a hard thought.
[11] What might tempt someone facing such permanent and complete disaster26?
Should I kill myself?
[12] Once disgusted by such thoughts27, what did Bill think now?
No—not now.
[13] What relief did Bill’s habit provide him in times of restlessness, fear, anger, and despair?
Then a mental fog settled down.
[14-15] What was Bill’s solution to this problem which was caused by the same solution to all his other problems?
Gin would fix that.
So two bottles, and—oblivion.
[1] How much longer would Bill’s mental and physical torture continue?
The mind and body are marvelous mechanisms, for mine endured this agony two more years.
[2] What happens to our moral standards when our problem is writhing fear and trembling?
Sometimes I stole from my wife’s slender purse when the morning terror and madness were on me.
[3] Why does it seem our insanity is out to kill us, but is happy to make us miserable?
Again I swayed dizzily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet where there was poison, cursing myself for a weakling.
[4a]2p Did Bill and Lois still think the "geographical cure" might work?
There were flights from city to country and back,
[4b] Was Lois trying to help Bill escape or was she also trying to escape?
as my wife and I sought escape.
[5] What was the most dangerous low spot yet on Bill’s journey to the bottom?
Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all.
[6a]2p Had Bill realized by this writing it was Lois who dragged the mattress down the stairs?
Somehow I managed to drag my mattress to a lower floor, lest I suddenly leap.
[7] Was a decision made to have a doctor “called in"28?
A doctor came with a heavy sedative.
[8] Did Bill’s physical and mental craving pave the way for him to abuse prescription drugs?
Next day found me drinking both gin and sedative.
[9] What did he learn about using these two addictive29 substances together?
This combination soon landed me on the rocks.
[10-11] What was becoming clear to everyone including Bill?
People feared for my sanity.
So did I.
[12] Had Bill lost his ability to make himself eat?
I could eat little or nothing when drinking, and I was forty pounds under weight.
[1a]2p Who was Dr. Lyman Burnham?
My brother-in-law is a physician,
[1b] What did Bill’s mother Emily, and Dr. Burnham do to get Bill into Townes Hospital?
and through his kindness and that of my mother I was placed in a nationally-known hospital for the mental and physical rehabilitation of alcoholics.
[2] What effect did a therapy have on Bill which was nicknamed the "Puke and Purge" treatment which began with sedatives chloral hydrate and morphine followed by a combination of 1) "deadly nightshade", 2) henbane (aka "insane root"), and 3) berries of prickly ash—the correct dosage of which was fixed when the patient’s "face became flushed, the throat dry, and the eyes dilated"—which was given every hour, day and night, for nearly 50 hours along with intermittent doses of mercury and strychnine every four hours until at the end castor oil was administered as a purgative?
Under the so-called belladonna treatment my brain cleared.
[3] Then what was done to flush these ingredients from the patient’s body?
Hydrotherapy and mild exercise helped much.
[4a]2p What was the real benefit of Bill’s visit to Townes Hospital?
Best of all, I met a kind doctor
[4b] What did Dr. Silkworth say which helped Bill begin to see the true nature of his illness?
who explained that though certainly selfish and foolish, I had been seriously ill, bodily and mentally.
[1a]2p What did Bill learn from Dr. Silkworth about the "insanity"30 of the first drink?
It relieved me somewhat to learn that in alcoholics the will is amazingly weakened when it comes to combating liquor,
[1b] What makes us cling to the idea we can solve addiction with willpower31?
though it often remains strong in other respects.
[2] What did Bill believe this new understanding of “weakened” willpower explained?
My incredible behavior in the face of a desperate desire to stop was explained.
[3] Was Bill, like Fred the accountant, convinced32 this understanding would help him control this weakness?
Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope.
[4] How long did this “understanding” help him fight the subtle insanity Fred spoke of?
For three or four months the goose hung high.
[5] What remarkable things was Bill able to do when he wasn’t drinking all day every day?
I went to town regularly and even made a little money.
[6] Equipped with this new knowledge of weakened willpower, what did Bill think he had discovered?
Surely this was the answer—self-knowledge.
[1] But, was self-knowledge—the idea that since he knew WHY33,34he drank he could “keep on guard”35—the answer?
But it was not, for the frightful day came when I drank once more.
[2] What would a graph of Bill’s will to live and function look like?
The curve of my declining moral and bodily health fell off like a ski-jump.
[3-4]+2 Having lost his "self-confidence, reliance upon things human"36, what did he face?
After a time I returned to the hospital.
This was the finish, the curtain, it seemed to me.
[5] What was the doctor’s prognosis37 for Bill’s seemingly hopeless condition?
My weary and despairing wife was informed that it would all end with heart failure during delirium tremens, or I would develop a wet brain, perhaps within a year.
[6] So far as the best doctors and psychiatrists knew38, what would Lois soon have to do?
She would soon have to give me over to the undertaker or the asylum.
[1-2a]2p How much hope did Bill himself believe he had to escape a "bitter end"39?
They did not need to tell me.
I knew,
[2b] Death or total insanity—how did Bill feel about either of these outcomes?
and almost welcomed the idea.
[3] His investment ideas had been worth millions—how did facing hopeless death affect him?
It was a devastating blow to my pride.
[4] Where had Bill been brought by pride, ego, self-propulsion, and madness he could not control?
I, who had thought so well of myself and my abilities, of my capacity to surmount obstacles, was cornered at last.
[5] What did Bill think happens to people like him trapped in an obsessive cycle of addiction40?
Now I was to plunge into the dark, joining that endless procession of sots who had gone on before.
[6-7]+2 To whom did his thoughts turn in these darkest hours of total defeat?
I thought of my poor wife.
There had been much happiness after all.
[8] Did loss of pride finally let him see his part in the wreckage of his and Lois’ marriage41?
What would I not give to make amends.
[9] What did self-pity lead him to believe about making useful and wreckage-clearing42 amends?
But that was over now.
[1] How did Bill describe his feelings when he hit stone-cold bottom43?
No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity.
[2] Further efforts to manage his life using self-will seemed to be like what?
Quicksand stretched around me in all directions.
[3-5]+3 What did Bill have to admit about his human ability to control his alcohol addiction44?
I had met my match.
I had been overwhelmed.
Alcohol was my master.
[1] How did his “loss of his self-confidence, reliance upon all things human”45 affect Bill?
Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man.
[2a]3p What inevitably follows from the failure of self-reliance46?
Fear
[2b] What does fear do for us when faced with imminent peril47?
sobered me
[2c] But how long can fear keep us sober before fear itself drives48 us to more madness?
for a bit.
[3a]2p What inevitably follows "fear driven" sobriety49?
Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink,
[3b] "Constant fear and tension"50 makes for more what?
and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again.
[4] Who else lost hope in Bill’s prospects for recovery?
Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end.
[5a]2p What does the bitter end look like to someone who has become completely hopeless51?
How dark it is
[5b] In Bill’s darkest hours, what would come52 though he could not at this point imagine it?
before the dawn!
[6] What could Bill not have known at the time, not till much later?
In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch.
[7] How does Bill here describe what was to become "the most important fact of his life"53?
I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence.
[8a]2p Bill, whose outlook on life had been, “That was over now,”54 would discover what?
I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness,
[8b] Happiness, peace, and usefulness seem to be the direct result of what55?
in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.
[1] By late 1934, Bill seemed to be living only to do what?
Near the end of that bleak November, I sat drinking in my kitchen.
[2] What did "living one day at a time" mean to Bill during those bleak November days?
With a certain satisfaction I reflected there was enough gin concealed about the house to carry me through that night and the next day.
[3] Why was Bill at home by himself?
My wife was at work.
[4] Though he had gin bottles stashed almost everywhere, were they convenient enough for him?
I wondered whether I dared hide a full bottle of gin near the head of our bed.
[5] How well acquainted was he with midnight shaking which he knew the gin would fix?
I would need it before daylight.
[1] What interrupted his thoughts of stashing booze more conveniently near his bed?
My musing was interrupted by the telephone.
[2a]2p What might have been the last thing he thought he would hear over the phone?
The cheery voice of an old school friend
[2b] What did Ebby want to do with all this happiness and cheeriness?
asked if he might come over.
[3] What shocked Bill about Ebby’s condition which he could tell by the sound of Ebby’s voice?
He was sober.
[4] What increased Bill’s shock even more as he thought about it?
It was years since I could remember his coming to New York in that condition.
[5] Ebby’s sobriety was so unexpected, it left Bill feeling what?
I was amazed.
[6] What gossip had Bill heard about Ebby which only added to his astonishment?
Rumor had it that he had been committed for alcoholic insanity.
[7] Instead of wondering how Ebby had sobered, what really puzzled Bill?
I wondered how he had escaped.
[8] What did Bill think would be the principle benefit of Ebby’s visit?
Of course he would have dinner, and then I could drink openly with him.
[9-10]+2 Interested only in escaping his own bleak reality, what did Bill hope to do?
Unmindful of his welfare, I thought only of recapturing the spirit of other days.
There was that time we had chartered an airplane to complete a jag!
[11-12]+2 With quicksand stretching in all directions56, Ebby’s visit would be like what?
His coming was an oasis in this dreary desert of futility.
The very thing—an oasis!
[13] Do some people seem to welcome any opportunity for escape no matter how momentary?
Drinkers are like that.
[1-3]+3 When Ebby knocked at Bill’s apartment, what did Bill immediately notice?
The door opened and he stood there, fresh-skinned and glowing.
There was something about his eyes.
He was inexplicably different.
[4] What did Bill want to know about the completely changed fellow who stood before him?
What had happened?
[1] Right away what did Bill want to do to recapture the good old days with Ebby?
I pushed a drink across the table.
[2] Then what destroyed Bill’s hopes for momentary escape from his dreary existence?
He refused it.
[3-4]+2 Comparing the old Ebby to this new Ebby, what did Bill wonder?
Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got into the fellow.
He wasn’t himself.
[1] Unable to stand it any longer, what did Bill ask?
Come, what’s all this about?" I queried.
[1] Did Ebby seem sheepish, apologetic, or reluctant to speak?
He looked straight at me.
[2] To his old friend Bill, how did Ebby begin his story of recovery from alcohol addiction57?
Simply, but smilingly, he said, "I’ve got religion*."
* Webster’s 1937 "religion": 1. Awareness of God's existence with reverence, love, gratitude, willingness to serve, and the like; 2. collective religious observance.
[1] How did this simple, matter of fact statement hit Bill?
I was aghast.
[2] What did Bill immediately conclude that "this was all about"?
So that was it—last summer an alcoholic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about religion.
[3] Earlier Bill noticed Ebby looked “inexplicably different”—now he described that look how?
He had that starry-eyed look.
[4] What did Ebby's starry-eyed look seem to confirm?
Yes, the old boy was on fire all right.
[5-6]+2 Remembering his satisfactory stash of gin around the house, what did Bill decide?
But bless his heart, let him rant!
Besides, my gin would last longer than his preaching.
[1] Bill had suspected Ebby would lecture him, but what did Ebby actually do?
But he did no ranting.
[2] So, how HAD Ebby escaped the asylum?
In a matter of fact way he told how two men had appeared in court, persuading the judge to suspend his commitment.
[3] What did the two men say to convince the Judge to place Ebby into their custody?
They had told of a simple religious* idea and a practical program of action.
* Webster's 1937 "religious": Pert. to God's existence; practicing faith in and service to God.
[4-5]+2 Did Ebby accept their plan of action and pursue it like a “drowning man”58?
That was two months ago and the result was self-evident.
It worked!
[1] As a part of the practical, spiritual59 plan the two men offered Ebby, why had Ebby come to see Bill?
He had come to pass his experience along to me—if I cared to have it.
[2] What was Bill’s reaction to his old friend’s honest desire to help?
I was shocked, but interested.
[3] Would Bill be interested in the “spiritual program” of treatment60 which seemed to have given Ebby his freedom?
Certainly I was interested.
[4] What really motivated61 Bill’s interest in the spiritual approach which worked for Ebby?
I had to be, for I was hopeless.
Note: questions in this paragraph venture to guess what Ebby talked about based on Bill’s recollections.
[1] Had Ebby meant to drop by for a few minutes to invite Bill to a meeting and then leave?
He talked for hours.
[2] What went through Bill’s mind as Ebby began his story apparently in childhood?
Childhood memories rose before me.
[3a]4p When Ebby mentioned some of his early religious decisions, what did Bill remember?
I could almost hear the sound of the preacher’s voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on the hillside; there was that proffered temperance pledge I never signed;
[3b] When Ebby talked about certain prejudices he developed, what did Bill think back to?
my grandfather’s good natured contempt of some church folk and their doings; his insistence that the spheres really had their music; but his denial of the preacher’s right to tell him how he must listen;
[3c] When Ebby spoke of the faith he saw in others, what did Bill recall?
his fearlessness as he spoke of these things just before he died;
[3d] What came to mind when Bill compared his own experiences to Ebby’s?
these recollections welled up from the past.
[4] How did it affect Bill to realize he had made many early decisions similar to Ebby’s?
They made me swallow hard.
Note: questions in this paragraph venture to guess what Ebby talked about based on Bill’s recollections.
[1] What may have come to mind as Ebby related spiritual experiences from early adulthood?
That war-time day in old Winchester Cathedral came back again.
Note: questions in this paragraph venture to guess what Ebby talked about based on Bill’s recollections.
[1] When Ebby related his decision to “believe in the Power of God”62,63 what did Bill consider?
I had always believed in a Power greater than myself.
[2] From time to time, had Bill reflected on the nature of such a Power?
I had often pondered these things.
[3] Did Bill already believe in “something”, some sort of Creative Intelligence?
I was not an atheist.
[4a]2p Did Bill think very many people who say they are atheists really are atheists?
Few people really are,
[4b] Why did Bill think atheism takes just as much faith as theistic belief?
for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher* and aimlessly rushes nowhere.
* Webster’s 1937 "cipher": A symbol or character written as ‘0’ denoting nothing, zero, no magnitude.
[5] What led Bill to believe that science itself suggests some sort of Intelligent Creator?
My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work.
[6] Despite wars, burnings, and religious chicanery64, what did Bill believe about the universe?
Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all.
[7] When it came to believing in some sort of super intelligence, what made sense to Bill?
How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence?
[8-9]+2 When Bill searched "deep down within"65, what simply had to make sense?
I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation.
But that was as far as I had gone.
[1] At the time of Ebby's visit, did Bill appear to hold to the tenants of a formal belief system?
With ministers, and the world’s religions, I parted right there.
[2] What was Bill’s reaction when they might suggest a God who is personal to each person?
When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.
[1-2]+2 At this time, did Bill seem to be a Christian who apparently did not claim to be one?
To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him.
His moral teaching—most excellent.
Note: See author/historian Dick B's research regarding Bill’s Christian heritage and faith.
[3] Did Bill not “claim” Christianity because it might’ve interfered with his lifestyle?
For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.
[1] What sorts of failings do we sometimes believe are failings of religion rather than of humans themselves?
The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick.
[2] What had Bill concluded about religious institutions in general on the basis of such failings?
I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religions of mankind had done any good.
[3a]2p Therefore Bill seemed to believe what about God’s willingness or ability to help?
Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible,
[3b] In Bill’s view, the concept of one human being helping another out of love and concern was what?
the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest.
[4] At this point, who did Bill think might really be in charge on earth…even of his own life?
If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me.
[1] What fact—which Bill now saw with his own eyes—completely changed his previous thinking?
But my friend sat before me, and he made the pointblank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself.
[2-5]+4 What parts of Ebby’s story seemed to confirm Ebby had been hopeless and powerless?
His human will had failed.
Doctors had pronounced him incurable.
Society was about to lock him up.
Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat.
[6] What suggested some remarkable, amazing power must've stepped in?
Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known!
[1] Ebby said God did it—but did Bill wonder if Ebby hadn’t simply discovered some new inner resource?
Had this power originated in him?
[2]+2 Having known Ebby for many years and now hearing his story, how did Bill answer his own question?
Obviously it had not.
There had been no more power in him than there was in me at that minute; and this was none at all.
[1] How did Bill react when he realized Ebby’s dramatic change could not be due to Ebby's own power?
That floored me.
[2] What was Bill’s instantaneous new opinion of ministers who spoke of a "personal God"66?
It began to look as though religious people were right after all.
[3] Was Bill beginning to believe a “personal God of love and power”67 might be the explanation?
Here was something at work in a human heart which had done the impossible.
[4] At that very moment, what was at least one old idea68 which Bill let go?
My ideas about miracles were drastically revised right then.
[5] To that moment, Bill seems to have believed the “Age of Miracles”69 was a thing of the past, but now what?
Never mind the musty past; here sat a miracle directly across the kitchen table.
[6] What did the miracle of Ebby’s cheery, sober presence at Bill’s kitchen table literally shout?
He shouted great tidings.
[1] How did Bill answer another of his own questions—maybe “moral psychology”70 had cured Ebby?
I saw that my friend was much more than inwardly reorganized.
[2-3]+2 What showed Bill that Ebby appeared to have a new life71 rather than a reorganized one?
He was on a different footing.
His roots grasped a new soil.
[1] What doubts remained in Bill72 about the miracle now sitting across the table from him?
Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice.
[2] Did Bill cling to a few old ideas73 about who God is and what God does?
The word God still aroused a certain antipathy*.
* Webster’s 1937 "antipathy": A settled aversion or intense dislike; repugnance; distaste.
[3] Over the years, what had become Bill’s attitude toward the God of “love, superhuman strength and direction”74?
When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified.
[4] Was a personal relationship with the God of the universe just a little too personal?
I didn’t like the idea.
[5a]2p What conceptions helped Bill keep God at a good, safe distance?
I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature
[5b] What was his reaction to the idea of an all-powerful75, God of authority and love76?
but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be.
[6] Have many of us have had thoughts and reactions similar to those Bill once had?
I have since talked with scores of men who felt the same way.
[1] When Ebby realized Bill was handicapped77 by “vestiges of old prejudice”78, what did he do?
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea.
[2] What suggestion freed Bill to ask himself what “made sense”79 to him about who God is80?
He said, "Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?"
[1] How did Bill react to the idea faith could be based on what made sense to him81,82?
That statement hit me hard.
[2] What happened when Bill saw he free to let go of old ideas which weren’t working?
It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years.
[3] And when his icy intellectual pride melted, where did Bill suddenly find himself?
I stood in the sunlight at last.
[1] Icy pride made him unwilling to believe—what now did Bill see makes faith possible83?
It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself.
[2] What did Bill realize willingness—and belief84—would make possible for him to do?
Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.
[3] Willingness to believe would lead to what85?
I saw that growth could start from that point.
[4] What would in fact be the foundation86,87,88,89 of Bill’s new way of living?
Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend.
[5-6]+2 Did Bill want what he saw in Ebby—life on new footing, roots grasping new soil90?
Would I have it?
Of course I would!
[1] Of what was Bill convinced by the simplicity of "willingness to believe"91 in God’s Power92?
Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough.
[2] From "quicksand all around"93 to belief in God’s power and care94, where had Bill arrived?
At long last I saw, I felt, I believed.
[3] What happened to the “icy mountain” of old ideas95 which long blocked Bill from God’s care?
Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes.
[4] What did Bill see when he crossed this bridge of what-made-sense96, to the shore of faith97?
A new world came into view.
[1] What did Bill now remember of his visit as a soldier during WWI98 to Winchester, England99?
The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me.
[2] While inside the cathedral, Bill’s distress and loneliness had prompted him to want what?
For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God.
[3a]2p What memory confirmed his new understanding of willingness, belief100, and humility101?
There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me
[3b] So as Bill saw it, the significance of that experience102 in the cathedral was that God did what103,104?
—and He came.
[4] Then the years wore on and what happened to Bill’s sense of nearness to his Creator?
But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself.
[5] For how long until now had worldly clamors blotted out his sense of God’s presence?
And so it had been ever since.
[6] Had Bill been a victim of the delusion that happiness is just a matter of good management105?
How blind I had been.
[1] Where did Bill go one final time to clear the alcohol out of his system?
At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time.
[2] Since Bill was told he could die of heart failure during tremens106, what seemed prudent?
Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.
Note: the following questions attempt to relate the actions Bill took in the hospital to what later became known as the Twelve Steps.
[1-3]+3 Having taken only 30 years to complete step One107, and a couple of more weeks after Ebby’s visit to complete step Two108, when and how did Bill take his Third Step?
There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would.
I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction.
I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.
[4] What did Bill do next—just he and God alone—to begin steps Four, Six, and Seven?
I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch.
[5] With Bill’s new willingness to do anything, what did his New Employer begin to do for Bill which Bill had never been able to do for himself109?
I have not had a drink since.
Note: the following questions attempt to relate the actions Bill took in the hospital to what later became known as the Twelve Steps.
[1] How and when to Bill take step Five?
My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and deficiencies.
[2] How did Ebby help Bill finish up step Four110,111 in preparation for steps Eight and Nine?
We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment.
[3a]2p What did Bill say to Ebby which demonstrated his understanding of the Eighth Step?
I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals,
[3b-5]+3 What Step Nine instructions did Ebby give Bill which Bill could not follow until he left the hospital?
admitting my wrong.
Never was I to be critical of them.
I was to right all such matters to the utmost of my ability.
Note: the following questions attempt to relate the actions Bill took in the hospital to what later became known as the Twelve Steps.
[1] What did Ebby teach Bill about “maintaining fit spiritual condition”112 which later became Steps Ten113 and Eleven114?
I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within.
[2] What results could he expect from consistent practice of Steps Ten and Eleven115
Common sense would thus become uncommon sense.
[3] What instructions go with us “through the day”116 are based on Step Ten’s "Thy will be done" prayer?
I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me.
[4a]2p What else did Ebby impress on Bill for his Step Eleven prayers117?
Never was I to pray for myself,
[4b] Upon what condition did Ebby suggest Bill could pray for himself?
except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others.
[5-6]+2 What could Bill expect if he carefully followed these instructions concerning prayer?
Then only might I expect to receive.
But that would be in great measure.
Note: the following questions attempt to relate the actions Bill took in the hospital to what later became known as the Twelve Steps.
[1] What would happen when Bill took Step Nine and continued taking the other steps?
My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems.
* Webster’s 1937 "answered": v.i. To be adequate; to serve the purpose, e.g. "…to solve all…".
[2a]4p What is the first requirement for a new relationship with one’s Creator, a way of living that solves all problems?
Belief in the power of God,
[2b] What’s the second requirement which coupled with “works”118 keeps faith alive119?
plus enough willingness, honesty and humility
[2c] What is the decision that "hereafter in the drama of life God is going to be our Director"120?
to establish and maintain the new order of things,
[2d] So, belief in God’s power plus willingness and humility to work helping others121 are what?
were the essential requirements.
[1a]2pThe two “essential requirements” just mentioned122—elsewhere stated as “staying close to God and doing His work well”123—are what?
Simple, but not easy;
[1b] They sound simple, but the two requirements require work and self-sacrifice124...why?
a price had to be paid.
[2] What is the price of the new relationship with one's Creator which "solves all problems"125?
It meant destruction of self-centeredness.
[3] Destruction of self-centeredness requires the constant126 making what choice127 “every day…in all activities”128?
I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.
[1a]2p Bill considered “belief in the power of God plus enough willingness, humility, and honesty to establish and maintain (...belief in the power of God no matter what...)”, to be what129?
These were revolutionary and drastic proposals,
[1b] What happened the moment Bill came to believe “the power of God”130 could restore him to sanity?
but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric.
[2] Bill who once thought himself a useless sot131, "cornered at last"132, now experienced what?
There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never known.
[3] Having once lost all confidence he could ever stay sober133 how confident was he now?
There was utter confidence.
[4] How did he feel on suddenly finding “the Great Reality within”134?
I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through.
[5a]2p Should everyone expect an immediate sense of God’s presence such as Bill experienced135?
God comes to most men gradually,
[5b] But what does Bill matter-of-factly declare happened to him?
but His impact on me was sudden and profound.
[1a]2p Not being use to mountaintop winds blowing through, how did Bill react at first?
For a moment I was alarmed,
[1b] Acutely aware of being a patient in a mental hospital, what seemed prudent?
and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane.
[2] What did the doctor do who just weeks ago had declared Bill to be beyond human aid136?
He listened in wonder as I talked.
[1] As a psychiatrist and physician, what did Dr. Silkworth admit about the change he saw in Bill?
Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don’t understand.
[2] But as a human being who deeply cared about people, what did the doctor say?
But you had better hang on to it.
[3] More interested in real life outcomes than perfect methods, what was the doctor sure about?
Anything is better than the way you were."
[4] Because his clinic allowed Bill to tell his story137 to other patients, what has the doctor seen?
The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences.
[5] Carefully tracking such recoveries138, what did the doctor conclude about spiritual experiences?
He knows that they are real*.
*For Amplification—see Appendix II("Spiritual Experience", page 569/5694th).
[1-3]+3 What "inspiration, intuitive thought, or decision"139 came to Bill?
While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me.
Perhaps I could help some of them.
They in turn might work with others.
Note: the following questions attempt to relate the actions Bill took in the hospital to what later became known as the Twelve Steps.
[1] What did Ebby urge Bill to do “every day in all activities”140 which is suggested as Step 12?
My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs.
[2] Also Step 12, what else did Ebby say is vital141 for maintaining “fit spiritual condition”142,143?
Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me.
[3a]2p Again, what again did Ebby stress is the first “requirement”144 for a way of living145 which solves all problems146?
Faith
[3b] What did Ebby say about faith which is not optional but essential to keep faith alive147?
without works was dead, he said.
[4] What is true for us whose "hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience"148?
And how appallingly true for the al,coholic!
[5a]2p Again, how crucial were Ebby’s two suggested requirements—“faith and works”149?
For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others,
[5b] What can happen if we do not act on faith to keep faith alive in Steps 10, 11, and 12?
he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead.
[6] Why does Bill write (just above) this is appallingly true for a recovered person?
If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die.
* Webster’s 1937 “appallingly”: With amazed terror confounding the faculties; syn: fearfully.
[7] What good is faith to someone who has no more breath?
Then faith would be dead indeed.
[8] So how simple is this idea: we put our faith to work and we live…or we don’t and we don’t?
With us it is just like that.
[1a]2p Did Lois, too, seem to adopt the principles of this new way of living150 and to apply them?
My wife and I abandoned ourselves
[1b] What did their 3rd Step—“abandon ourselves utterly to Him”—151 look like for Bill and Lois?
with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems.
[2a]2p How did Bill feel about having this new “sane and useful”152 work to do?
It was fortunate,
[2b] Why did Bill have lots of free time just when he needed to be helping others?
for my old business associates remained skeptical for a year and a half, during which I found little work.
[3] What motivated Bill to proactively153 look for people to help those first eighteen months?
I was not too well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment.
[4a]2p How do we know resentment and self-pity are symptoms of the “subtle insanity”154 which drives this addiction?
This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink,
[4b] How does keeping faith alive through work and self-sacrifice for others155 help restore sanity?
but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day.
[5a]2p Where did Bill go because he had been there, recovered there, and knew the doctors156,157?
Many times I have gone to my old hospital
[5b] What again motivated most if not all of Bill’s visits to his old hospital?
in despair.
[6] Why does the book say a newcomer may be helping an old-timer more than vice versa158?
On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet.
[7] What is "staying close to God"159 and "helping others"160?
It is a design for living that works in rough going.
[1] What benefits did Bill and Lois enjoy in "staying close to God and doing His work well"161?
We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowship has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part.
[2] How did helping others see Bill and Lois through times of stress, distress, and temptation?
The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty.
[3-6]+4 Adopting this “design for living”162 led Bill and Lois to see what “remarkable things”163,164?
I have seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all sorts wiped out.
I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their families and communities.
Business and professional men have regained their standing.
There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us.
[7] What was going in Ohio around the time the book was published in April, 1939?
In one western city and its environs there are one thousand of us and our families.
[8] Besides meeting almost daily165 to talk how they might present their message166,167,168, what type of meeting did they hold once a week for anyone "interested in a spiritual way of life"169?
We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek.
[9] About how many people—newcomers, old-timers, spouses, anybody—usually showed up?
At these informal gatherings one may often see from 50 to 200 persons.
[10] What could Bill already see happening in 1939 which told of the fellowship’s future?
We are growing in numbers and power.*
* A.A. is now composed of some 12,000 groups (1966). [from 8th Printing, 2nd Edition]
* A.A. is now composed of some 12,000 groups (1966). [from 8th Printing, 2nd Edition]
[1] How did Bill describe someone who is trapped in selfishness, delusion, fear, and pride?
An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature.
[2] His efforts to help people trapped in this same condition he once suffered were what170?
Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic.
[3] What did one fellow do who had a habit he couldn’t break171, who couldn’t or wouldn’t grasp this simple program172, who may have been incapable of being honest with himself173?
One poor chap committed suicide in my home.
[4] What could he not do when his choices were “the bitter end…or to accept spiritual help”174?
He could not, or would not, see our way of life.
[1] In spite of the strenuous and sometime tragic work, how did Bill see their effort overall?
There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all.
[2] Might some be offended when we laugh uproariously at our own worst disasters?
I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity.
[3] Day after day, what kept them going in the face of their strenuous, sometimes tragic work?
But just underneath there is deadly earnestness.
[4a]2p What was the mainspring175 of their efforts to help others find a solution?
Faith
[4b] They knew they had to do what in faith “every day in all activities"176 to keep faith alive?
has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us,
[4c] What happens if we "let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels"177?
or we perish.
[1] With respect to mankind’s ageless search for heaven on earth, what did Bill feel he had found?
Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia.
[2] Where then did Bill and the small, 1939 band of fellowships in New York and Akron find Utopia?
We have it with us right here and now.
[3] What bloomed from the simple spiritual idea and practical program of action178 Ebby brought?
Each day my friend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men.
[1a]2p The 1939 1st Ed. states we know “one hundred men”, but here in the 2nd Ed. says what?
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, know thousands of men and women
[1b] Referring back to Bill’s description of himself1,2 in “Bill’s Story”, what do the first 100 also say about themselves?
who were once just as hopeless as Bill.
[2] How successful were the principles of recovery which these individuals write about here?
Nearly all have recovered.
[3] What did it do for them to adopt the spiritual program of action3 they write about?
They have solved the drink problem.
[1] How do the writers of this simple-but-not-easy program4 describe themselves?
We are average Americans.
[2] Where were they from, what work did they do, what were their politics and religious views?
All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds.
[3] Do people who come from such varied backgrounds typically even know each other?
We are people who normally would not mix.
[4] In spite of their widely varying backgrounds, what did they share?
But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.
[5] To what do they compare the wonderful fellowship they describe in these pages5?
We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain’s table.
[6] Did their feelings–or ours today–fade when departing one another’s company?
Unlike the feelings of the ship’s passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways.
[7] Our great joy in escape unites us, but is it the only thing?
The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us.
[8] Is our great joy of escape even the most important thing that holds us together?
But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.
[1] What does hold us together in fellowship, friendliness and understanding?
The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution.
[2a]3p What does this common solution give us?
We have a way out
[2b] What makes this solution effective across all boundaries of time and backgrounds?
on which we can absolutely agree,
[2c] How can “carrying the message”6 be a team effort7 for both old and new members?
and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action.
[3] Just as Ebby’s news of a way out "shouted great tidings"8 to Bill, what does this book do?
This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.
[1a]2p What do the authors suggest makes this problem so resistant to human efforts to control it?
An illness of this sort—and we have come to believe it an illness—
[1b] How does this kind of illness affect family and friends around us?
involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can.
[2] How do people feel usually about someone with a “normal” illness, especially a serious one?
If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt.
[3a]2p What type of crazy illness provokes the exact opposite reaction?
But not so with the alcoholic illness,
[3b] What follows in the wake of a malady which embroils everyone around it?
for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life.
[4] What does a spiritual illness9,10 do that a physical illness does not do?
It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferer’s.
[5] The selfishness, dishonesty, and fear11 of a spiritual illness brings what to everyone?
It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents—anyone can increase the list.
* Note to study leader: As an option, include the next paragraph here.
[1] What did the authors hope this book would do for sufferers as well as those around them12?
We hope this volume will inform and comfort those who are, or who may be affected.
[2] Do we know how many people afflicted both directly and indirectly this might be?
There are many.
[1-2]+2 How reluctant to be “entirely honest with someone”13 are many of us who suffer this illness?
Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve.
Strangely enough, wives, parents and intimate friends usually find us even more unapproachable than do the psychiatrist and the doctor.
[1a]2p Who can show up with a cheery voice14 which may melt our “icy mountain”15 of reserve?
But the ex-problem drinker
[1b] What is the single most important qualification for a person making such an approach?
who has found this solution,
[1c] Having followed the path16 of the first 100, how well equipped is this person to be of help?
who is properly armed with facts about himself,
[1d] What can this fellow do which others usually find impossible to do?
can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours.
[2] Why spend hours gaining person’s confidence before outlining the program of action17?
Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished.
[1a]2p What might gain the interest of someone suffering humiliation and hopelessness18?
That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful;
[1b] In what kind of fellowship can someone find welcome and real answers?
that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured—
[1c] How do these conditions pave the way for someone looking for real answers?
these are the conditions we have found most effective.
[2] What do many utterly hopeless sufferers do after being approached in this way?
After such an approach many take up their beds and walk again.
[1] Do any of us make 12th Step work a full-time job?
None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did.
[2] Is sobriety the main focus, the main goal of this new way of life?
We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning.
[3] Where must19 our 12 Step work begin—on street corners, treatment centers, in jails?
A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs.
[4] After putting our home and our work in order20,21, what can we do in some free time?
All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe.
[5] What do some of us do who have more free time than others?
A few are fortunate enough to be so situated that they can give nearly all their time to the work.
[1] What is realistic to foresee in the growth of this 12 Step fellowship?
If we keep on the way we are going there is little doubt that much good will result, but the surface of the problem would hardly be scratched.
[2] What do we see happening in the lives of people all around us?
Those of us who live in large cities are overcome by the reflection that close by hundreds are dropping into oblivion every day.
[3] What can happen when we ask God how we can help someone who is still sick22?
Many could recover if they had the opportunity we have enjoyed.
[4] What question was the fellowship already asking before there were ten members23?
How then shall we present that which has been so freely given us?
[1] What did one of these first groups decide was the best way to carry their message?
We have concluded to publish an anonymous volume setting forth the problem as we see it.
[2] What was this group’s primary resource for the material they published in this book?
We shall bring to the task our combined experience and knowledge.
[3] What did they finally come up with which they thought would be helpful24?
This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem.
[1] In what fields did the writers think their experience might unintentionally challenge some expert opinions?
Of necessity there will have to be discussion of matters medical, psychiatric, social, and religious.
[2] Were the writers aware their experience might contradict25 some long held ideas?
We are aware that these matters are, from their very nature, controversial.
[3] Do we wish we could simply make known what happened to us without inciting dispute?
Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument.
[4] What will we do to avoid controversy if at all possible?
We shall do our utmost to achieve that ideal.
[5] What should be our attitude when our experience seems to contradict conventional wisdom?
Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others.
[6] How does this attitude arise from our new conscious contact with our Creator26,27
Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.
[1] By now, readers affected by this illness may be asking what?
You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking.
[2] Does it seem incredible that these once lost and hopeless, very ill people are writing a book?
Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body.
[3] Besides “Will it work for me?”28, what else do hopeless people of all kinds want to know?
If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking—"What do I have to do?"
[1] Where can someone who “wants to get over it” find answers to questions like these?
It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically.
[2] The authors believe the best way to provide “real answers”29 to such questions is to do what?
We shall tell you what we have done.
[3] And so, where do the authors begin?
Before going into a detailed discussion, it may be well to summarize some points as we see them.
[1-9]+9 What kind of questions illustrate the truly baffling nature of this illness30?
How many times people have said to us: "I can take it or leave it alone. Why can’t he?"
"Why don’t you drink like a gentleman or quit?"
"That fellow can’t handle his liquor."
"Why don’t you try beer and wine?"
"Lay off the hard stuff."
"His will power must be weak."
"He could stop if he wanted to."
"She’s such a sweet girl, I should think he’d stop for her sake."
"The doctor told him that if he ever drank again it would kill him, but there he is all lit up again."
[1] How often do we hear very puzzled people express such remarks?
Now these are commonplace observations on drinkers which we hear all the time.
[2] Where do such comments come from—upon what are they based?
Back of them is a world of ignorance and misunderstanding.
[3] Might there be people who sometimes behave as we do, but are actually quite different?
We see that these expressions refer to people whose reactions are very different from ours.
[1] For example, how might we classify those who can quit on their own whenever they want?
Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it.
[2] What can these moderate types do which the truly hopeless31 types cannot do?
They can take it or leave it alone.
[1] What’s another type which certainly looks bad but may not yet be truly hopeless?
Then we have a certain type of hard drinker.
[2-3]+2 What similarity is there between this fellow and the one who is truly hopeless?
He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally.
It may cause him to die a few years before his time.
[4] What do we say to the fellow who isn’t so far gone as he may look?
If a sufficiently strong reason—ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor—becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.
[1] Moderates can stop, but who is this fellow who discovers he cannot break the habit no matter what he does32?
But what about the real alcoholic?
[2] At what point does this fellow begin to realize “Lack of power..."33 "I'm doomed!"34?
He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.
[1] What mystifies everyone about the fellow who says he wants to quit but doesn’t do so35?
Here is the fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control.
[2] What is so completely baffling about someone who can’t or won’t quit?
He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking.
[3] Is this the same person who told us yesterday he decided to quit forever?
He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
[4] Do we ever see him take just a little but then stop when he begins to feel the effect36?
He is seldom mildly intoxicated.
[5] What seems to be the "new normal" for this fellow?
He is always more or less insanely drunk.
[6-8]+3 Compared to his old normal, what changes occur to his personality and character?
His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little.
He may be one of the finest fellows in the world.
Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social.
[9] Does he also make foolish decisions37 that put him in a "position to be hurt"38?
He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept.
[10a]2p Is this individual also as wild and unpredictable in other matters?
He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor,
[10b] But how does he act when it comes to whatever it is that brings him an immediate sense of “ease and comfort”39?
but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish.
[11] What makes it so difficult for him to admit he may have a serious problem?
He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him.
[12a]2p What does he do with the many talents he has?
He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself,
[12b] Inevitably however, what does he do because he has a problem he can’t or won’t admit40?
and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees.
[13-14]+2 Is the desperate habit ever satisfied?
He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated he ought to sleep the clock around.
Yet early next morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplaced the night before.
[15a]2p What’s another example of this person's dishonesty and selfishness41 which seem to be a requirement42 of an unbreakable habit43?
If he can afford it, he may have liquor concealed all over his house
[15b] What's he trying to manage?
to be certain no one gets his entire supply away from him to throw down the wastepipe.
[16a]2p When fear and remorse threaten to swallow him, what does Mr. Hyde do?
As matters grow worse, he begins to use a combination of high-powered sedative and liquor
[16b] Now, what’s he trying to manage?
to quiet his nerves so he can go to work.
[17] What does our spiraling friend do when nothing quiets his nerves?
Then comes the day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all over again.
[18] What's the first thing our friend might try when he decides, “I can’t go on like this!”44?
Perhaps he goes to a doctor who gives him morphine or some sedative with which to taper off.
[19] If something worse doesn’t happen first, what might be the poor fellow’s next new home?
Then he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums.
[1] Does everyone who suffers this malady show the same symptoms?
This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary.
[2] Though our exact symptoms vary, are these patterns generally characteristic of most of us?
But this description should identify him roughly.
[1] What does everyone—including the sufferer—want to know?
Why does he behave like this?
[2] To be a little more specific, what completely baffles everyone?
If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink?
[3] After emerging remorseful from our last spree, resolving "Never again!"45, what can we still not do?
Why can’t he stay on the water wagon?
[4] What do we wonder about ourselves or anyone else we see behaving this way?
What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?
[1] Does this book tell us the exact reason “why” our behavior is so irrational?
Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions.
[2] For example, the Doctor’s allergy hypothesis46 makes sense, but is it a proven fact?
Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people.
[3a]2p And so, the answer to the question, "Why do we act this way?" is what?
We are not sure why,
[3b] What is the prognosis for any one of us who say we want to quit but cannot or will not47?
once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him.
[4] What is the answer—why are some of us unable to control our lives48?
We cannot answer the riddle.
[1] Might we at times look normal—the way we think other people look49,50?
We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men.
[2] Since we think we look normal, what do we assume must be the problem51?
We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop.
[3] What seems to confirm that it must be this substance of some kind that's the problem?
The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this.
[1a]2p If we know we experience a destructive transformation every time we “succumb to the desire”52, and we assume that's the problem, how could we easily avoid any further trouble?
These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink,
[1b] If our main problem is an allergic reaction, then just not starting again would prevent what?
thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion.
[2] But, if the main problem is not a physical allergy—which some have but others don’t—what is the main problem?
Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.
[3] If you ask the fellow who just started again WHY he started again, will he say it’s his mind—his thinking—that’s his “main problem”?
If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis.
[4a]2p Do some of our alibis sound somewhat possible in far fetched way?
Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility,
[4b] Does anybody believe such alibis—do we ourselves even believe them?
but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic’s drinking bout creates.
[5] In light of the damage done, how much sense do any of our excuses make?
They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can’t feel the ache.
[6] How do we respond so long as we’re obsessed with the idea we will yet find a way to control this thing and enjoy it53 like everybody else54?
If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk.
[1] What do we do sometimes do when we run out of excuses?
Once in a while he may tell the truth.
[2] What is the real reason we make up ridiculous alibis?
And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea why he took that first drink than you have.
[3] Who are we really trying to convince?
Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time.
[4] What do we desperately not want to admit…especially to ourselves?
But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it.
[5] What happens to our thinking when we realize we have an injurious55 habit we cannot break56?
Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot.
[6] When we're desperate to quit but don’t know how, what occupies every thought?
There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game.
[7] In our heart of hearts, what do we know is the truth about our condition?
But they often suspect they are down for the count.
[1] Do family, friends, doctors, employers, or anybody else understand just how hopeless—and helpless—the person with a real problem is?
How true this is, few realize.
[2a]3p What do the people closest to us suspect?
In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are abnormal,
[2b] But without more knowledge of the illness, what seems to be everyone’s only option?
but everybody hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy
[2c] Because of what everyone thinks the problem is, what are we all sure we must do to solve it?
and assert his power of will.
[1] How long do we think we need to get our act together, assert our will, and be done with this problem?
The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive.
[2] Are we like a driver on the freeway whose steering wheel has come off in his hands?
He has lost control.
[3] What is certain to happen if-when we are really afflicted with this illness?
At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail.
[4] At what point do most of us suddenly realize we have a habit57 over which we no control?
This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected.
[1] If like Bill, we have “met our match”58, what hard truth about ourselves are we shocked to discover?
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink.
[2] What?! Have we lost “free-will”?! Why can’t we decide to stop and stick to that decision?
Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent.
[3] Why can't we remember going down this road before and all the trouble we found?
We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.
[4] When we come to our senses, what cold, hard fact simply won't argue with us anymore?
We are without defense against the first drink.
[1] What doesn’t come to mind at the “first think”59, the recurring desire for “release from care, boredom, and worry”60?
The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us.
[2] Why don’t our previously vivid, horrific, or disgusting memories of past disasters stop us?
If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people.
[3] When this kind of thinking takes hold, what happens to our normal ability to sense danger?
There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.
[1] What sure sign of the “subtle insanity”61 does Doctor Silkworth describe when he writes:
"The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false"62?
The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won’t burn me this time, so here’s how!"
[2] What can happen in a blink of great joy63...or simple satisfaction64...or just busy life65?
Or perhaps he doesn’t think at all.
[3a]3p What have many of us done with zero awareness of what we were doing?
How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way,
[3b] When might we finally notice what just happened?!!
and after the third or fourth,
[3c] Shocked to find ourselves in quicksand…again, what question comes to mind…yet again66?
pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, "For God’s sake, how did I ever get started again?"
[4] What thought shows us that insanity “surrounds”—i.e., both precedes and follows—this sort of nonchalant action in a way that literally “prevents normal functioning of will power”67?
Only to have that thought supplanted by "Well, I’ll stop with the sixth drink."
[5] What is the illness’s “knockout punch”—the thought that robs all hope?
Or "What’s the use anyhow?"
[1a]3p What may occur when the “insanity” really settles in—when the steering wheel comes off in our hands…on a dark icy down-dropping road…and the bridge ahead is out?
When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid,
[1b] For 10,000 years, what was the only known option for treating such insanity?
and unless locked up,
[1c] And unless forcefully confined, what were the most likely outcomes?
may die or go permanently insane.
[2] How do we know this has been true from time immemorial?
These stark and ugly facts have been confirmed by legions of alcoholics throughout history.
[3] What would have happened to many more of us but for the grace of God?
But for the grace of God, there would have been thousands more convincing demonstrations.
[4] Having lost our ability to think sanely, what is our dilemma68?
So many want to stop but cannot.
[1] Ebby’s sobriety shouted "great tidings" to Bill69 and now to us; what are those tidings?
There is a solution.
[2a]3p At first, even when we’re desperate to quit, what do most of us think of this solution?
Almost none of us liked
[2b] What is it we might not like about a process which demolishes self-centeredness70?
the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings
* Webster's 1937 "shortcoming": A failing, coming up short; lack of something for completeness.
[2c] But if we desperately want ”a way of living which solves all problems”71, how essential are these actions?
which the process requires for its successful consummation.
[3a]2p What makes us willing to believe this process might work for us?
But we saw that it really worked in others, and
[3b] And what72,73 makes us willing to go through with the process whether we like it or not74?
we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it.
[4a]2p What can some cheery75, sober people do who are “armed with the facts about themselves”76?
When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved,
[4b] When we see they once were just as hopeless as we are, what simply makes good sense?
there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.
[5a]2p As a result, what did we find here on earth which we had not dreamed to expect?
We have found much of heaven
[5b] Later in the book, the authors say, “We have entered the world of the Spirit”77—how do they express that conviction here?
and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
[1a]2p How do the authors classify the miracle they experienced?
The great fact is just this, and nothing less:
[1b] What is the "what happened"78 part of our stories which we tell when we work with others79?
That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences* which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God’s universe.
* Fully explained—Appendix II.
[2] What do the authors say is the "cornerstone"80,81,82 of recovery?
The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous.
[3] Why do we call this new relationship with our Creator "miraculous"?
He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.
* Fully explained—Appendix II.
[1] Might a less drastic process work than the one suggested here83 which requires “self-searching”, “leveling of pride” and “confession of shortcomings”84?
If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution.
[2a]3p In case we’re still wondering, how do we know when our condition is “serious”85?
We were in a position where life was becoming impossible,
[2b] What do we mean when we say “life was becoming impossible”86?
and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid,
[2c] When life seems impossible because nothing we do seems to work, what are our options?
we had but two alternatives:
[3a]2p What option might we previously have concluded was our only option87?
One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could;
[3b] What option do we have now if we can believe the writers of this book?
and the other, to accept spiritual help.
[4] When the writers themselves faced these options, why did they choose the spiritual option?
This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort.
[1] What example do the authors give of someone who recovered by accepting spiritual help?
A certain American business man had ability, good sense, and high character.
[2-3]+2 How had life become impossible88 for the businessman?
For years he had floundered from one sanitarium to another.
He had consulted the best known American psychiatrists.
[4] Where did he finally go hoping to find an answer?
Then he had gone to Europe, placing himself in the care of a celebrated physician (the psychiatrist, Dr. Jung) who prescribed* for him.
* Webster’s 1937 "prescribe": To order the use of a remedy or treatment.
[5] How did he feel after his first round of rehabilitation with Dr. Jung?
Though experience had made him skeptical, he finished his treatment with unusual confidence.
[6] How improved were his health and well-being with the treatment?
His physical and mental condition were unusually good.
[7] What did the treatment give him that led him to believe he had finally solved his problem?
Above all, he believed he had acquired such a profound knowledge of the inner workings of his mind and its hidden springs that relapse was unthinkable.
[8] But, how long did his new-found self-knowledge keep him sober?
Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time.
[9] Surely his new understanding of himself helped him determine what happened, yes?
More baffling still, he could give himself no satisfactory explanation for his fall.
[1a]2p Maybe hoping for a booster dose of “profound knowledge”, what did he do?
So he returned to this doctor, whom he admired,
[1b] When told there were no other known treatment options, what did he ask the doctor?
and asked him point-blank why he could not recover.
[2] Did he still believe getting his self-will back was his only hope89 of recovery?
He wished above all things to regain self-control.
[3] What made him sure he could master his problem if he could just get a handle on it90?
He seemed quite rational and well-balanced with respect to other problems.
[4] But when it came to this one problem, what completely baffled91,92 this capable businessman?
Yet he had no control whatever over alcohol.
[5] What did he desperately want to know about his baffling lack of control?
Why was this?
[1] What did our flummoxed friend implore the doctor to tell him?
He begged the doctor to tell him the whole truth, and he got it.
[2a]2p Now before our friend’s vital spiritual experience and recovery, what was Dr. Jung’s opinion?
In the doctor’s judgment he was utterly hopeless; he could never regain his position in society
[2b] What would he have to do if he did not want to die or go permanently insane93?
and he would have to place himself under lock and key or hire a bodyguard if he expected to live long.
[3] What made this diagnosis seem utterly final and inevitable to our friend?
That was a great physician’s opinion.
[1] After Dr. Jung’s bleak and terminal prognosis, what are we now totally amazed to hear?
But this man still lives, and is a free man.
[2] Wait! What? You mean he doesn’t need to be guarded or incarcerated to live freely?
He does not need a bodyguard nor is he confined.
[3a]2p Ah. So he must have found a way to never go where liquor is served; nor keep liquor in his home; nor have friends who drink; nor watch films which show drinking scenes94?
He can go anywhere on this earth where other free men may go without disaster,
[3b] How on earth does he do this, given the doctor’s utter certainty of his hopelessness95,96?
provided he remains willing to maintain a certain simple attitude.
[1] Are some of us tempted to think we can to solve this illness on our own?
Some of our alcoholic readers may think they can do without spiritual help.
[2] What do the writers want to say to any of us who think we don’t need spiritual help?
Let us tell you the rest of the conversation our friend had with his doctor.
[1] What did Dr. Jung tell his baffled97 patient was the patient’s “main problem”98 which the insights he had gained in treatment99 did not actually solve?
The doctor said: "You have the mind of a chronic alcoholic.
[2] What did the doctor say he had always seen where "this sort of thinking was fully established"100?
I have never seen one single case recover, where that state of mind existed to the extent that it does in you."
[3] How did our friend feel when he realized his own thinking—his OWN thinking101—was his "main problem"102?
Our friend felt as though the gates of hell had closed on him with a clang.
[1] Alarmed the doctor had just pronounced him unrecoverable, effectively hopeless, what did he desperately want to know?
He said to the doctor, "Is there no exception?"
[1] What did Dr. Jung say which seemed (at first) to suggest very good news for our desperate friend?
"Yes," replied the doctor, "there is.
[2] What had the doctor heard about some “unrecoverable”103 types who had escaped the insanity?
Exceptions to cases such as yours have been occurring since early times.
[3] What did the exceptions seem to have in common?
Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences*.
* For Amplification—see Appendix II ("Spiritual Experience", page 569/5694th).
[4] How did the doctor, a man of science, classify "vital spiritual experiences"?
To me these occurrences are phenomena.
* Webster's 1937 "phenomena": A rare fact, event, or observed experience; usu. of unique significance.
[5] What did vital spiritual experiences look like to the trained, careful observer Dr. Jung?
They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements.
[6] In a vital spiritual experience, what changes104,105 occur in the sufferer’s thinking which earlier we saw106 is the sufferer's “main problem”107?
Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.
[7] Based on his observations of the exceptions, how had Dr. Jung hoped to treat this fellow108?
In fact, I have been trying to produce some such emotional rearrangement within you.
[8a]2p What had been Dr. Jung's experience helping people quit who apparently could do so when suddenly they acquired a good reason109?
With many individuals the methods which I employed are successful,
[8b] But what was the Doctor’s experience with types like Rowland110 who could not quit no matter how good his reasons or how desperately he wanted to quit111?
but I have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description.*
* For Amplification—see Appendix II ("Spiritual Experience", page 569/5694th).
*See "Appendix II - Spiritual Experience."
Note to study leader: Consider shifting the study to the Q&A for Appendix II, Spiritual Experience. When complete, follow the link at the end of Appendix II back to this spot to resume the study here.
[1a]2p How did Dr. Jung’s news—that some recovered following a ”vital spiritual experience112"—affect our desperate friend Rowland, the American businessman.
Upon hearing this, our friend was somewhat relieved,
[1b] When he heard "vital spiritual experience", what did our friend assume it meant?
for he reflected after all, he was a good church member.
[2] In other words, if self-knowledge couldn’t fix our friend, how about religious knowledge113?
This hope, however, was destroyed by the doctor’s telling him that while his religious convictions were very good, in his case they did not spell the necessary vital spiritual experience.
[1a]2p After Dr. Jung told Rowland he had never seen anyone recover with a mind like his114,115 and that his religious knowledge wouldn't help him, where did Rowland find himself?
Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself
[1b] But if a "vital spiritual experience" was the only exception116, what must have happened for Rowland also to have helped Ebby find a "vital spiritual experience"117?
when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man.
[1] What did the authors of this book do later when they, too, were approached by cheery118 friends who had had "vital spiritual experiences"?
We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men.
[2a]2p What is often our first reaction to the God idea119,120,, the idea of a "vital spiritual experience"121,?
What seemed at first a flimsy reed,
[2b] What is proven by those who cling to the flimsy reed with the desperation of drowning men?
has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God.
[3a]3p What do we have now which we did not imagine would be part of the bargain?
A new life has been given us
[3b] What else can our “new life” be called?
or, if you prefer, "a design for living"
[3c] What makes this "design for living" different from all others we might have tried?
that really works.
[1] What seemed to be such an objective fact in those days that someone wrote a book about it?
The distinguished American psychologist, William James, in his book "Varieties of Religious Experience," indicates a multitude of ways in which men have discovered God.
[2] On the other hand, do we think we’re the only ones who can find faith in God that works122?
We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired.
[3a]2p What do we know for a fact because we’ve seen all races, creeds, and colors find such faith?
If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms
[3b] If no certain creed is required, then what is required123,124 for a new relationship with one’s Creator?
as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try.
[4] Do we seek to establish a particular religious view with our talk of a relationship with one’s Creator?
Those having religious affiliations will find here nothing disturbing to their beliefs or ceremonies.
[5] Does our talk of “our Creator”125 and “our Maker”126 provoke religious disputes among us?
There is no friction among us over such matters.
[1] Are members of this fellowship expected to join a particular religious body?
We think it no concern of ours what religious bodies our members identify themselves with as individuals.
[2-3]+2 Since this is not a religious program, personal affiliations with religious bodies are what?
This should be an entirely personal affair which each one decides for himself in the light of past associations, or his present choice.
Not all of us join religious bodies, but most of us favor such memberships.
[1a]2p What will the authors have us look at in the next chapter?
In the following chapter, there appears an explanation of alcoholism, as we understand it,
[1b] And then, since many of us once had difficulty with “the God idea”127, what follows?
then a chapter addressed to the agnostic.
[2] Have some joined our fellowship who once doubted whether God could ever be the solution?
Many who once were in this class are now among our members.
[3] Do such doubts seem to keep people from forming vital new relationships with their Creator?
Surprisingly enough, we find such convictions no great obstacle to a spiritual experience.
[1] Following the two chapters just mentioned, what do the remaining seven chapters provide?
Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered.
[2] Where can we find real-life examples of recovered persons who once considered themselves hopeless?
These are followed by three dozen* personal experiences.
* Please see note in next paragraph.
[1] What was the nature of the twenty-nine personal stories published in the First Edition?
Each individual, in the personal stories*, describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with God.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[2] What may we learn from the personal stories particularly those of the first edition?
These give a fair cross section of our membership and a clear-cut idea of what has actually happened in their lives.
[1] What do we hope readers will not conclude about these stories?
We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts in bad taste.
[2] What do we hope our self-revealing accounts will do for many who think they are hopeless128?
Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, "Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing."
[1] Even if we're desperate to be free of our main problem1—the "subtle insanity"2,3—what is difficult to admit?
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics.
[2] Why is it so difficult to admit we have little control over our own thinking4,5?
No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.
[3] When we see others getting the elusive effect6 we want, what do we seem determined to do?
Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people.
[4] How might our vain attempts to be like other people distort our whole outlook on life?
The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.
[5] What keeps us trying again and again, "if they can do it, I can do it"?
The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.
[6] Where can this illusion: “I like the effect; I'll find a way to manage7 it…” finally take us?
Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
[1] When we continue to suffer consequences we can no longer tolerate8, what must we admit?
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics.
[2] Facing the fact that we’re not like other people is what?
This is the first step in recovery.
[3] What has to happen to the idea we can do anything we see others doing—with the same impunity we think they have9?
The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
[1] How are we different from people who can do things which cause nothing but trouble for us10,11?
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking.
[2] What do we know only after we discover we have a habit we cannot break12?
We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control.
[3a]3p What are we always sure of right to the moment our insanity13 says, "It won’t burn me this time."14?
All of us felt at times that we were regaining control,
[3b] Due to the "insidious insanity"15,16 of the malady17, what inevitably happens?
but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control,
[3c] Where will our inability to control our own thinking and action eventually take us?
which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
[4] In Chapter Two, we learned this loss of control is an illness18—what kind of illness is it?
We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness.
[5] What stone cold reality do the authors wish to emphasize by calling it a “progressive” illness?
Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
[1a]2p When gripped by such illness, what are our chances of regaining sanity on our own?
We are like men who have lost their legs;
[1b] How is regaining one’s ability to think sanely about as likely as growing new legs?
they never grow new ones.
[2] What did Bill19, Rowland20, and Dr. Bob21 learn about the various methods they tried which were designed to restore sanity?
Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men.
[3] When bosses, wives, well-meaning people said, "Try this!", "Try that!", what did we do?
We have tried every imaginable remedy.
[4a]2p Did some remedies seem to help for a while?
In some instances there has been brief recovery,
[4b] But what happens every time we think, “At last! This new remedy will solve my problem”?
followed always by a still worse relapse.
[5] What did physicians Silkworth22, Jung23, and others24 who treated the illness agree on?
Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic.
[6] If we don’t think the spiritual solution25 will work, we can hope science will do so, right?
Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.*
* Written in 1939; now it is jsCurrentYearYYYY and—(drumroll)—this still hasn't happened. (Hint: it's a spiritual malady!)
[1] How stuck are we (...like Bill...)26 on the idea this illness27 is not beyond our control?
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class.
[2] To what lengths do we go to convince ourselves we don't have a problem28?
By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic.
[3] How rare would it be for one of us to “cut back”29 once we’ve begun to show the malady’s most basic symptom—lost control?
If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him.
[4] And again, instead of admitting the problem, what do we do to prove we don’t have a problem30?
Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
[1a]2p What are some methods we thought would prove we were perfectly “normal”31?
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums—
[1b] Is this a complete list or just a sampler of our insanity32,33,34?
we could increase the list ad infinitum.
[1a]2p Should it be our practice to tell someone they are insane?
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic,
[1b] Who is the only person who can make this diagnosis?
but you can quickly diagnose yourself.
[2] What suggestion might help someone diagnose himself?
Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking.
[3] Has this suggestion all by itself helped many a person to see a) whether they really want to quit and b) whether they even can quit or not?
Try to drink and stop abruptly.
[4] What do we say to someone who believes this is an easy test?
Try it more than once.
[5a]2p How long should it take for this test to yield results—positive or negative?
It will not take long for you to decide,
[5b] What one thing can prevent this little test from becoming a long, tedious process35?
if you are honest with yourself about it.
[6] What’s it worth to find out whether we can walk away abruptly every time—or not36?
It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
[1-2]+2 Does there seem to be a curious, inverse link between one’s ability to quit and one’s desire to quit?
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking.
But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time.
[3] Can someone—who may not realize he is actually “hopeless” but is motivated by ambition or pride—appear to quit, rack up time, and collect a drawer full of annual medallions?
We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so.
* Note to study leader: As an option stop here—read the next question with the next paragraphs.
[4] Do we have an example of this, of someone who stayed on guard for years not realizing his actual hopelessness?
Here is one.
[1] What kind of habit had this young man already developed by age thirty?
A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking.
[2a]2p What kind of trouble was he having?
He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts
[2b] Believing hangovers to be the “main problem”37, how did he handle the physical, mental, and emotional aftermath of these sprees?
and quieted himself with more liquor.
[3a]2p What seems to have been more important to the young man than anything else?
He was ambitious to succeed in business,
[3b] What did he somehow see was a career-busting threat to his career aspirations?
but saw that he would get nowhere if he drank at all.
[4] He seems to have developed his own “Three Step” program—in Step One, what did he think was his main problem?
Once he started, he had no control whatever.
[5a]2p His Step Three was based on his Step Two—but first, what was his Step Three decision?
He made up his mind
[5b] What then was his version of Step Two—what had he come to believe was the solution?
that until he had been successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another drop.
[6] How well did the young fellow’s Three-Step program work for many years?
An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career.
[7] Was his problem that he couldn’t stop once he started because of an “allergy”38,39? Or was his real problem that his thinking40 convinced him he could start again no problem: “It won’t burn me this time!”41?
Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has—that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men.
[8] So, with a firm belief that he could start again no problem, how did our friend put his "faith" into action?
Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle.
[9] What was the immediate result of the poor fellow’s—call it what you will—insanity42,43?
In two months he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated.
[10a]2p Unwilling to admit he couldn’t control and enjoy it like others44, what did he do?
He tried to regulate his drinking for a while,
[10b] Where did pursuit of this illusion45 take him?
making several trips to the hospital meantime.
[11a]2p Remembering the “Three Step” program that had worked so well before, what did he do?
Then, gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop altogether
[11b] Without the strong ambition which motivated him before, what happened?
and found he could not.
[12] What resources did he then throw at the problem?
Every means of solving his problem which money could buy was at his disposal.
[13] Did he every find a treatment which would protect him from his own thinking46?
Every attempt failed.
[14a]2p What was the fellow’s condition at age 55 after twenty-five years of not drinking?
Though a robust man at retirement,
[14b] But due to the stone cold reality of his complete inability to quit no matter how much he wanted47,, what happened to the poor guy48?
he went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years.
[1] Why do the authors include this man’s unfortunate story here?
This case contains a powerful lesson.
[2] When we believed our main problem was anything but a hopeless spiritual malady49,50, what else did we often believe?
Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally.
[3] What reality51 gripped the fellow when at last he did just what he’d wanted to do for twenty-five years?
But here is a man who at fifty-five years found he was just where he had left off at thirty.
[4] What is true for any of us with an illness52 that corrupts our thinking53 and makes our own thinking our main problem54,?
We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic."
[5] What rule is proven by countless demonstrations55 of this grim reality?
Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever.
[6] For the person who wants to quit “for good and all”56, the lesson of this story is what?
If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.
[1] How may one person’s apparent ability to quit become another person’s reason not to quit57?
Young people may be encouraged by this man’s experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own will power.
[2a]3p Of people who think they can quit later, how many will be able to do so?
We doubt if many of them can do it,
[2b] What seems to be true for any of us whose “main problem”58, is our own thinking59?
because none will really want to stop,
[2c] Which comes first—the habit we can’t break60, the “peculiar mental twist”61,62, or both?
and hardly one of them, because of the peculiar mental twist already acquired, will find he can win out.
[3] What do people discover—young, old, male, female—who have this peculiar mental twist?
Several of our crowd, men of thirty or less, had been drinking only a few years, but they found themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years.
[1a]2p Does an inability to “leave it alone” depend on how long we’ve had the habit?
To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time
[1b] Does an inability to "leave it alone" depend on the amount or the frequency of our habit?
nor take the quantities some of us have.
[2] What group of afflicted persons did the authors believe showed the cause is neither length of time nor quantities?
This is particularly true of women.
[3] How are women who show signs of the malady exactly like men who show signs of the malady?
Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years.
[4] Especially when we think we're managing our symptoms—"Quite well, thank you!"—what are we suddenly astonished to discover?
Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop.
[5] What can some of us—trapped in the habit from an early age—clearly see in young people?
We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere.
[6] What is true for anybody—young or old, male or female, rich or poor—really anybody?
But try and get them to see it!*
* True when this book was first published. Today A.A. has many young members.
*[7] In 1939, did it seem impossible to reach young people who showed symptoms of the malady?
* True when this book was first published. Today A.A. has many young members.
[1] Since we didn’t want to quit63 when it might have been possible, what happened?
As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power.
[2] What’s another64 simple way someone can find out if they’ve gone past the point of quitting on their own will power65,66?
If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year.
[3] What does anyone afflicted with the insanity67 already know deep down inside?
If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success.
[4a]2p But wait! Did some of us test ourselves this way—without consciously realizing it?
In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more,
[4b] Since that may have been our insanity already working on us and “proving” we could quit any time, what did we inevitably do later without any worries?
becoming serious drinkers again later.
[5] As a matter of fact, could taking this test do us more harm than good—if we pass it?!
Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic.
[6] Here’s an interesting test—what might it mean if this book appeals to us because we see it reveals both our subtle insanity68 and the solution for it69,70 that we are desperate to find?
We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year.
[7] What most likely happens if we don’t understand our main problem71, the real problem72 we face?
Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.
[1] For someone who knows73 he has lost control74,75, what is the question76,?
For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether.
[2] Who is most likely to see the answer to this question as being vitally important77?
We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop.
[3] Recovery by conventional medical78, psychological79,80 or religious81 methods depend on the patient's what?
Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not.
[4] Is the loss of our “power to choose” necessarily due to low morals or poor character?
Many of us felt that we had plenty of character.
[5] Is our "real" problem that we do not honestly, truly want to quit?
There was a tremendous urge to cease forever.
[6] Despite having good character and tremendous desire, what are we shocked to discover?
Yet we found it impossible.
[7a]2p The fact that we couldn’t quit despite every effort is what?
This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—
[7b] What can cause people to lose all hope82,83,84,85?
this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.
[1] As the First 100 eagerly sought ways to help newcomers86, what did they ask themselves?
How then shall we help our readers determine, to their own satisfaction, whether they are one of us?
[2a]3p Can a person know they are "one of us" if they cannot quit for a year, much less a week or two?
The experiment of quitting for a period of time will be helpful,
[2b] Do the authors suggest there is a better way someone can know if they are “one of us”?
but we think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic sufferers
[2c] Who else might like a better way to know87,88 whether someone is an impossible case89?
and perhaps to the medical fraternity.
[3a]2p What will help us see our condition better than the experiment of quitting for a year90?
So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking,
[3b] What?! Are the authors suggesting our problem is our thinking, that there’s something wrong with our thinking91?!
for obviously this is the crux of the problem.
* Webster's 1937 "crux": A crucial or critical point.
[1] If we experience disaster almost every time we "succumb to the desire"92...and we could avoid such trouble by simply abstaining—yet we do it again and again—what is going on?
What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink?
[2-3]+2 Honestly, what else could our inability to leave it alone be—if not plain insanity93?
Friends who have reasoned with him after a spree which has brought him to the point of divorce or bankruptcy are mystified when he walks directly into a saloon.
Why does he?
[4] Then (again) what is our main problem94, the storm center where the terrible cycle is set in motion95?
Of what is he thinking?
[1] Whose personal story is presented here to demonstrate this illness96 of subtle insanity97?
Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim.
[2-7]+6 Was Jim the kind of person we typically think of as being dishonest or insane?
This man has a charming wife and family.
He inherited a lucrative automobile agency.
He had a commendable World War record.
He is a good salesman.
Everybody likes him.
He is an intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for a nervous disposition.
[8] When did Jim begin the habit which he eventually discovered he could not break98?
He did no drinking until he was thirty-five.
[9] What began to happen to Jim which made his family realize he had a serious problem?
In a few years he became so violent when intoxicated that he had to be committed.
[10] How might the early fellowship's outreach to doctors, ministers, priests, and hospitals99 have attracted Jim?
On leaving the asylum he came into contact with us.
[1] What did a few of the fellows who visited Jim talk to him about?
We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found.
[2] Did Jim seem to believe that working at the steps would keep him sober?
He made a beginning.
[3] What was his family and employer’s reaction to his telling them he had "begun a program"?
His family was re-assembled, and he began to work as a salesman for the business he had lost through drinking.
[4] But did he really take Steps 1, 2, and 3100, did he grab onto the Steps like a “drowning man”101,102?
All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life.
[5] Apparently forgetting the cunning103 and powerful104 features of his foe, what did Jim find baffling105?
To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession.
[6a]2p How often did Jim keep calling his sponsors, the friends106 who always talked to him about finding “a Power greater than himself”107,108?
On each of these occasions
[6b] After each “slip”, as long as Jim called them, what did these friends continue to do?
we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened.
[7] Which step did they apparently talk with him about on this occasion? (...Hint: Step One109...)
He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a serious condition.
[8-9]+2 Did Jim agree that his life was unmanageable—or rather...that it would be unmanageable if he kept on?
He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on.
Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he had a deep affection.
[1] Despite a "Step One review" with his sponsors and having excellent reasons to quit, what happened?
Yet he got drunk again.
[2] Trying to help Jim face the facts about his problem110, what did his sponsors do?
We asked him to tell us exactly how it happened.
[3] And what did Jim say happened?
This is his story: "I came to work on Tuesday morning.
[4] Since Jim hadn’t enlarged his spiritual life111, what did he not notice had "cropped up"112?
I remember I felt irritated that I had to be a salesman for a concern I once owned.
[5a]2p Irritated, angry, and with a bit of self-pity, what did he exchange with the boss?
I had a few words with the boss,
[5b] Instead of honestly admitting irritation and self-pity to himself, how did Jim’s malady of "twisted thinking"113 describe his words with the boss?
but nothing serious.
[6] Unaware now of literally being "driven"114 by resentment and self-pity, what did Jim do?
Then I decided to drive into the country and see one of my prospects for a car.
[7a]2p So, off to pursue a sale! But his brain—now his worst enemy—subtlety suggested what?
On the way I felt hungry
[7b] And where did his brain suggest he go to for a quick bite to eat?
so I stopped at a roadside place where they have a bar.
[8] What tells us the cunning twisted thinking of the illness—kept its plan for relapse hidden from Jim?
I had no intention of drinking.
[9] With nothing but the best of intentions, what did Jim tell himself he planned to do?
I just thought I would get a sandwich.
[10a]2p What else did his brain suggest which made stopping at this bar sound like a great idea?
I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car at this place,
[10b] And what else suggested going to this bar in a state of irritation was a sound idea?
which was familiar for I had been going to it for years.
[11] How long had Jim’s shaky115 brain been setting him up for this moment?
I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober.
[12-14]+3 Unaware how his insane thinking had set him up—step by step—what did he do?
I sat down at a table and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk.
Still no thought of drinking.
I ordered another sandwich and decided to have another glass of milk.
[1] When did the "subtle insanity"116—till now cloaked in irritation and self-pity—finally reveal itself to Jim?
"Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn’t hurt me on a full stomach.
[2] What sort of experiment did Jim conduct to test his new whisky rehabilitation hypothesis?
I ordered a whiskey and poured it into the milk.
[3a]2p Did Jim’s discontent117 keep him from hearing the still small voice of his "better self"118?
I vaguely sensed I was not being any too smart,
[3b] What did the one side of Jim’s brain which regularly sells hogwash successfully peddle to the side of his brain which when unprotected from the malady readily buys hogwash?
but felt reassured as I was taking the whiskey on a full stomach.
[4] Did Jim perhaps see himself ready to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for this amazing discovery?
The experiment went so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk.
[5] Could he also see himself receiving an honorary degree—and maybe even a book tour?
That didn’t seem to bother me so I tried another."
[1] Where did Jim’s revolutionary, desperate—and insane—experiment take him…again?
Thus started one more journey to the asylum for Jim.
[2a]2p Didn't Jim have good reasons to avoid this desperate debacle at all costs?
Here was the threat of commitment, the loss of family and position,
[2b] What did Jim already know of the suffering and remorse which were sure to follow?
to say nothing of that intense mental and physical suffering which drinking always caused him.
[3] Hadn’t Jim "made a beginning" and hadn't he already agreed he had a "real"119 problem?
He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic.
[4] Wasn’t Jim’s real problem his own thinking120,, his “utter inability”121 to control his thinking122?
Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!
[1] What word best describes Jim’s thinking at the moment he devised the milk experiment?
Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity.
[2] Isn’t “insanity” kind of strong? Why do the authors pick that word?
How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else?
[1] Is Jim’s story a rare case of someone completely losing their mind like this?
You may think this an extreme case.
[2a]2p Did the first 100 think Jim’s story was simply too “insane” to be believable?
To us it is not far-fetched,
[2b] To the first 100, why did Jim’s thinking and behavior seem not at all far-fetched?
for this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us.
[3] But maybe we believe our own thinking has been less insane than Jim’s, so we’re OK?
We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences.
[4] Even when we consider the consequences, what kind of thinking123,124 still plagues "every single one of us"?
But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink.
[5] Once again—what is our “main problem”125?
Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check.
[6] When lack of power is our dilemma126, what always happens?
The insane idea won out.
[7] Every time such insanity takes us again to the "mad realm"127, what do we wonder?
Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened.
[1a]2p Once insanity really sets in, what do we sometimes do128?
In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk,
[1b] How can frustration, resentment, and self-pity make matters worse at times like this?
feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like.
[2] Does it appear that “twisted thinking”129 literally hijacks our will and lives130 to take us places and do things we’d never even consider in our right minds?
But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened.
[3] When do we see insanity begin to dominate our thinking—beyond our control131?
We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be.
[1] What does our behavior look like when insane ideas just routinely "win out"132?
Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jaywalking.
[2] Why do men and women jaywalk? (...Hint:“they like the effect...”133)
He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles.
[3a]2p What is the "elusive sensation" jaywalkers like134?
He enjoys himself for a few years
[3b] Are the warnings of friends and family of any help to a "real"135 jaywalker?
in spite of friendly warnings.
[4] So long as he "enjoys himself" and suffers no major consequences, what do most poeple think?
Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun.
* Webster’s 1937 "queer": Differing in some odd way; peculiar—Syn. See "strange".
[5] What will surely happen if he keeps dashing across busy roads in fast moving traffic?
Luck then deserts him and he is slightly injured several times in succession.
[6] What would he do if he didn’t have an illness136,137 that dominates his rational thinking138?
You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out.
[7] What will happen yet again because "sound reasoning fails to hold us check"139?
Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull.
[8] Bent on proving he can control and enjoy140 jaywalking like other people141,142, what happens?
Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm.
[9a]2p How do we know when he becomes a “Type 2” jaywalker, one who “wants to want”143 to stop?
He tells you he has decided to stop jaywalking for good,
[9b] But, since “wanting to want to stop” is not the same as wanting to stop144, what happens?
but in a few weeks he breaks both legs.
[1] The repetition of this cycle—spree, remorse, and firm resolution—followed by relapse145—look like what?
On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep off the streets altogether.
[2a]2p What clearly indicates the jaywalker’s shift from a Type 2 to a Type 3 jaywalker146,147?
Finally, he can no longer work,
[2b] Years of living with a jaywalker would make almost any spouse148 do what?
his wife gets a divorce
[2c] People149 who don’t have a jaywalking problem then proceed to do what?
and he is held up to ridicule.
[3] How does the desperate150 jaywalker try to use willpower and self-effort at first to solve the problem?
He tries every known means to get the jaywalking idea out of his head.
[4] When willpower and self-effort don’t work, what does the poor fellow do that confirms he has become a Type 4151,152 jaywalker?
He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways.
[5] What happens to every jaywalker who simply cannot quit no matter what he tries153?
But the day he comes out he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back.
[6] Does any word more aptly describe someone who has lost control of his thinking and behavior154 than this one?
Such a man would be crazy, wouldn’t he?
[1-2]+2 Someone who doesn’t have a jaywalking problem might think what of this story?
You may think our illustration is too ridiculous.
But is it?
[3] What do we think who have experienced this complete inability to quit a cycle155 of destruction156 no matter how much we wanted and no matter what we tried?
We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jaywalking, the illustration would fit us exactly.
[4] Whatever157, our symptoms158, how is our “craziness”159, our inability to quit such insanity160 no matter how great our desire161, exactly like the jaywalker’s?
However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane.
[5a]2p Wait! How dare we call ourselves insane?!
It’s strong language—
[5b] Not me! I’m not insane! Am I??
but isn’t it true?
[1] Hoping to sound sensible rather than...the other thing...what might we say instead of "Not me! I’m not insane"?
Some of you are thinking: "Yes, what you tell us is true, but it doesn’t fully apply.
[2a]2p Do we sometimes go whistling in the dark—a tune something like this one162:
We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to,
[2b] What do most of us count on163 at first to keep us from the malady's hopeless insanity164?
for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again.
[3] When we’re trying to control it on our own, how good a job are we just positive we’re doing?
We have not lost everything in life through drinking and we certainly do not intend to.
[4] And while still whistling in the dark this even more famous tune, “I’m FINE!“—how do we express our gratitude to those who would help?
Thanks for the information.
[1a]2p Who might be able to quit on the basis of self-knowledge?
That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate,
[1b] What does irrational thinking and destructive behavior do to brains and bodies165,166?
because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were.
[2] What sets us apart from these normal types who can think rationally and stick to decisions?
But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge.
[3] This fact—that we are unable to quit despite self-knowledge, fine character, and strong desire—is how important?
This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.
* Note to study leader: As an option stop here—read the next question with the next paragraph.
[4] What else now can help smash the delusion167 that we are like normal people?
Let us take another illustration.
[1] Whose personal story is told to drive home the fact that the illness168 cannot be overcome by willpower169, self-knowledge170, good character171, sound reason172, or strong desire173?
Fred is partner in a well known accounting firm.
[2-5]+4 Was Fred the kind of person we’d normally consider to be prone to insanity?
His income is good, he has a fine home, is happily married and the father of promising children of college age.
He has so attractive a personality that he makes friends with everyone.
If ever there was a successful business man, it is Fred.
To all appearance he is a stable, well balanced individual.
[6] What plagued Fred in spite of proven will power, fine character and excellent reasoning ability?
Yet, he is alcoholic.
[7a]2p Who came to visit Fred maybe in about 1937?
We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital
[7b] How might early fellowship outreach to doctors, ministers, priests, and hospitals174 have found Fred?
where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters.
[8a]2p Had Fred ever been to the hospital for "jitters" before?
It was his first experience of this kind,
[8b] How happy was Fred to have two strangers drop by to talk about his “jitters”?
and he was much ashamed of it.
[9a]2p What was Fred’s state of mind when his new friends arrived?
Far from admitting he was an alcoholic,
[9b] How do we know Fred was in the grip of an illness that convinces us we’re not ill?
he told himself he came to the hospital to rest his nerves.
[10] Was his doctor "loath to tell [Fred] the whole story"175—that he was probably hopeless?
The doctor intimated strongly that he might be worse than he realized.
[11] How did Fred feel about the doctor’s vague but ominous warning?
For a few days he was depressed about his condition.
[12] Fred apparently concluded that his main problem176 was his nerves—and that, since drinking caused the trouble with his nerves, the sensible thing would be to do what?
He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether.
[13a] But since Fred didn’t yet know the nature of his real problem177, what did not occur to him?
It never occurred to him that perhaps he could not do so,
[13b] What gave Fred complete confidence he could quit?
in spite of his character and standing.
[14a]2p Did Fred yet realize he had an illness over which he had no control?
Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic,
[14b] What did Fred believe would not be necessary since he was sure he could control his own thinking178?
much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem.
[15] What did Fred’s visitors tell him they had learned from their sometimes funny, sometimes tragic personal experience179?
We told him what we knew about alcoholism.
[16a]3p Nevertheless, how did Fred react to their struggles180 and the strange mental twist181?
He was interested
[16b] More importantly, did Fred see himself in their personal stories?
and conceded that he had some of the symptoms,
[16c] How did Fred’s confidence in will power, good character, and sound reason prevent him from admitting his real dilemma182?
but he was a long way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself.
[17] After "thanking them for the information"183, Fred certain he could do what?
He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life.
[18] What did Fred believe he could rely upon to prevent the subtle insanity184 his visitors described185?
Self-knowledge would fix it.
[1] Since Fred didn’t respond at once, did some determined members of the fellowship keep “chasing” him186?
We heard no more of Fred for a while.
[2] But what did somebody–maybe his family–do after waiting for Fred to finish another spree187?
One day we were told that he was back in the hospital.
[3] Fred had been sure “Self-knowledge would fix it.”188,189 How’d that work out for him?
This time he was quite shaky.
[4] What indicated to Fred’s visitors that he might have completed Step One190,191,192,193?
He soon indicated he was anxious to see us.
[5a]2p What makes this next part of Fred’s story important?
The story he told is most instructive,
[5b] How does Fred’s story help illustrate the baffling194,195 nature of the illness?
for here was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless.
[1a]2p In their first visit with Fred196, what did those early members of the AA fellowship talk about?
Let him tell you about it: "I was much impressed with what you fellows said about alcoholism,
[1b] Based on the knowledge he gained from them and his confidence in his will power, what had Fred come to believe197?
and I frankly did not believe it would be possible for me to drink again.
[2a]2p From that first visit, what did Fred remember his visitors saying about the main problem198 of the illness199,?
I rather appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink,
[2b] Despite the awareness of the cunning insanity he had gained from them200,201, what had that insanity already seemed to suggest to him?
but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I had learned.
[3] What else did Fred say which suggested the subtle insanity had been running a scam on him...the whole time?
I reasoned I was not so far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and that I would therefore be successful where you men failed.
[4] How confident had Fred been in his ability to spot insane thinking and simpley reject it?
I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it would be only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard.
[1a]2p Since Fred’s sobriety program was based on “self”202, what seemed normal and important?
"In this frame of mind, I went about my business
[1b] How did things proceed for Fred...for a time?
and for a time all was well.
[2a]2p What reinforced Fred’s belief that sobriety was just a diligent exercise of will power?
I had no trouble refusing drinks,
[2b] What was yet another thought that showed Fred’s subtle insanity had not disappeared?
and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter.
[3] Where was Fred sent one day on what should have been a routine business trip?
One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau.
[4] Maybe the reason Fred relapsed was because he was doing something new in a new big city?
I had been out of town before during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about that.
[5] Maybe he relapsed because he was weary from a long trip or had some other illness or injury?
Physically, I felt fine.
[6] Maybe he and his wife had argued or his mortgage was overdue?
Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries.
[7] Maybe, like Bill W in Akron203, his work in Washington had ended in complete disaster?
My business came off well, I was pleased and knew my partners would be too.
[8] Maybe the weather was cold, windy, dark, dreary, and/or rainy?
It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon.
[1] At the end the day’s work, did Fred begin to look around to see what he could do to help others204?
"I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner.
[2] What did the subtle insanity suddenly suggest which Fred thought was an excellent idea?
As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner.
[3-4]+2 Did Fred have any misgivings, even a "vague sense of being none too smart"205?
That was all.
Nothing more.
[5] It was a good thing Fred remembered staying sober was only a matter of exercising will power and keeping on guard206, right?
I ordered a cocktail and my meal.
[6] Yikes! Surely Fred would remember now that his nerves were his “main problem”—and that he’d made up his mind to “quit drinking altogether” to protect his nerves—right???
Then I ordered another cocktail.
[7] Had it yet dawned on Fred what just happened?
After dinner I decided to take a walk.
[8] Who was running Fred’s show now, his rational, thoughtful self or his hopeless, insane self?
When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one.
[9] Was there any chance at this point that Fred would cease this complete insanity?
I remember having several more that night and plenty next morning.
[10-12]+3 What else does Fred vaguely remember about this totally uncorked binge?
I have a shadowy recollection of being in an airplane bound for New York, and of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife.
The driver escorted me about for several days.
I know little of where I went or what I said and did.
[13] With another bad case of “jitters”207, where did Fred find himself—again?
Then came the hospital with unbearable mental and physical suffering.
[1a]2p Though he regained it, what had Fred completely lost before that first drink?
"As soon as I regained my ability to think,
[1b] After coming to his right mind208, what did he do?
I went carefully over that evening in Washington.
[2] What happened to Fred’s (almost) sure-fire plan to keep on guard and exercise will power209?
...Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against the first drink.
[3] With his dashboard flashing, “Oil Low!”, “Engine Overheating!” did Fred choose to ignore their warnings—OR—had he forgotten they had any meaning or purpose...at all?
This time I had not thought of the consequences at all.
[4] After months of saying "No" to drinks—so often that it seemed routine—what happened?
I had commenced to drink as carelessly as though the cocktails were ginger ale.
[5] For we who are afflicted with this “subtle insanity”210—which shows many kinds211 of ruinous symptoms212,213,214 and where sound reasoning does not hold us in check215—what will happen?
I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come—I would drink again.
[6] Even when a person plans to watch for the insane idea and reject it, what will happen?
They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink.
[7] Even when a person knows they are prone to this kind of thinking, what will happen?
Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all.
[8] What had his visitors thus helped Fred to "determine to his own satisfaction"216?
I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind.
[9] What happened to Fred’s belief217, he could defeat the insanity on his own218, by himself219?
I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots.
[10] What had Fred once believed about the poor sots who couldn’t manage their own lives?
I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated.
[11-12]+2 What did Fred then understand about being defeated by his own thinking220?
I knew then.
It was a crushing blow.
[1] Who was still willing to help Fred as he lay “quite shaky”221 again in the hospital?
"Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to see me.
[2a]2p What did these two fellows—who, like Fred, had “been-there-and-done-that”—do when they saw him again?
They grinned, which I didn’t like so much,
[2b] But first, how did the two fellows make sure Fred was "ready"222 for the spiritual solution223,224 they offered?
and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time.
[3] What did Fred realize was all too true?
I had to concede both propositions.
[4] Suspecting Fred still believed he must somehow find a way to fix himself, what did the visitors do?
They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition.
[5] How did their emphasis on the hopelessness of the malady225 help Fred admit his real problem226—his inability to control his own thinking227?
This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself.
[1] Only when they saw Fred admit to himself228 that his own power wasn't enough229, what did they do?
"Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully.
[2a]2p What were Fred’s “religious leanings”230?
"Though I had been only a nominal churchman,
[2b] Given Fred’s religious background,231 how did the fellows talk about God and faith?
their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow.
[3] Was Fred a bit shocked by the requirements of the healing process232,233,234?
"But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic.
[4] What would Fred235 have to do with some old ideas he had about what faith really means236?
"It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window.
[5] So apparently Fred was secure in his long-held faith—but putting it to work237 was what?
"That was not easy.
[6] Is return of sanity only a matter of being willing to believe238, or does it also require the willingness to do the work239?
"But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be."
[1] “Going through the process”240 led Fred to establish “a new relationship with his Creator”241, which in turn relieved his condition of “subtle insanity”242,243—what did Fred say was a real bonus of putting those very same principles to work in all areas of his life244,245?
"Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems.
[2] What has the process which Fred once called “drastic”246,247 has done for him?
"I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.
[3a]2p What does Fred still think of his old life with its good income, fine home, happy marriage and great kids248?
"My old manner of life was by no means a bad one,
[3b] Surely there were some really great moments in Fred’s old life he would enjoy again?
but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now.
[4] Does Fred really prefer his new life of usefulness over the very best moments of his old life?
"I would not go back to it even if I could."
[1] Does Fred’s story need some additional authentication for its message to be convincing249?
Fred’s story speaks for itself.
[2] Why did the authors include Fred’s story of subtle insanity250,251,252 and the solution he found253?
We hope it strikes home to thousands like him.
[3] Did Fred have to be run through the entire wringer before adopting a spiritual way of living?
He had felt only the first nip of the wringer.
[4] But what do most of us seem to insist upon before we accept spiritual help254?
Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems.
[1] What do many physicians think of the subtle “insanity”255 which ailed Fred?
Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions.
[2-3]+2 How did one physician256 describe his experience with many of us who were thus afflicted?
One of these men, staff member of a world renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: "What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic’s plight is, in my opinion, correct.
As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help.
[4] When he could, what did this physician do when patients appeared who desperately wanted help but who seemed beyond human aide257?
Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it.
[5] Why did the doctor not want to offer medical or psychological methods to such hopeless types?
People like you are too heartbreaking.
[6] Had this physician apparently seen the spiritual approach remove the subtle insanity in some cases?
Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours.
[7] For those then who are unable to manage their own thinking258, the spiritual approach259 is what?
For most cases, there is virtually no other solution."
[1] Here again, what do the authors say about "exercising will power and keeping on guard"260?
Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink.
[2] What kind of spot is someone in whose own thinking places them beyond human aid261?
Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense.
[3] Where can a person find help who has already tried every imaginable262 remedy?
His defense must come from a Higher Power.
[1] What manifestation of this illness1 have we read about so far?
In the preceding chapters you have learned something of alcoholism.
[2] How does this book distinguish between people afflicted with the “subtle insanity”2,3,4,5 verses those who are not?
We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic.
[3a]2p Summing up Chapters 2 and 3, what two tests will tell us whether we have an illness over which we have absolutely no control?
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take,
[3b] If either or both of these tests apply, what may we safely conclude?
you are probably alcoholic.
[4a]2p Such powerlessness may be a symptom of what?
If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness
[4b] What is both the bad news and the good news about this kind of illness?
which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
[1a]3p Why is this bad news for some of us–that only a spiritual experience6, will conquer the subtle insanity just described?
To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible,
[1b] In spite of such reluctance7,8, what may motivate us to consider a spiritual solution anyway9?
but to continue as he is means disaster,
[1c] If we have tried every imaginable10 remedy, what might we conclude about our condition11,12?
especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety.
[2a]2p What are our stark choices if our own thinking13 is our worst enemy?
To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis
[2b] For someone who can’t imagine life on a spiritual basis14, how dismal are these choices?
are not always easy alternatives to face.
[1] But if our present basis15,16,17,18 seems hopeless19, how difficult is choosing a spiritual basis?
But it isn’t so difficult.
[2] How many of the first 100 were once convinced a spiritual solution was impossible20?
About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type.
[3a]2p How, at first, might we try to handle this impossible choice—a spiritual basis or doom?
At first some of us tried to avoid the issue,
[3b] Desperate for any kind of hope, what will be the utterly false hope of our own thinking?
hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics.
[4] Finally, when this and every other such hope fails21, what cannot be avoided22?
But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life—or else.
[5] Who is the only person who can choose to face this dilemma23?
Perhaps it is going to be that way with you.
[6] How many of us thought we had long ago24 rejected25 the “flimsy reed”26 God idea27,28?
But cheer up, something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics.
[7] The fact that many of us chose29 a spiritual basis—and lived to tell about it30—shows what?
Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted.
[1a]2p What do experts31 and non-sufferers32 think is the practical solution to our problem?
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism,
[1b] What if, when tempted by crazy thinking33, we could instead choose to do the morally or logically sane thing?
many of us would have recovered long ago.
[2] But did living by moral or logical ideals solve our real problem, the “peculiar mental twist”34,35?
But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried.
[3] Why have our efforts to live by sound moral or logical ideals been inconsistent at best?
We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there.
[4] Why has every such effort always failed?
Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.
[1] If we lack the ability to make and keep rational36 choices37, what is the wretched dilemma we face?
Lack of power, that was our dilemma.
[2a]2p Once this dilemma confronts us, what are we desperate38 to find?
We had to find a power by which we could live,
[2b] Painfully aware that our human resources have "failed utterly"39,40, what now only makes sense?
and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.
[3] When this truth dawns with crystal clarity, what’s the only thing left to say?
Obviously.
[4] Now what question become all-important?
But where and how were we to find this Power?
[1] That’s the question alright—where do we look and how do we find a Power greater than our own by which to live41?
Well, that’s exactly what this book is about.
[2a]2p What is the main object of this Book through page 181 plus the First Ed. personal stories*?
Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[2b] What can we hope this Power will do42,43,44 —which we ourselves have been unable to do45?
which will solve your problem.
[3] Therefore, what sort of book is this?
That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral.
* Webster’s 1937 “spiritual”: Of the soul or its affections as influenced by the divine Spirit.
* Webster’s 1937 “moral”: Excellence in practice or conduct.
[4] What should we expect a spiritual and moral book to talk about—especially one written to solve seemingly hopeless46 living problems?
And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God.
[5] Why do many of us start hyperventilating when the word “God” is mentioned?
Here difficulty arises with agnostics.
Book implied definitions “agnosticism”:
1. a “form of intellectual pride which keeps one from accepting what is in this book”—Dr. Bob, see p. 181.
2. the vain belief that “human intelligence is the last word, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of all.”—see p. 49.
3. the idea that “self-sufficiency” as opposed to “God-sufficiency” will solve our problems, an idea similar in nature to the “proven” idea that the Wright Brothers would never fly.—see p.52.
[6] What often happens when someone hears our true stories of recovery and of the camaraderie47 of our fellowship?
Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship.
[7a]2p But then, what happens when we tell how we recovered by following spiritual48 principles?
But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God,
[7b] Why does our friend seem to lose hope the moment we mention the word "God"?
for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored.
[1] Did we ourselves also gulp when we saw this program is about forming a new relationship with our Creator49,50?
We know how he feels.
[2] Did many of us, like our friend, reject “the God idea”51—the idea of putting our lives into God’s hands52,53?
We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice.
[3] How did some of us react because we associated the word "God" with religious dogma54?
Some of us have been violently anti-religious.
[4a]2p Do some of us arrive here with ideas about God which made no sense to us?
To others, the word "God" brought up a particular idea of Him
[4b] When do many of us remember acquiring our first ideas about God?
with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood.
[5] What do we usually do with ideas “pressed on us” which seem to make no sense?
Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate.
[6] When we rejected a concept this way, what did some of us think we had irrevocably done?
With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely.
[7] What else might have troubled some of us about the whole “God idea”?
We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly.
[8a]3p Do we sometimes blame the “God idea” for conflicts of all kinds around the world?
We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems,
[8b] Do we sometimes blame the "God idea" for disasters of all kinds that seem horrific?
and inexplicable calamity,
[8c] What did we think of the idea that an all-powerful, loving God would allow such suffering?
with deep skepticism.
[9] Are we sometimes shocked by the behavior of people who act badly but claim only virtue?
We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly.
[10] What do we conclude when we see the universe just doesn’t operate the way we think it should?
How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all?
[11] Do we also imagine that if we do not understand such things, then neither can anyone else?
And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow?
[12] Yet in the wonder of life, do we intuitively grasp that there must be a Creative Intelligence?
Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, "Who, then, made all this?"
[13] Have we ever for a moment experienced the nearness of our Creator55?
There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost.
[1] Have any of the rest of us had these honest doubts or feelings of awe and wonder?
Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences.
[2] What can we say to anyone troubled by such thoughts?
Let us make haste to reassure you.
[3a]4p But, what does a healthy sense of impending doom56 make us ready to do?
We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice
[3b] What are we willing to do when our only choices are a) doom or b) a spiritual escape from doom57?
and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves,
[3c] What generally happens when we trust concepts that match up with actual reality58,59?
we commenced to get results,
[3d] Does willingness to believe mean we now understand everything about—for lack of a truer word—“God”60?
even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.
[1] From among all the convictions held by believers or agnostics or anybody else, whose concept of God should we adopt if we expect this program to work?
Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another’s conception of God.
[2] Just on the basis of what makes sense61,62 to each one of us personally, what can we do?
Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him.
[3a]2p What do we find when we let go of obstinacy63, touchiness64, and close-mindedness65?
As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction,
[3b] How do we keep and maintain66 this sense of power and direction—and see it grow67?
provided we took other simple steps.
[4] What else seems to be a part of the way God does things?
We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him.
[5] What does it mean to say God doesn’t make tough demands of us68?
To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek.
[6] Who can enter this "world of the Spirit"69 if they choose70?
It is open, we believe, to all men*.
* Webster’s 1937 "man": The human race; mankind; collectively all people.
[1] For this program to work, whose concept of God, not only should we—but must we—adopt?
When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God.
[2] What about terms like "faith", "humility", "courage", "willingness", "honesty" and others?
This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book.
[3a]2p And do we want to reconsider “old ideas”71,72 that may be getting in the way of our own conception—whatever it may be?
Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you
[3b] Based entirely on our own understanding—no matter how limited we think it is73—what can we do instead of sticking with some old ideas that haven’t worked74?
from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.
[4a]2p Asking ourselves what spiritual terms mean to us personally opens the door to what?
At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth,
[4b] What becomes possible as soon as we’re willing to let go of this icy mountain75 of old ideas?
to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him.
[5] And what happens when all the spiritual dots we find in these pages begin to connect?
Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach.
[6] What do we call it when we see some of these dots connect?
That was growth, but if we wished to grow we had to begin somewhere.
[7] But to get started—even if we think our own understanding is incomplete—what do we do?
So we used our own conception, however limited it was.
[1] If this all makes sense—that we have to find a Power76 by which we can live—or else!77—what do we need to ask ourselves?
We needed to ask ourselves but one short question.
[2] What question lies at the threshold of a new life free of the "subtle insanity"78,79,80—this "illness"81,82—which only a spiritual experience will conquer83?
"Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?"
[3] What can we tell someone who steps across this threshold84?
As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.
[4a]2p Belief or even the willingness to believe in a Power greater than oneself becomes what?
It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone
[4b] Once this cornerstone of belief—that God is85,86,87—is firmly fixed, what can be built?
a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.*
* Please be sure to read Appendix II on "Spiritual Experience".
* Please be sure to read Appendix II on "Spiritual Experience".
[1a]2p How good is the news that the spiritual life can be started on nothing more complicated than a belief in God’s power88,89 based solely on one’s own understanding of God90,91,92?
That was great news to us,
[1b] Why do we sometimes think the spiritual life must be more complicated than this?
for we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe.
[2-4]+3 Even when desperate to recover, how might old assumptions have blocked our way?
When people presented us with spiritual approaches, how frequently did we all say, "I wish I had what that man has.
I’m sure it would work if I could only believe as he believes.
But I cannot accept as surely true the many articles of faith which are so plain to him."
[5] What changed when we realized we could begin simply—with what made sense93 to us?
So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level.
[1a]2p Were we somehow convinced by our own assumptions—like the ones just mentioned94—that faith was out of reach for us?
Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith,
[1b] How else did we make the “God idea”95,96 more difficult on ourselves than it had to be?
we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice.
[2a]2p What do we mean when we say we were handicapped by "sensitiveness"?
Many of us have been so touchy
[2b] What do we mean when we say we are handicapped by stubbornness and “prejudice” (i.e., prejudgment)?
that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism.
[3] What can we do—but more importantly, what must we do—with stubborn, touchy, and closed-minded thinking?
This sort of thinking had to be abandoned.
[4] How hard is it—really—to abandon old thinking?
Though some of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings.
[5a]2p “Seriously?? No difficulty?!"—Well, except.... Would the authors please remind us what Step One is all about…?
Faced with alcoholic destruction,
[5b] How does looming destruction help us develop a genuine "willingness to believe"97,98?
we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions.
[6] How do terror, bewilderment, and frustration99 help us abandon obstinacy, touchiness, and unreasoning prejudice?
In this respect alcohol was a great persuader.
[7] What is truly persuasive about the merciless consequences100 which the subtle insanity101 regularly delivers us?
It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness.
[8a]2p What kind of process do we call this—this having prejudice, stubbornness and touchiness just mercilessly102 beaten out of us?
Sometimes this was a tedious process;
[8b] Is this something we would wish on anybody, even on our worst enemy?
we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were.
[1] Having reached a turning point103—thank you, "great persuader"104,105!—what might someone ask who still hasn’t decided106 which is worse: spiritual help or the bitter end107?!
The reader may still ask why he should believe in a Power greater than himself.
[2] Is Faith really a "blind leap"—a jump without a parachute—or are there good reasons to believe?
We think there are good reasons.
[3] What?! Faith...Reasonable? Really? What reasons are these and how convincing are they?
Let us have a look at some of them.
[1] What kind of evidence does a “good reason to believe” usually require?
The practical individual of today is a stickler for facts and results.
[2a]2p Despite our demand for facts and results, what do we readily accept?
Nevertheless, the twentieth century readily accepts theories of all kinds,
[2b] When are such theories not immediately dismissed as somebody's fantasy?
provided they are firmly grounded in fact.
[3] Can theories explaining things we can’t see or touch also be “grounded in fact”?
We have numerous theories, for example, about electricity.
[4] For example, how easily do we accept the theory that unseen flows of electrons power our lights?
Everybody believes them without a murmur of doubt.
[5] What’s a question almost no one asks about such theories?
Why this ready acceptance?
[6] Why is it easy to accept a theory of electron flows once we have flipped on a light switch?
Simply because it is impossible to explain what we see, feel, direct, and use, without a reasonable assumption as a starting point.
[1a]2p Beliefs and theories are considered sound and reasonable if they are based on what?
Everybody nowadays, believes in scores of assumptions for which there is good evidence,
[1b] What is not needed for a theory when it accurately explains the visible effects we see?
but no perfect visual proof.
[2-3] For example, what can we tell about the make-up of something simply by looking at it?
And does not science demonstrate that visual proof is the weakest proof?
It is being constantly revealed, as mankind studies the material world, that outward appearances are not inward reality at all.
To illustrate:
* Note to study leader: “To illustrate:” (below) is moved to the next paragraph only for the Q&A..
[1] What’s an example of an inward reality that doesn't match its outward appearance?
To illustrate:
The prosaic steel girder is a mass of electrons whirling around each other at incredible speed.
[2a]2p What do we believe keeps these electrons from flying in all directions?
These tiny bodies are governed by precise laws,
[2b] How do we know such laws exist and govern the material world entirely?
and these laws hold true throughout the material world.
[3] What do we call the method of observation and experiment that confirms these laws?
Science tells us so.
[4] Even though we have never seen—and never will see—the entire universe, why do we readily believe the entire universe is governed by such laws?
We have no reason to doubt it.
[5a]3p Does the existence of “precise laws” suggest a Creative Intelligence behind such precision?
When, however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested that underneath the material world and life as we see it, there is an All Powerful, Guiding, Creative Intelligence,
[5b] What might account for our reluctance to accept this very reasonable assumption?
right there our perverse* streak comes to the surface
* Webster’s 1937 "perverse": Obstinate in being wrong or doing wrong; willful, petulant.
[5c] What do we "ego-centric"108 actors who want to run the whole show109 think of this Creator idea?
and we laboriously set out to convince ourselves it isn’t so.
[6a]2p How do we convince ourselves that an intelligent creation needs no intelligent cause110?
We read wordy books and indulge in windy arguments,
[6b] To believe this unprovable negative, what must we first assume—without evidence?
thinking we believe this universe needs no God to explain it.
[7] What do we irrationally assume to be true and then try to prove to be true all at the same time?
Were our contentions true, it would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere.
[1a]3p Let's let the authors hammer this preceding point111 home with a couple of alternative views….
Instead of
[1b] How might we choose to regard ourselves if we assume the intelligent creation we see all around us has an Intelligent Creator112?
regarding ourselves as intelligent agents, spearheads of God’s ever advancing Creation,
[1c] But if we assume—without evidence—this complex and precise universe has no Creator113, how do we see ourselves?
we agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human intelligence was the last word, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of all.
[2] If we are honest with ourselves, what kind of thinking is this114,115,116?
Rather vain* of us, wasn’t it?
* Webster’s 1937 "vain": Undue or excessive pride; foolishness, silliness.
[1a]2p What kind of path are we on if we cling to this—possibly delusional?!—view of our own intelligence?
We, who have traveled this dubious path,
[1b] Having followed this dubious path ourselves, what do we say to anyone still on it?
beg you to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion.
[2] What have we learned about people who practice a genuine faith in their Creator—though they may do so imperfectly?
We have learned that whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to millions.
[3] What do people of faith have that not only makes good sense but actually works in real life?
People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about.
[4] And what do we not have while vainly proceeding along a path we believe “means nothing and goes nowhere”117?
Actually, we used to have no reasonable conception whatever.
[5a]3p What did we used to do to amuse ourselves when we were restless, irritable or discontent118?
We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices
[5b] What might we have noticed if we’d been less focused on our own little plans and designs119?
when we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness and usefulness
[5c] Instead of ridiculing their happiness and freedom, what should we have done120?
which we should have sought ourselves.
[1a]2p Instead of seeking the stability and usefulness which people of faith often find, what do we sometimes still do?
Instead, we looked at the human defects of these people,
[1b] And if we aren’t much interested in looking at our own flaws121, what do we do?
and sometimes used their shortcomings as a basis of wholesale condemnation.
[2] Do we sometimes see our own faults in these people—and condemn their behavior but not our own122?
We talked of intolerance, while we were intolerant ourselves.
[3] So, what really keeps us from a spiritual solution which the people of faith often find?
We missed the reality and the beauty of the forest because we were diverted by the ugliness of some of its trees.
[4] And as long as we believe our own intelligence to be the alpha and omega123,124, what do we never do?
We never gave the spiritual side of life a fair hearing.
[1] What can we learn from the twenty-nine personal stories published in the First Edition?
In our personal stories* you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[2] So now, back to the spiritual solution offered in this book—what if our own concept of God125,126 simply isn't the same as someone else’s127?
Whether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference.
[3] Will such differences keep any of us from making our own approach or establishing our own contact with God however we each understand Him128?
Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried.
[4] Do we care how anyone else effects a conscious contact with the God of their understanding129,130 so long as they honestly believe in That Power131,132 and live by spiritual principles133?
They are questions for each individual to settle for himself.
[1-2]+2 Upon what did the First 100 agree—many of whom were the authors of the First Edition’s 29 personal stories*?
On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed.
Every one of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[3] What resulted from each one’s own belief in this Power, which is God134?
This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible.
* Note to study leader: Please keep going—include the next paragraph with this last sentence.
[4] What’s our first suggestion to the reader who asked earlier why he should believe135—and would believe if our answers are “firmly grounded in fact”136?
As a celebrated American statesman put it, "Let’s look at the record."
[1] Where can we see the fact of real changes in the lives of people who became “willing to believe”137?
Here are Thousands of men and women, worldly indeed.
[2a]4p In telling their personal stories, how do they say recovery unfolded?
They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves,
[2b] What begins our decision to trust God to be our Director138?
to take a certain attitude toward that Power,
[2c] What do we do to establish and to maintain this new relationship with Him139?
and to do certain simple things,
[2d] And though their stories are all quite different, what do all of them say happened?
there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.
[3a]2p What were their lives like before they took this certain attitude and did these simple things?
In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources,
[3b] What do they flatly declare their lives are like now?
they found that a New power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them.
[4a]2p Though individual progress—from “desire to stop”140 to “a new freedom and happiness”141—happened “quickly” for some and “slowly” for others142—when did real change begin?
This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple
[4b] What do the authors say about these "few simple" things143,144,145—that they are the essential146,147 what?
requirements.
[5a]2p As people who once seemed hopeless, why are their stories particularly helpful?
Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show
[5b] What effect did the subtle insanity148,149—and the obstinacy150 and selfishness151 that went with it—have on their lives?
the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life.
[6] What do they say about living life mostly on self-will152—without spiritual help153?
Leaving aside the drink question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory.
[7] What do the personal stories* of these early members show?
They show how the change came over them.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[8a]2p And what do these same people now say is the most important fact of their lives?
When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives,
[8b] So, when we see people who have risen above their problems and they say “God did it,”154 what do we make of that?
they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.
[1] Turning theories155 into practical, useful applications made what possible?
This world of ours has made more material progress in the last century than in all the millenniums which went before.
[2] Why is material progress more rapid now than in previous centuries?
Almost everyone knows the reason.
[3] Is it because people today must be smarter than people in previous centuries?
Students of ancient history tell us that the intellect of men in those days was equal to the best of today.
[4-5]+2 Hmmm… Then, why weren’t people driving cars and using phones centuries ago?
Yet in ancient times material progress was painfully slow.
The spirit of modern scientific inquiry, research and invention was almost unknown.
[6] What did hamper progress in the physical realm in those days?
In the realm of the material, men’s minds were fettered by superstition, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas.
[7-8]+2 What are some examples of ancient people ignoring evidence in favor of fixed ideas?
Some of the contemporaries of Columbus thought a round earth preposterous.
Others came near putting Galileo to death for his astronomical heresies.
[1] What still today may be true for many of us when it comes to spiritual matters156?
We asked ourselves this: Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material?
[2] Do we sometimes reject evidence for things which we already believe are not possible157?
Even in the present century, American newspapers were afraid to print an account of the Wright brothers’ first successful flight at Kitty Hawk.
[3-5]+3 Or conversely, do we sometimes readily accept evidence which confirms ideas we were sure were well grounded and completely logical?
Had not all efforts at flight failed before?
Did not Professor Langley’s flying machine go to the bottom of the Potomac River?
Was it not true that the best mathematical minds had proved man could never fly?
[6] And do we sometimes wrongly apply facts from one realm to “prove” a predetermined idea in the other?
Had not people said God had reserved this privilege to the birds?
[7] What has proven true about those expert predictions that man would never fly?
Only thirty years later the conquest of the air was almost an old story and airplane travel was in full swing.
[1-2]+2 What happened to our thinking as soon as the Wrights “accomplished the impossible”?
But in most fields our generation has witnessed complete liberation of our thinking.
Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will say, "I bet they do it—maybe not so long either."
[3a]2p What does new evidence usually do to old ideas nowadays?
Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new,
[3b] Whatever happened to rotary phones*, for example?
by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does?
*"Rotary phone": Invented in 1904, was the most widely used type of phone in the 1930s.
[1] Can we adapt our ability to accept new ideas as a starting point to solve old problems?
We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view.
[2a]2p What seemingly insolvable human problems plague us when we’re stuck in this illness158, the subtle insanity159?
We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people—
[2b] Compared to problems like space flight, how important is it to find solutions to the problems that so fiercely plague us?
was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight?
[3] If, at the moment, we’re in our right mind, how will we answer this question?
Of course it was.
[1a]2p Back to the reader who earlier asked why he should believe160—what can we now suggest is at least one good reason why he should believe in a Power greater than himself?
When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe,
[1b] When we see others recover and they say God did it, what are we almost compelled to do?
we had to stop doubting the power of God.
[2] When we see others recover while we ourselves are not recovering, what does that tell us?
Our ideas did not work.
[3] When we see what actually works, what do we have to say?!
But the God idea did.
[1a]2p How did a certain kind of faith161 motivate the Wright brothers—what had they “come to believe”162?
The Wright brothers’ almost childish faith that they could build a machine which would fly
[1b] How did their decision to believe—and keep on believing no matter what—keep them “wound up”163?
was the mainspring* of their accomplishment.
* Webster’s 1937 "mainspring": a. The spring mechanism that powers a watch. b. Chief motive, agent, or agency.
[2] Without this faith, would they have kept trying again and again to do the "impossible"?
Without that, nothing could have happened.
[3] If we doubt God’s willingness or power to relieve our insanity164, what is our only option?
We agnostics and atheists were sticking to the idea that self-sufficiency would solve our problems.
[4a]2p What makes it reasonable to believe we can let go of the self-sufficiency idea?
When others showed us that "God-sufficiency" worked with them,
[4b] Who do we sound like when we say, "Yes but, the God idea won't work for me."165,166
we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly.
[1-3]+3 Can we use our brains—as well as our hearts—to search for the God of our own understanding?
Logic is great stuff.
We liked it.
We still like it.
[4] Is our mind a cosmic accident…or a gift—with which we may come to know our Creator?
It is not by chance we were given the power to reason, to examine the evidence of our senses, and to draw conclusions.
[5] Of the amazing abilities given to all creatures, how is man's ability to reason described?
That is one of man’s magnificent attributes.
[6] Again167, how important is it for us to choose a concept of God that makes sense168?
We agnostically inclined would not feel satisfied with a proposal which does not lend itself to reasonable approach and interpretation.
[7a]3p Does this program ask us to blindly believe in the God idea169 without any reasonable basis?
Hence we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable,
[7b] What seems to be the “dawn’s first light” of many a personal return to sanity170?
why we think it more sane and logical to believe than not to believe,
[7c] Conversely, are we really being sane and logical if we use reason to reject eye-witness evidence presented by those who recovered171,172?
why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said, "We don’t know."
[1a]2p What helps us abandon obstinacy and unreasoning prejudice173—at least briefly—to consider the God idea174 sanely and logically175?
When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade,
[1b] So, for the person suffering the "subtle insanity"176,177,178,179—an "illness"180, 181—which only a spiritual experience will conquer182—what is the sane and logical proposition upon which a return to sanity becomes possible183?
we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing.
[2] How may this proposal be expressed even more simply?
God either is, or He isn’t.
[3] Will we choose the "God idea"184,185 and live—or stick with self-sufficiency186,187—to the bitter end188?
What was our choice to be?
[1] If "coming to believe God is"189 is the first hurdle of Step 2, what is Step 2’s second hurdle?
Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted with the question of faith.
[2] How important is it to believe not only that God can190 restore us to sanity191—that He has the power192——but that He will do it193 if we seek to establish contact with Him194?
We couldn’t duck the issue.
[3] If we’ve come to believe God can195 restore us, how close might we be to that shore of faith that he will196 restore us?
Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of Reason toward the desired shore of faith.
[4] What does the promise of "a way of living that solves all problems"197 do for us?
The outlines and the promise of the New Land had brought luster to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits.
[5] How are people on the shore trying to help—those who adopted the God idea and recovered?
Friendly hands had stretched out in welcome.
[6] What seems to have resulted from the “great persuader’s”198,199 work which made it possible for us use our brains200 again?
We were grateful that Reason had brought us so far.
[7] In spite of our belief that "God can"201, does the faith that "He will do it"202—seem still beyond our reach?
But somehow, we couldn’t quite step ashore.
[8] But…what if we don’t have to reason our way into faith? What if we already have the faith we need?
Perhaps we had been leaning too heavily on Reason that last mile and we did not like to lose our support.
[1a]2p If we believe we have no capacity for faith203—maybe we think reason is our only option204?
That was natural,
[1b] What if—what if(?!)—we already have all the Faith we need?
but let us think a little more closely.
[2] Could it be that we're already living by faith—and maybe totally—without realizing it?
Without knowing it, had we not been brought to where we stood by a certain kind of faith?
[3] Didn’t we already, for example, believe in our ability to think, analyze data and draw conclusions?
For did we not believe in our own reasoning?
[4] Don’t we already rely on our thinking to make plans and decisions?
Did we not have confidence in our ability to think?
[5] What's another word for the complete confidence we have had in our own thinking?
What was that but a sort of faith?
[6] So, is the problem that we lack faith…or that we’ve had faith in something—our own thinking205—which turned out to be a real “flimsy reed”206,, the actual root of our trouble207,208,209?
Yes, we had been faithful, abjectly* faithful to the God of Reason.
* Webster’s 1937 "abjectly": syn. Groveling, cringing, ignoble, slavish; vile, base, contemptible.
[7] Weren’t we completely convinced we could manage our own lives—that “self-sufficiency”210 would solve our problems?
So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time!
[1] What shows that we’ve had faith in practically everything but a power greater than ourselves and that this faith has been almost religious in nature?
We found, too, that we had been worshippers.
[2] Wait. What?! Not "worshipers"(!!!)—we’re not "worshipers"! … are we?
What a state of mental goose-flesh that used to bring on!
[3] What all have we sometimes worshipfully believed would all solve our problems?
Had we not variously worshipped* people, sentiment*, things, money, and ourselves?
* Webster’s 1937 "worship": A feeling of reverence for power, position, merit, virtue, etc..
* Webster’s 1937 "sentiment": A particular view, opinion, or belief, esp. one influenced by complex emotion.
[4] Could “worship” be a part of our make-up—like our intuitive recognition of beauty and order?
And then, with a better motive, had we not worshipfully beheld the sunset, the sea, or a flower?
[5] What’s another sense much like faith—that can and has changed the course of our lives?
Who of us had not loved something or somebody?
[6-7]+2 Just how guided by reason are we really?
How much did these feelings, these loves, these worships, have to do with pure reason?
Little or nothing, we saw at last.
[8] How much of our lives are not built on reason—at all?!
Were not these things the tissue out of which our lives were constructed?
[9] Have we ever made big life decisions on heartfelt feelings like love and wonder?
Did not these feelings, after all, determine the course of our existence?
[10] So, is the “shore of faith”211 still a long way off—or really…might we already be there?
It was impossible to say we had no capacity for faith, or love, or worship.
[11] How great and powerful a force has faith already been throughout our entire lives?
In one form or another we had been living by faith and little else.
[1] What’s another way to demonstrate the vastness of the faith—that we already have?
Imagine life without faith!
[2] What if life didn’t come equipped with faith212 to begin with—but was perhaps an optional upgrade to be ordered separately?
Were nothing left but pure reason, it wouldn’t be life.
[3] For example, does everything have to be proven with logic before we can believe it?
But we believed in life—of course we did.
[4] To believe life exists, must we first prove life…or do we just say, “Yep. Here it is.”?
We could not prove life in the sense that you can prove a straight line is the shortest distance between two points, yet, there it was.
[5-6]+2 Can reason, logic, and argument really tell us existence has no meaning213?
Could we still say the whole thing was nothing but a mass of electrons, created out of nothing, meaning nothing, whirling on to a destiny of nothingness?
Of course we couldn’t.
[7-8]+2 Do electrons, for example, seem purposeless in the existence of matter, energy, life?
The electrons themselves seemed more intelligent than that.
At least, so the chemist said.
[1] So, back to Step 2’s second hurdle214,215—how do we reach the “shore of faith”216?
Hence, we saw that reason isn’t everything.
[2] In the long history of faulty reasoning, what has reason itself taught us about—reason?
Neither is reason, as most of us use it, entirely dependable, though it emanate from our best minds.
[3] Do we sometimes reason our way to the disproof of something which we already don’t believe?
What about people who proved that man could never fly?
[1] Just as the light of a bulb proves the flow of unseen electrons217 what have we seen that reveals a Power218 that can219 and does220,221 restore sanity222,223 to those who seek Him224,?
Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems.
[2a]2p What do these people say happened—the ones whose lives225 demonstrate a new freedom and happiness226?
They said God made these things possible,
[2b] Do we sometimes use “good sound reason” to wish away whatever it is we don’t want to believe227?
and we only smiled.
[3] Is our dismissal of these eye-witness accounts truly reasonable…or just obstinance and prejudgment228?
We had seen spiritual release, but liked to tell ourselves it wasn’t true.
[1a]2p Especially if we're plagued by an illness229, of subtle insanity230,231,232, what are we really doing when we ignore such eye-witness233 accounts?
Actually we were fooling ourselves,
[1b] Because—what in fact have we intuitively known our entire lives?
for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God.
[2a]2p How is the fundamental idea of God sometimes obscured by resentment, pride, and self-seeking?
It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things,
[2b] The God idea234...no matter how hard we ignore it, suppress it, or run from it235,—why are we simply never rid of it?
but in some form or other it is there.
[3] How far back in time have eye-witness accounts like these been reported?
For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
[1a]2p What do we finally see is a part of our human experience just like worship236, the sense of beauty237, and love238?
We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up,
[1b] What’s another built-in facet of our make-up which faith is like?
just as much as the feeling we have for a friend.
[2] If we carefully follow the path of the first 100239,240, what are we certain to find?
Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there.
[3] What in fact makes it possible for us to find God at all—to find His power241 and willingness242 to restore us to sanity?
He was as much a fact as we were.
[4] Where do we look to find that understanding of God243 that “makes sense”244 to us, and begin to make real contact with Him245?
We found the Great Reality deep down within us.
[5] Having looked for that understanding almost everywhere246 but inside ourselves, what do we now know?
In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found.
[6] How do the authors of this book know this to be true?
It was so with us.
[1] What do the authors hope they have accomplished in this chapter to help any reader—but especially those who consider faith to be impossible247?
We can only clear the ground a bit.
[2a]3p From their own experience, what good reasons248,249,250 do the authors offer for belief in God’s Power—and faith in His willingness to help?
If our testimony
[2b] How do they hope their personal and eye-witness accounts will help?
helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself,
[2c] If we choose to believe in His Power and trust His care, where do the authors suggest we join them?
then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway.
[3] What will an open mind and a fearless search251 do to help find the new life of “happiness and direction”252 which these many thousands253 found?
With this attitude you cannot fail.
[4] What is sure to happen as soon as we believe in His Power254, trust His care255,, and take action256 to connect with Him257?
The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.
[1] Whose story is found in the personal stories258 titled "Our Southern Friend"?
In this book you will read the experience of a man who thought he was an atheist.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[2] Why is Fitz’s story included here as well as in the Personal Stories?
His story is so interesting that some of it should be told now.
[3] What makes our Maryland friend’s story so interesting?
His change of heart was dramatic, convincing, and moving.
[1-2a]+1.5 So to begin, what do we know about Fitz’s childhood?
Our friend was a minister’s son.
He attended church school,
[2b] What led Fitz to reject the "fundamental idea of God"259 in his youth260?
where he became rebellious at what he thought an overdose of religious education.
[3] Where did his childhood antagonism261 toward spiritual things take him?
For years thereafter he was dogged by trouble and frustration.
[4] Handicapped262 by obstinacy, touchiness, and prejudice, how unsatisfactory263 was life for Fitz?
Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide—these calamities in his immediate family embittered and depressed him.
[5a]2p As the subtle insanity264 progressed265, did things ever improve266?
Post-war disillusionment, ever more serious alcoholism, impending mental and physical collapse,
[5b] Had Fitz arrived at the "jumping off place"267?
brought him to the point of self-destruction.
[1a]2p Once Fitz reached the point of self-destruction268 where was he put?
One night, when confined in a hospital,
[1b] What can happen when a recovered person269 seeks to bring "this message"270,271 to the man who is still sick272?
he was approached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritual experience.
[2] How did Fitz react when his visitor talked about his new relationship with his Creator273?
Our friend’s gorge rose as he bitterly cried out: "If there is a God, He certainly hasn’t done anything for me!"
[3] When he had a chance to think things over274, what question occurred to him?
But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: "Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong?"
[4] How did Fitz feel thinking about the new life that his visitor said God made possible275?
While pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in hell.
[5] What happened when Fitz considered the proposition that "God either is, or He isn’t276?
Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came.
[6] What stubborn277 "old idea"278 did Fitz suddenly realize he could simply...abandon279?
It crowded out all else: "Who are you to say there is no God?"
[1] What choice did Fitz make?
This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees.
[2] What was Fitz's experience*?
In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God.
* Note: Read Fitz's story, "Our Southern Friend", online on silkworth.net here.
[3] Though some of us realize such an awareness slowly280, how did Fitz experience it?
It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood.
[4] How did his whole attitude and outlook on life change281?
The barriers he had built through the years were swept away.
[5] What did Fitz find to be the Great Reality282 within—which he now knew to be the “most important fact”283 of his life?
He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love.
[6] Had he come to believe not only that God could284—but would285—restore him to sanity?
He had stepped from bridge to shore.
[7] Did an awareness of his belief—his faith—come to him286?
For the first time, he lived in conscious companionship with his Creator.
[1] What did "conscious companionship with his Creator"287 turn out to be for Fitz?
Thus was our friend’s cornerstone fixed in place.
[2] How effective was the spiritual structure288—this new way of living289—which Fitz began to build290 on this cornerstone?
No later vicissitude* has shaken it.
* Webster’s 1937 "vicissitude": Change of fortunes, ups and downs of life, etc..
[3] What became of Fitz’s "main problem"291—the subtle insanity292—that put Fitz in the hospital?
His alcoholic problem was taken away.
[4] By “taken away” do we mean the problem became “manageable” because he went to six meetings a week, called his sponsor every day, avoided certain people and places, etc.?
That very night, years ago, it disappeared.
[5a]2p What was removed—what “disappeared”: the allergic reaction293—or—Fitz's main problem, the subtle insanity of his own thinking294?
Save for a few brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned;
[5b] Instead of the "peculiar mental twist"295, now what arises in our friend when temptation arrives296?
and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him.
[6] What does real recovery look like297?
Seemingly he could not drink even if he would.
[7] What did God—who “could and would if He were sought”298—do for Fitz?
God had restored his sanity.
[1] What three words may best describe Fitz’s dramatic change of heart and mind299?
What is this but a miracle of healing?
[2] How complicated are the elements300 of a spiritual experience301?
Yet its elements are simple.
[3] What is sometimes a "tedious process"302, in the first element—Step 1303—of this "healing protocol", i.e., the program of recovery304?
Circumstances made him willing to believe.
[4] Then, once a person does believe (Step 2305), what is the next element (Step 3306,307) of this healing protocol—the recovery program?
He humbly offered himself to his Maker—then he knew.
[1] Who do the first 100 flatly declare restored their sanity308,309?
Even so has God restored us all to our right minds.
[2] What might be another word for "spiritual awakening"310 and did Fitz come to it "quickly" or "slowly"311?
To this man, the revelation was sudden.
[3] Do the authors say they all became “God-conscious”312 suddenly, like Fitz?
Some of us grow into it more slowly.
[4] What do the authors flatly declare anyone can experience who fearlessly313 and thoroughly follows their path314,315?
But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him.
[1] Chapter summary: What do the First 100 "flatly declare" happened when they:
- chose to believe316 in the power of God317, to restore,
- took a new attitude toward that Power318—i.e., that God “could and would”319 restore if sought,
- and then took certain simple steps320 to establish a new relationship with Him on this basis321?
When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!
|:|:| !r review edits here pub c5 |:|:|
[1] In the author’s experience, how well did the Big Book’s spiritual program of action work?
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.
[2a]3p What might be at stake for someone who does not follow this path "thoroughly"?
Those who do not recover
[2b] Why would anyone be less than thorough on a path to sanity1 and sobriety2,3?
are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program,
[2c] What do people who will not recover have in common with people who cannot recover?
usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.
[3-4]+2 Do we blame such people—do we suggest they don’t really want freedom from insanity?
There are such unfortunates.
They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way.
[5] Handicapped by stubbornness, unreasonableness, and touchiness4, what can they not do?
They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty.
[6] What are our chances for healingzz if we lack the ability to be honest with ourselves?
Their chances are less than average.
[7a]2p But even people with real mental or emotional disorders can do what?
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover
[7b] What built-in facet of our nature appears to be positively required for recovery?
if they have the capacity to be honest.
[1] What was the nature of the First Edition’s twenty-nine personal stories which the authors refer to here?
Our stories* disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[2a]3p What might reading these 29 personal stories lead us to want?
If you have decided you want what we have
[2b] What do we have to do to get the new lifezz which these stories describe?
and are willing to go to any length to get it—
[2c] If we are desperate for a new life and willing to do what’s required to find it, what are we ready to do?
then you are ready to take certain steps.
[1] The first time we examine the steps one by one, what immediately seems to happen to most of us?
At some of these we balked.
[2] What do we think when we see the whole program…all at once—in one reading?!
We thought we could find an easier, softer way.
[3] What does everyone say who tried to find an easier, softer way?
But we could not.
[4] Since people who thoroughly follow this path rarely fail, what do we urge?
With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.
[5a]2p What do we normally try to do with settled beliefs which we have held for a very long time?
Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas
[5b] What is our chance of recovery (...i.e., having our sanity restored...) if we hold to ideas5 which we can now see may not be working for us?
and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
[1a]2p What particular symptom6,7 of the "peculiar mental twist"8,9,10 does this book mainly focus upon?
Remember that we deal with alcohol—
[1b] What do we know of the "subtle insanity" 11,12,13,14,15,16 described earlier in this book?
cunning, baffling, powerful!
[2] Just how cunning, baffling, and powerful is this “insidious”zz insanity?
Without help it is too much for us.
[3] What is the this book’s message about finding a new relationship with a Power greater than ourselves which “could restore us to sanity”zz?
But there is One who has all power—that One is God.
[4] What is the essence of a "spiritual experience"zz or "spiritual awakening"zz?
May you find Him now!
[1] If we’re not sure finding God is the answer, can we just go to meetings, maybe work a few steps, and see how it goes?
Half measures availed us nothing.
[2] If we’re wondering whether to solve our problemzz by seeking a new relationship with this One who has all power17—or to continue without such a change to the bitter endzz, where are we?
We stood at the turning point.
[3] If we want to go all in—to find a spiritual experiencezz—what do we do next?
We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
[1a]2p If we have decided we want to “…find Him now!”18, how do we do it—what did the First 100 do?
Here are the steps we took,
[1b] What do the First 100 suggest we do to find a power greater than ourselves that will solve our problem19,20?
which are suggested as a program of recovery:
* Note to study leader: After asking someone to read the 12 Steps, please continue to the Q&A in the next paragraph.
[1-12]+12
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
[1] What do many of us think the first time we consider the whole program—all at once?!
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can’t go through with it."
[2-3]+2 Do we think we have to take these steps perfectly to find a spiritual experience?
Do not be discouraged.
No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.
[4] Why are we pretty sure we will never take any these steps perfectly?
We are not saints.
[5] What keeps us going in the steps though we know we don't do them perfectly?
The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines.
[6] With respect to trustingzz our will and lives "to the care of God as we understand Him"zz, the spiritual principles in these steps help us do what?
The principles we have set down are guides to progress.
[7a]2p What do we see happen when we work our way through these steps?
We claim spiritual progress
[7b] What do we not claim?
rather than spiritual perfection.
[1a]4p Grounded in their vital experience21, what particular symptom of the subtle insanity22,23 do the authors focus on in Chapter 3?
Our description of the alcoholic,
[1b] What chapter discusses issues which may surround coming to believe God can and will restore us to sanity24?
the chapter to the agnostic,
[1c] What do twenty-nine personal stories (found in First Edition) tell?
and our personal adventures* before and after
* The 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[1d] What are the most important take-aways from the chapters and stories just mentioned?
make clear three pertinent ideas:
[2] In Step One, what do we admit about the strange mental conditionzz that prevents normal functioning of the will powerzz?
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
[3] After fighting this insanityzz ourselves—trying every imaginable remedy2526—what else do we admit in Step 1?
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
[4] In Step Two, as the direct result of (a) and (b) above, what have we come27 to believe?
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
[1a]3p How sure of (a), (b), and (c) above should we be before we are "ready"28 to take Step 3?
Being convinced,
[1b] And when we’re positive we’re convinced, where are we?
we were at Step Three,
[1c] What decision29 sets the keystone30 in the arch through which we pass to freedom31?
which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him.
[2] What questions might the reader still want to ask before making this decision?
Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do?
[1] How may Step 1 be re-stated to focus on the spiritual illness32 which lies at the root of our problem?
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.
[2] Why is life run on self-will—i.e., the spiritual illness—very likely to fail?
On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
[3] Are people with our particular outward symptoms the only ones who live by self-will?
Most people try to live by self-propulsion.
[4a]2p What’s it like when everyone seems to be running on self-will33?
Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show;
[4b] And what do every single one of us think we can do better than the Director—who happens also to be the Writer and the Producer of the play?
is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way.
[5a]2p What frustrates us the most when we try to "arrange life to suit ourselves"34?
If his arrangements would only stay put,
[5b] Why are we sometimes angry with the other actors?
if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great.
[6] What are we positive would happen if everyone would just let us direct the show?
Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.
[7] How would life be if only people would follow our dictates?
Life would be wonderful.
[8] When we're trying to run the show, how do we see ourselves?
In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous.
[9] How do we act so long as everyone cooperates?
He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing.
[10] But how do we act when people don’t cooperate?
On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest.
[11] Are any of us all good or bad?
But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
[1-2]+2 What’s been our stellar record of success when we try to run the whole show?
What usually happens?
The show doesn’t come off very well.
[3] Are we surprised when the show falls apart and the audience throws tomatoes at us?
He begins to think life doesn’t treat him right.
[4] What finally is our only option when we’ve already tried everything and nothing works?
He decides to exert himself more.
[5] Then what happens when we exert ourselves more—but we’re really only doing the same things that we already know don’t work?
He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be.
[6] Are we ever happy with the results?
Still the play does not suit him.
[7] Who do we blame when our little plans and designs35 fall apart?
Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame.
[8] What happens when other people push back or just ignore us?
He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying.
[9] In moments of honesty with ourselves, what do we ask?
What is his basic trouble?
[10] But is this the answer we ever admit to ourselves?
Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind?
[11] When we’re running on self-will, who do we seem to believe has “all power”?
Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?
[12] Are the other actors quite aware that all we care about is our own happiness?
Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants?
[13] How do the other actors react when they see we care very little about anybody but ourselves?
And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show?
[14] When we believe we know what’s best for everybody, what do we actually accomplish?
Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
[1] If our “main problem” in a physical sense is our thinkingzz, what is our main problem in a spiritual sense?
Our actor is self-centered—ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays.
[2] What does our actor’s self-centeredness look like in people who show different outward signs—or no signs—of the illness36, that we show?
He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up.
[3] What do we see when we look at the spiritual side of this illness37—which is the “root of our trouble"38?
Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
[1] Relentless obsession with ourselves—the spiritual39 side of this malady—is what?
Selfishness—self-centeredness!
[2] What does selfishness have to do with "trouble in our personal relationships, lack of control in our emotional natures, misery and depression, problems at work, feelings of uselessness, fear, unhappiness, and inability to be of real help to other people"40?
That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
[3a]3p In a spiritual illness, what motivates the things we do and the actions we take?
Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity,
[3b] What invariably happens when we try to manage life to suit ourselves41?
we step on the toes of our fellows
[3c] How do our fellows react when we “wrest satisfaction out of life”42 at their expense—or even try to?
and they retaliate.
[4a]2p Then what always surprises us?
Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation,
[4b] But what do we discover when we are honest with ourselves about each specific matter?
but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
[1] When we make decisions based on self, what do we inevitably create for ourselves?
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.
[2a]3p According to what the book says here, where do all our troubles come from?
They arise out of ourselves,
[2b] Though most people live by self-propulsion, we fearful, self-deluded types are what?
and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot,
[2c] Are we even aware, most of the time, of the havoc our self-will causes?
though he usually doesn’t think so.
[3] When we finally see that selfishness—self-centeredness is the root of our trouble and drives our insane behavior, what becomes our highest priority?
Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.
[4] Why must we be rid of this spiritual malady: selfishness—self-centeredness?
We must, or it kills us!
[5] Who can and will “restore us to sanity” if we seek Him43—i.e., rid us of the fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity that drives our insanity?
God makes that possible.
[6] If we’ve tried everything, what have we probably—hopefully—concluded by now?
And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid.
[7a]2p Is our problem that we can’t tell right from wrong?
Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore,
[7b] Is our problem that we don’t try hard enough?
but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to.
[8] Do we think we can fix self-centeredness by exerting ourselves to be less self-centered?
Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power.
[9] If “lack of power is our dilemma”44, what is our only hope of being rid of selfishness—self-centeredness and the insane behavior it drives?
We had to have God’s help.
[1] As soon as we’re convinced selfish self-will doesn’t work45—and never will—what do we want to know?
This is the how and why of it.
[2] To be rid of this “spiritual illness”46—selfishness, self-centeredness47,—so it doesn't kill us—what must we do first?
First of all, we had to quit playing God.
[3] From all the trouble we made for ourselves48 in days past, what did we learn about "playing God"49?
It didn’t work.
[4] What decision is the "keystone in the archway"50 to freedom from selfishness, self-centeredness—the "bondage"51,52 of self?
Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director.
[5] If He is the Owner of all things, what does that make us?
He is the Principal; we are His agents.
[6] If He is the Creator of all things, what does that make us?
He is the Father, and we are His children.
[7a]3p What is a common characteristic of a truly good idea?
Most good ideas are simple,
[7b] This idea—that God can do a better job of managing my life than I can—is what?
and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed
[7c] Amd where does this concept take us?
to freedom.
[1] What happens when we sincerely make this decision—to make God our Directorzz?
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed.
[2] What’s another way of looking at this new relationship53—in which God is our Director?
We had a new Employer.
[3a]3p What turns out to be one of our new Employer’s most impressive credentials?
Being all powerful,
[3b] What happens when we make God our Director and put these things into His hands54—self-esteem, financial security, ambitions, personal relationships (including sex)55?
He provided what we needed,
[3c] What is the price we pay56 to keep our side of this amazing bargain57, our two and only two job responsibilities are what58,59
if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.
[4] How is selfishness—self-centeredness reduced when we do our two jobs to the best of our abilityzz?
Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs.
[5] As we become less interested in ourselves, what do we become more interested in?
More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.
[6a]5p What seems to happen so long as we keep close to Him and perform His work well—our two and only two jobs?
As we felt new power flow in,
[6b] What do we begin to enjoy as the direct result of this new relationship60?
as we enjoyed peace of mind,
[6c] The more we focus on doing our two jobs, what do we discover?
as we discovered we could face life successfully,
[6d] What seems to be the book's clearest definition of "Spiritual Awakening"61,62?
as we became conscious of His presence,
[6e] What do we begin to lose as we make spiritual progress63?
we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.
[7] What seems to be the overall result of our decision to make God our Director64?
We were reborn.
[1] When we take this attitude—that God is our Director—what Step is next?
We were now at Step Three.
[2a]3p Just to be clear—who exactly—are we asking to direct our lives?
Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him:
[2b] What do we have that’s of any possible value to this "One who has all power"65?
"God, I offer myself to Thee—
[2c] What do we ask God to do with our will and lives?
to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
[3a]2p What do we ask Him to do about the root-cause of all our troubles?
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
[3b] Why do we ask God to free us from the bondage of selfishness—self-centeredness?
that I may better do Thy will.
[4a]3p What do we ask Him to do about all the trouble we’ve made for ourselves66?
Take away my difficulties,
[4b] Why do we ask God to take away our difficulties?
that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help
[4c] What is the message we carry—the witness—to those we would help?
of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
[5] Just how long would we like to be free of selfishness67 and self-imposed crises68?
May I do Thy will always!"
[6a]3p Is Step Three a check-box formality or is it a major change in attitude and outlook69?
We thought well before taking this step
[6b] Of what must we be certain before we take this step?
making sure we were ready;
[6c] What does it mean to be “ready”70 to take this step?
that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.
[1a]2p Whom might we want to ask to join us when we take our Third Step?
We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person,
[1b] Of course a sponsor would be good, but does it have to be a sponsor so long as the person in mind is understanding?
such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser.
[2] How important is it to choose someone who understands what we’re doing?
But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand.
[3a]3p Does this prayer have to be prayed exactly as written here?
The wording was, of course, quite optional
[3b] What’s most important—the exact words or these ideas—that we’re putting our will and lives in His care71—that He may do with us as He thinks best72, that we may carry the message of His love and power and way of life73, and that we may stay close to Him and do His work74?
so long as we expressed the idea,
[3c] Whether we say the exact words or put these ideas into our own words, what is crucial?
voicing it without reservation.
[4a]2p When we’ve said this prayer, does that mean we're done putting our will and lives into God’s hands75?
This was only a beginning,
[4b] How can we know we’ve made a beginning, that we’ve taken this step without reservation?
though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
[1a]2p If we’ve abandoned ourselves to the care and protection of our Maker, what do we do next?
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action,
[1b] What’s the first vigorous action we take to establish76 and maintain77 this new relationship?
the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted.
[2a]3p Our decision to put our will and lives into God’s hands78 is what?
Though our decision was a vital and crucial step,
[2b] What does it take to keep our new faith active and alive79,80,81?
it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort
[2c] How do we begin to "sweep away the debris"82 which had blocked us from the sense of His presence83?
to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.
[3] Were we surprised to learn that the problem that brought us here isn’t really our main problem84?
Our liquor was but a symptom.
[4] What do we have to do to solve our real problem, our own thinking85?
So we had to get down to causes and conditions.
[1] Where do we begin to face things which “shut us off”86 from a “Power greater than ourselves”87?
Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory.
[2] First things first...what Step shows us how to admit—to ourselves—resentment, fear, and wrongs we have done?
This was Step Four.
[3] What can happen to a business that doesn’t regularly list and categorize its stock-in-trade?
A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke.
[4] A fearless inventory is what kind of process?
Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process.
[5] Finding and facing the facts helps a business (or a person) learn what?
It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade.
[6] When we have all the facts, what kind of decisions can we make?
One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret.
[7] What must a business be willing to face no matter what the inventory reveals?
If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.
[1] How can we put this concept of a fearless business inventory to use here in Step Four?
We did exactly the same thing with our lives.
[2] What will be our guiding principle through this fact finding and fact facing process?
We took stock honestly.
[3a]2p So, where do we start?
First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up
[3b] Why is our effort to discover such flaws so important?
which caused our failure.
[4a]2p From the actor wanting to run the whole show, what did we learn about self-will88 that showed it to be the root cause of all our troubles89?
Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us,
[4b] What is an effective way to spot instances where we’ve been running on self-will?
we considered its common manifestations.
[1] What manifestation of self-will seems to cause the most damage—to everybody?
Resentment* is the "number one" offender.
* Webster’s 1937 "resentment": Indignant displeasure due to personally perceived wrong or insult.
[2] How does resentment rank among the many things that wreak destruction?
It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.
[3a]2p Resentment plays what role in anger—including perhaps even anger with God—as well as self-pity, fear, and dishonesty?
From it stem all forms of spiritual disease,
[3b] How many ways can resentment make us sick90?
for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.
[4] When we find a way to deal with the spiritual illness of resentment, what else gets better?
When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.
[5] Where do we put our resentments so we can see them and deal with them?
In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper.
[6] First, what do we list in a column all the way down the left side of our paper?
We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry.
[7] What do we ask ourselves while we continue to write each name?
We asked ourselves why we were angry.
[8] What seems to have incited our anger toward everybody and everything?
In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened.
[9-10]+2 How do we react when people, institutions, or principles threaten these things we believe we deserve91 and could get if everyone would cooperate92?
So we were sore.
We were "burned up."
[1] After writing all the names that come to mind, where do we go back now and write why we were angry?
On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries.
[2] What one or two word note do we write in the last column beside each injury?
Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?
[1] Should we be any more detailed about our injuries than in this example?
We were usually as definite as this example:
|
I'm resentful at: |
The Cause |
Affects my: |
|
Mr. Brown |
His attention to my wife. |
Sex relations. Self-esteem (fear) |
|
|
Told my wife of my mistress. |
Sex relations. Self-esteem (fear) |
|
|
Brown may get my job at the office. |
Security Self-esteem (fear) |
|
~ (Abbreviated) ~ |
[1] How far back do we go looking for persons, institutions, and principles with whom we are angry?
We went back through our lives.
[2] Brevity is important, but what are our guiding principles through this part of our inventory?
Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty.
[3] Next, what do we do with this list when we finish it?
When we were finished we considered it carefully.
[4] When we carefully consider these sentence fragments and jotted noteszz, what’s the first thing we see?
The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong.
[5] Remembering that our thinking is our main problemzz, what sort of thinking can keep us stuck in resentment?
To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got.
[6] What happens so long as we keep wishing these other people would change or would stop mistreating us?
The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore.
[7a]2p On the other hand, how might we feel if we blame ourselves for their wrongs?
Sometimes it was remorse*
* Webster’s 1937 "remorse": Distressful regret; gnawing, painful sense of guilt.
[7b] So, when we think we’re only getting what we deserve, then who are we mad at?
and then we were sore at ourselves.
[8] And what happens when we try to make others treat us as we think they should?
But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got.
[9-10]+2 Then finally, what happens when we explode on them to make them regret the harm they’ve done us—or that we think they’ve done?
As in war, the victor only seemed to win.
Our moments of triumph were short-lived.
[1] Where will our anger at the harms others have done—or that we think they’ve done—take us?
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.
[2] Without an effective way to handle futility and unhappiness, what are we losing—without knowing it?
To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile.
[3a]2p What new hope did we gain in Step 2, what motivated us to take Step Threezz—what is still our motive to take the rest of the Steps93,94?
But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience,
[3b] How great a threat is resentment to this vital hope, to a new “way of living that solves all problems"95?
this business of resentment is infinitely grave.
[4] When the authors write “this business of resentment is grave”, just how grave is it?
We found that it is fatal.
[5] What does a grudge do to our hope for strength, inspiration, and direction from the One who has all power96?
For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.
[6] What is sure to happen if we shut ourselves off from the “sunlight of the spirit”?
The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again.
[7] And then where…does this “insidious insanity97 take us98?
And with us, to drink is to die.
[1] Just how much resentment can we afford to harbor—how much can we tolerate and still live?
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.
[2] Do we think it’s ok to express a little anger now and then?
The grouch and the brainstorm* were not for us.
* Webster’s 1937 "brainstorm": A violent transient fit of insanity.
[3a]2p Who might be able to vent their anger on others—but umm, do “normal” people do so? (P.S. How would we know?!)
That may be the dubious luxury of normal men,
[3b] For people like us with a spiritual illness99,100, the grouch and the "stormy brain" are literally what?
but for alcoholics these things are poison.
[1a]2p After reflecting on the seriousness of resentments and our urgent need to live free of them what do we do?
We turned back to the list,
[1b] What did we not imagine—could not have imagined—that this grudge list would hold for us?
for it held the key to the future.
[2] What change in attitudezz literally transforms this brief but honest list into a brand new future?
We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle.
[3] What do we see now really happened when we blamed others or ourselves for the hurts or threats we suffered?
We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us.
[4] What makes “harboring” anger or resentment towards others—or ourselves—a very dangerous habit?
In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill.
[5] Once we realize how serious harboring resentment can be, what do we urgently want to know?
How could we escape?
[6] Whether we’re angry with people who wrong us101 or we’re sore at ourselves because we think their harmful behavior is our fault102, what must—must—we learn to do with resentment?
We saw that these resentments must be mastered*, but how?
* Webster’s 1937 "master": To skillfully handle or defeat.
[7] But if we think we have any power—whatsoever103—to “master” resentments104 on our own105zz—without God’s help106,zz, what are we really trying to do that simply doesn't work?
We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.
[1a]2p Seeing that mastery of resentments can be a matter of life and death107, how do we "skillfully handle*" resentment (or, if you prefer—what is our course of treatment for resentments)?
This was our course:
* Note: see just above—Webster’s 1937 “master”: to skillfully handle.
[1b] What is the first of three "simple but not easy"108 actions we must take to skillfully handle resentments?
We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.
[2] Very simply, what is the “entirely different angle”109 we must take to look at people who wrong us110,111?
Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.
[3] What is the second of three "simple but not easy"112 actions we must take to skillfully handle resentments113?
We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
[4] When we ask God to help us like this—and also rely on His help114,115—what new attitude116 do we find we can take toward someone who offends?
When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man.
[5] And what specific guidance117 do we ask118 when a person offends?
How can I be helpful to him?
[6] What do we also ask God to do for us which we may seldom have been able to do for ourselves119?
God save me from being angry.
[7] What’s a good way to conclude prayers120,121,122 like these asking for God’s help123,124?
Thy will be done."
[1] Still referring to this second of three actions we must take to skillfully handle resentments, what do we ask God to help us avoid when hurt or threatened?
We avoid retaliation or argument.
[2] Why can’t we bring the hammer down on people who are clearly wrong or at least try to convince them they’re wrong?
We wouldn’t treat sick people that way.
[3] What will happen if we treat selfish, delusional, fearful, angry people—i.e., sick people—that way125?
If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful.
[4a]2p Since other people are sick—just like us126—what is simply a fact of life?
We cannot be helpful to all people,
[4b] But even when we can’t be helpful, what—in all cases—can we rely on God to show us?
but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.
[1] What is the third of three "simple but not easy"127 actions we must take to skillfully handle resentments?
Referring to our list again.
[2a]2p Recapping—what did we learn to do in the first two “simple but not easy” actions?
Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done,
[2b] Putting out of our minds the wrongs others have done (i.e., forgiving128 them) lets us turn our attention to what—instead of their mistakes?
we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.
* Note: the cross-reference above at "forgiving" is, "It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend.... We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit.... (Ch6~77.1)[6-7]"
[3] Besides resentment, what are a few more character defects129,130,131,132 that lie behind every mistake?
Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?
[4] What do the authors say again about “putting out of our minds” the wrongs others have done?
Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely.
[5-6] Due to selfishness, dishonesty, self-seeking or fear, what wrongs did we commit that harmed or disparaged someone or took or damaged their property or misled them133?
Where were we to blame?
The inventory was ours, not the other man’s.
[7] What do we do with these wrongs, these mistakes—including the self-seeking, dishonesty, or fear behind them?
When we saw our faults we listed them.
[8] How plain and honest should this whole amends list be?
We placed them before us in black and white.
[9a]3p Skillfully handling resentment requires that we be what with ourselves about mistakes?
We admitted our wrongs honestly
[9b] This Step 8 instruction here in Step 4 suggests that "mastering resentments" must includes our what134 to correct our mistakes?
and were willing
[9c] And this Step 9 instruction here in Step 4 suggests that learning to skillfully handle resentments also means actually going "out to our fellows"135 to do what136?
to set these matters straight.
* Note: see "the Promises", pg 84, pgh 4, "Before we are half way through...a new freedom....".
[1] Looking back at the three-columns example on page 65, what seems to underlie every difficulty?
Notice that the word "fear" is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife.
[2-3]+2 Why is fear137 listed as perhaps the second major offender of the manifestations of self138,139?
This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.
It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it.
[4] What happens when we make decisions140 which are “driven by fear”141 ?
It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve.
[5] How is trouble that is brought by fear literally “trouble of our own making”142?
But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling?
[6-7]+2 For all the trouble fear causes, can we just outlaw fear?
Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing.
It seems to cause more trouble.
[1] Can we learn to “master fear”, i.e., to handle fear skillfully, as we are learning to do with resentments143—if so, where to we start?
We reviewed our fears thoroughly.
* Webster’s 1937 “master”: to skillfully handle or defeat.
[2a]2p Where do we put fears that do not seem to go away?
We put them on paper,
[2b] Should we focus only the fears that we noted on our resentment list?
even though we had no resentment in connection with them.
[3] What do we earnestly want to know about each fear on our fear list?
We asked ourselves why we had them.
[4] What is the root of our fear of people or economic insecurity, or of fear that drives bad decisions and brings misfortune144?
Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us?
[5a]2p Since we frequently use personal ingenuity and ability to solve many problems, what had we learned about self-reliance?
Self-reliance was good as far as it went,
[5b] So why is self-reliance not a solution to all our problems?
but it didn’t go far enough.
[6a]3p What did we once have because we had successfully solved many problems over the years?
Some of us once had great self-confidence,
[6b] What did we discover about self-confidence when we were faced with threats145 beyond our power to solve?
but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem,
[6c] In reality, does self-reliance or self-confidence—itself—solve any problems?
or any other.
[7] What can “over-confidence” do in cases where we feel hurt or threated?
When it made us cocky, it was worse.
[1] Does the book suggest we can “skillfully handle” fears which arise from threats or circumstances beyond our power to control?
Perhaps there is a better way—we think so.
[2a]2p When we made a decision146 in our Third Step to put our will and lives into God’s care147 what did that do for us?
For we are now on a different basis;
[2b] Putting our lives into God’s hands puts us on what basis now148?
the basis of trusting and relying upon God.
[3] Whose Power, Love, and Way of Life149 can we rely upon to solve all our problems150?
We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves.
[4] What have we decided to do instead of trying to run the whole show151?
We are in the world to play the role He assigns.
[5a]3p Do we always know exactly what God wants us to do?
Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us,
[5b] Faith in His Power, Love, and Way of Life152,153 gives us power154 to do what?
and humbly rely on Him,
[5c] Skillfully handling fear—i.e., relying on the “One who has all power”155—means we will have His help to handle threats and hurts in what new way?
does He enable us to match calamity* with serenity.
* Webster’s 1937 "calamity": Any great misfortune, distress, adversity, SYN: see Disaster.
[1] Do we care what anybody thinks of our reliance156 on the Infinite God?
We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator.
[2] How may we react to people who think faith is weak, even cowardly157?
We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness.
[3] Trusting “in infinite God rather than our finite selves”158,159—is what?
Paradoxically, it is the way of strength.
[4] What does trusting infinite God have to do with “courage” (as opposed to cockiness)?
The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage*.
* Webster’s 1937 "courage": Root in Latin is "cor" which means "heart".
[5] What do the written histories of real people throughout the ages demonstrate?
All men of faith have courage.
[6] What do people of faith declare to be the source of their strength and courage?
They trust their God.
[7] Do we ever apologize for God’s strength, inspiration, and direction160?
We never apologize for God.
[8] What do we do by trusting infinite God, playing the role we’re assigned161, doing just as we think he would have us162?
Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do.
[9a]2p When self-reliance fails163 and problems—threats164—seem too big, what do we ask of Him?
We ask Him to remove our fear
[9b] And direct our attention where—instead of on our fears?
and direct our attention to what He would have us be.
[10] What happens when we skillfully handle fear as we do resentments165 by trusting the Infinite God to solve All our problems166?
At once, we commence to outgrow fear.
[1] After addressing resentment and fear, what’s the third “manifestation of self”167 the authors focus upon?
Now about sex.
[2] What is likely to be revealed by an honest and thorough inventory of our sex conduct?
Many of us needed an overhauling there.
[3] What should be our attitude in this matter?
But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question.
[4] What can easily happen when we consider this question or discuss it with someone?
It’s so easy to get way off the track.
[5] Why is it so easy to get off on the wrong track?
Here we find human opinions running to extremes—absurd extremes, perhaps.
[6] One camp of strongly held opinions declares sex to be what?
One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation.
[7] What does the opposite camp of strongly held opinions declare?
Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes.
[8] What opinion does this last group of voices seem to urge everyone to adopt?
They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isn’t the right kind.
[9] What makes these voices believe their view could solve all our problems?
They see its significance everywhere.
[10a]2p One side of opinions declares what to be proper?
One school would allow man no flavor for his fare
[10b] And the other school thinks we should do what?
and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet.
[11] What do we say to people who want to know what we think is proper?
We want to stay out of this controversy.
[12] But wait, isn’t it our job to straighten people out when they have questions?
We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone’s sex conduct.
[13] Because, after all, only a small minority or people have these problems, right?
We all have sex problems.
[14] What sort of alien creatures would we be if we didn’t have sex problems?
We’d hardly be human if we didn’t.
[15] When it comes to sex problems of all kinds affecting all human beings in many different ways, what is the one and only question this book seeks to answer?
What can we do about them?
[1] If we want to skillfully handle sex problems as we do resentments168 and fear169, where do we start170,171?
We reviewed our own conduct over the years past.
[2] Putting pen to paper, what do we ask ourselves to begin our “sex and other harms list”?
Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate?
[3] In our resentment inventory, we listed people who hurt us; who do we list in this inventory?
Whom had we hurt?
[4] What harms did we bring to others with selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate conduct?
Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?
[5a]2p Skillfully handling172 sex problems—past, present, future—means we must admit to ourselves what about each past or current situation?
Where were we at fault,
* See note at (Ch5~66.3)[6-7]—Webster’s 1937 “master”: to skillfully handle.
[5b] What question reveals our built-in ideals and bonus, points us toward what we might do to make amends in the future?
what should we have done instead?
[6a]2p Whether we’re dealing with resentments, fears, or sex problems, where do we write our answers?
We got this all down on paper
[6b] Having been brief173, thorough and honest174, when we’re done—what do we do with this paper?
and looked at it.
[1] How does it help us to write down the harms we’ve done to others and what we should have done instead?
In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life.
[2] With respect to what is proper sex conduct, do we have to ask somebody—or if we can be honest can we answer this question ourselves?
We subjected each relation to this test—was it selfish or not?
[3a]2p To answer this question going forward to Whom do we turn to restore our sanity175?
We asked God to mold our ideals
[3b] And for power176 to live according to the standards He sets, what else do we ask?
and help us to live up to them.
[4a]3p Tempted perhaps to think sex is bad, causes nothing but trouble, what do we remember?
We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given
[4b] Due to the fact that our sex-powers are God-given, what can we be sure about?
and therefore good,
[4c] Mindful of the many opinions on every side, what principles177 helps us know for ourselves what’s proper?
neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.
[1a]2p Have we begun to recognize our ideals about right and wrong?
Whatever our ideal turns out to be,
[1b] What can we ask God to help us do now178,179 which we seemed unable to do on our own before?
we must be willing to grow toward it.
[2a]2p As we have done following our other inventories180, after getting our wrongs down on paper, what Ninth Step instruction can we prepare to do right here in Step Four?
We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm,
[2b] What fundamental principle of the Ninth Step is mentioned only here in the Fourth Step?
provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing.
[3] Do we handle harms done in selfish sex behavior differently from other harms done?
In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem.
[4] What’s another important principle of the Ninth Step mentioned only here in the Fourth Step?
In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter.
[5] Are we willing to trust God to show us what to do to set each matter straight181?
The right answer will come, if we want it.
[1] When it comes to the many opinions about sex on all sides—whose is the only opinion that matters?
God alone can judge our sex situation.
[2a]2p Does it sometimes help to discuss such matters with someone?
Counsel with persons is often desirable,
[2b] But after all discussions conclude and all advice is given, whose directions do we choose to follow?
but we let God be the final judge.
[3] Why again do we want to stay out of controversies about sex182?
We realize that some people are as fanatical about sex as others are loose.
[4] In any discussion, what do we earnestly avoid either to give or to take?
We avoid hysterical thinking or advice.
[1] What has no one among us183 ever lived up to perfectly?
Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble?
[2] If we fall short of our ideals, does this mean we’re doomed to repeat Step One…again?!
Does this mean we are going to get drunk?
[3] What do some well-intentioned people say?
Some people tell us so.
[4] Despite their certainty, how much of what they say about this is true?
But this is only a half-truth.
[5] When we fall short, what does our future actually hinge upon?
It depends on us and on our motives.
[6a]4p When we make a mistake--no matter how big—where does the damage repair begin?
If we are sorry* for what we have done,
* Webster’s 1937 "sorry": Regret; Grieved for a loss, mistake; Feeling sorrow.
[6b] What vital role does our third step decision184, play in recovery from any mistake?
and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things,
[6c] When we regret a mistake, then put our will and life back into God’s care, what do we believe?
we believe we will be forgiven
[6d] What converts mistakes into assets185 that seem always to equip us just at the right time to help someone else facing similar circumstances?
and will have learned our lesson.
[7] But if we have no regrets or continue to run on self-will, what is sure to happen?
If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink.
[8] Is this just somebody’s thought, theory, opinion, or idea?
We are not theorizing.
[9] How did the first 100 become so certain about these things?
These are facts out of our experience.
[1a]4p Would the authors please review the precise instructions for skillfully handling sex problems including temptations?
To sum up about sex:
[1b] So first, what do we ask God to do to fix our broken sense of proper sex conduct186?
We earnestly pray for the right ideal,
[1c] Next, what do we keep asking God to give us187—especially in “questionable situations”188?
for guidance in each questionable situation,
[1d] Third, what can we ask to gain relief from our own thinking189?
for sanity,
[1e] And finally, what do we ask God to give us outright190—especially in a questionable situation?
and for the strength to do the right thing.
[2] How do we skillfully handle sex problems which don’t seem to go away?
If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others.
[3] Our very lives as "ex-problem thinkers" depends on our constant thought of others and their what191,192?
We think of their needs and work for them.
[4] Why must we throw ourselves into work and self-sacrifice193 for others?
This takes us out of ourselves.
[5a]2p What does this do for that part of our make-up which can cause much, much trouble?
It quiets the imperious urge,
* Webster’s 1937 "imperious": imperative; urgent, compelling.
[5b] What will happen if we don’t ask God for help and don’t throw ourselves into helping others?
when to yield would mean heartache.
[1] If we have carefully followed directions, what have we done so far?
If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot.
[2] What part of our inventory shows the results of us “playing God”194, of trying to run the whole show195,196,197?
We have listed and analyzed our resentments.
[3] Writing resentments down on paper helps us see what?
We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality.
[4] What do we see when we ignore what someone else did198 and look at our own wrongs199?
We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness.
[5a]2p What have we begun to learn about mastering*—i.e., “skillfully handling*”—resentments?
We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies,
* Note: see "(Ch5~66.3)200 "We saw that these resentments must be mastered*, but how?"
* Webster’s 1937 "master": To "skillfully handle" or defeat.
[5b] What is the “entirely different angle”201 from which we now look at people202 that makes this new attitude203 possible?
for we look on them as sick people.
[6a]2p What did we inventory204,205 which the book says holds “the key to the future”206, a new life of freedom207 and usefulness208?
We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct,
[6b] What Eighth Step instruction is essential for gaining the ability to skillfully handle resentments, fear, and sex problems?
and are willing
[6c] And what Step Nine instruction—before we are half way though209—completes our ability to skillfully handle resentments, fear, and sex problems?
to straighten out the past if we can.
[1] What did many of us discover when we put our will and life into God's care?
In this book you read again and again that faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves.
[2] If we have taken Steps One and Two, of what are we convinced?
We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him.
[3] If we have taken Steps Three and Four, how far have we come toward a new life of freedom and usefulness?
If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning.
[4] If we have carefully followed instructions through these four steps, what have we accomplished so far?
That being so you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself.
[1] Having swallowed some big chunks of truth about ourselves1, what's next?
Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it?
[2a]2p What is the main object of these Steps2, actually of the entire book3?
We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator,
[2b] Following the path of the First 1004,5 to find this new relationship6,7—what do our Fourth Step inventories help us see?
and to discover the obstacles in our path.
[3a]3p The wrongs we admitted8,9 along with the flaws in our make-up that led to such wrongs10 are the what in our character11,12?
We have admitted certain defects;
* Webster’s 1937 "character": The aggregate of a person's distinctive qualities, reputation, repute.
[3b] The flaws and wrongs we've identified is the what in our current situation13?
we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is;
[3c] Where do we clearly see the obstacles in our path to the new relationship just mentioned?
we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory.
[4] Steps Five through Nine do what with these obstacles?
Now these are about to be cast out.
[5a]3p For God to do His part to “materialize” this promise14, what is required on our part?
This requires action on our part,
[5b] And what exactly will be the action that’s required on our part?
which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being,
[5c] What’s another word the book uses to mean "the exact nature of our wrongs"15 and the damage done to our character by the wrongs we did to others?
the exact nature of our defects.
[6] If we believe we’ve been honest with ourselves about our wrongs—of both conduct and character—what step is next?
This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter.
[1] Admitting the history of our wrongs to someone can be what?
This is perhaps difficult—especially discussing our defects with another person.
[2] Making a good list of harms done might lead us to think what?
We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves.
[3] But, is it enough to admit the exact nature of our wrongs only to ourselves?
There is doubt about that.
[4] What has experience taught us?
In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient.
[5] Doing our part to remove these obstacles means we must do what16,17,?
Many of us thought it necessary to go much further.
[6] What will help us go further, to admit these things to another human being?
We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so.
[7a]2p And what reason should we consider first?
The best reason first:
[7b] What’s the best reason for telling someone the harms we’ve done18?
If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.
[8] If we haven’t quite let go of trying to manage our own lives19,20, what might we try to do?
Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives.
[9a]2p Not only fear but pride21 can make us do what?
Trying to avoid this humbling experience,
[9b] To avoid what we’re sure would be humiliation for us, we might do what?
they have turned to easier methods.
[10] What is the usual result of supposedly “easier” methods22?
Almost invariably they got drunk.
[11] Maybe we can hold some things back if we diligently apply ourselves to the rest of the steps?
Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell.
[12] What can cause a relapse even if we persevere through the rest of the program?
We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning.
[13a]2p Is the reason for our failure that we haven't really taken inventory?
They took inventory all right,
[13b] What might we do that simply won’t help?
but hung on to some of the worst items in stock.
[14a]2p What would fear and ego like to have us think?
They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear;
[14b] What would pride23 like to have us think?
they only thought they had humbled themselves.
[15a]3p What do we not learn until we tell our entire24 history to someone?
But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty,
[15b] How essential25 are humility, fearlessness, and honesty to the spiritual experience26,27 we hope to find28?
in the sense we find it necessary,
[15c] How will we know when we have learned these "guides to progress"29?
until they told someone else all their life story.
[1] What kind of life do most of us live who have this physical, mental, and spiritual malady30?
More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life.
[2] What seems to be our greatest talent?
He is very much the actor.
[3] What do we do to impress the world around us?
To the outer world he presents his stage character.
[4] Do we take pride in our stage character?
This is the one he likes his fellows to see.
[5] What is the maddening inconsistency of this double life?
He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it.
[1] What makes the inconsistency of our double life even worse?
The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees.
[2a]2p When the subtle insanity31 gets us “started again"32—how do we feel later?
Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes
[2b] How much of what just happened are we likely to remember?
he vaguely remembers.
[3] What makes us want to forget such memories?
These memories are a nightmare.
[4] What are we really afraid of?
He trembles to think someone might have observed him.
[5] As actors desperate to hide our true character, what do we do?
As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself.
[6] What’s the false hope of not admitting such memories, of pushing them far inside?
He hopes they will never see the light of day.
[7a]2p What does living this double life do to our peace of mind?
He is under constant fear and tension—
[7b] What does constantly tense and fearful thinking33 conclude is the solution to our constant fear and tension problem?
that makes for more drinking.
[1] Do phycologists generally agree that the fear and tension of the double life can drive various “isms”, addictions34, and dependencies?
Psychologists are inclined to agree with us.
[2] Have some of us spent money on psychologists hoping to find what’s wrong with our thinking35?
We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations.
[3] But do we really want their help?
We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break.
[4] Instead, do we keep “certain episodes”36 padlocked away from the light of day?
We have seldom told them the whole truth nor have we followed their advice.
[5a]2p What are we often unwilling to do even when we go to them for help?
Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men,
[5b] Well, maybe we can’t be honest with one or two professionals, but surely we can be honest with somebody?
we were honest with no one else.
[6] As a result, what opinion of us might some professionals have?
Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery!
[1a]3p How honest must we be with another person to complete the personal housecleaning we started in Step Four37,38?
We must be entirely honest with somebody
[1b] What’s the second39 good reason to be completely honest with someone?
if we expect to live long
[1c] And yet another good reason?
or happily in this world.
[2a]3p Does this mean we should now tell our history of "revolting episodes"40 to just anybody?
Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person
[2b] To be sure we tell our entire history, might we tell some parts of it to different people?
or persons
[2c] Why are we not obligated to tell our story to anybody and everybody?
with whom to take this intimate and confidential step.
[3] With whom should we take this step if our religious affiliation requires it?
Those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must, and of course, will want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it.
[4] Even if we don’t have a religious background, might we still want ask a clergyman?
Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion.
[5] Why might we want to ask an ordained minister to hear our history?
We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem.
[6] What’s one very practical reason to be careful about who we ask to hear our story?
Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics.
[1a]2p If we would rather not ask a clergyman to hear our history, who else might we ask?
If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance
[1b] What appears to be the three primary qualifications for the person we seek?
for a close-mouthed, understanding friend.
[2] Do we have a close-mouthed, understanding friend who happens also to be a professional?
Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person.
[3a]2p Maybe we have a family member who is a close-mouthed, understanding friend?
It may be one of our own family,
[3b] Who could we ask to hear much of our history, but maybe not all of it?
but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy.
[4] What important principle applies not only here but also in our Ninth step41,42?
We have no right to save our own skin at another person’s expense.
[5] What do we do with those parts of our story which could hurt someone close to us?
Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected.
[6] What's another principle43,44 here that applies in all our steps?
The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.
[1a]2p Repeating from above—what is absolutely necessary to live long or happily45?
Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone,
[1b] Should we ask anyone other than a close-mouthed, understanding, unaffected friend?
it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available.
[2a]2p Rather than choose someone who may be unsuitable, what should we do?
If that is so, this step may be postponed,
[2b] But in the case of postponement, what must we be ready to do at the first opportunity?
only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity.
[3] Why do we suggest just this one reason to postpone this vital step?
We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person.
[4] What other qualities should our close-mouthed, understanding, unaffected friend have?
It is important that he be able to keep a confidence; that he fully understand and approve what we are driving at; that he will not try to change our plan.
[5] But since we are looking for a suitable person—not a perfect person—what must we not do?
But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone.
[1] How urgent is it for us to approach a suitable person46,47 with whom we can be “entirely honest”48?
When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time.
[2a]2p What do we take with us49 when we go to meet this person?
We have a written inventory
[2b] How long might it take us to admit the exact nature of our wrongs50,51 to someone?
and we are prepared for a long talk.
[3] When we get there and we’re both settled, how do we start?
We explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it.
[4] What can we say to emphasize how important this opportunity is to us?
He should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and-death errand.
[5] How will most people feel to be asked to help us this way?
Most people approached in this way will be glad to help; they will be honored by our confidence.
[1a]2p What is the exact moment we commence to learn the fearlessness, humility, and honesty we need52?
We pocket our pride and go to it,
[1b] Remembering this is about our wrongs and no one else’s53, what do we tell?
illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past.
[2] What do we discover when we tell our entire history, holding nothing back?
Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted.
[3] What do we realize we can do afterwards which we could rarely do before?
We can look the world in the eye.
[4] Does finally admitting our wrongs to someone relieve “constant fear and tension”54?
We can be alone at perfect peace and ease.
[5] What happens to that one hundred forms of fear55 which drove our compulsion56?
Our fears fall from us.
[6] How does being entirely honest with someone improve our new relationship with our Creator57?
We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator.
[7a]2p What did we used to think "the realm of the Spirit"58 was all about?
We may have had certain spiritual beliefs,
[7b] What do we think now about the “world of the Spirit”59?
but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.
[8] What happens to that sense of hopelessness60 we used to have about our compulsive problem?
The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly.
[9] Whereas we used to believe life was hopelessness and futile61—what do we feel now?
We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
[1a]2p When we get back home, how do we complete our Fifth Step?
Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour,
[1b] What do we do during this quiet time?
carefully reviewing what we have done.
[2] As the result of being completely honest with someone, Whom have we come to know in a new, closer way?
We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better.
[3a]2p Where can we look to measure how thoroughly we are following the path62 of the First 100?
Taking this book down from our shelf
[3b] What pages in particular?
we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps.
[4a]3p What specific steps do we look at to gauge our progress?
Carefully reading the first five proposals
[4b] Have we been thoroughly honest about our defects of both conduct and of character?
we ask if we have omitted anything,
[4c] Why do we need to know how well we’re doing…where do we hope this work will take us?
for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.
[5-6]+2 Looking at our work, what must we be sure of before we move to Steps 6 & 7?
Is our work solid so far?
Are the stones properly in place?
[7-8]+2 Having seen that "complete willingness"63 is the foundation of our recovery64, what do we ask ourselves?
Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation?
Have we tried to make mortar without sand?
[1a]2p Have we been fearless, willing, humble, and honest with ourselves through the first Five Steps?
If we can answer to our satisfaction,
[1b] If so, then what’s next?
we then look at Step Six.
[2] What is indispensable in Step Six—just as it is in all the steps?
We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.
[3a]2p What question must we answer with absolute certainty before we take step Six?
Are we now ready
[3b] Whose job will it be from now on to fix character defects65?
to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?
[4] Are we ready to "Let Go" of fixing ourselves "and Let God" do the fixing?
Can He now take them all—every one?
[5a]2p Do we have some defect, some resentment that we can’t let go?
If we still cling to something we will not let go,
[5b] How do we put even the most stubborn defects into God’s hands?
we ask God to help us be willing.
[1a]4p What do we do when we’re ready to let God do the fixing?
When ready, we say something like this:
[1b] Who can we ask to remove our defects with confidence He can actually do it?
"My Creator,
[1c] What was our offer to our Maker in Step Three66 that we expand on here?
I am now willing that you should have all of me,
[1d] When we say "all of me", which do we mean—our good selves or bad selves?
good and bad.
[2a]2p What do we ask God to do with the things “which we admitted are objectionable”67?
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character
[2b] Which defects can we be certain God will remove?
which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
[3] What do we ask that we may “stay close to Him and do His work well”68?
Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding.
[4] And with what solemnity do we close our Seventh Step prayer?
Amen."
[5] What have we thus accomplished to be rid of character defects which we have admitted are objectionable69?
We have then completed Step Seven.
[1a]2p After addressing our “defects of character” in Steps 6-7, what’s needed to straighten out our “defects of conduct”70?
Now we need more action,
[1b] What MUST we do to keep alive our "new attitude, new relationship with our Creator"71?
without which we find that "Faith without works is dead."
[2] What Steps show exactly how to go out to amend our defects of conduct?
Let’s look at Steps Eight and Nine.
[3-4]+2 Perhaps without realizing it, how much Step Eight work did we already do in Step Four72?
We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends*.
We made it when we took inventory.
* Webster’s 1937 "amends": Compensation for loss or injury; recompense; reparation.
[5] What did we do to create this list of harms done73?
We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal.
[6a]2p Having asked God in Step Seven to make us useful to Him and to our fellows, now what do we do to be useful?
Now we go out to our fellows
[6b] When and where do we learn real usefulness to God and our fellows?
and repair the damage done in the past.
[7] Repairing the damage means we do what74 with God’s help and guidance75?
We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves.
[8] What if there are some on our list we’re just not willing to approach?
If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes.
[9] What motivates us to keep asking for willingness to make the amends we know we need to make?
Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.
[1] Even when we’re willing to approach those on our list, are we always eager?
Probably there are still some misgivings.
[2a]2p Who are the “the fellows” to whom we go to repair damage76?
As we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we have hurt,
[2b] How confident are we about approaching these fellows on the basis of “doing God’s bidding”77?
we may feel diffident* about going to some of them on a spiritual basis.
* Webster’s 1937 "diffident": Lacking confidence in oneself; unduly timid.
[3-4]+2 What should we not do on our first approach to some people?
Let us be reassured.
To some people we need not, and probably should not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach.
[5] What can easily happen?
We might prejudice them.
[6] What seems to motivate most of us when we go to make our first amends?
At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order.
[7] But is putting our lives back in order be our main purpose?
But this is not an end in itself.
[8a]2p What is the real purpose of Step Nine?
Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service
[8b] Clearing away past wreckage fits us to be useful78 to whom?
to God and the people about us.
[9] Again, why do we not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach to some people79?
It is seldom wise to approach an individual, who still smarts from our injustice to him, and announce that we have gone religious.
[10-11]+2 Announcing the spiritual feature on the first vist can bring what results?
In the prize ring, this would be called leading with the chin.
Why lay ourselves open to being branded fanatics or religious bores?
[12] How might such an approach turn out to be less than helpful to this person?
We may kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message.
[13-14]+2 What can we do instead to show a genuine change of heart?
But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong.
He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries.
* Note to study leader: For the Q&A, keep going here; include these next two sentences.
[1] But avoiding spiritual matters with some on our first approach80 is not an excuse to do what?
We don’t use this as an excuse for shying away from the subject of God.
[2a]3p When DO we carry the message of "His Love, His Power, and His Way of life"81?
When it will serve any good purpose,
[2b] When it might help, what are we willing to announce to anyone?
we are willing to announce our convictions
[2c] With those we might help, how must we discuss things which are spiritual in nature?
with tact and common sense.
* Note to study leader: Start the next Q&A paragraph here.
[3] How do we approach the worst offender on our amends list?
The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise.
[4a]3p Why might deep resentment82 make us want to say "Never!"?
It may be he has done us more harm than we have done him
[4b] If we carefully followed Step 4’s instruction asking God to help us show tolerance, pity, and patience83 to the person we hated84, what should have changed?
and, though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him,
[4c] Though we don’t like it, how do we begin our approach to someone to set right our wrongs85?
we are still not too keen about admitting our faults.
[5] What do we do because we are willing to go to any length86,87 "to get a new relationship with our Creator"88?
Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth.
[6a]2p What may make an approach to someone we hated (deeply resented) seem to be impossible?
It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend,
[6b] But we are we grateful to have this opportunity—why?
but we find it much more beneficial to us.
[7a]3p What again do we hope we gained in Step 4 which helps us approach the person we hated89?
We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit,
[7b] Besides making specific amends for bad conduct, what do we admit our anger and resentment?
confessing our former ill feeling
[7c] How do we convey sorrow for harms and ill feelings…here or to anyone?
and expressing our regret.
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[1] Even if someone harmed us more than we harmed them, what do we avoid like the plague90?
Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue.
[2] If the person asks why we want to make amends, what do we say?
Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past.
[3a]3p Fitting ourselves to be of maximum service91 means we are there to do what one thing?
We are there to sweep off our side of the street,
[3b] Because…how can we carry92 a beneficial message93 to someone we’ve harmed until we set matters straight with them94?
realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so,
[3c] To keep from creating more wreckage, what else must we avoid like the plague?
never trying to tell him what he should do.
[4] What do we not discuss under any circumstance, no matter what?
His faults are not discussed.
[5] Wait, what if he wants to discuss his faults?
We stick to our own.
[6a]2p How shall we strive to conduct ourselves throughout our approach?
If our manner is calm, frank, and open,
[6b] What is likely to be our experience if we stick to righting our wrongs and stay calm, frank, and open?
we will be gratified with the result.
[1] Though it's difficult to go to a person we hated95, what has been our actual results?
In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens.
[2] What do the authors say can happen when we admit our faults to someone we once considered to be an enemy?
Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years’ standing melt away in an hour.
[3] Does even an attempt to heal old wounds help equip us to be more useful and helpful going forward96?
Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress.
[4-5]+2 People we considered97 to be enemies sometimes even do what?
Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well.
Occasionally, they will offer assistance.
[6] Though we have no idea what will happen when we make our approach, does it matter what happens?
It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office.
[7-8]+2 No matter how they react, what have we done when we make our approach to set right our wrongs98?
We have made our demonstration, done our part.
It’s water over the dam.
[1] People who live in fear of financial insecurity eventually do what?
Most alcoholics owe money.
[2] Because it’s our aim now to be of maximum service99 to our fellows, what do we not to these particular fellows?
We do not dodge our creditors.
[3a]3p How do we approach creditors to pay the money we owe them?
Telling them what we are trying to do,
[3b] Fitting ourselves to be of maximum service means we will be honest with these fellows about what?
we make no bones about our drinking;
[3c] We may have thought we kept our malady carefully hidden, but what is likely?
they usually know it anyway, whether we think so or not.
[4] Depending on our new Employer100,101 means we are not afraid of what?
Nor are we afraid of disclosing our alcoholism on the theory it may cause financial harm.
[5] If we approach our creditors with the same frankness and openness as we did our enemies, what do creditors sometimes do?
Approached in this way, the most ruthless creditor will sometimes surprise us.
[6a]2p Are creditors sometimes willing to make terms with us if we make a practical offer?
Arranging the best deal we can
[6b] What do we express to creditors as we did our enemies102?
we let these people know we are sorry.
[7] How does living in fear prompt us to manage our finances?
Our drinking has made us slow to pay.
[8a]3p What must we do with financial fear to fit ourselves to be of maximum service?
We must lose our fear of creditors
[8b] To what lengths are we willing to go103 to put our finances in God’s hands104,105?
no matter how far we have to go,
[8c] What is likely to happen if we don’t trust the financial care and provision106 of our Maker107?
for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them.
[1] What other kinds of of wrongs are on our list which we may be afraid to face?
Perhaps we have committed a criminal offense which might land us in jail if it were known to the authorities.
[2] What is another difficulty we may fear to admit?
We may be short in our accounts and unable to make good.
[3a]2p Have we admitted these wrongs to a close-mouthed, unaffected friend108?
We have already admitted this in confidence to another person,
[3b] What might we still be worried?
but we are sure we would be imprisoned or lose our job if it were known.
[4] Do we fear the consequences even of minor wrongdoing?
Maybe it’s only a petty offense such as padding the expense account.
[5] How many of us have made one of these mistakes?
Most of us have done that sort of thing.
[6] Are we afraid to admit we deliberately skirted legal family responsibilities?
Maybe we are divorced, and have remarried but haven’t kept up the alimony to number one.
[7-8]+2 Are we afraid certain people may be trying to put us in jail?
She is indignant about it, and has a warrant out for our arrest.
That’s a common form of trouble too.
[1a]2p How many ways are there to make amends for all these kinds of past wrongs?
Although these reparations take innumerable forms,
[1b] Rather than detail every possible means of reparations, what does the book offer?
there are some general principles which we find guiding.
[2a]3p What makes us willing, even anxious109, to repair whatever damage we can?
Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience,
[2b] What do we ask God to show us about “each specific matter”110?
we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing,
[2c] Are we still willing go to any lengths to secure a new relationship with our Creator111,112?
no matter what the personal consequences may be.
[3a]2p What’s the fear we may ask God to remove113 in these cases?
We may lose our position or reputation or face jail,
[3b] How does the much greater fear of returning to insidious insanity114 actually help us?
but we are willing.
[4-5]+2 Why are we willing to do anything115 to improve our conscious contact with our Creator?
We have to be.
We must not shrink at anything.
[1] Before we rush out to make amends to someone, what must we consider very carefully?
Usually, however, other people are involved.
[2] What can happen if we go out making amends thinking only of putting our lives in order116?
Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly sacrifice others to save himself from the alcoholic pit.
[3-6]+4 What is an example of a potentially hasty or foolish amend?
A man we know had remarried.
Because of resentment and drinking, he had not paid alimony to his first wife.
She was furious.
She went to court and got an order for his arrest.
[7] What results had this fellow seen from taking the Steps so far?
He had commenced our way of life, had secured a position, and was getting his head above water.
[8] If he foolishly went to his ex-wife and asked her how he could make things right117, well..what had she already demanded?
It would have been impressive heroics if he had walked up to the Judge and said, "Here I am."
[1a]2p What did respected members of his group tell this man?
We thought he ought to be willing to do that if necessary,
[1b] What sound reasoning did they offer instead?
but if he were in jail he could provide nothing for either family.
[2-5]+4 What suggestion did they make which were consistent with previous instructions in this chapter118?
We suggested he write his first wife admitting his faults and asking forgiveness.
He did, and also sent a small amount of money.
He told her what he would try to do in the future.
He said he was perfectly willing to go to jail if she insisted.
[6] Did she insist that he go to jail which is what she had wanted in her anger?
Of course she did not, and the whole situation has long since been adjusted.
[1] What important principle do we wish to establish here about making amends119?
Before taking drastic action which might implicate other people we secure their consent.
[2a]4p When and only when do we take action which might affect "bystanders"?
If we have obtained permission,
[2b] How can we be certain we understand things from various points of views?
have consulted with others,
[2c] Once again, to Whom do we turn for guidance "in each specific matter"120?
asked God to help
[2d] Once we have discussed the matter with others and asked God for direction121, what must we do?
and the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink.
[1] What’s an example of applying several of these principles at once to make an amend?
This brings to mind a story about one of our friends.
[2] Did this story involve someone our friend "hated"122, what started the chain of events?
While drinking, he accepted a sum of money from a bitterly-hated business rival, giving him no receipt for it.
[3-5]+3 What did he know to be the wrong he committed?
He subsequently denied having received the money and used the incident as a basis for discrediting the man.
He thus used his own wrong-doing as a means of destroying the reputation of another.
In fact, his rival was ruined.
[1] Was our friend carrying considerable guilt, fear and tension?
He felt that he had done a wrong he could not possibly make right.
[2] How can the "subtle insanity"123 prevent us from taking necessary action124 which then keeps us stuck125?
If he opened that old affair, he was afraid it would destroy the reputation of his partner, disgrace his family and take away his means of livelihood.
[3] What principle–mentioned just above126—tempted him to be unwilling to set matters straight127?
What right had he to involve those dependent upon him?
[4] What did our friend ALREADY know he needed to do to repair the damage128?
How could he possibly make a public statement exonerating his rival?
[1a]2p What helped our friend get past the apparent conflict between these principles129?
After consulting with his wife and partner
[1b] Crushed by self-imposed crisis he could not ignore130, what choice131 did he make?
he came to the conclusion that it was better to take those risks than to stand before his Creator guilty of such ruinous slander.
[2] Where do "all men of faith"132 find courage and willingness133 to proceed with drastic action?
He saw that he had to place the outcome in God’s hands or he would soon start drinking again, and all would be lost anyhow.
[3-4]+2 Following the dictates134 of his Higher Power135, how did our friend begin this amend?
He attended church for the first time in many years.
After the sermon, he quietly got up and made an explanation.
[5-6]+2 When he put himself in God’s hands, how did God demonstrate what He could do136?
His action met widespread approval, and today he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town.
This all happened years ago.
[1] In what area of our lives is making amends perhaps the most difficult?
The chances are that we have domestic troubles.
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[2] Have we looked at the mistakes we made which brought these troubles?
Perhaps we are mixed up with women in a fashion we wouldn’t care to have advertised.
[3] Do many human beings have problems137 of this kind?
We doubt if, in this respect, alcoholics are fundamentally much worse than other people.
[4] How does selfishness in sex relations compound domestic problems?
But drinking does complicate sex relations in the home.
[5] What happens to spouses and children who live very long with a selfish, self-seeker?
After a few years with an alcoholic, a wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative.
[6] Should we blame our spouses when they are angry or don’t want to talk to us?
How could she be anything else?
[7] How can domestic trouble138 begin with yet another symptom of the "subtle insanity"139?
The husband begins to feel lonely, sorry for himself.
[8] How might self-centeredness and self-pity lead a person into yet another kind of addiction140?
He commences to look around in the night clubs, or their equivalent, for something besides liquor.
[9] Though they admit it is injurious141, what may some "consume" to find relief from restlessness, irritability and discontent142 which can become yet another cycle of dependency143?
Perhaps he is having a secret and exciting affair with "the girl who understands."
[10a]2p Do we sometimes drag a second innocent person into harmful situations?
In fairness we must say that she may understand,
[10b] What do we desperately want to know when we finally see the damage we’ve done?
but what are we going to do about a thing like that?
[11a]2p What does our conscience have to say about this sort of thing?
A man so involved often feels very remorseful at times,
[11b] How can remorse turn into guilt, shame, and great regret?
especially if he is married to a loyal and courageous girl who has literally gone through hell for him.
[1] Can we just ignore these difficulties hoping they will fix themselves?
Whatever the situation, we usually have to do something about it.
[2-3]+2 Should we unload something on a spouse they don’t already know144 about?
If we are sure our wife does not know, should we tell her?
Not always, we think.
[4] But, if our spouse already knows the broad outlines, should we provide details?
If she knows in a general way that we have been wild, should we tell her in detail?
[5] If she knows the broad outlines, obviously what we should we admit?
Undoubtedly we should admit our fault.
[6-7]+2 When we admit our fault, how might she react to the hurt and jealousy she may feel?
She may insist on knowing all the particulars.
She will want to know who the woman is and where she is.
[8] Shall we sacrifice "the girl who understood"145 to take the heat off ourselves146?
We feel we ought to say to her that we have no right to involve another person.
[9-10]+2 What can we say to address the wrong we’ve done without doing more harm?
We are sorry for what we have done and, God willing, it shall not be repeated.
More than that we cannot do; we have no right to go further.
[11a]3p Might circumstances warrant a different course in some cases?
Though there may be justifiable exceptions,
[11b] If we offer advice to someone in such a situation, what must we diligently avoid?
and though we wish to lay down no rule of any sort,
[11c] Why do we say we must avoid doing more harm to anyone involved?
we have often found this the best course to take.
[1] What should give us hope our spouses will someday truly forgive our terrible mistakes?
Our design for living is not a one-way street.
[2] Is learning to "master resentments" and forgive others good only for those in recovery?
It is as good for the wife as for the husband.
[3] What principle can we practice which spouses may one day choose to emulate147?
If we can forget, so can she.
[4] What is better in the first place than giving a spouse someone on whom to focus their anger?
It is better, however, that one does not needlessly name a person upon whom she can vent jealousy.
[1] Are there exceptions to this principle—limiting disclosure so as not to do more harm148?
Perhaps there are some cases where the utmost frankness is demanded.
[2] Who alone can make the tough decision for either course of action?
No outsider can appraise such an intimate situation.
[3] What beneficial decision about past wrongs may each member of the couple make?
It may be that both will decide that the way of good sense and loving kindness is to let by-gones be by-gones.
[4a]2p Where can each member of the couple find strength and direction to do the right thing149?
Each might pray about it,
[4b] What should be the focus of either member’s prayers?
having the other one’s happiness uppermost in mind.
[5] What destructive emotion should each member avoid if at all possible?
Keep it always in sight that we are dealing with that most terrible human emotion—jealousy.
[6] Can these actions—admitting our faults150, not sacrificing others to save our own skin151, forgetting past injuries152, and prayer for the happiness of our spouses153—be considered amends?
Good generalship may decide that the problem be attacked on the flank rather than risk a face-to-face combat.
[1] If our home has not been damaged by infidelity, are we all done with amends at home?
If we have no such complication, there is plenty we should do at home.
[2] Do some of us kid ourselves that everything is "fine" if we’ve quit some selfish behavior?
Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober.
[3] Isn’t "keeping sober" the bare minimum we must do to have a home in the first place?
Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn’t.
[4] Do we really have any idea how much damage we’ve done154?
But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated.
[5] How much patience have our families had with us?
Passing all understanding is the patience mothers and wives have had with alcoholics.
[6] What happened to many of us when family patience ran out?
Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead.
[1] What does running on self-will look like to those around us?
The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others.
[2-4]+3 What happens to any bystanders in the path of our destruction?
Hearts are broken.
Sweet relationships are dead.
Affections have been uprooted.
[5] What is the root of the trouble we make for ourselves155 especially at home?
Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil.
[6] What is something we might say if we don’t use the brains God has given us?
We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough.
[7-9]+3 Give an example of someone who seems to lack a brain altogether.
He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined.
To his wife, he remarked, "Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma.
Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin’?"
[1a]2p Will reconstruction of our homes take time?
Yes,
[1b] Will it be an overnight matter156,157?
there is a long period of reconstruction ahead.
[2] What must we do to start this long period of reconstruction?
We must take the lead.
[3] Is a gloomy, "What can I do to make things right?" apology the way to take the lead?
A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won’t fill the bill at all.
[4a]2p Does "taking the lead" mean we forget their mistakes158 and admit our own mistakes159 asking God what we should have done160 as well as what we should do now about each specific matter161,162?
We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it,
[4b] What do we avoid like the plague163?
being very careful not to criticize them.
[5] If we hadn’t done all the things we did, would our family have done all the things they did?
Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible.
[6a]2p So, what do we mean when we say, "We must take the lead"?
So we clean house with the family,
[6b] To do this work, what help do we ask from our new Director164 in our morning prayers?
asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.
[1a]2p What kind of life must we live if we are to take the lead in our homes?
The spiritual life
[1b] And this life is not what?
is not a theory.
[2] What must we do to take the lead—to lead by example and show patience, kindness, and love?
We have to live it.
[3] What do we do if the family doesn’t want our brand of spiritual life right now—or ever?
Unless one’s family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them.
[4] Though we may occasionally share our spiritual principles, what should we not do?
We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters.
[5] If we take this approach, what may we confidently hope to see someday?
They will change in time.
[6] What speaks louder than our criticism, admonition, and incessant talk of spiritual matters?
Our behavior will convince them more than our words.
[7] Again, why must we take the lead, why must we live the spiritual life?
We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone.
[1] Even if we are willing165 to make amends, what may be true?
There may be some wrongs we can never fully right.
[2] Under what conditions may we put these matters in God’s hands?
We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could.
[3] What can we do even if people are gone, too far away, or don’t want to see us?
Some people cannot be seen—we send them an honest letter.
[4] Under what circumstances might amends be postponed?
And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases.
[5] What do we do if there is no valid reason to postpone?
But we don’t delay if it can be avoided.
[6] To sum up, what six guidelines do we follow in our approach our fellows166 to right past wrongs?
We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping.
[7a]3p If we voiced our 3rd Step without reservation167, whose people are we now?
As God’s people
[7b] What do we—who were once dependent on others for approval and self-esteem—do now?
we stand on our feet;
[7c] Certain that our Creator takes us good and bad168, what do we not do?
we don’t crawl before anyone.
[1a]2p How much time, money, and effort are we willing to spend to clear away past wreckage169?
If we are painstaking* about this phase of our development,
* Webster’s 1937 "painstaking": Taking pains with constant diligence, persistence, and attention.
[1b] If we have begun making amends fearlessly and thoroughly170, what will we experience?
we will be amazed before we are half way through.
[2] What do we begin to experience instead of misery and depression171?
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
[3] Instead of horror and remorse172…what?
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
[4] Instead of fear and tension173…what?
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
[5] In place of the feeling that our lives were wasted174…what?
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
[6] Feelings of gratitude and a sense of purpose175 will replace what?
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
[7] Instead of ourselves, what do we become interested in176?
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
[8] What happens to all our little plans and designs177?
Self-seeking will slip away.
[9] Just how big are these changes in our lives178?
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
[10] What do we outgrow179?
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
[11] Instead of terror, bewilderment, frustration, and despair180…what?
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
[12] Once baffled and confused by the seeming futility of existence181…what?
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
[1] After reading with wonder the preceding paragraph, what could we ask?
Are these extravagant promises?
[2] Well, are they?
We think not.
[3] How do we know these promises are real?
They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
[4] What can we flatly declare based on what we have seen with our own eyes?
They will always materialize if we work for them.
[1a]2p If, Step by Step, we’ve followed the path which led to these promises182, where are we?
This thought brings us to Step Ten,
[1b] Step 10 suggests we continue to practice what principles from Steps 4 through 9?
which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along.
[2] Can we begin Steps 10, 11, and 12 while we set right our wrongs in Steps 8183 and Step 9184?
We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past.
[3] What have we found in this "New Way of Life"185, this "new relationship with our Creator"186?
We have entered the world of the Spirit.
[4] If our first function was to enter this world through the first 9 steps, what’s our next function?
Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness.
[5] How long does this growth187 in understanding and effectiveness usually take?
This is not an overnight matter.
[6] Ah OK, it is going to take what, a month or two if we really work at it?
It should continue for our lifetime.
[7] What warns us if we "let up on the spiritual program of action"188 and think mostly of ourselves189?
Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
[8a]2p When do we apply the precise instructions we learned in Step 4 to deal with selfishness, resentment, dishonesty, and fear?
When these crop up,
[8b] When do we follow the precise instructions we learned in Steps 6 and 7 to deal with character defects revealed by our selfishness, resentment, dishonesty, and fear?
we ask God at once to remove them.
[9a]2p When do we practice the precise instructions we learned in Step 5 to admit the exact nature of our wrongs to another human being?
We discuss them with someone immediately
[9b] When do we use the precise instructions we learned in Steps 8 and 9 to repair the damage we caused by our selfishness, resentment, dishonesty, or fear?
and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.
[10] How do we resume our growth in the world of the Spirit after a spell of selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, or fear?
Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
* Note to study leader: As an option, read the next question with the next paragraph.
[11] How has "our whole attitude toward life, our fellows, and God’s universe"190 changed?
Love and tolerance of others is our code.
[1] What real evidence is there that we are now living in the world of the Spirit?
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone—even alcohol.
[2] What happened when we chose to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity191, took a certain attitude toward that power192 and began to do certain simple things?
For by this time sanity will have returned.
[3] How do we know sanity has returned?
We will seldom be interested in liquor.
[4a]2p Since we’re still not saints, what can happen at the most unexpected times?
If tempted,
[4b] What else confirms that a Power greater than our own now keeps us sober?
we recoil from it as from a hot flame.
[5] Why do we believe it’s a Power greater than our ourselves and not our own efforts?
We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically.
[6] Maybe our new attitude is due to our hard work on defects and our efforts to form new habits?
We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part.
[7] Without any thought or effort?
It just comes!
[8] What do we call it when a Power greater than own accomplishes the seemingly impossible193 without any thought or effort on our part?
That is the miracle of it.
[9] But we do have to keep our guard up, fight the urges, avoid people, and not go places, right?
We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.
[10] How do we feel about our new life in the world of the Spirit?
We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected.
[11] Did we have to make solemn promises to quit forever?
We have not even sworn off.
[12] When we walk hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe194, what happens to our "main problem"195 which is our own thinking196?
Instead, the problem has been removed.
[13] In Step 5, we had the feeling that our former problem disappeared197…what do we think now?
It does not exist for us.
[14] What rarely troubles us when we rely on the infinite God198 rather than our finite selves199?
We are neither cocky nor are we afraid.
[15] How do the authors know this is what it is like to live in the world of the Spirit?
That is our experience.
[16] What one thing do we have to do to continue living in the world of the Spirit?
That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
[1] What is it inadvertently easy to do even when living in the world of the Spirit?
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels*.
* Webster’s 1937 "laurels": A crown made of laurel leaves, an evergreen tree of the Mediterranean—used by ancient Greeks to bestow honor and fame on champions in games and victors in battles.
[2a]2p What happens if we let up, if we rest on our past accomplishments?
We are headed for trouble if we do,
[2b] Why?
for alcohol is a subtle foe.
[3] We just read that our problem—insane thinking200—has been removed201, but are we cured?
We are not cured of alcoholism.
[4a]2p Hmmm, not cured….? So what does it mean to say insane thinking has been removed?
What we really have is a daily reprieve
[4b] What does our daily reprieve depend upon?
contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.
[5] What must we do to maintain a fit spiritual condition—i.e., sanity?
Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities.
[6a]2p Every day in all activities, what do we ask the Father of Light202?
"How can I best serve Thee—
[6b] What attitude203 keeps our thinking free of selfishness, resentment, dishonesty, and fear204?
Thy will (not mine) be done."
[7] How much attention must we give to this effort to maintain fit spiritual condition?
These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.
[8] How do we maintain this connection with our Creator205 and constantly seek to do His will?
We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish.
[9] The effort we make to stay close to Him and do His work206—to keep faith alive207—is what?
It is the proper use of the will.
[1] How much does the Big Book talk about this new "way of living that solves all problems"208?
Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power.
[2] What might we have begun to experience in this new relationship209?
If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us.
[3] How else does the book describe this experience210?
To some extent we have become God-conscious*.
* Note: see Appendix II, esp. Apx2~570/5684th.1
[4] How does this flow of His Spirit—or God-consciousness211—work in us?
We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense.
[5a]2p Once we begin to sense the flow of His Spirit, what should we do?
But we must go further
[5b] How do we improve conscious contact212 with "Him who has all knowledge and power"213?
and that means more action.
[1] What is the "more action"214 just mentioned which is needed to improve this "vital sixth sense"215?
Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation.
[2] Should we be timid about being people who talk to God?
We shouldn’t be shy* on this matter of prayer.
* Webster's 1937 "shy": Easily frightened, wary, timid.
[3] What might convince us that prayer is neither weak nor cowardly216?
Better men than we are using it constantly.
[4] When we let go of old ideas and put some effort into our prayers, what do we discover?
It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it.
[5] What would have been easy if the authors were not very sure about prayer?
It would be easy to be vague about this matter.
[6] But, since they were quite positive that prayer works, what do they offer us here?
Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions.
[1a]2p When do we review our Step Ten work we did today217 to maintain "fit spiritual condition"218?
When we retire at night,
[1b] With what attitude do we start this daily appraisal219 of our spiritual maintenance?
we constructively review our day.
[2] What "cropped up"220 which might have blocked221 conscious contact with our Creator222,223 today?
Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
[3] Do we need to admit we were wrong about something or treated someone badly today?
Do we owe an apology*?
* Webster's 1937 "apology": An acknowledgement intended as a reparation or expressive of regret.
[4] Were we afraid to be entirely honest224 with someone about something225?
Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once?
[5] How well did we avoid retaliation or argument226—were we patient and tolerant227?
Were we kind and loving toward all?
[6] What can we ask ourselves in this review which may help us grow in effectiveness228?
What could we have done better?
[7] Can we see where self-centeredness229 was the root of our troubles today?
Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
[8] Or unselfishly, how well did we "carry the vision of God’s will into all our activities"230,231?
Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?
[9a]2p What are we careful to avoid in our evening meditation?
But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection,
[9b] How do worries like these disrupt our "How can I best serve Thee"232 prayer and action?
for that would diminish our usefulness to others.
[10] If we regret our mistakes233 and want God to direct234 our lives going forward235, what do we ask?
After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.
[1-2]+2 Where do we begin this new day’s Step Ten work which we do every day in all activities236?
On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead.
We consider our plans for the day.
[3a]2p What do we ask God before we start thinking about our day or considering our plans?
Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking,
[3b] What do we especially ask God to do with our thinking?
especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.
[4a]2p Can we rely on God to do this—can we trust Him to direct our thinking?
Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance,
[4b] Is it by chance we have the power to reason, examine evidence, and draw conclusions237?
for after all God gave us brains to use.
[5] If our thinking is free of self-pity, dishonesty and self-seeking, where will our thought life238 be?
Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.
[1a]2p After we ask God to direct our thinking, what can we do with confidence239?
In thinking about our day
[1b] Will we be sure of our course in every situation that arises today?
we may face indecision.
[2] Though we may have a general idea about the day ahead, what uncertainty may arise?
We may not be able to determine which course to take.
[3] What help can we ask of God now for uncertainties which may arise later in the day?
Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision.
[4-5]+2 How confident can we be that God will provide the inspiration or guidance we need?
We relax and take it easy.
We don’t struggle.
[6] How does God provide guidance and direction as we go through the day?
We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.
[7] Do we get better at recognizing the right answers when they come?
What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind.
[8] Are we always going to get it right?
Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times.
[9] Is it OK to make mistakes240 and can we laugh about them when we do?
We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas.
[10] As we learn to trust this "vital sixth sense"241 what do we discover little by little?
Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration.
[11] How important is this intuitive ability to handle situations which used to baffle242 us?
We come to rely upon it.
[1a]3p When do we end Step 11 for the morning and resume our through-the-day Step 10 work?
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer
[1b] What is another way to stating the Step 10 prayer243; a.k.a. What is the only thing we need to know to "go out to do God’s bidding"244?
that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be,
[1c] What may we ask here which will prepare us for any eventuality through the day?
that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.
[2a]2p What do we especially ask as we consider beginning our work for the day?
We ask especially for freedom from self-will,
[2b] How can we avoid self-will in our prayers?
and are careful to make no request for ourselves only.
[3] On the other hand, what can we do if we’re thinking of others and "how we may meet their needs"245?
We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped.
[4] But again, freedom from "the bondage of self"246 means we carefully avoid what in prayer?
We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends.
[5a]2p Have we tried this anyway—praying for some end result we think would be great for us?
Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that
[5b] What finally convinces us to give up praying for what we think we need?
and it doesn’t work.
[6] Why is it yet another waste of time…to ask why "selfish prayers are a waste of time"?
You can easily see why.
[1] What else can we do to improve conscious contact with our Creator?
If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation.
[2] Do we neglect traditional religious practices, if we have them?
If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also.
[3] What criteria should we use to adapt these and other prayers to use in our meditations?
If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing.
[4] Besides prayers we may adapt from the Big Book, where else can we find useful prayers?
There are many helpful books also.
[5] Who would be only too glad to help247,248 if we ask them?
Suggestions about these may be obtained from one’s priest, minister, or rabbi.
[6] Can we let go of enough unreasoning prejudice249 to accept help from religious folks?
Be quick to see where religious people are right.
[7] Can religious people be helpful if we take care not to argue250,251 with them about religion?
Make use of what they offer.
[1] After we rise from our morning meditation252, what reminds us we are in our 10th Step through the day—both proactive "How can I best serve Thee–Thy will be done"253 and reactive "watching"
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.
[2a]2p Carrying the vision of God’s will into all our activities254 means we do what constantly?
We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show,
[2b] If we practice the 10th Step all day to stay fit spiritually255, what will we be saying all day?
humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done."
[3] If we follow these instructions, using our will power properly to maintain conscious contact with our Creator and staying in fit spiritual condition, what has less chance of "cropping up"256?
We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions.
[4] How more effective257 are we when not excited, fearful, angry, worried, or full of self-pity?
We become much more efficient.
[5] What are the health and wellness benefits of "doing as we think God would have us"258?
We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
[1] What is our experience with the proper exercise our will power259,260 along these lines?
It works—it really does.
[1] What else have most of us had problems with and how do these instructions help?
We alcoholics are undisciplined.
[2] What do we let God do for us when we pause, ask for the right thought or action, remind ourselves we no longer run the show, and say to ourselves many times each day, "Thy will be done"?
So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.
[1] Is that all it takes through the day to maintain "fit spiritual condition"261?
But this is not all.
[2] What else must we do to stay close to Him and to do His work well262?
There is action and more action.
[3a]2p What is the driving force behind all action taken in this program?
"Faith
[3b] What does it take to improve conscious contact with our Creator263, to keep faith alive264,265?
without works is dead."
[4] What is the next step in this spiritual program of action?
The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step Twelve.
[1] What activity is designed to keep us close to God and doing His work well1?
Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.
[2] Intensive work with both newcomers and old-timers does what?
It works when other activities fail.
[3] What are we to do with this message: "Remember, we deal with [an illness2,3,4,5] [a subtle insanity6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13]—cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us14. But there is One who has all power15—that One is God16. May you find Him now!"17,18
This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics!
[4] What can a person who has had a spiritual awakening19 do for someone who is still suffering20?
You can help when no one else can.
[5] Our personal experience* with our own seemingly hopeless21 condition equips us to do what?
You can secure their confidence when others fail.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[6] When working with a person who is still suffering, what must we always keep in mind?
Remember they are very ill.
[1] What is the promise of intensive work with both old-timers and newcomers?
Life will take on new meaning.
[2] What do we not want to miss from this intensive work?
To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss.
[3] From their experience, what did the First 100 know about all of us who came after them?
We know you will not want to miss it.
[4] Does "intensive work" with others refer only to working with newcomers?
Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
[1] What if we don’t know anyone who says they to want to quit insane22,23 behavior?
Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover.
[2] If there are no meetings or half-way houses nearby, how else can we find people to help?
You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals.
[3] What did the First 100 discover when they talked to doctors and ministers24,25,26?
They will be only too glad to assist you.
[4] What must we be careful to avoid when we approach doctors, ministers and others such as judges, police officers, bartenders, or even next-door neighbors who might be willing to help?
Don’t start out as an evangelist or reformer.
[5] If we come across as evangelists or reformers, what are we likely to encounter?
Unfortunately a lot of prejudice exists.
[6] What if we do spark the prejudice which unfortunately exists for evangelists and reformers?
You will be handicapped if you arouse it.
[7a]2p With what attitude do we approach those who might connect us to others who still suffer?
Ministers and doctors are competent and you can learn much from them if you wish,
[7b] What do recovered people have to offer people who are still sick?
but it happens that because of your own drinking experience you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics.
[8a]2p With what attitude do we approach anyone who might help us find others to work with?
So cooperate;
[8b] And what do we NEVER do no matter whether they help or cannot help?
never criticize.
[9] What is our only objective?
To be helpful is our only aim.
[1] What’s the first thing to do when God puts27 someone in our path who is still suffering?
When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him.
[2] What if the person likes his life, doesn’t see his difficulty, or doesn’t think he has a problem?
If he does not want to stop drinking, don’t waste time trying to persuade him.
[3] What can happen if we try to persuade—i.e., nag—someone who doesn’t want to sober up?
You may spoil a later opportunity.
[4] Who else should be told that nagging can be counterproductive or even backfire28?
This advice is given for his family also.
[5] What can both we and the family do to be most helpful to the person with a problem?
They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person.
[1a]3p How do we know when to proceed to carry the message29,30,31 to our prospect?
If there is any indication that he wants to stop,
[1b] If possible, who should we talk to before we make an approach to our prospect?
have a good talk with the person most interested in him—
[1c] Who is usually the person most interested, for example, if the prospect is a married man?
usually his wife.
[2a]5p What do we hope to learn about the prospect from the spouse, doctor, friend, parent, pastor, or even the prospect himself?
Get an idea of his behavior,
[2b] What can help us understand the kind of trouble is he having?
his problems,
[2c] What could help us understand how our prospect got to this point?
his background,
[2d] What can we learn about our prospect’s current physical, mental, and spiritual health?
the seriousness of his condition,
[2e] What might us understand the prospect’s ideas concerning spiritual matters?
and his religious leanings.
[3a]2p Why do we need all this information to help a person who already wants to stop?
You need this information to put yourself in his place,
[3b] What will it help us do if we can put ourselves in our prospect’s shoes?
to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned.
[1] After we find out all we can about our prospect, when should we make an approach?
Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge.
[2a]3p How might the family react if we think it best to wait for a binge?
The family may object to this,
[2b] What circumstance might require us to approach our prospect right away?
but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition,
[2c] How important is it to wait for the end of a binge when our prospect may be more receptive?
it is better to risk it.
[3a]2p Even then, why should we wait for the end of a binge before making an approach?
Don’t deal with him when he is very drunk,
[4b] Under what limited circumstances might we intervene to help someone who is still bingeing?
unless he is ugly and the family needs your help.
[5] When might be the best time to approach someone about quitting for good and all?
Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval.
[6a]3p What do we ask the family to do as soon as the spree ends?
Then let his family or a friend ask him
[6b] What can the family ask to find out if he is really ready for a solution?
if he wants to quit for good
[6c] What else should they ask to determine how serious he is about quitting?
and if he would go to any extreme to do so.
[7] What should the family do only if the prospect says "Yes" to both questions?
If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered.
[8a]2p Echoing what we tell doctors or ministers32, what should the family tell him about us?
You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him
[8b] Whose decision is it for him to see us or not?
if he cares to see you.
[1] Even if we know the fellow doesn’t want to see us, should we approach him anyway?
If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him.
[2a]2p If he doesn’t want to see us, should we ask his family or friend to urge him to call us?
Neither should the family hysterically plead with him to do anything,
[2b] Should the family try to impress the fellow about our recovery to get him to call us?
nor should they tell him much about you.
[3] If the prospect doesn’t want to see us, what should everyone interested in him keep doing?
They should wait for the end of his next drinking bout.
[4] Should we give a copy of the book to someone who is waiting for him to quit?
You might place this book where he can see it in the interval.
[5-6]+2 Who decides how long to wait, what to tell the prospect, and where to place the book?
Here no specific rule can be given.
The family must decide these things.
[7a]2p What do we say to anyone close to him who desperately wants to see him quit?
But urge them not to be over-anxious,
[7b] What can happen if they are anxious, nervous, impatient or nag him about getting sober?
for that might spoil matters.
[1] Though we might have told our history to his family or his friend, or to a doctor, minister or judge, when they tell the prospect about us, what should they not do?
Usually the family should not try to tell your story.
[2] After all this work with the family, shouldn’t we ask them to introduce us to the prospect?
When possible, avoid meeting a man through his family.
[3] What’s a better way to approach someone who may be ready to turn their life around?
Approach through a doctor or an institution is a better bet.
[4] Do we oppose treatment for someone who needs help with a physical or mental condition?
If your man needs hospitalization, he should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.
[5] How can our third-party allies get the prospect interested in finding recovery?
Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something in the way of a solution.
[1] If we’ve been cooperative with professional people and they trust us, what might they do?
When your man is better, the doctor might suggest a visit from you.
[2] The first time we meet with a fellow, what do we not mention?
Though you have talked with the family, leave them out of the first discussion.
[3] Why is it important not to refer to his family or friends on this first visit?
Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under no pressure.
[4] What do we hope our prospect will feel confident about?
He will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family.
[5] Again, when is the best time to call on someone who may be looking for a real solution33?
Call on him while he is still jittery.
[6] Why might it be helpful to call on our prospect when he has reached a new low?
He may be more receptive when depressed.
[1] Should we try to talk to our prospect if he has family, friends or other visitors with him?
See your man alone, if possible.
[2] Remembering he may be helping us more than we’re helping him34, how do we begin?
At first engage in general conversation.
[3] After a bit of news, weather and sports, where do we steer the conversation?
After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking.
[4a]2p What can we tell our prospect to help him see we understand his condition?
Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences
[4b] What can being honest about our "personal adventures*" help our prospect do?
to encourage him to speak of himself.
* The 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[5] When do we stop talking about ourselves so he can do some of the talking?
If he wishes to talk, let him do so.
[6] Why do we want to keep quiet and let our prospect do the talking?
You will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed.
[7a]2p If he doesn’t want to talk, what do we just continue to talk about?
If he is not communicative, give him a sketch of your drinking career
[7b] What part of our history might we touch upon but not talk about at this point?
up to the time you quit.
[8] But here, early in the process, what do we want to maintain a bit of mystery about?
But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished.
[9a]2p If he is in a serious mood, which of our "adventures" should we talk about?
If he is in a serious mood dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you,
[9b] Why are we careful to avoid being "preachy" while we tell our history?
being careful not to moralize or lecture.
[10] If our prospect is cheerful for the present, what do we tell him of our past catastrophes?
If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades.
[11] If we can laugh at our own insanity, what might he do?
Get him to tell some of his.
[1] When he sees we are as crazy as he is, how may we begin to describe ourselves?
When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic.
[2] If our crazy disasters capture his interest, what part of our story do we continue to dwell on?
Tell him how baffled you were, how you finally learned that you were sick.
[3] What can help him see we had the same trouble quitting as he seems to be having?
Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop.
[4] What may help him see his problem may be deeper and more impossible than he suspects?
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree.
[5] Where do we find more about the "peculiar mental twist"35,36,37 which led to our fiascos38?
We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.
[6] What can happen if we describe the mental twist39,40 as the chapter on alcoholism does?
If he is alcoholic, he will understand you at once.
[7] No matter how far down the scale we have gone41, how can our experience help42?
He will match your mental inconsistencies with some of his own.
[1a]2p What does it tell us if our prospect says he has tried everything, but cannot quit?
If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic,
[1b] Once we are sure he is one of us, what part of the message43 do we elaborate on?
begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady.
[2a]2p How can honesty about our personal history help him make his own determination?
Show him, from your own experience,
[2b] How do we describe our experience with our own subtle insanity44—our own thinking?
how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power.
* Webster’s 1937 "queer": Differing in some odd way; peculiar—Syn. See "strange".
[3a]2p To prevent coming across as preachers or evangelists45, what else should we avoid?
Don’t, at this stage, refer to this book,
[3b] But, what if he brings it up?
unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it.
[4-5]+2 Also, why do we avoid giving advice and stick to our own experience?
And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic.
Let him draw his own conclusion.
[6a]2p How can we tell if a person is just not ready to consider a new way of living?
If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking,
[6b] Rather than dump him, how can we keep the door open for a future opportunity?
tell him that possibly he can—if he is not too alcoholic.
[7] What can we say that conveys his peril without shutting the door on him?
But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself.
[1] As long as he will listen, what do we keep retelling from our own experience?
Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady.
[2] Speaking of this malady, what part of our experience do we stick to?
Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it.
[3] We may be anxious to talk about the steps, but what do we talk about instead?
Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience.
[4] What else can we say to help someone realize the seriousness of their condition?
Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament.
[5] Is this why his doctor might avoid telling him the real nature of his condition?
Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose.
[6a]2p What can we freely talk about which their doctor may not want to mention?
But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism
[6b] Why can we be happy to talk to him about the hopelessness of this subtle insanity46?
because you offer a solution.
[7] What can we accomplish if we can keep him focused on the hopelessness of the malady47?
You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic.
[8] Again, why is it important to make allies with third persons and tell them our history?
If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better.
[9] If we have stressed again and again our own struggles and the hopeless nature of our own condition with no mention of how we quit, what has the prospect likely become?
Even though your protege* may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well.
* Webster's 1937 "protege": One under the care and protection of another. (The only definition in 1937.)
[10] What question do we wait for our prospect to ask or to show he would like to ask?
Let him ask you that question, if he will.
[11] Having told our prospect what we were like48, what part of our history do we tell next?
Tell him exactly what happened to you.
[12] What is the most important point of the "what happened" part of our history?
Stress the spiritual feature freely.
[13] When talking with atheists or agnostics, what do we want to say about the spiritual feature?
If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God.
[14] Why are cola cans, door knobs, and table chairs poor choices for someone’s God concept?
He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him.
[15] Again, from Bill’s Story, what are the "essential requirements"49 of recovery?
The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.
[1] What kind of language do we use to explain spiritual principles to agnostics or atheists?
When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles.
[2] What may happen if we unwisely use theological terms to talk about spiritual principles?
There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused.
[3] How can we be helpful to people maybe handicapped50 by prejudice toward spiritual matters?
Don’t raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.
[1-3]+3 On the other hand, how do we talk about spiritual principles to a religious person?
Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination.
His religious education and training may be far superior to yours.
In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows.
[4] What may baffle someone who considers himself to be a faithful believer?
But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well.
[5] What truth is proven by someone who claims to be a faithful believer but cannot stay sober?
He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient.
[6] Why can’t faith alone stop the subtle insanity51 which always precedes regrettable conduct?
To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.
[7] What are we careful to avoid when trying to help a religious person?
Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion.
[8a]2p What does genuine humility look like when trying to help a religious person?
Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do,
[8b] But, what must we say fearlessly to a religious person to help him understand his plight?
but call to his attention the fact that however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not have applied it or he would not drink.
[9] How might our own struggles with a lack of real faith be helpful?
Perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well.
[10] Why do we avoid religious doctrine and terminology with people we’re trying to help?
We represent no particular faith or denomination.
[11a]2p What kind of spiritual principles is this program built upon?
We are dealing only with general principles
[11b] How do we know a generally accepted spiritual principle when we see one?
common to most denominations.
[1a]2p If he is still interested after we stress52 the spiritual feature of recovery, what can we do?
Outline the program of action,
[1b] How do we explain the program in personal terms without a litany of program jargon?
explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him.
[2] What do we tell our prospect is the reason we are glad for the opportunity to be helpful?
It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery.
[3] What do we tell him he has already done for us by allowing us to visit with him?
Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him.
[4a]2p If he is helping us more than we are helping him, who really owes who?
Make it plain he is under no obligation to you,
[4b] What do we tell our friend which also points him toward a life of lasting recovery?
that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties.
[5] How do we suggest our effort to help him is "Faith with works"—i.e., how God keeps us sober?
Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own.
[6] For his own good, how much pressure do we apply to get our friend into the Steps quickly?
Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to.
[7a]2p What if our prospect tells us he doesn’t think he needs this program right now?
You should not be offended if he wants to call it off,
[7b] Have we lost anything if he doesn’t immediately jump on board?
for he has helped you more than you have helped him.
[8a]2p Whether he wants to work with us or not, what attitude toward him do we maintain?
If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding,
[8b] What is our first objective with someone we seek to help…no matter what he decides?
you have perhaps made a friend.
[9-10]+2 Again, what did we hope to do with honest talk about the hopelessness of his malady?
Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism.
This is all to the good.
[11-12]+2 What good does it do our prospect to be disturbed about his hopeless predicament?
The more hopeless he feels, the better.
He will be more likely to follow your suggestions.
[1] What if our prospect thinks he can get well without taking all the steps we outlined?
Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program.
[2] For example, what if he says, "What an order, I can’t go through with it!"53?
He may rebel at the thought of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion with other people.
[3] How do we continue to demonstrate "sanity, quiet, and…human understanding"54?
Do not contradict such views.
[4] How may our own experience show we understand his "I’m-not-that-sick"55,56 thinking?
Tell him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action.
[5] On our first visit, we shared our experience, got him talking about his difficulties, aroused his curiosity as to how we recovered, talked about our decision to believe in God’s power, outlined the program, stressed the importance of helping others, and after all this, what do we mention last?
On your first visit tell him about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
[6] If he shows interest in the program of action just outlined, what do we give him?
If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book.
[1] What do we do when our friend seems have had enough talk for the present?
Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome.
[2] What’s the best help we can give someone who seems to be done talking?
Give him a chance to think it over.
[3] If our friend does want to talk, what do we talk about?
If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes.
[4a]2p Ironically, what at this early stage might be a bad sign for our prospect’s recovery?
Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once,
[4b] What if we’ve been told to get our prospect busy in the steps at once or else we’re killing him?
and you may be tempted to let him do so.
[5] Should we start someone in the steps without careful attention to this instruction?
This is sometimes a mistake.
[6] Might a very ill person who yet doesn’t want to quit just be looking for someone to blame?
If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him.
[7] What is another attitude that will give us our best shot at helping this or any other fellow?
You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform.
[8a]2p Can pride about being a "wise sponsor"—someone who knows it all—get in the way?
Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop;
[8b] What is a sponsor’s job—neither more nor less?
simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection.
[9] What will be most effective—telling someone how to work the steps or showing them?
Show him how they worked with you.
[10] How does the fellowship we "crave"57 grow up around us58?
Offer him friendship and fellowship.
[11a]2p What is the one sincere desire our prospect must have to obtain our help?
Tell him that if he wants to get well
[11b] If he is willing to go to any length, to what length are we willing to go?
you will do anything to help.
[1a]4p What may be the only reason we might choose not to help someone?
If he is not interested in your solution,
[1b] How can we tell if really he is just not interested in the solution?
if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties
[1c] Or perhaps some newcomers are just looking for someone to talk to after a bad day?
or a nurse for his sprees,
[1d] What might we have to do if their expectations are anything but how to find a new relationship with their Creator which will solve their problem?
you may have to drop him until he changes his mind.
[2] How might the "great persuader"59 of a "habit…he cannot break"60 change his mind?
This he may do after he gets hurt some more.
[1] So, after we told our prospect how we recovered, outlined the program, made him a friend, described the fellowship, gave him time to think it over, and gave him a book, if he seems sincerely interested, what is the very first assignment we give him?
If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval.
[2] After we ask him to read the book, what do we the wait for him to do?
After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on.
[3] But, isn’t it our job to kick our prospect in the pants, put the fear into him that if he doesn’t get busy, he going to lose our help, then suffer more trouble and die either quickly or slowly?
He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends.
[4a]2p What must be a person’s only motivation to succeed with this program61?
If he is to find God,
[4b]2 And where62 must that motivation come from?
the desire must come from within.
[1] What do we say to a person whose "face falls"63 when we mention the God idea?
If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience.
[2] On the other hand, practicing genuine humility per our 12th Tradition reminds us of what?
We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us.
[3] If he doesn’t want what we have, how can we keep the door open for a future opportunity64?
But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly.
[4] And on that friendly note, what do we do?
Let it go at that.
[1] If our prospect isn’t desperate right now, have we failed—is our prospect lost forever?
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once.
[2] Step 12 says that we "try" to carry this message65,66,67 and so we tried…but, now what?
Search out another alcoholic and try again.
[3a]2p If we keep trying—as Step 12 suggests—what sort of person are we certain to find?
You are sure to find someone desperate enough
[3b] How will someone respond who is motivated by desperation to be free of their addiction68?
to accept with eagerness what you offer.
[4] Chasing a person who is not desperate is what?
We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you.
[5] What might more calamity69 do for someone "who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program"70?
If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself.
[6] If we chase a person who cannot or will not work with us, who might be hurt?
To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy.
[7] Are we sometimes told we don’t know how to do things these days, that the first 100 were almost always successful?
One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects.
[8] What can we be doing while we leave people alone who don’t want to work with us?
He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
[1] After we identified a prospect, found out everything we could about him, shared our experience, got him talking about his difficulties, aroused his curiosity about our own recovery, talked about our decision to make God our Director, outlined the program, stressed the importance of helping others, told him about the fellowship, and if he seemed interested, gave him a book plus time to think it all over, but then when he seemed sincerely interested, instead of rushing him we told him to read the book and then waited for him to call us…now if our prospect has read the book and called us back what do we do?
Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man.
[2] What tells us he is ready and determined to complete the program?
He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery.
[3] If we found freedom by taking all twelve steps, what do we have that’s of real value to him?
Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice.
[4a]2p So now, if we consider ourselves to be this fellow’s "sponsor", should we demand that he take his 3rd and 5th Steps with us?
Let him know you are available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story,
[4b] But, what do chapters Five71 and Six72 tell us about whose decisions these are?
but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else.
[1-2]+2 So long as our prospect is taking all Twelve Steps73, what are we willing to do to help?
He may be broke and homeless.
If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance.
[3] Though we put our finances74,75,76 in God’s hands, should we try to buy sobriety for the new man?
But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have.
[4] What else might we be willing to do for a person who really wants this solution?
Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days.
[5-6a]2p+2 Should our family take a back seat when we trying to help someone?
But be sure you use discretion.
Be certain he will be welcomed by your family,
[6b] Should our help be contingent on anything other than our prospect’s desire to recover?
and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter.
[7] What are we doing if we help someone who seeks only money or a nursemaid for his sprees?
Permit that and you only harm him.
[8] How could providing money, connections, or shelter to someone hurt them?
You will be making it possible for him to be insincere.
[9] What harm may we do if we offer that sort of help to someone who doesn’t want the program?
You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his recovery.
[1a]2p So long as a person really wants to get well, what do we do with our time and money?
Never avoid these responsibilities,
[1b] Before we take on any new responsibility, however, of what must we be certain?
but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them.
[2] If a new relationship with our Creator is our cornerstone77, what is the foundation stone?
Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.
Note: See:(Ch5~63.1)[3] Our new Employer provides what we need, if we keep close to Him—[cornerstone]—and do His work well—[foundation stone].
[3] Can a strong foundation be built by dripping out a little help to someone every now and then?
A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough.
[4] What is a good example of the kind of effort it takes to build a strong foundation?
You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be.
[5-13]+9 Is this what the "every-day-in-all-activities" Step 10 prayer78 looks like in actual practice?
It may mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business.
It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums.
Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night.
Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected.
A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress.
You may have to fight with him if he is violent.
Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction.
Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance.
Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions.
[1] What limits might we set on helping newcomers to meet their basic needs?
We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes for long at a time.
[2] Why do we set such limits on helping someone who wants to get well?
It is not good for him, and it sometimes creates serious complications in a family.
[1] What if our prospect doesn’t think he has a problem79,80, thinks he can recover in some other way81, prefers a different spiritual approach82, wants to rush into the steps for some reason other than a new way of life83, or…we gave him a book and we do not hear back from him84?
Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family.
[2] Maybe our friend doesn’t want help right now, but what attitude do we keep toward his family?
You should continue to be friendly to them
[3] Working to help our friend’s neurotic85 family, what can we do with this message: "No human power could have relieved (...the subtle insanity86,87...), but God could and would if He were sought88."
The family should be offered your way of life.
[4] How might it help our prospect if the family adopts the principles of this program?
Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better chance that the head of the family will recover.
[5] And how will it help the family if the family begins to practice this design for living?
And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable.
[1] How can we tell when a prospect is determined to embrace this new way of life?
For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of the word, is needed or wanted.
[2] What’s wrong with a prospect demanding financial help before "making a decision"89?
The men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the wrong track.
[3] When someone is willing to go to any length to recover, to what length are we willing to go90?
Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things, when such action is warranted.
[4a]2p Giving to someone who is working to recover but not to someone who isn’t seems what?
This may seem inconsistent,
[4b] Is it really inconsistent when our giving helps one to get better but another to get worse?
but we think it is not.
[1] Can prudent giving be important in helping someone achieve sobriety?
It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give.
[2] What difference can thoughtful and prudent giving make?
That often makes the difference between failure and success.
[3] How can imprudent giving do more harm than good?
The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God.
[4] Once a self-seeker thinks he can take advantage of our desire to help, what does he do?
He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for.
[5] What do we call the notion that truly sad cases cannot recover without material help?
Nonsense.
[6a]5p What has it taken for some of us to learn this lesson?
Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth:
[6b] Do we need a job to get well?
Job or no job—
[6c] Do we need a spouse to get well?
wife or no wife—
[6d] What have we learned we can’t do so long as we use other people as life preservers?
we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people
[6e] In the end, what makes it possible for us to swim to shore without fear of drowning?
ahead of dependence on God..
[1] What do we pour like hot coal onto the head of anyone who doubts their ability to recover?
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone.
[2] What’s a short, easy-to-remember description of the essential requirements91 for recovery?
The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.
[1] Speaking of "cleaning house", what problems may our prospect have at home?
Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations.
[2a]2p Have we already followed Step 9’s directions for the "long period of reconstruction"92?
When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living,
[2b] What did Chapter 6 say about there being "plenty we should do at home"93?
he should proceed to put those principles into action at home.
[3] Thanks only to the patience of parents and spouses94, what do some of us have?
That is, if he is lucky enough to have a home.
[4a]2p What is likely to be true if our friend is having "domestic problems"?
Though his family be at fault in many respects,
[4b] What do we tell a fellow who is unhappy about his family’s faults?
he should not be concerned about that.
[5] Unless the family expresses a desire to live on spiritual principles95, what should we do?
He should concentrate on his own spiritual demonstration.
[6] What do we suggest our friend avoid at all costs to keep life simple and happy?
Argument and fault-finding are to be avoided like the plague.
[7] Why is it important for us to remind our friend of this important principle?
In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected.
[8] What is the promise of steadfastly avoiding argument and fault-finding at home?
If persisted in for a few months, the effect on a man’s family is sure to be great.
[9] Simply by avoiding fault-finding and argument, what may two people discover?
The most incompatible people discover they have a basis upon which they can meet.
[10] When our families lose their fear of our criticism, what might they do?
Little by little the family may see their own defects and admit them.
[11] As their fear of being criticized lessens, what might they trust us to do with their faults?
These can then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and friendliness.
[1] If we begin to practice these principles in our own lives, what might the family do?
After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along.
[2a]2p Do we trust our Creator to make the changes96 in our families as He sees fit97?
These things will come to pass naturally and in good time
[2b] What role do we play in the work God may be doing in our families?
provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does.
[3] How many of us maintain perfect adherence to these principles98?
Of course, we all fall much below this standard many times.
[4a]2p When we do fall short99 as we often do, how quickly must we make amends100?
But we must try to repair the damage immediately
[4b] What will happen if we are not sorry and our conduct continues to harm others101?
lest we pay the penalty by a spree.
[1] Should a family wrecked by self-centeredness be in a hurry to get back together?
If there be divorce or separation, there should be no undue haste for the couple to get together.
[2] What should be the first priority for the person who was mainly responsible102 for the wreckage?
The man should be sure of his recovery.
[3] If the spouse is willing, what can be done which will help both spouses?
The wife should fully understand his new way of life.
[4a]2p What must the couple establish before they get back together?
If their old relationship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis,
[4b] Why should the couple want their relationship to be built on a better basis?
since the former did not work.
[5] What would a basis built on spiritual principles mean for their new relationship103?
This means a new attitude and spirit all around.
[6] If they cannot secure their relationship on a better basis, what might be best?
Sometimes it is to the best interests of all concerned that a couple remain apart.
[7] Do we have a list of settled, pat answers for such situations?
Obviously, no rule can be laid down.
[8] What should the recovering person focus upon…whether he still has a home or not?
Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day.
[9] How will our Director show us when or even whether it’s time to reunite a family?
When the time for living together has come, it will be apparent to both parties.
[1] How do we help someone trapped in Step One see dependence on others doesn’t save us?
Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back.
[2] What do we say to a very sick person making such claims?
This just isn’t so.
[3] What’s the first thing that tells us this "we-must-get-the-family-back" idea is nonsense?
In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another.
[4] Does our recovery depend on anybody doing anything to make things easy for us?
Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people.
[5] Without evasion, ambiguity, or any equivocation, what does our recovery depend upon?
It is dependent upon his relationship with God.
[6] What’s the second thing which tells us we can recover regardless of what anybody does?
We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all.
[7] What can happen if someone puts getting their family back ahead of their recovery?
We have seen others slip when the family came back too soon.
[1] Having established a new relationship with our Creator—or in other words, having "entered the world of the Spirit"104—what is our next function105?
Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress.
[2] What will happen when we carry the vision of God’s will into all our activities106 every day?
If you persist, remarkable things will happen.
[3] When we sincerely decide that "God [is] going to be our Director"107, what do we discover?
When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.
[4a]2p What will we do when we start asking "How can I best serve Thee—Thy will be done"108?
Follow the dictates of a Higher Power
* Webster’s 1937 "dictates": An authoritative direction, rule, etc.; a command; as, the dictates of conscience.
[4b] What will happen if we "stay close to Him and do His work"109 to the best of our ability?
and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world,
[4c] How can such a promise come true especially if our present circumstances seem hopeless?
no matter what your present circumstances!
[1] What rule must we follow when working with newcomers or "oldcomers"110 and their families?
When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels.
[2] What can happen if we take either side in a family quarrel?
You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.
[3] What do we urge our friend’s family to understand if we have a chance to speak with them?
But urge upon a man’s family that he has been a very sick person and should be treated accordingly.
[4] What should we warn them about in particular?
You should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy.
[5] What is the truth about his—as well as our own—many shortcomings?
You should point out that his defects of character are not going to disappear over night.
[6] But, will our behavior change in time like "a seed sprouting in new soil"111?
Show them that he has entered upon a period of growth.
[7] What happy fact suggests that our best days, for all of us, are yet to come112?
Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety.
[1a]2p What is the only thing that might qualify us to help others solve domestic problems?
If you have been successful in solving your own domestic problems,
[1b] What can we tell the family about forgiving and forgetting113, about praying for each other’s happiness114, about frankly analyzing the past and admitting our own faults115, about asking God to help us show the family patience, tolerance, kindness, and love116, about practicing the principles starting in our homes117, and about avoiding fault-finding, argument and criticism118?
tell the newcomer’s family how that was accomplished.
[2] What results may we expect if we stick to telling our experience rather than giving advice?
In this way you can set them on the right track without becoming critical of them.
[3] How more effective is sharing our experience than telling others what they’re doing wrong?
The story of how you and your wife settled your difficulties is worth any amount of criticism.
[1] What limits our reach when we carry the vision of God’s will into all our activities119?
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do.
[2] Do some people tell us this is a program about avoiding temptations?
People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.
[3] What did the First 100 think of plans based on avoiding temptation as a way to stay sober?
Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
[1] What does having a new attitude and new relationship with our Creator120 allow us to do121?
We meet these conditions every day.
[2a]2p What should a person realize who is still suffering from their "subtle insanity"122,123?
An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind;
[2b] Is having an "alcoholic mind" another way of saying we are still "living on self-will"124?
there is something the matter with his spiritual status.
[3a]2p If we haven’t found a Power greater than our own power125, what chance is our sobriety?
His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap,
[3b] No matter where we run, what kind of craziness is likely to follow us?
and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!
[4] Who knows better than anyone the futility of such human powered efforts to stay sober?
Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
[1] What did the First 100 think about human powered efforts to control their subtle insanity126?
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure.
[2a]3p If we don’t yet trust God to keep us sober, what might we hope would work instead?
If the alcoholic tries to shield himself
[2b] How well does constant effort to avoid temptation seem to work at first?
he may succeed for a time,
[2c] What usually happens127?
but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever.
[3] What did the First 100 know about firm resolves to avoid temptation?
We have tried these methods.
[4] What must we finally admit to ourselves128 about our best efforts to keep ourselves sober?
These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
[1] When we carry the vision of God’s will into all activities129, what can we do, where can we go?
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there.
[2] Does this include even lively get-togethers with friends?
That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties*.
* Webster’s 1937 "whoopee party": An lively time of hilarity and fun. As in "whooping it up".
[3a]2p What do people think who have tried to control their own—or another’s—compulsions?
To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence,
[3b] But, what has reliance "on [the] Infinite God rather than our finite selves"130 proven?
but it isn’t.
[1] How do the authors suggest we avoid fooling ourselves?
You will note that we made an important qualification.
[2-3]+2 What do we honestly ask ourselves before we go anywhere?
Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place?
Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?"
[4] Well, do we have a good reason or not?
If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension.
[5] If we do have a good reason, what are our options?
Go or stay away, whichever seems best.
[6a]2p But before we go, have we asked Him who has all power, "How can I best serve Thee?131"
But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start
[6b] And, is our purpose "to be of maximum service to God and the people around us"132?
and that your motive in going is thoroughly good.
[7] From the moment we decide to go, what kind of thinking must we avoid?
Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion.
[8] Instead, what should be our "constant"133 thought?
Think of what you can bring to it.
[9] What should we do if we have doubts about our motives or our spiritual condition134?
But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!
[1] Do we really want to flirt with self-pity…ever?
Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days.
[2a]2p If it is a happy occasion, what should be our objective?
If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there;
[2b] What if it is a business occasion?
if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically.
[3] What if we are riding with Jim the car-salesman and he stops for a sandwich at a roadside bar?
If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along.
[4] Why don’t we ask our friends to take responsibility for our sobriety?
Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account.
[5] If our friends want to know why we do not join them, what do we tell them?
At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you.
[6] When we explain how our subtle insanity is quicksand135 for us, how do they normally react?
If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink.
[7] What did we used to do when we were stuck in spiritual malady?
While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little.
[8-9]+2 Now that our whole attitude and outlook has changed, what do we do?
Now you are getting back into the social life of this world.
Don’t start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.
[1a]2p What exactly IS our job while we stick close to our New Employer to do His work well136?
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others,
[1b] Should we worry where any of the jobs he gives us might take us?
so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.
[2] Where should we not hesitate to go on any errand to help someone?
You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand.
[3] How can we be sure God’s Power keeps us sober137 and it’s not our own power138?
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.
[1] Do we still keep food in our fridges, watch our favorite movies, and sometimes play cards?
Many of us keep liquor in our homes.
[2-3]+2 The question is WHY do we keep these activities in our lives; what is our motive?
We often need it to carry green recruits through a severe hangover.
Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic.
[4] But, what do others of us think we could do to more be helpful?
But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone.
[5] Reminding ourselves we no longer run the show, who’s side of this issue do we take?
We never argue this question.
[6] What attitude is consistent with the principle that "…we let God be the final judge"139?
We feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves.
* Note to study leader: For continuity, consider continuing the Q/A into the next paragraph.
[1] Since liquor was but a symptom140, what is our attitude toward symptoms in general?
We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution.
[2] How helpful are we when we play the role of evangelist or reformer141?
Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone.
[3a]2p When newcomers join us seeking help, what are they wary of seeing in us?
Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us
[3b] When they see no intolerance or hatred of businesses or industries, how do they react?
and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witch-burners.
[4a]2p How might intolerance towards the symptoms of our illness affect those we would help?
A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved,
[4b] What do we call expressed attitudes or actions which get in the way of helping others?
had it not been for such stupidity.
[5] But shouldn’t we take a stand against such evil institutions as a way to promote moderation?
We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it.
[1a]2p What do we hope to accomplish with purposeful public information campaigns?
Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem,
[2b] Why do we avoid a direct campaign against the horrors of any industry?
but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility.
[3] How will people we’d like to help react to such a campaign?
Drinkers will not stand for it.
[1] What is the real reason we don’t campaign against any industry or any substance?
After all, our problems were of our own making.
[2] What about all the trouble these industries seemed to cause us?
Bottles were only a symbol.
[3] Why would crusading against the symptoms run counter to the new lives we live?
Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything.
[4] And why have we stopped fighting the universe142?
We have to!
[1] In the 1930s, what group seemed to display the most visible symptoms of the illness1?
With few exceptions, our book thus far has spoken of men.
[2] But, is this seemingly hopeless condition any respecter of persons?
But what we have said applies quite as much to women.
[3] Are we as willing to acquaint women as we are men with the message2,34 of this program?
Our activities in behalf of women who drink are on the increase.
[4] Does the spiritual program of action work as well for women as it does for men?
There is every evidence that women regain their health as readily as men if they try our suggestions.
[1a]2p Does selfishness-self-centeredness5 really hurt no one?
But for every man who drinks others are involved—
[1b] Who are usually the first people to be harmed by thoughtless self-seeking?
the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the mother and father who see their son wasting away.
[1a]3p Who has as big a problem with the spiritual malady as the obvious sufferers?
Among us are wives, relatives and friends
[1b] Can the spiritual program of action help people whose symptoms are selfishness and self-pity?
whose problem has been solved,
[1c] Has everyone who comes to the program found a solution?
as well as some who have not yet found a happy solution.
[2] Who can help people caught in the same spiritual malady as the one addressed in this chapter?
We want the wives of Alcoholics Anonymous to address the wives of men who drink too much.
[3] Who do the authors hope will find this chapter to be helpful?
What they say will apply to nearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection to an alcoholic.
[1] What does anyone recovered from the spiritual malady have to offer others still looking?
As wives of Alcoholics Anonymous, we would like you to feel that we understand as perhaps few can.
[2] How were the spouse’s instructions for dealing with the spiritual malady developed?
We want to analyze mistakes we have made.
[3] What lesson did the recovered spouses learn from analyzing and correcting their mistakes?
We want to leave you with the feeling that no situation is too difficult and no unhappiness too great to be overcome.
[1] Does everyone who follows this path have a smooth journey to recovery?
We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake about that.
[2-3]+2 What symptoms afflicts almost anyone suffering from the spiritual malady?
We have had long rendezvous with hurt pride, frustration, self-pity, misunderstanding and fear.
These are not pleasant companions.
[4] The spiritual malady drives people to what?
We have been driven to maudlin sympathy, to bitter resentment.
* Webster’s 1937 "maudlin": Effusive [syn.: unduly demonstrative; gushing]; "...effusive sympathy".
[5a]2p What are some more symptoms of the spiritual malady?
Some of us veered from extreme to extreme,
[5b] What do most of us think the solution to all our own symptoms would be?
ever hoping that one day our loved ones would be themselves once more.
[1a]3p What do people think motivates them to rehabilitate others?
Our loyalty
[1b] How does the "subtle insanity"6,7,8,9,10,11,12 motivate someone to want to fix other people?
and the desire that our husbands hold up their heads and be like other men
[1c] What are the inevitable results of such efforts?
have begotten all sorts of predicaments.
[2] While trying to make someone become like others—what do people believe about themselves?
We have been unselfish and self-sacrificing.
[3-10]+8 What are some methods13 people have tried to reform "the person who has the problem"?
We have told innumerable lies to protect our pride and our husbands’ reputations.
We have prayed, we have begged, we have been patient.
We have struck out viciously.
We have run away.
We have been hysterical.
We have been terror stricken.
We have sought sympathy.
We have had retaliatory love affairs with other men.
[1] What characterizes most homes where the subtle insanity14,15,16 ricochets around unhindered?
Our homes have been battle-grounds many an evening.
[2] Where does each new round of this perpetual cycle17 begin?
In the morning we have kissed and made up.
[3a]4p What do well-meaning friends with very different18 experiences suggest?
Our friends have counseled chucking the men
[3b] And people who desperately—symptomatically—seek the approval of their friends do what?
and we have done so with finality,
[3c] But, what do they do when fear, restlessness, irritability, and self-pity return?
only to be back in a little while
[3d] What is the obsession of sufferers who believe their solution is for the other person to change?
hoping, always hoping.
[4] What gives them a sense of progress in their labors to reform someone else?
Our men have sworn great solemn oaths that they were through drinking forever.
[5] What does the hopeful one then choose to do which begins the cycle again?
We have believed them when no one else could or would.
[6] Do human powered promises—or faith in such promises—really help anybody?
Then, in days, weeks, or months, a fresh outburst.
[1-3]+3 Is isolation also a symptom of the spiritual illness19,20?
We seldom had friends at our homes, never knowing how or when the men of the house would appear.
We could make few social engagements.
We came to live almost alone.
[4] Who do people with the spiritual malady tend to blame for their isolation?
When we were invited out, our husbands sneaked so many drinks that they spoiled the occasion.
[5] And if they can’t blame the spouse for that conduct, what else might they blame them for?
If, on the other hand, they took nothing, their self-pity made them killjoys.
[1-4]+4 Is financial insecurity also a symptom of the spiritual malady21?
There was never financial security.
Positions were always in jeopardy or gone.
An armored car could not have brought the pay envelopes home.
The checking account melted like snow in June.
[1] Is selfish sex22 also a symptom of the spiritual malady? (See (Ch8~105.1)[10]).
Sometimes there were other women.
[2] How does this symptom set the stage for more resentment and self-pity?
How heartbreaking was this discovery; how cruel to be told they understood our men as we did not!
[1a]2p What additional troubles can reinforce one’s belief that the problem is the other person?
The bill collectors, the sheriffs, the angry taxi drivers, the policemen, the bums, the pals, and even the ladies they sometimes brought home—
[1b] While one person implodes at such disasters, what does "the person with the problem" do?
our husbands thought we were so inhospitable.
[2] And because they, too, want to blame someone for their difficulties, what did they say?
"Joykiller, nag, wet blanket"—that’s what they said.
[3a]2p Where does the cycle of insanity begin again for both people?
Next day they would be themselves again
[3b] Then, what do they do while thinking, "Yes! My efforts to reform him are working!"
and we would forgive and try to forget.
[1-2]+2 Hoping, always hoping23 —what problems does the one person try to solve for the other?
We have tried to hold the love of our children for their father.
We have told small tots that father was sick, which was much nearer the truth than we realized.
[3-4]+2 What does the person do whom they are trying to shield?
They struck the children, kicked out door panels, smashed treasured crockery, and ripped the keys out of pianos.
In the midst of such pandemonium they may have rushed out threatening to live with the other woman forever.
[5] How does the other person’s behavior become the excuse for this person’s insane behavior?
In desperation, we have even got tight ourselves—the drunk to end all drunks.
[6] How do the "people with the problem" like it when their spouses join them in their insanity?
The unexpected result was that our husbands seemed to like it.
[1] What do people sometimes do when they finally quit trying to straighten someone else out?
Perhaps at this point we got a divorce and took the children home to father and mother.
[2] But then, who do the parents of the "person with the problem" blame for the trouble?
Then we were severely criticized by our husband’s parents for desertion.
[3-4]+2 On the other hand, what do people do who still believe they can fix the other person24?
Usually we did not leave.
We stayed on and on.
[5] What can be the beginning of the end for their hopeless dependence on this other person?
We finally sought employment ourselves as destitution faced us and our families.
[1] When people finally admit they can’t fix the other person, where might they turn?
We began to ask medical advice as the sprees got closer together.
[2] Why do people tend to think the problem is only medical or psychological?
The alarming physical and mental symptoms, the deepening pall of remorse, depression and inferiority that settled down on our loved ones—these things terrified and distracted us.
[3] What does powerlessness look like in people who try to fix the "person with the problem"?
As animals on a treadmill, we have patiently and wearily climbed, falling back in exhaustion after each futile effort to reach solid ground.
[4] Once they realize their powerlessness, what do people suspect are the only options?
Most of us have entered the final stage with its commitment to health resorts, sanitariums, hospitals, and jails.
[5] What might shockingly convince someone they are utterly hopeless?
Sometimes there were screaming delirium and insanity.
[6] What shadow of irrevocable defeat begins tapping at the door?
Death was often near.
[1] What must everyone finally admit about their own choices and behavior?
Under these conditions we naturally made mistakes.
[2] Can we see we make mistakes for the same reasons as "the person with the problem"?
Some of them rose out of ignorance of alcoholism.
[3] What do people finally begin to suspect about the "person with the problem"?
Sometimes we sensed dimly that we were dealing with sick men.
[4] What do people realize once they begin to understand the nature of the spiritual illness25,26?
Had we fully understood the nature of the alcoholic illness, we might have behaved differently.
[1-2]+2 How does misunderstanding the other person’s illness affect one’s own thinking?
How could men who loved their wives and children be so unthinking, so callous, so cruel?
There could be no love in such persons, we thought.
[3] What may temporarily renew the hope of this person?
And just as we were being convinced of their heartlessness, they would surprise us with fresh resolves and new attentions.
[4a]2p What may make a person think their effort to fix the "person with problem" is working?
For a while they would be their old sweet selves,
[4b] What is the "tedious process" which beats the co-dependent into a state of reasonableness27?
only to dash the new structure of affection to pieces once more.
[5] What is more proof the "person with the problem" has no idea what the real problem is?
Asked why they commenced to drink again, they would reply with some silly excuse, or none.
[6] Does the other person’s malady reveal our own illness i.e., "incomprehensible demoralization"28?
It was so baffling, so heartbreaking.
[7-9]+3 When the other person "continued to wrong us", did we become "sore at ourselves"29?
Could we have been so mistaken in the men we married?
When drinking, they were strangers.
Sometimes they were so inaccessible that it seemed as though a great wall had been built around them.
[1] Do we think we’re "all-seeing" and "all-knowing" about "the person with the problem"?
And even if they did not love their families, how could they be so blind about themselves?
[2] If only the "person with the problem" would listen, what could we help them regain their sanity?
What had become of their judgment, their common sense, their will power?
[3] Can the all-knowing person fix the problem person by giving them the cold, hard facts?
Why could they not see that drink meant ruin to them?
[4] What does the problem person do when we lovingly try to save them from their mistakes?
Why was it, when these dangers were pointed out that they agreed, and then got drunk again immediately?
[1] What goes through our minds when all our efforts to "fix the other person" don’t work?
These are some of the questions which race through the mind of every woman who has an alcoholic husband.
[2] Where may our own problem along with its solution, the spiritual program of action, be found?
We hope this book has answered some of them.
[3] Might it be that "people who need fixing" have a problem which "no human power"30 can fix?
Perhaps your husband has been living in that strange world of alcoholism where everything is distorted and exaggerated.
[4] What if their baffling behavior has nothing to do with us, that they are sick, not bad?
You can see that he really does love you with his better self.
[5a]3p On the other hand, might some difficulties have nothing to do the fact we’re sick?
Of course, there is such a thing as incompatibility,
[5b] What is true of most people regardless of their particular symptoms of the spiritual malady?
but in nearly every instance the alcoholic only seems to be unloving and inconsiderate;
[5c] What do we now see is the effect of the spiritual malady on a person’s will and life31?
it is usually because he is warped and sickened that he says and does these appalling things.
[6] In view of this book’s message32,33,34, is there hope for anyone afflicted by this spiritual illness35,36?
Today most of our men are better husbands and fathers than ever before.
[1] What suggestion for helping the sick person shows our need for power greater than our own?
Try not to condemn your alcoholic husband no matter what he says or does.
[2] With God’s help, how may we see the person who just ripped the keys from the piano37?
He is just another very sick, unreasonable person.
[3] How might we treat the person who just brought home a "pal" of the opposite sex38?
Treat him, when you can, as though he had pneumonia.
[4] Does this book make suggestions which are nearly impossible to do on a non-spiritual basis?
When he angers you, remember that he is very ill.
[1] Are we supposed to show tolerance, pity, and patience no matter what a sick person does?
There is an important exception to the foregoing.
[2] With God’s help, where do we draw the line?
We realize some men are thoroughly bad-intentioned, that no amount of patience will make any difference.
[3] How do we spot a "browbeater", someone whose "ism" is abuse of others39?
An alcoholic of this temperament may be quick to use this chapter as a club over your head.
[4] How can we be most helpful to someone whose spiritual malady is to treat others roughly?
Don’t let him get away with it.
[5] If their "symptom" is willfully harming others, what can we do?
If you are positive he is one of this type you may feel you had better leave.
[6] What will help everyone the most—letting him destroy the family or not letting him?
Is it right to let him ruin your life and the lives of your children?
[7] When should someone be doubly determined to separate from a browbeater?
Especially when he has before him a way to stop his drinking and abuse if he really wants to pay the price.
[1] How might various symptoms of the spiritual malady illustrate the progression of this illness?
The problem with which you struggle usually falls within one of four categories:
[1] Before they are trapped by it, what does insane thinking tell a person is perfectly OK?
One: Your husband may be only a heavy drinker.
[2] How do symptoms of the spiritual illness40,41 appear at this stage?
His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions.
[3] How might this person’s habits begin to show the grip of the illness on him?
Perhaps he spends too much money for liquor.
[4] What effects of selfish, self-indulgence do others begin to see?
It may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it.
[5] Is such a person clueless of the effects their behavior is having on others?
Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends.
[6a]3p But, does the category One person think their behavior is out of control?
He is positive he can handle his liquor,
[6b] What do such people quickly claim when someone questions their heavy habit?
that it does him no harm,
[6c] What else might someone claim about their habit which fools no one but themselves?
that drinking is necessary in his business.
[7] How might a person with the malady act if someone tells him the truth about his behavior?
He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic.
[8] Across the world, how many people with the malady think their habit will do no harm?
This world is full of people like him.
[9a]2p Do some people find a spiritual solution to their malady before it progresses too far?
Some will moderate or stop altogether,
[9b] What about the other poor souls whose illness tells them they don’t have an illness?
and some will not.
[10] In category One, if a person with the malady feels no need to stop, what will likely happen?
Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while.
[1a]2p What symptoms of the spiritual malady become visible in category Two?
Two: Your husband is showing lack of control,
[1b] What are people unable to do even after making firm decisions42 and solemn promises43?
for he is unable to stay on the water wagon even when he wants to.
[2] How does a category Two person’s lack of control drag others into their chaos?
He often gets entirely out of hand when drinking.
[3a]2p What do they begin to admit when others call them on their destructive behavior?
He admits this is true,
[3b] But even as they admit past lack of control, what do they tell themselves…and others?
but is positive that he will do better.
[4] Since a category Two thinks their problem is a matter of self-control44,45, what do they do?
He has begun to try, with or without your cooperation, various means of moderating or staying dry.
[5] What does the relentless subtle insanity do to people around a person in category Two?
Maybe he is beginning to lose his friends.
[6] What occurs at work due to absence, carelessness, and rows with staff or customers46?
His business may suffer somewhat.
[7a]2p What does a category Two never tell anybody under any circumstances?
He is worried at times,
[7b] What do category Twos begin to see about their behavior?
and is becoming aware that he cannot drink like other people.
[8] Does a category Two begin to quell nervousness47 with the very thing that makes him nervous?
He sometimes drinks in the morning and through the day also, to hold his nervousness in check.
[9a]2p When does a category Two regret the consequences of their lack of control48?
He is remorseful after serious drinking bouts
[9b] What do they tell their family so the family does not leave?
and tells you he wants to stop.
[10] Once the heat is off and he feels less terrible, what is he already thinking?
But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time.
[11] Do category Two people realize they are treading the crumbly edge of a very steep cliff?
We think this person is in danger.
[12] This persistent, dangerous, baffling behavior is symptomatic of what?
These are the earmarks of a real alcoholic.
[13] What might give a category Two person an illusion of being OK?
Perhaps he can still tend to business fairly well.
[14] Why does the slowly increasing damage seem to be no big deal…yet?
He has by no means ruined everything.
[15] What does a category Two person say he wants to do that he really doesn’t want to do?
As we say among ourselves, "He wants to want to stop."
[1] What are the symptoms in category Three?
Three: This husband has gone much further than husband number two.
[2] Over any considerable period49 what will happen as the illness progresses?
Though once like number two he became worse.
[3a]3p What does his self-seeking, dishonest, and erratic behavior do to his friends?
His friends have slipped away,
[3b] How well does a person in category Three take care of his primary responsibilities?
his home is a near-wreck
[3c] What occurs at work due to absence, carelessness, and rows with staff and customers?
and he cannot hold a position.
[4] Where does this person or their family begin to look to find power to relieve these symptoms?
Maybe the doctor has been called in, and the weary round of sanitariums and hospitals has begun.
[5a]2p What symptom does the category Three finally admit?
He admits he cannot drink like other people,
[5b] What still eludes him?
but does not see why.
[6] Since he doesn’t know what the problem is, what does he desperately believe is his only hope?
He clings to the notion that he will yet find a way to do so.
[7] Is this where he realizes he’s stuck in quicksand which stretches all around50?
He may have come to the point where he desperately wants to stop but cannot.
[8] Does the category Three begin to wonder where all of this will end51?
His case presents additional questions which we shall try to answer for you.
[9] Does the fact that the situation looks hopeless mean that the situation really is hopeless?
You can be quite hopeful of a situation like this.
[1] In category Four, what effect does the person’s condition have on everyone around him?
Four: You may have a husband of whom you completely despair.
[2] Do people become patients of counsellors, treatment centers, hospitals, or guests in jails?
He has been placed in one institution after another.
[3] How does category Four act as he literally begins to lose his mind?
He is violent, or appears definitely insane when drunk.
[4] Does he become like the insane jaywalker52—going from treatment straight in front of a bus?
Sometimes he drinks on the way home from the hospital.
[5] Does this person begin to exhibit dangerous physical symptoms?
Perhaps he has had delirium tremens.
[6] Do some doctors begin to admit they have no idea what to do for this person53?
Doctors may shake their heads and advise you to have him committed.
[7] Do some in this condition already reside in a permanent detainment facility?
Maybe you have already been obliged to put him away.
[8] But is this situation as bleak as it appears?
This picture may not be as dark as it looks.
[9] Is everyone in this category as hopeless as they may appear?
Many of our husbands were just as far gone.
Yet they got well.
[1] How should we deal with people who have any symptoms of the spiritual malady54,55,56,57?
Let’s now go back to husband number one.
[2] What is the trouble with someone whose symptoms may be constant or heavy periodically58?
Oddly enough, he is often difficult to deal with.
[3-5]+3 How do Type One people convince themselves they don’t have a problem?
He enjoys drinking.
It stirs his imagination.
His friends feel closer over a highball.
[6] How do people around the Type One convince themselves they don’t have a problem?
Perhaps you enjoy drinking with him yourself when he doesn’t go too far.
[7-8]+2 How could a person who seems so normal be the cause of any problems?
You have passed happy evenings together chatting and drinking before your fire.
Perhaps you both like parties which would be dull without liquor.
[9-10]+2 Why might people who "react very differently"59 be baffled by Type One symptoms?
We have enjoyed such evenings ourselves; we had a good time.
We know all about liquor as a social lubricant.
[11] Why do people whose reactions differ have trouble seeing a real problem when it exists?
Some, but not all of us, think it has its advantages when reasonably used.
[1] Is the real purpose of this chapter to help families spot their own spiritual malady?
The first principle of success is that you should never be angry.
[2a]2p What may bring out the symptoms of the spiritual malady in family members?
Even though your husband becomes unbearable and you have to leave him temporarily,
[2b] What is the family asked to do which is almost impossible to do without spiritual help?
you should, if you can, go without rancor.
[3] What attitudes toward "the problem person" are impossible without spiritual help?
Patience and good temper are most necessary.
[1] What is virtually impossible for someone whose problem seems to be someone else?
Our next thought is that you should never tell him what he must do about his drinking.
[2] What happens when one person’s subtle insanity is to want to control another’s behavior?
If he gets the idea that you are a nag or a killjoy, your chance of accomplishing anything useful may be zero.
[3-4]+2 What symptoms of the spiritual illness60,61 will affect all parties in this equation62
He will use that as an excuse to drink more.
He will tell you he is misunderstood.
[5] What fuels more self-pity in the sick person who is nagging another person?
This may lead to lonely evenings for you.
[6] Besides alcohol or other substances, where can the other person’s self-pity take him?
He may seek someone else to console him—not always another man.
[1] What can someone do only if they put "the problem person’s" ill behavior in God’s hands?
Be determined that your husband’s drinking is not going to spoil your relations with your children or your friends.
[2] How can "keeping faith alive"63 thru "work and self-sacrifice for others"64 help kids and friends?
They need your companionship and your help.
[3-4]+2 What can the spiritual program of sane and happy usefulness65 do for anyone?
It is possible to have a full and useful life, though your husband continues to drink.
We know women who are unafraid, even happy under these conditions.
[5] What may a spiritual awakening66 help someone do whose symptom is "fixing others"?
Do not set your heart on reforming your husband.
[6] What chance has anyone, in their own power, to cure someone else of a spiritual illness67,68?
You may be unable to do so, no matter how hard you try.
[1] What might be accomplished if we put "the person with the problem" into God’s hands69?
We know these suggestions are sometimes difficult to follow, but you will save many a heartbreak if you can succeed in observing them.
[2-3]+2 Just as the insanity70,71,72 is contagious, what can follow the practice of spiritual principles73?
Your husband may come to appreciate your reasonableness and patience.
This may lay the groundwork for a friendly talk about his alcoholic problem.
[4] What can possibly be helpful to someone who suffers from pride, ego, and self-pity74?
Try to have him bring up the subject himself.
[5] To be of continued help to someone with this problem, what must we avoid like the plague75?
Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion.
[6] What may help us show tolerance, pity, and patience76 to the sick person?
Attempt instead, to put yourself in his place.
[7] Why do we say to God, "This is a sick person. How can I be helpful to him"77?
Let him see that you want to be helpful rather than critical.
[1] What might be the best way to help someone find a solution to their problem on their own?
When a discussion does arise, you might suggest he read this book
[2] What chapter can help us understand the "subtle insanity" 78,79,80, the root of our troubles81,82?
or at least the chapter on alcoholism.
[3-4]+2 What’s a diplomatic way to express care for someone without preaching or criticizing?
Tell him you have been worried, though perhaps needlessly.
You think he ought to know the subject better, as everyone should have a clear understanding of the risk he takes if he drinks too much.
[5-6]+2 What can we say, even when we know the person is sick83 and has NO power to stop84?
Show him you have confidence in his power to stop or moderate.
Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only want him to take care of his health.
[7] What effect may this approach85 have on someone suffering from pride, ego, and self-pity86?
Thus you may succeed in interesting him in alcoholism.
[1] Most "people with the problem", for example, alcoholics, have friends who are what?
He probably has several alcoholics among his own acquaintances.
[2] What could we suggest to the "person with the problem" which might help both us and him?
You might suggest that you both take an interest in them.
[3] Who do people with specific symptoms of the spiritual malady like to help the most?
Drinkers like to help other drinkers.
[4] What might the "person with the problem" be willing to do which would help everyone?
Your husband may be willing to talk to one of them.
[1a]2p If this approach doesn’t work as hoped, what should we do?
If this kind of approach does not catch your husband’s interest, it may be best to drop the subject,
[1b] If we treat the "person with a problem" with care and friendship, what can happen?
but after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive the topic himself.
[2] What will it do to ask God in our morning meditations87 to help us show patience and tolerance?
This may take patient waiting, but it will be worth it.
[3] If "the person with the problem" doesn’t respond, what should we do instead of nagging?
Meanwhile you might try to help the wife of another serious drinker.
[4] How might it affect the sick person if we ask God to help us show patience and helpfulness?
If you act upon these principles, your husband may stop or moderate.
[1] What category of sick person is baffled by lack of control, yet is obsessed with a belief that he will somehow yet find a way to control his insanity88,89 and avoid its consequences90,91
Suppose, however, that your husband fits the description of number two.
[2] To be helpful to this person, what principles should we follow?
The same principles which apply to husband number one should be practiced.
[3a]2p When may a sick person be most receptive to suggestions?
But after his next binge,
[3b] What suggestion might bring this person toward Step One?
ask him if he would really like to get over drinking for good.
[4] Should we motivate them to "want to stop" by suggesting rosy outcomes for the family?
Do not ask that he do it for you or anyone else.
[5] What question will work best with the sick person who is in category Two?
Just would he like to?
[1] If a person says he wants to stop, what are the chances he really does want to stop?
The chances are he would.
[2a]2p What might a person who really wants to stop be willing to read?
Show him your copy of this book
[2b] What might it interest him to know?
and tell him what you have found out about alcoholism.
[3] What do most people discover if they read this book?
Show him that as alcoholics, the writers of the book understand.
[4] At the very least, the twenty-nine personal stories of the First Edition are what?
Tell him some of the interesting stories* you have read.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[5] What chapter gives hope to people who may think their only hope is their own power?
If you think he will be shy* of a spiritual remedy, ask him to look at the chapter on alcoholism.
* Webster’s 1937 "shy": Easily frightened, wary, timid.
[6] Might a spiritual remedy seem less dreadful to someone who sees himself beyond human aid92?
Then perhaps he will be interested enough to continue.
[1] What can we do with the message93,94,95 we carry IF the problem person is truly interested?
If he is enthusiastic your cooperation will mean a great deal.
[2] On the other hand, what should we do if he’s not convinced his efforts are hopeless?
If he is lukewarm or thinks he is not an alcoholic, we suggest you leave him alone.
[3] What should we do so long as the sick person doesn’t think he has a problem?
Avoid urging him to follow our program.
[4] What do we accomplish by asking if he would like to quit96 and suggesting he read the book97?
The seed has been planted in his mind.
[5] What might the "person with a problem" learn if he takes time to read the book?
He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered.
[6] When will someone who denies having a problem not want to hear about these recoveries?
But don’t remind him of this after he has been drinking, for he may be angry.
[7] When his inability to control beats him up some more, will he become more interested?
Sooner or later, you are likely to find him reading the book once more.
[8a]2p What eventually brings a sick person to a state of reasonableness?
Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he must act,
[8b] What might happen if we impatiently hurry someone per our schedule instead of God’s?
for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed.
[1] What’s the good news when the person with the problem desperately wants to stop?
If you have a number three husband, you may be in luck.
[2] When the person with the problem knows he’s beaten98, what will he not complain about?
Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to him with this volume as joyfully as though you had struck oil.
[3a]3p Does this mean he will be happy about it?
He may not share your enthusiasm,
[3b] But what does the person who is beaten likely to do if he really wants to stop?
but he is practically sure to read the book
[3c] If his only choices are going on to the bitter end or accepting spiritual help99, what may he do?
and he may go for the program at once.
[4] What can we hope if the person with the problem doesn’t respond at once100?
If he does not, you will probably not have long to wait.
[5] Even when the person is desperate, will he be looking for some reason to refuse help?
Again, you should not crowd him.
[6] How do we handle the self-centered egotist who expects to have the last word?
Let him decide for himself.
[7] What is faster than our nagging to convince someone of their spiritual malady101?
Cheerfully see him through more sprees.
[8] When will our self-propelled actor102 be most ready to take suggestions?
Talk about his condition or this book only when he raises the issue.
[9] Will it sometime be easier for the sick person to learn from strangers than from family?
In some cases it may be better to let someone outside the family present the book.
[10] What can an outsider do that those closer to the sufferer may not be able to do?
They can urge action without arousing hostility.
[11] How more likely is success if the sick person is stuck mostly in one main insanity?
If your husband is otherwise a normal individual, your chances are good at this stage.
[1] Is someone finally, irretrievably hopeless who is so far gone they are locked up?
You would suppose that men in the fourth classification would be quite hopeless, but that is not so.
[2] What happened to many who seemed completely hopeless but became willing to believe103,104?
Many of Alcoholics Anonymous were like that.
[3] Does it matter what anybody thinks of their chances?
Everybody had given them up.
[4] How completely, utterly hopeless did things look?
Defeat seemed certain.
[5] In spite of all odds, what happened?
Yet often such men had spectacular and powerful recoveries.
[1] Do all of these in the Fourth Category have spectacular recoveries?
There are exceptions.
[2] Why might some find a new life simply impossible?
Some men have been so impaired by alcohol that they cannot stop.
[3] What else can complicate recovery?
Sometimes there are cases where alcoholism is complicated by other disorders.
[4] Who can judge the seriousness of such complications?
A good doctor or psychiatrist can tell you whether these complications are serious.
[5] What should an apparently hopeless Category Four person be asked to do nevertheless?
In any event, try to have your husband read this book.
[6] What sometimes happens when seemingly hopeless types read the book including the stories*?
His reaction may be one of enthusiasm.
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[7a]2p What should be done for anyone who is willing to do the work105 in both faith and action106?
If he is already committed to an institution, but can convince you and your doctor that he means business, give him a chance to try our method,
[7b] What is the only thing that might prevent working with someone who is locked up?
unless the doctor thinks his mental condition too abnormal or dangerous.
[8] How confident are the authors this spiritual program can help even some who are locked up?
We make this recommendation with some confidence.
[9] What gives the authors this confidence?
For years we have been working with alcoholics committed to institutions.
[10] What have the authors seen with some who were locked up?
Since this book was first published, A.A. has released thousands of alcoholics from asylums and hospitals of every kind.
[11] What happened to most seemingly "hopeless" types who read the book and took the Steps?
The majority have never returned.
[12] What is the reality of these words: "Faith in a Power greater than ourselves and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself"107?
The power of God goes deep!
[1-2]+2 What may be true about someone in category Four who is NOT locked up?
You may have the reverse situation on your hands.
Perhaps you have a husband who is at large, but who should be committed.
[3] What does the book say about such unfortunates108 as these?
Some men cannot or will not get over alcoholism.
[4] Where does the road go for those whose malady only gets worse and never better109?
When they become too dangerous, we think the kind thing is to lock them up,
[5] Who should be consulted before a radical decision to lock someone up is made?
but of course a good doctor should always be consulted.
[6a]2p What reason justifies this drastic step when it must be taken?
The wives and children of such men suffer horribly,
[6b] Realizing a person who "will not" is just as sick as one who "cannot", what do we know?
but not more than the men themselves.
[1] When the sick person doesn’t recover, what must those around him sometimes do?
But sometimes you must start life anew.
[2] Did the authors know people who started new lives away from the "person with a problem"?
We know women who have done it.
[3] What can the "spiritual program"110 do for those who think their problem is another person?
If such women adopt a spiritual way of life their road will be smoother.
[1] What is a symptom of the spiritual malady that shows up in all kinds of people?
If your husband is a drinker, you probably worry over what other people are thinking and you hate to meet your friends.
[2] What other symptom of the malady111 shows in people who think their problem is someone else?
You draw more and more into yourself and you think everyone is talking about conditions at your home.
[3] How does embarrassment head off discussion which might lead to understanding?
You avoid the subject of drinking, even with your own parents.
[4] If we don’t yet realize the problem is an illness, what do we tell the children?
You do not know what to tell the children.
[5] How do we act when we think "the other person’s problem" will wreck our own reputation?
When your husband is bad, you become a trembling recluse, wishing the telephone had never been invented.
[1] What symptoms might suggest that the "person with the problem" isn’t really the problem?
We find that most of this embarrassment is unnecessary.
[2] Instead of embarrassed silence, what could be said about the "person with the problem"?
While you need not discuss your husband at length, you can quietly let your friends know the nature of his illness.
[3] What must be considered when telling others about the sick person?
But you must be on guard not to embarrass or harm your husband.
[1-3]+3 What does trusting God with fear about what other people think112 look like?
When you have carefully explained to such people that he is a sick person, you will have created a new atmosphere.
Barriers which have sprung up between you and your friends will disappear with the growth of sympathetic understanding.
You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character.
[4] Why are apologies for someone who is sick completely unnecessary?
He may be anything but that.
[5] How does living on the spiritual basis113,114 help everyone all around?
Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially.
[1] Where else can the spiritual principle of honesty do some good?
The same principle applies in dealing with the children.
[2] When should someone be the arbiter of disputes between the sick person and their children?
Unless they actually need protection from their father, it is best not to take sides in any argument he has with them while drinking.
[3] Living life on a spiritual basis of usefulness to God and our fellows can do what?
Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around.
[4] Promoting better understanding between others can do what?
Then that terrible tension which grips the home of every problem drinker will be lessened.
[1] How does the spiritual malady affect someone who tries to hide someone else’s problem?
Frequently, you have felt obliged to tell your husband’s employer and his friends that he was sick, when as a matter of fact he was tight.
[2] Since "circumstances" motivate115 people to become "willing", what can be done instead?
Avoid answering these inquiries as much as you can.
[3] Who should do the explaining when self-seeking causes a work absence?
Whenever possible, let your husband explain.
[4a]2p What does it look like to put the sick person in God’s hands and live by spiritual principles?
Your desire to protect him should not cause you to lie to people
[4b] What rights do employers have who are paying someone to do a job?
when they have a right to know where he is and what he is doing.
[5] How does living by spiritual principles let us talk with the person who has a problem?
Discuss this with him when he is sober and in good spirits.
[6] What can be said to help the sick person face the consequences of their own behavior?
Ask him what you should do if he places you in such a position again.
[7] How can "living by spiritual principles"116,117,118 help someone whose "problem" is someone else?
But be careful not to be resentful about the last time he did so.
[1-2]+2 What’s another symptom of the spiritual malady which can show in just about anybody?
There is another paralyzing fear.
You may be afraid your husband will lose his position; you are thinking of the disgrace and hard times which will befall you and the children.
[3-4]+2 What does the book mean when it says, "Fear set in motion trains of circumstances…"119?
This experience may come to you.
Or you may already have had it several times.
[5] Putting our trust in the "infinite God rather than our finite selves"120 lets us do what?
Should it happen again, regard it in a different light.
[6] If we choose to believe God cares121 and that He controls circumstances122, what can we expect?
Maybe it will prove a blessing!
[7] What can a tedious beating123 brought on by circumstances of one’s own making124 do?
It may convince your husband he wants to stop drinking forever.
[8] What do we now know this spiritual way of life125 can do for anyone who wants it?
And now you know that he can stop if he will!
[9a]2p What does disaster often prove to be?
Time after time, this apparent calamity has been a boon to us,
[9b] What does disaster seem to do for someone suffering the spiritual malady126?
for it opened up a path which led to the discovery of God.
[1] What can putting spiritual principles127 into practice do for almost anyone?
We have elsewhere remarked how much better life is when lived on a spiritual plane.
[2a]2p In the late 1930s, "the power of God"128 and His "Way of life"129 did what to amaze many people plagued with a 10,000 year old "seemingly hopeless state of mind and body"130?
If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism,
[2b] What can reliance on this same Power131 plus enough "willingness, honesty, and humility"132 do for different people suffering from various "isms", addictions133, and dependencies?
He can solve your problems too.
[3] What does someone afflicted with the spiritual malady have in common with "alcoholics"?
We wives found that, like everybody else, we were afflicted with pride, self-pity, vanity and all the things which go to make up the self-centered person; and we were not above selfishness or dishonesty.
[4] Practicing these principles in all our personal activities134,135 can do what for people around us?
As our husbands began to apply spiritual principles in their lives, we began to see the desirability of doing so too.
[1] What does pride, self-pity, fear, self-centeredness, etc. like us to believe?
At first, some of us did not believe we needed this help.
[2a]2p What does the sharp sword of pride tell us about our shortcomings?
We thought, on the whole, we were pretty good women,
[2b] And who does our pride suggest we blame for our own shortcomings?
capable of being nicer if our husbands stopped drinking.
[3] What is the essence of the realizations of Steps One and Two?
But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God.
[4] What can Steps One through Twelve teach anyone who wants a spiritual way of life?
Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives.
[5a]2p What do we discover when we put faith to work "every day in all activities"136?
When we do that, we find it solves our problems too;
[5b] What happens to "fear of people and economic insecurity"137?
the ensuing lack of fear, worry and hurt feelings is a wonderful thing.
[6a]3p What do the authors hope people with any "ism", addiction, or dependency will do?
We urge you to try our program,
[6b] Who in turn will be helped when we practice spiritual principles in all our activities138,139?
for nothing will be so helpful to your husband as the radically changed attitude toward him
[6c] Where does the inspiration and the guidance for this new and helpful attitude come from?
which God will show you how to have.
[7] What should we do when we find others on the Broad Highway140?
Go along with your husband if you possibly can.
[1] How do people feel when spiritual principles solve their big problems?
If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to be very happy.
[2] Are all our difficulties going to be removed immediately?
But all problems will not be solved at once.
[3a]2p Belief in the power of God141, plus a new attitude toward that power142, and putting faith to work143,144,145,146 is like what?
Seed has started to sprout in a new soil,
[3b] Where are we when we have taken Steps One through Nine147?
but growth has only begun.
[4] Does finding freedom from one ism, addiction148, or dependency mean we’re cured149?
In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs.
[5] When the wind stops blowing150, where will we be?
Many of the old problems will still be with you.
[6] Might it be a good thing to have some old problems to face?
This is as it should be.
[1] What provides God an opportunity to demonstrate what He can do151?
The faith and sincerity of both you and your husband will be put to the test.
[2a]2p When we put our problems in God’s hands152, what can be our attitude toward them?
These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education,
[2b] What do we learn by trust and reliance in the "infinite God"153?
for thus you will be learning to live.
[3] Are we likely to be inspired at all times154, can we learn to laugh at our mistakes155?
You will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down.
[4] Instead of beating ourselves up about mistakes, what do we do with them156?
Instead, you will capitalize them.
[5] What can happen when we see mistakes as educational opportunities157?
A better way of life will emerge when they are overcome.
[1] What sort of things can block us from the "sunlight of the Spirit"158?
Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments.
[2a]2p Even when following spiritual principles, will we always be patient, kind and tolerant?
Your husband will sometimes be unreasonable
[2b] How are we likely to respond to people who seem to be unreasonable?
and you will want to criticize.
[3-4]+2 What does criticism usually accomplish?
Starting from a speck on the domestic horizon, great thunderclouds of dispute may gather.
These family dissensions are very dangerous, especially to your husband.
[5] No matter who’s at fault, whose job is it always going to be to avoid dissension?
Often you must carry the burden of avoiding them or keeping them under control.
[6] Since resentment is a symptom of the spiritual malady, what must we keep in mind?
Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic.
[7] Does avoiding dissension mean giving up one’s opinion in a disagreement?
We do not mean that you have to agree with your husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion.
[8] What’s the best way to disagree with someone without being disagreeable?
Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit.
[1] Do people usually deal more easily with big disagreements or little ones?
You and your husband will find that you can dispose of serious problems easier than you can the trivial ones.
[2a]6p Wouldn’t it be great if the authors could give us some practical instructions for handling heated discussions? Wait! What’s this?
Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject,
[2b] Which of the two parties have the ability to calm the waters and diffuse the tension?
l it should be the privilege of either
[2c] First, do what?
to smile
[2d] Second, do what?
and say, "This is getting serious.
[2e] Third, what’s the most difficult thing to say in this emergency bomb squad operation?
I’m sorry I got disturbed.
[2f] And finally, still with that smile, what’s the final thing to say?
Let’s talk about it later."
[3] What will the other party do especially if they are trying to practice these spiritual principles?
If your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, he will also be doing everything in his power to avoid disagreement or contention.
[1-2]+2 When people begin new lives on spiritual principles what do they hope they can now do?
Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety.
He wants to make good.
[3] Should great strides toward peace and happiness be expected right away?
Yet you must not expect too much.
[4] Does "letting go of old ideas" happen all at once?
His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years.
[5] What attitudes will help just about anyone159?
Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords.
[6] What is the result to treating others the way we wish to be treated160?
Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back to you from him.
[7] What is one of the fellowship’s time tested mottos?
Live and let live is the rule.
[8] What does it look like when we stick to sweeping our own side of the street161?
If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other.
[1] What is a clear-cut manifestation of the obsession of co-dependency?
We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be.
[2] What does self-delusion162 in co-dependency look like?
It is the most natural thing in the world, once his liquor problem is solved, to feel that he will now measure up to that cherished vision.
[3a]2p What are the chances another person will meet the co-dependent’s expectations?
The chances are he will not
[3b] Will "growth in understanding and effectiveness be an overnight matter" in any recovery163?
for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development.
[4] What will be most helpful to almost anyone during their growth in spiritual principles?
Be patient.
[1] Are co-dependents sometimes angry when their best efforts fail to rehabilitate other people?
Another feeling we are very likely to entertain is one of resentment that love and loyalty could not cure our husbands of alcoholism.
[2] Are co-dependents sometimes angry their "old ideas"164 about "playing God"165 don’t work?
We do not like the thought that the contents of a book or the work of another alcoholic has accomplished in a few weeks that for which we struggled for years.
[3] Does anyone have control over the spiritual malady which manifests itself in many ways?
At such moments we forget that alcoholism is an illness over which we could not possibly have had any power.
[4] But, on the other hand, is patience, tolerance, kindness, and love of no value whatever?
Your husband will be the first to say it was your devotion and care which brought him to the point where he could have a spiritual experience.
[5] What can happen to very sick people without patience, kindness, understanding, and love?
Without you he would have gone to pieces long ago.
[6] In dealing with resentments, what is consistent with seeing these as being sick people and asking God to help us show tolerance, pity, and patience166?
When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings.
[7] What are some blessings that may be counted?
After all, your family is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future.
[1] What’s another symptom of the spiritual malady (besides "selfishness", "dishonesty", etc.)?
Still another difficulty is that you may become jealous of the attention he bestows on other people, especially alcoholics.
[2a]2p What might be the role self-pity plays in the manifestation of jealousy?
You have been starving for his companionship,
[2b] To one who is jealous, how much time does it seem the other person spends helping others?
yet he spends long hours helping other men and their families.
[3] What makes the co-dependent "begin to think life doesn’t treat him right"167?
You feel he should now be yours.
[4] How may patience168 help us recognize someone’s growth in spiritual effectiveness169?
The fact is that he should work with other people to maintain his own sobriety.
[5-7]+3 What might happen with someone who has "just made conscious contact with God"170?
Sometimes he will be so interested that he becomes really neglectful.
Your house is filled with strangers.
You may not like some of them.
[8] "Driven by a hundred forms of…self-pity"171, what does the co-dependent see?
He gets stirred up about their troubles, but not at all about yours.
[9] "Selfishness—self-centeredness…"172 might lead the co-dependent to want to do what?
It will do little good if you point that out and urge more attention for yourself.
[10] What mistake might the co-dependent make in their self-seeking?
We find it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm for alcoholic work.
[11] What should the recovering co-dependent do to gain "the companionship they crave"173?
You should join in his efforts as much as you possibly can.
[12] If helping others is vital174 for the problem person’s recovery, what is vital for co-dependents?
We suggest that you direct some of your thought to the wives of his new alcoholic friends.
[13] What qualifies recovering co-dependents to work with other co-dependents?
They need the counsel and love of a woman who has gone through what you have.
[1] Working with others is the anecdote to what difficulty faced by most people?
It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic.
[2] What can we do to find new ways to "practice these principles in all our affairs"175,176?
Therefore, you probably need fresh interests and a great cause to live for as much as your husband.
[3] How may cooperation affect the other person’s "excess enthusiasm"?
If you cooperate, rather than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm will tone down.
[4] What can happen when recovering persons cooperate with each another?
Both of you will awaken to a new sense of responsibility for others.
[5] For people in conscious contact with their Creator, what becomes the focus of their lives?
You, as well as your husband, ought to think of what you can put into life instead of how much you can take out.
[6] What may people expect in their own lives who focus on meeting the needs of others?
Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so.
[7] What will happen to old lives of selfishness, loneliness, and worry?
You will lose the old life to find one much better.
[1] What can happen if one "comes to believe"177, but doesn’t put faith into action178,179,180,181?
Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk.
[2] What do we know if the person makes no excuses, but simply puts faith back into action182?
If you are satisfied he really wants to get over drinking, you need not be alarmed.
[3a]2p What would be better, of course, than having to redouble his efforts where he left off?
Though it is infinitely better that he have no relapse at all,
[3b] How might we view such a calamity183 whether he wants his sanity back right now or not?
as has been true with many of our men, it is by no means a bad thing in some cases.
[4a]2p If he already knows he needs God’s help184, how long will it take him to know what to do?
Your husband will see at once
[4b] What does "throwing ourselves the harder into helping others"185 have to do with this?
that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive.
[5] What will a person know if they have carefully read this book and followed its instructions?
You need not remind him of his spiritual deficiency—he will know of it.
[6] When sick people make mistakes186, instead of ignoring them187 or trying to fix them188, we do what…?
Cheer him up and ask him how you can be still more helpful.
[1] How might our attitude negatively impact someone who hasn’t enlarged his spiritual life?
The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen your husband’s chance of recovery.
[2] How may someone who is suffering from "the subtle insanity"189,190,191,192,193,194,195 react?
In a weak moment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink.
[1] What plan for someone else’s sobriety does the book say is "doomed to failure"196?
We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation.
[2] Super touchy sick people seem to be on the lookout for anyone doing what?
The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed.
[3-4]+2 Should a sick person be "pushed or prodded by (his sponsor), his wife, or his friends"197?
Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes.
This is important.
[5] But aren’t we supposed to do everything in our power to keep him from stumbling?
If he gets drunk, don’t blame yourself.
[6] What is the truth about restoration to sanity198 until which none of us have any control199?
God has either removed your husband’s liquor problem or He has not.
[7] Has the person with the problem yet admitted powerlessness200 over an uncontrollable illness?
If not, it had better be found out right away.
[8] What can be done once a person becomes open-minded201 about the spiritual solution?
Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals.
[9] What is a better basis upon which to live than the one of trying to run the whole show202?
If a repetition is to be prevented, place the problem, along with everything else, in God’s hands.
[1-3]+3 What are the authors somewhat apologetic about in this chapter?
We realize that we have been giving you much direction and advice.
We may have seemed to lecture.
If that is so we are sorry, for we ourselves don’t always care for people who lecture us.
[4] Are this chapter’s directions and advice based on somebody’s theories or opinions?
But what we have related is based upon experience, some of it painful.
[5] If it’s true that wisdom comes from experience, how does one gain experience?
We had to learn these things the hard way.
[6] Why were the authors anxious to offer the wisdom of their experience?
That is why we are anxious that you understand, and that you avoid these unnecessary difficulties.
[1] What do the authors say in closing to people who think their problem is another person203?
So to you out there who may soon be with us—we say "Good luck and God bless you!"
[1] What did the previous chapter, "To Wives", suggest would be useful for a family’s recovery?
Our women folk have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering.
[2] What idea might the wives have given with their suggestions of patience and tolerance?
Perhaps they created the impression that he is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal.
[3] Should anyone in the home be put on a pedestal for the sake of anyone else’s recovery?
Successful readjustment means the opposite.
[4] What is the common ground of recovery for all members of the family?
All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love.
[5] How do members of a family acquire tolerance, understanding, and love for each other?
This involves a process of deflation.
[6] What makes this process of deflation necessary?
The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his "in-laws," each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family’s attitude towards himself or herself.
[7] Such fixed ideas might have led each family member to be interested in what?
Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected.
[8] What effect can a demand for respect for one’s wishes have on other members of the family?
We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become.
[9] What happens if family members, one by one, do not let go of old, fixed ideas and attitudes?
This makes for discord and unhappiness.
[1] What do we want to know about the real cause of discord and unhappiness in families?
And why?
[2] Yes we ask, "Why?"
Is it not because each wants to play the lead?
[3] What do we mean when we say every member of the family is trying to play the lead?
Is not each trying to arrange the family show to his liking?
[4] What is a family member doing when anxiously seeking the spotlight?
Is he not unconsciously trying to see what he can take from the family life rather than give?
[1] What is the first step away from a hopeless cycle of dependency which seemed normal1?
Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition.
[2-3]+2 What can just one family member’s addiction2 do to the rest of the family?
A doctor said to us, "Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic.
The entire family is, to some extent, ill."
[4] If everyone in the family is ill, will their journey to recovery be smooth sailing?
Let families realize, as they start their journey, that all will not be fair weather.
[5] Will there be pains and seemingly slow progress?
Each in his turn may be footsore and may straggle.
[6] Will there be temptations to veer away from the clear-cut directions in this book?
There will be alluring shortcuts and by-paths down which they may wander and lose their way.
[1a]3p What will this chapter warn family members about?
Suppose we tell you some of the obstacles a family will meet;
[1b] Along with the warnings, what will the chapter offer to avoid these obstacles?
suppose we suggest how they may be avoided—
[1c] No longer on the basis of self-reliance, what can these valuable lessons learned become3?
even converted to good use for others.
[2] The family which suffers from their own form of spiritual malady, longs for what?
The family of an alcoholic longs for the return of happiness and security.
[3] What picture of the ideal man4—the sort of chap father used to be—do families carry?
They remember when father was romantic, thoughtful and successful.
[4a]2p Is it an alluring trap to measure today’s real difficulties against an idealized past?
Today’s life is measured against that of other years and,
[4b] Can measuring reality against an idealized past be a short-cut to self-pity?
when it falls short, the family may be unhappy.
[1] How does the family’s outlook change when the "person with the problem" has a spiritual awakening and his subtle insanity5,6,7 is removed?
Family confidence in dad is rising high.
[2] In their happiness, do they think dad will soon restore things to their idealized memories?
The good old days will soon be back, they think.
[3] What happens if they try to run the whole show from inside their own subtle insanity?
Sometimes they demand that dad bring them back instantly!
[4] Then who, perhaps without realizing it, may they really be angry at?
God, they believe, almost owes this recompense on a long overdue account.
[5a]2p Why are the "good old days"—even if true—unlikely to return quickly?
But the head of the house has spent years in pulling down the structures of business, romance, friendship, health—
[5b] It’s grand that the wind stopped blowing, but what is the reality on the ground?
these things are now ruined or damaged.
[6] What will it take time to do?
It will take time to clear away the wreck.
[7a]2p What hope really exists for the family’s future?
Though old buildings will eventually be replaced by finer ones,
[7b] If it took years to pull down the structure, what will it take to rebuild them?
the new structures will take years to complete.
[1a]3p If the recovering person made a decision and took the rest of the steps, what will he know?
Father knows he is to blame;
[1b] If he put his self-esteem, pocketbook and ambitions into God’s hands, what does he know?
it may take him many seasons of hard work to be restored financially,
[1c] When the family sees that reconstruction will take some time, what should they not do?
but he shouldn’t be reproached.
[2] If a recovered person has entrusted his will and life to the care of God, what may be true?
Perhaps he will never have much money again.
[3] What may a family do who sees him trying to carry a vision of God’s will into all activities8?
But the wise family will admire him for what he is trying to be, rather than for what he is trying to get.
[1a]3p What sometimes haunts the family’s memories in recovery?
Now and then the family will be plagued by specters from the past,
[1b] These ghosts arise from vivid memories of what?
for the drinking career of almost every alcoholic has been marked
[1c] What makes the ghosts of such memories so scary?
by escapades, funny, humiliating, shameful or tragic.
[2] What is the family’s first thought when skeletons of such ghosts rise from the graveyard?
The first impulse will be to bury these skeletons in a dark closet and padlock the door.
[3] What erroneous thought, theory, opinion, or idea lies behind this impulse?
The family may be possessed by the idea that future happiness can be based only upon forgetfulness of the past.
[4a]2p What drives many, if not all such erroneous ideas?
We think that such a view is self-centered and
[4b] What makes it possible for the family to recognize and identify self-centeredness?
in direct conflict with the new way of living.
[1] What did one American industrialist say about the value of lessons learned from mistakes?
Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life.
[2] Mistakes of the past become supremely valuable when one is what
That is true only if one is willing to turn the past to good account.
[3] When we live in the world of the Spirit9, how do we grow10 in understanding and effectiveness?
We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets.
[4a]2p Willingness turns funny, humiliating, and even tragic escapades into what?
The alcoholic’s past thus becomes the principal asset of the family and
[4b] When some of us look at our balance sheets, such a golden asset might be what?
frequently it is almost the only one!
[1] Why is this experience—this asset—so very valuable in the new life the family leads?
This painful past may be of infinite value to other families still struggling with their problem.
[2a]2p Who do recovered families or persons recovered from the subtle insanity11,12,13 still owe?
We think each family which has been relieved owes something to those who have not,
[2b] When it comes to helping someone, what does "willing to go to any length" mean?
and when the occasion requires, each member of it should be only too willing to bring former mistakes, no matter how grievous, out of their hiding places.
[3] Is helping others something we do only to "keep ourselves sober"?
Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now.
[4a]2p A proper use of will power14 might be to keep what thought in mind?
Cling to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have—
[4b] Why is the dark past often our greatest and most valuable possession?
the key to life and happiness for others.
[5] What do our funniest, most humiliating, or most tragic mistakes equip us to do?
With it you can avert death and misery for them.
[1] Though our past can be our greatest asset, how can we misuse the past to hurt someone15?
It is possible to dig up past misdeeds so they become a blight, a veritable plague.
[2-5]+4 What’s an example of misusing the past to tear the old wounds open?
For example, we know of situations in which the alcoholic or his wife have had love affairs.
In the first flush of spiritual experience they forgave each other and drew closer together.
The miracle of reconciliation was at hand.
Then, under one provocation or another, the aggrieved one would unearth the old affair and angrily cast its ashes about.
[6] Has this happened to some of us? And how do we forgive these mistakes?
A few of us have had these growing pains and they hurt a great deal.
[7] What might families have to do if a spouse cannot let bygones be bygones16?
Husbands and wives have sometimes been obliged to separate for a time until new perspective, new victory over hurt pride could be rewon.
[8] Can digging up past misdeeds to hurl them at one another be good for either spouse?
In most cases, the alcoholic survived this ordeal without relapse, but not always.
[9] If we have no helpful or useful reason for bringing up the past, what should we do?
So we think that unless some good and useful purpose is to be served, past occurrences should not be discussed.
[1] Though our first impulse is to bury our mistakes and padlock them17, what do we do instead?
We families of Alcoholics Anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet.
[2] What do we know about each other because we meet regularly together in groups?
Everyone knows about the others’ alcoholic troubles.
[3] Why is this so unusual?
This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information.
[4] But does this happen very often in our fellowship?
Among us, these are rare occurrences.
[5] Even if we do talk about each other’s troubles and experiences, what restrains our talk?
We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance.
[1] What other principles do we practice to protect one another’s anonymity and trust?
Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve.
[2] Even though we know the intimate details of others’ experience, what do we do with it?
We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories.
[3a]2p How can our own most cringe-worthy stories help others in their recovery?
A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably,
[3b] Sticking to our own stories is the opposite of what?
but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect.
[4a]2p Is it OK for us to criticize or ridicule each other inside our own families?
Members of a family should watch such matters carefully,
[4b] What kind of thoughtlessness can cause an uproar in our families?
for one careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil.
[5] Besides obstinacy and closemindedness18, what may be our third most serious handicap19?
We alcoholics are sensitive people.
[6] What hope is there we may outgrow this handicap20?
It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap.
[1] Besides being hyper-sensitive, what else can get us into a lot trouble?
Many alcoholics are enthusiasts.
[2] Saying we are enthusiasts is another way of saying what?
They run to extremes.
[3] Free at last but new to the world of the Spirit, how might we try to manage our new lives?
At the beginning of recovery a man will take, as a rule, one of two directions.
[4a]2p Free from compulsive disruption that wrecked the family’s finances, we may do what?
He may either plunge into a frantic attempt to get on his feet in business,
[4b] Or filled with the joy of a new relationship with his Creator, we may do what?
or he may be so enthralled by his new life that he talks or thinks of little else.
[5] Our enthusiasm can lead to what?
In either case certain family problems will arise.
[6] Did the authors themselves face this challenge?
With these we have had experience galore.
[1] What risk do we run if we try desperately to manage own our financial security?
We think it dangerous if he rushes headlong at his economic problem.
[2a]2p Without realizing it, might the family be encouraging this dangerous behavior?
The family will be affected also, pleasantly at first, as they feel their money troubles are about to be solved,
[2b] But if the family is also ill, how might the spiritual malady affect their outlook?
then not so pleasantly as they find themselves neglected.
[3] How is our self-propelled effort to manage our financial security likely to affect us?
Dad may be tired at night and preoccupied by day.
[4-5]+2 What will be some signs that self-will has crept back into our thinking?
He may take small interest in the children and may show irritation when reproved for his delinquencies.
If not irritable, he may seem dull and boring, not gay* and affectionate as the family would like him to be.
* Webster’s 1937 "not gay": Not merry, not lively.
[6-7a]2p+1½ How does the family like it when the "old dad"—i.e., self-centered—reappears?
Mother may complain of inattention.
They are all disappointed,
[7b] Driven by the malady of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, what do they do?
and often let him feel it.
[8] What arises in place of the love and reconciliation which had begun to sprout?
Beginning with such complaints, a barrier arises.
[9] Why might we think their complaining is unwarranted?
He is straining every nerve to make up for lost time.
[10] If only they would be happy with all our arrangements, wouldn’t the show be great?!
He is striving to recover fortune and reputation and feels he is doing very well.
[1] Will spouse and children be happy with our self-propelled quest for financial security?
Sometimes mother and children don’t think so.
[2] Driven by resentment and self-pity of their own, what will they think of our "busy-ness"?
Having been neglected and misused in the past, they think father owes them more than they are getting.
[3-4]+2 What arrangements would they like to make for everybody’s happiness?
They want him to make a fuss over them.
They expect him to give them the nice times they used to have before he drank so much, and to show his contrition for what they suffered.
[5] But when our designs for financial security are more important, what do we not do?
But dad doesn’t give freely of himself.
[6] What happens when we fall short of their expectations and do not show proper contrition?
Resentment grows.
[7-8]+2 What signs will show us we ourselves are beginning to nurse growing resentments?
He becomes still less communicative.
Sometimes he explodes over a trifle.
[9] The family doesn’t see they are partly to blame, so they are what?
The family is mystified.
[10] So with everyone thinking life isn’t fair, everyone blames who for what?
They criticize, pointing out how he is falling down on his spiritual program.
[1] Is all this unhappiness and discord necessary?
This sort of thing can be avoided.
[2] What does it suggest when everybody is criticizing everybody else?
Both father and the family are mistaken, though each side may have some justification.
[3] When everyone makes the case they are right and everyone else is wrong, what happens?
It is of little use to argue and only makes the impasse worse.
[4] What might help the family practice patience with the recovering family member?
The family must realize that dad, though marvelously improved, is still convalescing.
[5] What attitude might help the family temper their criticism?
They should be thankful he is sober and able to be of this world once more.
[6] What can the family do instead of criticizing to help end the impasse?
Let them praise his progress.
[7] The long period of reconstruction21 can be better endured by remembering what?
Let them remember that his drinking wrought all kinds of damage that may take long to repair.
[8a]2p What will counting their blessings help the family do?
If they sense these things, they will not take so seriously his periods of crankiness, depression, or apathy,
[8b] What attitudes will best help the recovering person get over their crankiness and apathy?
which will disappear when there is tolerance, love, and spiritual understanding.
[1] What do we convalescents need to remember during these strange, early times of recovery?
The head of the house ought to remember that he is mainly to blame for what befell his home.
[2] What does the book mean when it says there will be a "long period of reconstruction"22?
He can scarcely square the account in his lifetime.
[3] Crankiness, depression, and apathy should alert us to what danger?
But he must see the danger of over-concentration on financial success.
[4] Which comes first, the cart or the horse, the cake or the baker?
Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first.
[5] What will happen if we work first to improve conscious contact with our Creatorzz?
For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.
[1] If material well-being follows spiritual progress, where does spiritual progress begin?
Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there.
[2] How far will any of us get financially if we do not first make spiritual progress at home?
He is not likely to get far in any direction if he fails to show unselfishness and love under his own roof.
[3] What reminds us to keep asking23 God to help us show love and tolerance to our families?
We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so.
[1a]2p What must each member of a difficult family learn to do?
As each member of a resentful family begins to see his shortcomings and admits them to the others,
[1b] Rigorous honesty24 and prompt admission of wrongs25 can do what?
he lays a basis for helpful discussion.
[2] To make family discussions constructive what should everyone avoid like the plague26?
These family talks will be constructive if they can be carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism.
[3] What can happen if we stick to our own faults27 and discuss matters without criticism?
Little by little, mother and children will see they ask too much, and father will see he gives too little.
[4] What’s still another way of saying, "Trust God, clean house, and help others28"?
Giving, rather than getting, will become the guiding principle.
[1] Beside chasing financial security, what’s the other tangent a recovering person may go upon?
Assume on the other hand that father has, at the outset, a stirring spiritual experience.
[2] What happens when scales of pride fall away29 and a person’s insanity suddenly30 disappears?
Overnight, as it were, he is a different man.
[3] Persons formerly agnostic who have effective spiritual experiences31,32 may become what?
He becomes a religious enthusiast.
[4] A person who suddenly enters the world of the Spirit33 can hardly do anything but what?
He is unable to focus on anything else.
[5] When the family sees that this radical change isn’t a passing fad, how might they react?
As soon as his sobriety begins to be taken as a matter of course, the family may look at their strange new dad with apprehension, then with irritation.
[6] Why are they apprehensive or even irritated with us in our new situation?
There is talk about spiritual matters morning, noon and night.
[7a]2p What may we do if we believe everybody must find our kind of spiritual experience?
He may demand that the family find God in a hurry,
[7b] Or, what if we think it’s great the wind stopped blowing and staying sober is enough34?
or exhibit amazing indifference to them and say he is above worldly considerations.
[8] What might we find ourselves saying to people who found God some other way35 or whose sense of God’s presence developed slowly36 over a long period of time?
He may tell mother, who has been religious* all her life, that she doesn’t know what it’s all about, and that she had better get his brand of spirituality while there is yet time.
* Webster's 1937 "religious": Pert. to God's existence; practicing faith in and service to God.
[1] How may others react when we exhibit spiritual presumption around them?
When father takes this tack, the family may react unfavorably.
[2] Who might the family blame if we go around acting spiritually enlightened all the time?
They may be jealous of a God who has stolen dad’s affections.
[3a]2p Or, perhaps the people around us are conflicted—on the one hand they are what?
While grateful that he drinks no more,
[3b] On the other hand, did they believe they had the power to make us shape up?
they may not like the idea that God has accomplished the miracle where they failed.
[4] What do they forget about the seriousness of the illness which had us it its grip?
They often forget father was beyond human aid.
[5] What might they not see about the limits of their human power no matter how loving?
They may not see why their love and devotion did not straighten him out.
[6] What do they conclude if we seem indifferent to their needs for attention?
Dad is not so spiritual after all, they say.
[7] The family says, "You say you will make amends, so why aren’t you meeting our needs!"
If he means to right his past wrongs, why all this concern for everyone in the world but his family?
[8] Does the family think there ought to be less talk of faith and more action to pay the bills?
What about his talk that God will take care of them?
[9] What does the family suspect if we seem to be above worldly concerns?
They suspect father is a bit balmy!
[1] Though our new life in the world of the Spirit37 may seem a bit balmy, what may be true?
He is not so unbalanced as they might think.
[2] What do many of us do in the early days of our recovery?
Many of us have experienced dad’s elation.
[3] What do many of us do once the spiritual life turned out to be rich and satisfying?
We have indulged in spiritual intoxication.
[4] What’s it like to find freedom from addiction38 after a lifetime of frustration?
Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold.
[5] Is there any limit to our joy in this new life of freedom?
Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds.
[6] We often think this new life of freedom seems better that what?
Father feels he has struck something better than gold.
[7] Thinking perhaps our new freedom might somehow be lost, what might we do?
For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself.
[8a]2p What, at this stage, have we not yet realized?
He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends
[8b] What do the steps teach us to do to stay close to our new Employer39 and do His work well?
only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product.
[1a]2p If the family adopts a spiritual way of living40,41, how might that help us?
If the family cooperates, dad will soon see
[1b] But, what should we begin to see, whether the family cooperates or not?
that he is suffering from a distortion of values.
[2a]3p As to our amazing indifference or our demands the family find God, what will we see?
He will perceive that his spiritual growth is lopsided,
[2b] What do we hope we realize about ourselves? (Hint: see long form of Tradition Twelve.)
that for an average man like himself,
[2c] What "important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes42"?
a spiritual life which does not include his family obligations may not be so perfect after all.
[3] What will help the family survive these odd growing pains of our spiritual enthusiasm?
If the family will appreciate that dad’s current behavior is but a phase of his development, all will be well.
[4] What will help more than anything our gaunt discovery of newly struck gold?
In the midst of an understanding and sympathetic family, these vagaries of dad’s spiritual infancy will quickly disappear.
[1] What, though it would not be their fault, might prolong our spiritual infancy?
The opposite may happen should the family condemn and criticize.
[2a]2p What might have been a big part of our "life of frustration"43 prior to recovery?
Dad may feel that for years his drinking has placed him on the wrong side of every argument,
[2b] What may we be thinking now if we are still new to the world of the Spirit44?
but that now he has become a superior person with God on his side.
[3] What might the family do which we may think reinforces our imagined superiority?
If the family persists in criticism, this fallacy may take a still greater hold on father.
[4] What can happen when any of us criticize a newly recovered person’s spiritual enthusiasm?
Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing.
[1a]2p Must the family agree with our new spiritual program of action?
Though the family does not fully agree with dad’s spiritual activities,
[1b] What do we hope they will do as we begin to do what we "think"45 God wants us to do?
they should let him have his head.
[2] How do we hope they react if we get all wrapped up in "giving away the entire product"46?
Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect and irresponsibility towards the family, it is well to let him go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics.
[3] In our spiritual infancy, what will doing all we can to help others do for them and for us?
During those first days of convalescence, this will do more to insure his sobriety than anything else.
[4a]2p How do all these sober activities sometimes look to families not familiar with them?
Though some of his manifestations are alarming and disagreeable,
[4b] But, what do we find when we once again put our choices and worries in God’s hands?
we think dad will be on a firmer foundation than the man who is placing business or professional success ahead of spiritual development.
[5] What is the long view of these gyrations of our early days of recovery?
He will be less likely to drink again, and anything is preferable to that.
[1a]2p What is spiritual enthusiasm without responsibility to our families and our fellows?
Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-believe
[1b] What will we finally see if we try to keep precious spiritual treasure to ourselves?
have eventually seen the childishness of it.
[2a]2p What eventually replaces the icy mountain47 of spiritual make-believe48?
This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose,
[2b] How is a spiritual experience or a spiritual awakening often described in this book49?
accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives.
[3] What does this sense of God’s presence coupled with a great sense of purpose look like?
We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth.
[4] Where are we when we keep our heads in the clouds with Him but our feet on the ground?
That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done.
[5] Are these descriptions just somebody’s thoughts, theories, opinions, or ideas?
These are the realities for us.
[6] What have the authors discovered about this reality?
We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness.
[1] Whether the recovering person gets his feet on the ground or not, what might the family do?
One more suggestion: Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live.
[2a]2p What might they discover if they take a good look at the principles reported in this book?
They can hardly fail to approve these simple principles,
[2b] Following the 12th Tradition–principles before personalities–what should the family ignore?
though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing them.
[3] How could it help the recuperating person if family members adopt this way of life?
Nothing will help the man who is off on a spiritual tangent so much as the wife who adopts a sane spiritual program, making a better practical use of it.
[1] Besides our erstwhile erratic behavior, what problems might a family face?
There will be other profound changes in the household.
[2] Who had to pay the bills, see the kids to school, and keep the family functioning these years?
Liquor incapacitated father for so many years that mother became head of the house.
[3] If we still had spouses, did they buckle, did they throw in the towel?
She met these responsibilities gallantly.
[4] What did our spouses do when we seemed completely useless?
By force of circumstances, she was often obliged to treat father as a sick or wayward child.
[5] A person trapped in dependency, i.e., "in his cups50," is what?
Even when he wanted to assert himself he could not, for his drinking placed him constantly in the wrong.
[6] While we were sick, gone, or brooding, who kept the family going?
Mother made all the plans and gave the directions.
[7] Painfully aware of our mistakes and lack of judgement, what did we do between sprees?
When sober, father usually obeyed.
[8] Who, of necessity, had to run the family show?
Thus mother, through no fault of her own, became accustomed to wearing the family trousers.
[9] Sober now, but just now learning to practice love and tolerance, what might we do?
Father, coming suddenly to life again, often begins to assert himself.
[10] What can happen if everyone tries to run the family show?
This means trouble, unless the family watches for these tendencies in each other and comes to a friendly agreement about them.
[1] What may have happened to the entire home when we became lone wolves51?
Drinking isolates most homes from the outside world.
[2] What sorts of things were we willing to give up to make time for insanity?
Father may have laid aside for years all normal activities—clubs, civic duties, sports.
[3a]2p But when sanity returns, what can happen?
When he renews interest in such things,
[3b] How may it affect the family when we begin to take new, unselfish interest in such activities?
a feeling of jealousy may arise.
[4] How much attention might the family have expected from us when we began to recover?
The family may feel they hold a mortgage on dad, so big that no equity should be left for outsiders.
[5a]2p How might the family react when we take unselfish interest in outside activities?
Instead of developing new channels of activity for themselves,
[5b] What is probably not going to be the solution to their problem?
mother and children demand that he stay home and make up the deficiency.
[1a]2p What sorts of things should we discuss and find common ground, if possible?
At the very beginning, the couple ought to frankly face the fact that each will have to yield here and there
[1b] When the family begins to recover, what will benefit them?
if the family is going to play an effective part in the new life.
[2] How do we gain support from our families for the work we now want to do to help others?
Father will necessarily spend much time with other alcoholics, but this activity should be balanced.
[3] What might happen if we begin to invite our families to join us in helping others?
New acquaintances who know nothing of alcoholism might be made and thoughtful consideration given their needs.
[4] How might the whole family become engaged?
The problems of the community might engage attention.
[5] Where else can a family go to find people to help?
Though the family has no religious connections, they may wish to make contact with or take membership in a religious body.
[1] Who might find membership in a religious body to be especially helpful?
Alcoholics who have derided religious people will be helped by such contacts.
[2a]2p What does our new relationship with our Creator make possible?
Being possessed of a spiritual experience, the alcoholic will find he has much in common with these people,
[2b] Does finding some common ground with religious folk mean we will agree on everything?
though he may differ with them on many matters.
[3] How may we "practice these principles"—Step 12—as members of religious bodies?
If he does not argue about religion, he will make new friends and is sure to find new avenues of usefulness and pleasure.
[4] If we are "practicing these principles" at home52, what can happen in our outside activities?
He and his family can be a bright spot in such congregations.
[5] How might the whole family prove helpful to unselfish leaders in such outside activities?
He may bring new hope and new courage to many a priest, minister, or rabbi, who gives his all to minister to our troubled world.
[6-7]+2 Do the principles of this program demand membership in a religious body?
We intend the foregoing as a helpful suggestion only.
So far as we are concerned, there is nothing obligatory about it.
[8] How may we temper such a suggestion with our motto, "Live and Let Live"?
As non-denominational people, we cannot make up others’ minds for them.
[9] With whom or what do we consult to decide whether to join a religious body?
Each individual should consult his own conscience.
[1] In our talk of obstacles families may face at the start of sobriety, what have we discussed?
We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things.
[2] When we look at the fears, discord, and hurt feelings of early sobriety, what do we do?
We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect.
[3] Does dealing with the worst aspects of our illness make us gloomy and ill-tempered?
But we aren’t a glum lot.
[4] If our program is to be one of attraction rather than promotion, what must we keep in mind?
If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it.
[5] What do we insist on doing for no other reason than it benefits those whom we would help?
We absolutely insist on enjoying life.
[6a]2p What do we avoid in our meetings, our family discussions, and our one-on-one talks?
We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations,
[6b] Is it our job to fix everyone else?
nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.
[7] What do we do when our paths cross those of people floundering in the quicksand?
When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal.
[8] When is it completely appropriate to share our personal tragedies and disasters with others?
For his sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past.
[9] What can happen to us if we try to fix everyone we see stuck in some kind of problem?
But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them.
[1] When we’re trying to help others, what might be better than good looks and important jobs?
So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness.
[2] What do we often do when looking back on certain disasters we have obviously survived?
Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past.
[3] How do we look at these disasters of our insanity (especially since we survived)?
But why shouldn’t we laugh?
[4] As a result of disasters, what has God done for us which we could never have imagined?
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.
[1] What do people who do not play very much have in common with those in ill health?
Everybody knows that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much.
[2] Laughter is such a good medicine—what can we do to promote more laughter in our lives?
So let each family play together or separately, as much as their circumstances warrant.
[3] Why do we urge everyone to get out and play more often?
We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.
[4] What did we used to believe which we have completely changed our minds about?
We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us.
[5] When we tried to run the show without God’s help, what did we make for ourselves?
But it is clear that we made our own misery.
[6] Whereas we used to blame God for ALL our troubles, now what do we believe?
God didn’t do it.
[7a]3p Whether we’re in bad health or don’t laugh much we need to play more and what else?
Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery,
[7b] Because we insist on enjoying life, what do we do when hardship or misfortune arrive?
but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity
[7c] What opportunity is presented to us in every difficulty?
to demonstrate His omnipotence.
[1] How long before the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms of our insanity53,54,55 disappear?
Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling.
[2] What will do much to resolve the lingering effects of our past craziness?
We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative.
[3] Are we—who were once models of insane thinking—proof of this most restorative power?
We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health.
[4] Besides mental and emotional restoration, how have our badly damaged bodies fared?
But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies.
[5] Have really only a few of us experienced this remarkable restoration?
Hardly one of our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation*.
* Webster’s 1937 "dissipation": Wasted away due to an aimless, foolish, self-indulgent living.
[1] But showing now few marks of dissipation does not mean what?
But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures.
[2] We believe God provides everything we need and this includes what?
God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds.
[3] What do we say to friends or family members with health or psychological difficulties?
Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons.
[4a]2p Though some of these providers may be self-seekers, what do most practitioners do?
Most of them give freely of themselves,
[4b] What (do we hope) motivates most professionals in the fields of medicine and psychiatry?
that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies.
[5] God works in many different ways through us and others, so what we do not do?
Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist.
[6] If we continue to work with others, how might the help of professionals be useful?
Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.
[1-4]+4 What did one doctor recommend for the sugar cravings some alcoholics temporarily or intermittently experience after quitting alcohol?
One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctor’s advice.
He thought all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue.
He added that occasionally in the night a vague craving arose which would be satisfied by candy.
Many of us have noticed a tendency to eat sweets and have found this practice beneficial.
[1] What’s another problem which affects some who are recovering from self-seeking insanity?
A word about sex relations.
[2] What did some of us find in addiction besides relief from restlessness and irritability?
Alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged.
[3] What can happen at the beginning of recovery while the effects of old insanity yet remain?
Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent.
[4] In our 4th step, if we did not review our conduct over years past56, i.e., where we were selfish, whom did we hurt, and what we should have done instead, what can happen?
Unless the reason is understood, there may be an emotional upset.
[5] What can happen instead if we ask God to mold our ideals, help us live up to them, and embrace a new attitude of "giving rather than getting"57?
Some of us had this experience, only to enjoy, in a few months, a finer intimacy than ever.
[6] If these problems continue, who might we discuss them with?
There should be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if the condition persists.
[7] Though some situations are more difficult than others, what are the authors’ experiences?
We do not know of many cases where this difficulty lasted long.
[1] What is yet another problem we may encounter when just beginning recovery?
The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children.
[2-3]+2 How might their still youthful immaturity contribute to the problem?
Their young minds were impressionable while he was drinking.
Without saying so, they may cordially hate him for what he has done to them and to their mother.
[4-5]+2 How might their inexperience affect their outlook?
The children are sometimes dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism.
They cannot seem to forgive and forget.
[6] How might their immaturity prolong their cynicism for a while?
This may hang on for months, long after their mother has accepted dad’s new way of living and thinking.
[1] If we persist in walking day by day in the path of spiritual progress58, what will the children see?
In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it.
[2a]2p When friendly relations are established with children, what can we invite them to do?
When this happens, they can be invited to join in morning meditation
[2b] When there is love and tolerance all around, what can we ask the young people to do?
and then they can take part in the daily discussion without rancor or bias.
[3-4]+2 What can happen when the children join us in our daily meditation or discussions?
From that point on, progress will be rapid.
Marvelous results often follow such a reunion.
[1a]2p What is something for others to decide for themselves, is none of our business?
Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not,
[1b] Why must we live the spiritual life regardless, constantly practicing our 10th Step prayer59?
the alcoholic member has to if he would recover.
[2] What alone will end the family’s skepticism60 about our changed outlook and way of living?
The others must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt.
[3] After years of promises, why is living the spiritual life61 the only thing that convinces?
Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker.
[1] Do we have an example of two family members each demanding the other concede62?
Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker.
[2] Was the first recovering person showing signs of restlessness, irritability, and discontent63?
There was no doubt he over-indulged.
[3] Did the other recovering person hope to fix his insanity with a little "constructive criticism"?
Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it.
[4] Was our friend willing to admit he was "somewhat at fault" if she would leave him alone?
He admitted he was overdoing these things, but frankly said that he was not ready to stop.
[5] What threw our restless and irritable friend into a tizzy?
His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger.
[6] Anger may be the dubious luxury of normal people64, but what will it do to us?
He got drunk.
[1] What do we have to admit about this idea that we can be angry like other people?
Of course our friend was wrong—dead wrong.
[2] What Steps did he have to take to recover from this relapse into insane thinking65?
He had to painfully admit that and mend his spiritual fences.
[3a]3p What happened when he decided66 to put his will and life67 back into God’s hands?
Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous,
[3b]3p What did the other recovering person have to admit about the value of their nagging?
he still smokes and drinks coffee,
[3c] What attitude must we adopt toward other people’s habits we don’t like?
but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment.
[4] Should we be grateful for what others accomplish rather than be critical of what they don’t?
She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured.
[1-5]+5 What are some little mottos that may help us remember the principles just mentioned?
We have three little mottoes which are apropos. Here they are:
First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It
[1a]2p Working with others may mean talks with doctors1, pastors, and others such as whom?
Among many employers nowadays,
[1b] What kind of experience would particularly equip someone to approach employers?
we think of one member who has spent much of his life in the world of big business.
[2] What sort of experience has the writer of this chapter had with problem employees?
He has hired and fired hundreds of men.
[3] How does his experience as an employer equip him to help other employers?
He knows the alcoholic as the employer sees him.
[4] What may employers find who are interested both in employee welfare and company profits?
His present views ought to prove exceptionally useful to business men everywhere.
[1] What would the authors of the whole book like to do for this one particular recovered person?
But let him tell you:
[1] What qualifies this particular writer to discuss problems employers may have?
I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation department employing sixty-six hundred men.
[2] What was his experience with respect to employees who had addictive personal problems?
One day my secretary came in saying that Mr. B— insisted on speaking with me.
[3] What did he later learn was probably the wrong approach to employees with such problems?
I told her to say that I was not interested.
[4] What had he tried in the past to get fellows like this to stop destructive addictive behavior?
I had warned him several times that he had but one more chance.
[5] Does warning someone to "You gotta stop or else!" seem to work very well?
Not long afterward he had called me from Hartford on two successive days, so drunk he could hardly speak.
[6] Lacking understanding of the real problem, what was his only choice at that point?
I told him he was through—finally and forever.
[1] So what did the Mr. B who was on the phone have to say?
My secretary returned to say that it was not Mr. B— on the phone; it was Mr. B—’s brother, and he wished to give me a message.
[2a]2p What did the employer expect the brother to say?
I still expected a plea for clemency,
[2b-3]+2 What news did the former employee’s brother deliver?
but these words came through the receiver: "I just wanted to tell you Paul jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last Saturday.
He left us a note saying you were the best boss he ever had, and that you were not to blame in any way."
[1] What was another experience the writer had with employees whose problems got them fired?
Another time, as I opened a letter which lay on my desk, a newspaper clipping fell out.
[2a]2p What news was in the clip that certainly affected those who knew the former employee?
It was the obituary
[2b] How did our friend remember this particular employee and his value to the company?
of one of the best salesmen I ever had.
[3] To what final state of hopelessness did the poor fellow’s unmanageable behavior take him?
After two weeks of drinking, he had placed his toe on the trigger of a loaded shotgun—the barrel was in his mouth.
[4] Lacking understanding of the illness, what had seemed to be the employer’s only option?
I had discharged him for drinking six weeks before.
[1] What was another experience the writer had with employees suffering such problems?
Still another experience: A woman’s voice came faintly over long distance from Virginia.
[2] Did the woman’s request seem at first to be about help for a recovery treatment program?
She wanted to know if her husband’s company insurance was still in force.
[3] But was she asking about health insurance benefits…or life insurance?
Four days before he had hanged himself in his woodshed.
[4a]2p What was his only option with these men who showed symptoms of a subtle insanity2,3?
I had been obliged to discharge him for drinking,
[4b] Might the company have fared better if more options had been available for this employee?
though he was brilliant, alert, and one of the best organizers I have ever known.
[1] To what does the writer attribute the loss of these men to their families and to his company?
Here were three exceptional men lost to this world because I did not understand alcoholism as I do now.
[2] What did he think of the fact that now he is telling his own story?
What irony—I became an alcoholic myself!
[3] Where might our friend have gone if he had not heard the lifesaving message4,5,6 of this book?
And but for the intervention of an understanding person, I might have followed in their footsteps.
[4] What did our friend’s spiritual malady cost his former employer?
My downfall cost the business community unknown thousands of dollars, for it takes real money to train a man for an executive position.
[5] What kind of damage does this subtle insanity7,8,9 do to company profits?
This kind of waste goes on unabated.
[6a]2p How wide does the malady seem to be spread throughout the community?
We think the business fabric is shot through with
[6b] What might serve to abate this waste of human talent and financial resources?
a situation which might be helped by better understanding all around.
[1] Who do most employers also care about who care about their businesses?
Nearly every modern employer feels a moral responsibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries to meet these responsibilities.
[2-3]+2 Why are employers seldom able to help employees with symptoms of the subtle insanity10?
That he has not always done so for the alcoholic is easily understood.
To him the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first magnitude.
[4] What do some employers do even when they see an employee who seems to have lost control?
Because of the employee’s special ability, or of his own strong personal attachment to him, the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period.
[5] Just like everyone else who has dealt with the malady, what have employers tried?
Some employers have tried every known remedy.
[6] In spite of failed efforts with various remedies, what do most employers not lack?
In only a few instances has there been a lack of patience and tolerance.
[7] Can any of us who have displayed serious problems—sometimes on the job—blame them?
And we, who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us.
[1] Do we have an example of an employer of this kind?
Here, for instance, is a typical example: An officer of one of the largest banking institutions in America knows I no longer drink.
[2] Though we avoid branding someone as insane, are its symptoms easy to recognize?
One day he told me about an executive of the same bank who, from his description, was undoubtedly alcoholic.
[3] What can we say to employers who have employees with such problems?
This seemed to me like an opportunity to be helpful, so I spent two hours talking about alcoholism, the malady, and described the symptoms and results as well as I could.
[4-6]+3 Since our banker friend had never had the problem himself, what was his response?
His comment was, "Very interesting.
But I’m sure this man is done drinking.
He has just returned from a three-months’ leave of absence, has taken a cure, looks fine, and to clinch the matter, the board of directors told him this was his last chance."
[1] What usually happens to someone with the problem who can straighten up temporarily?
The only answer I could make was that if the man followed the usual pattern, he would go on a bigger bust than ever.
[2] What were our friend’s thoughts as he considered the certainty of what would happen?
I felt this was inevitable and wondered if the bank was doing the man an injustice.
[3] Almost positive that without help the fellow would lose control again, what did he ask?
Why not bring him into contact with some of our alcoholic crowd?
[4] What could happen if this fellow could meet some of us?
He might have a chance.
[5a]2p What proof did our friend offer that we might be able to help?
I pointed out that I had had nothing to drink whatever for three years,
[5b] For emphasis, did he address the belief that such insanity may be caused by external events?
and this in the face of difficulties that would have made nine out of ten men drink their heads off.
[6] Still bargaining with the banker for an opportunity to help, what was our friend’s final offer?
Why not at least afford him an opportunity to hear my story?
[7-8]+2 .What misconceptions did the Banker have to about recovery from addictive11 behavior?
"Oh no," said my friend, "this chap is either through with liquor, or he is minus a job.
If he has your will power and guts, he will make the grade."
[1] How did our friend feel when he saw he could not help the banker?
I wanted to throw up my hands in discouragement, for I saw that I had failed to help my banker friend understand.
[2] What do many people not believe about the subtle insanity12,13,14,15, that it is an illness16?
He simply could not believe that his brother-executive suffered from a serious illness.
[3] What do we do when we’ve told our history, made our case, but see no immediate response?
There was nothing to do but wait.
[1a]2p Because the man had a problem beyond his control17, what happened?
Presently the man did slip
[1b] What was the company’s only option due to their lack of understanding of the illness?
and was fired.
[2] When is the best time to contact a person with a problem18?
Following his discharge, we contacted him.
[3] Someone who has "tried everything" but nothing has worked may be willing to do what?
Without much ado, he accepted the principles and procedure that had helped us.
[4] What happens when a person decides—per the program—God is going to be their Director19?
He is undoubtedly on the road to recovery.
[5a]2p What is perhaps the first lesson an employer (or anyone) can learn from this story?
To me, this incident illustrates lack of understanding as to what really ails the alcoholic,
[5b] But what is clear in this story for employers (or really any professional)?
and lack of knowledge as to what part employers might profitably take in salvaging their sick employees.
[1] Where do employers begin who want to offer more options than threats and firings?
If you desire to help it might be well to disregard your own drinking, or lack of it.
[2] What are most people surprised then to learn about themselves and their own beliefs?
Whether you are a hard drinker, a moderate drinker or a teetotaler, you may have some pretty strong opinions, perhaps prejudices.
[3] How might someone’s attitude toward another’s symptoms affect their ability to help?
Those who drink moderately may be more annoyed with an alcoholic than a total abstainer would be.
[4] Might an employer easily assume everyone can deal with such problems as he himself does?
Drinking occasionally, and understanding your own reactions, it is possible for you to become quite sure of many things which, so far as the alcoholic is concerned, are not always so.
[5-8]+4 What leads a person to believe others can deal with problems the same as himself?
As a moderate drinker, you can take your liquor or leave it alone.
Whenever you want to, you control your drinking.
Of an evening, you can go on a mild bender, get up in the morning, shake your head and go to business.
To you, liquor is no real problem.
[9a]2p What is difficult for someone to understand whose vulnerabilities may be very different?
You cannot see why it should be to anyone else,
[9b] In such a case, what is it only logical to conclude about others who have certain problems?
save the spineless and stupid.
[1] What is the natural reaction of most people who deal with someone with subtle insanity20,21,22?
When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible.
[2] What may a person feel—even one who fully understands the illness and its powerlessness?
Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising.
[1] When employers can let go of their very natural prejudgments, what might they do next?
A look at the alcoholic in your organization is many times illuminating.
[2] What is true about employees who may put their insanity on hold temporarily?
Is he not usually brilliant, fast-thinking, imaginative and likeable?
[3] When he is free of the affliction for the moment, is he a pretty good employee?
When sober, does he not work hard and have a knack of getting things done?
[4] What might an employer ask himself about an employee who occasionally slips and slides?
If he had these qualities and did not drink would he be worth retaining?
[5] What might an employer ask if he could see the affliction as a treatable illness?
Should he have the same consideration as other ailing employees?
[6] What would be the question IF there were a good chance his problem could be removed?
Is he worth salvaging?
* Note to study leader: As an option, read the next sentence with the next paragraph.
[7] If an employee is worth keeping, what could the employer do instead of firing him?
If your decision is yes, whether the reason be humanitarian or business or both, then the following suggestions may be helpful.
[1] What’s the next step for an employer—or really anyone—who would like to help?
Can you discard the feeling that you are dealing only with habit, with stubbornness, or a weak will?
[2a]2p What can we give an employer—or anyone—and ask them to read for real answers?
If this presents difficulty, re-reading chapters two and three,
[2b] What do these two chapters say about overcoming a spiritual malady with will power?
where the alcoholic sickness is discussed at length might be worthwhile.
[3] What do businessmen want to know about the costs of a project before deciding to start it?
You, as a business man, want to know the necessities before considering the result.
[4a]2p If an employer has read chapters two and three, what now may be his view of the employee?
If you concede that your employee is ill,
[4b-6]+2.5 So, what are the employer’s real "necessities" if he would make this employee an asset?
can he be forgiven for what he has done in the past?
Can his past absurdities be forgotten?
Can it be appreciated that he has been a victim of crooked thinking, directly caused by the action of alcohol on his brain?
[1-3]+3 Does the author seem to suggest the substance is the problem rather than a symptom?
I well remember the shock I received when a prominent doctor in Chicago told me of cases where pressure of the spinal fluid actually ruptured the brain.
No wonder an alcoholic is strangely irrational.
Who wouldn’t be, with such a fevered brain?
[4a]2p Does the author suggest that only those afflicted with alcohol addiction are irrational?
Normal drinkers are not so affected,
[4b] That those who have their own symptoms of the spiritual malady23 cannot understand?
nor can they understand the aberrations of the alcoholic.
[1] Why do we think no one knows about our problems?
Your man has probably been trying to conceal a number of scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones.
[2] Some of our worst "personal adventures"24 may be what?
They may be disgusting.
[3] How baffling can such erratic or seemingly insane behavior be to anyone—even ourselves?
You may be at a loss to understand how such a seemingly above-board chap could be so involved.
[4] Does the author again suggest the cause is a substance rather than a spiritual malady25,26?
But these scrapes can generally be charged, no matter how bad, to the abnormal action of alcohol on his mind.
[5] And again, that bad behavior is a symptom of the symptoms not a symptom of the malady?
When drinking, or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when normal, will do incredible things.
[6] What symptom of a spiritual malady sets the cycle of dependency in motion again27?
Afterward, his revulsion will be terrible.
[7] Again, what view of the malady blames the substance for recurring symptoms of the illness?
Nearly always, these antics indicate nothing more than temporary conditions.
[1] But, in fact, is any one cross-section of humanity about the same as any other?
This is not to say that all alcoholics are honest and upright when not drinking.
[2a]2p What reveals the symptoms of the spiritual malady to be independent of any substance?
Of course that isn’t so,
[2b] What is characteristic of dishonest people no matter what their other symptoms?
and such people often may impose on you.
[3] What do con-artists of all stripes and symptoms try to do?
Seeing your attempt to understand and help, some men will try to take advantage of your kindness.
[4a]2p A "con-artist" of any kind in the throes of some dependency will not want to do what?
If you are sure your man does not want to stop,
[4b] What may be the best way to help someone who doesn’t want to stop their dependency?
he may as well be discharged, the sooner the better.
[5] If someone really doesn’t want to stop, what is NOT going to help them?
You are not doing him a favor by keeping him on.
[6] What might someone not receive if we keep propping them up?
Firing such an individual may prove a blessing to him.
[7] From our author’s personal experience, what did it take for him to want to stop?
I know, in my own particular case, that nothing my company could have done would have stopped me for, so long as I was able to hold my position, I could not possibly realize how serious my situation was.
[8] How might a firing followed by an offer of help be a blessing?
It may be just the jolt he needs.
[9] Does our author think it might have helped him if his company had taken this approach?
Had they fired me first, and had they then taken steps to see that I was presented with the solution contained in this book, I might have returned to them six months later, a well man.
[1] What best identifies someone with a problem whom an employer may be able to help?
But there are many men who want to stop, and with them you can go far.
[2] Why should an employer spend time or money to understand the spiritual malady?
Your understanding treatment of their cases will pay dividends.
[1] Does the employer know of an employee who is having problems?
Perhaps you have such a man in mind.
[2a]2p What’s the first thing the employer wants to know about the person?
He wants to quit drinking
[2b] What must the employer know about himself before proceeding?
and you want to help him, even if it be only a matter of good business.
[3] What will help the employer if he has read the book, if he has heard our own story?
You now know more about alcoholism.
[4] What attitude toward this person’s symptoms will help guide the employer in his efforts?
You can see that he is mentally and physically sick.
[5] How may this attitude help the employer approach this messy business?
You are willing to overlook his past performances.
[6] Where do we begin?
Suppose an approach is made something like this:
[1] Where do we begin our approach to someone who may or may not want to quit?
State that you know about his drinking, and that it must stop.
[2a]3p What do we say to assure someone our aim is to help them, not find fault with them?
You might say you appreciate his abilities,
[2b] And that we are not there to threaten them, but to value them?
would like to keep him,
[2c] But, what must be said to convince the person their own choices have consequences?
but cannot if he continues to drink.
[3] From the very start of a conversation like this, what should be our attitude and why?
A firm attitude at this point has helped many of us.
[1a]2p How do we show them we want to offer a brand new approach to their problem?
Next he can be assured that you do not intend to lecture, moralize, or condemn;
[1b] What do we now know about efforts to get people to exert their own willpower to quit?
that if this was done formerly, it was because of misunderstanding.
[2] How do we show the fellow we now understand his problem quite differently?
If possible express a lack of hard feeling toward him.
[3] What new understanding lets us show tolerance, pity, and patience28 for the fellow?
At this point, it might be well to explain alcoholism, the illness.
[4a]3p Whereas people with such problems we used to tag as weak or stupid, what do we now say?
Say that you believe he is a gravely ill person, with this qualification—
[4b] Just what do we mean when we say a person with such a problem is "gravely l29"?
being perhaps fatally ill,
[4c] Upon what one condition rests our willingness to offer a plan of recovery?
does he want to get well?
[5] Why do we keep asking a person, "Do you want to quit, do you really want to quit?"
You ask, because many alcoholics, being warped and drugged, do not want to quit.
[6] Does this fellow just want to keep his job or family or does he really want to quit?
But does he?
[7] Does our friend want to cherry-pick his treatment options or will he do each thing we suggest?
Will he take every necessary step, submit to anything to get well, to stop drinking forever?
[1a]2p What must we ourselves be sure of before we devote more time this minute30?
If he says yes, does he really mean it,
[1b] Can we just take the person’s word for it or does we have to be willing to look deeper?
or down inside does he think he is fooling you, and that after rest and treatment he will be able to get away with a few drinks now and then?
[2] If we’re willing to help, how willing are we to make certain this fellow wants to quit?
We believe a man should be thoroughly probed on these points.
[3] What must we be completely honest with ourselves about, completely facing reality about?
Be satisfied he is not deceiving himself or you.
[1] During our first talk with this person, should we tell him or her about the Big Book of AA?
Whether you mention this book is a matter for your discretion.
[2a]4p What word means to "stall", "evade", "equivocate", "play for time", or "procrastinate"zz?
If he temporizes
[2b] What indicates that someone, even one in serious trouble, is not yet31 ready for this approach?
and still thinks he can ever drink again, even beer,
[2c] What do we ourselves do or tell employers or families to do with a temporizer?
he might as well be discharged after the next bender
[2d] How do we know another bender is certain for someone who’s not ready to go to any length?
which, if an alcoholic, he is almost certain to have.
[3] How sure should our friend be his next bender will cost him our help or his job or family?
He should understand that emphatically.
[4] What do we need to know and what does our friend need to know about himself?
Either you are dealing with a man who can and will get well or you are not.
[5] What is our only logical decision if our friend isn’t willing to follow instructions?
If not, why waste time with him?
[6a]2p What may some say who believe we must accommodate the man who doesn’t want to quit?
This may seem severe,
[6b] But what in fact may be best for everyone including the person with the problem?
but it is usually the best course.
[1a]2p What two things should the employer determine before deciding to offer help?
After satisfying yourself that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so,
[1b] Once the employer decides to help, what should he do?
you may suggest a definite course of action.
[2] What might be the first thing an employer or a family must do to get help for the fellow?
For most alcoholics who are drinking, or who are just getting over a spree, a certain amount of physical treatment is desirable, even imperative.
[3] If professional care is needed, who should be asked to provide it?
The matter of physical treatment should, of course, be referred to your own doctor.
[4] What is the purpose of such physical or psychological treatment?
Whatever the method, its object is to thoroughly clear mind and body of the effects of alcohol.
[5] Are we talking about care that is lengthy, complicated, or expensive?
In competent hands, this seldom takes long nor is it very expensive.
[6] Why is it important for a person to have a clear mind and body right from the start?
Your man will fare better if placed in such physical condition that he can think straight and no longer craves liquor.
[7a]2p If medical insurance won’t cover such care, what may an employer or family have to do?
If you propose such a procedure to him, it may be necessary to advance the cost of treatment,
[7b] If an employer advances the cost, what must the fellow agree to do?
but we believe it should be made plain that any expense will later be deducted from his pay.
[8] Why is it better for someone who wants to recover to pay for his recovery?
It is better for him to feel fully responsible.
[1] What if our fellow thinks this physical treatment is the major part of the plan?
If your man accepts your offer, it should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture.
[2] What will be the MAIN focus of any recovery plan that leads to permanent recovery?
Though you are providing him with the best possible medical attention, he should understand that he must undergo a change of heart.
[3] What do we learn once we understands the spiritual nature of the illness?
To get over drinking will require a transformation of thought and attitude.
[4] This change of thought and attitude is so central to recovery that we have to do what?
We all had to place recovery above everything, for without recovery we would have lost both home and business.
[1] Even when our fellow says he will go to any length to stop, what do we still ask ourselves?
Can you have every confidence in his ability to recover?
[2] Conversely, can our friend have every confidence we will protect his privacy?
While on the subject of confidence, can you adopt the attitude that so far as you are concerned this will be a strictly personal matter, that his alcoholic derelictions, the treatment about to be undertaken, will never be discussed without his consent?
[3] How do we reassure our friend of our commitment to his privacy?
It might be well to have a long chat with him on his return.
[1a]2p After we "qualify" our fellow, what can we offer him which will outline recovery?
To return to the subject matter of this book:
[1b] Why should we offer him this book32,33?
It contains full suggestions by which the employee may solve his problem.
[2] To some, the ideas that our main problem is our thinking34 and the solution35,36 is spiritual are what?
To you, some of the ideas which it contains are novel.
[3] Do some of us suspect these suggestions conflict with beliefs we may already hold?
Perhaps you are not quite in sympathy with the approach we suggest.
[4a]2p What do we say to someone who believes there may be other, perhaps better treatments?
By no means do we offer it as the last word on this subject,
[4b] But why are we so anxious to recommend this plan rather than any other?
but so far as we are concerned, it has worked with us.
[5] What may we suggest with confidence is the best criteria to evaluate any plan of recovery?
After all, are you not looking for results rather than methods?
[6-7]+2 Why should we explain this plan even if our fellow says later he doesn’t like the plan?"
Whether your employee likes it or not, he will learn the grim truth about alcoholism.
That won’t hurt him a bit, even though he does not go for this remedy.
[1] Who should an employer or family contact if the fellow needs medical or psychological help?
We suggest you draw the book to the attention of the doctor who is to attend your patient during treatment.
[2a]2p What should family or employers ask the fellow to do as soon as his head is clear?
If the book is read the moment the patient is able, while acutely depressed,
[2b] What sometimes happens if a fellow reads the book as soon as he is physically able?
realization of his condition may come to him.
[1] What else do we ask the doctor to do as soon as the patient comes to his senses?
We hope the doctor will tell the patient the truth about his condition, whatever that happens to be.
[2] Do any of us–doctor, family, or we ourselves–ever tell the fellow he must follow this path?
When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions.
[3] What is one of the most important principles of the plan of action offered in this book37?
The man must decide for himself.
[1] What do we hope motivates the employee to want to take the Book’s suggestions?
You are betting, of course, that your changed attitude plus the contents of this book will turn the trick.
[2] But, does our approach always work—even when a fellow says he’s willing to do anything?
In some cases it will, and in others it may not.
[3] What have we learned by working with some who really wanted to get well?
But we think that if you persevere, the percentage of successes will gratify you.
[4] What do we hope will make recovery more certain for those who wish to recover?
As our work spreads and our numbers increase, we hope your employees may be put in personal contact with some of us.
[5] What can be accomplished with employer/family goodwill and the contents of this Book?
Meanwhile, we are sure a great deal can be accomplished by the use of the book alone.
[1] What should an employer do as soon as a fellow begins to recover and then returns to work?
On your employee’s return, talk with him.
[2] How does an employer find out if the fellow has really been relieved of his problem?
Ask him if he thinks he has the answer.
[3a]3p If an employee sees his privacy has been protected, what may he be willing to do?
If he feels free to discuss his problems with you,
[3b] What will an employee know when he sees his employer showing an attitude38 of goodwill?
if he knows you understand and will not be upset by anything he wishes to say,
[3c] How may it help him if the employer proceeds in the ways just mentioned?
he will probably be off to a fast start.
[1] If an employee feels free to be honest, what might his employer need to be prepared for?
In this connection, can you remain undisturbed if the man proceeds to tell you shocking things?
[2a]2p What might the employer be somewhat shocked to learn?
He may, for example, reveal that he has padded his expense account
[2b] On the other hand, what might the employer be greatly shocked to learn?
or that he has planned to take your best customers away from you.
[3a]2p Is there any limit to what the employee might say who just started a new way of life?
In fact, he may say almost anything if he has accepted our solution
[3b] What does the program have to do with such new found honesty?
which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty.
[4] Is the employer willing to charge such revelations to the spiritual illness39,40?
Can you charge this off as you would a bad account and start fresh with him?
[5] Where harm was done, however, may the employer ask the employee to repair the damage?
If he owes you money you may wish to make terms.
[1] How might the employer personally be able to help his newly recovered employee?
If he speaks of his home situation, you can undoubtedly make helpful suggestions.
[2a]2p What might be of great help to the employee?
Can he talk frankly with you
[2b] But such talks should be allowed only so long as what?
so long as he does not bear business tales or criticize his associates?
[3] What reward may the employer expect who can stick to this openminded attitude?
With this kind of employee such an attitude will command undying loyalty.
[1] What serious handicaps can lead us back to the subtle insanity41,42,43?
The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear.
[2] What kind of things can fan the flames of our serious handicaps in a business environment?
Wherever men are gathered together in business there will be rivalries and, arising out of these, a certain amount of office politics.
[3] What’s a symptom that shows we are being "driven by a hundred forms of fear"44?
Sometimes we alcoholics have an idea that people are trying to pull us down.
[4] Is there often a serious disconnect between reality and fear-driven imagination of reality?
Often this is not so at all.
[5] What can happen wherever such rivalries tempt us to participate in them?
But sometimes our drinking will be used politically.
[1] What’s an example of inter-office rivalries playing havoc with a person’s recovery?
One instance comes to mind in which a malicious individual was always making friendly little jokes about an alcoholic’s drinking exploits.
[2] So, the rival was making little jokes—funny, ha-ha—but what was he really doing?
In this way he was slyly carrying tales.
[3-4]+2 What’s another example of office politics working against someone’s recovery?
In another case, an alcoholic was sent to a hospital for treatment.
Only a few knew of it at first but, within a short time, it was billboarded throughout the entire company.
[5] How can office politics dampen an employer’s efforts to salvage a good employee?
Naturally this sort of thing decreased the man’s chance of recovery.
[6] What might an employer have to do to prevent losing a good employee in such a situation?
The employer can many times protect the victim from this kind of talk.
[7a]2p What is obviously not necessary and not recommended for the employer?
The employer cannot play favorites,
[7b] What can a boss do who has made an effort to restore an employee to usefulness?
but he can always defend a man from needless provocation and unfair criticism.
[1] Why might an employer want to salvage a recovering employee?
As a class, alcoholics are energetic people.
[2] What do employers know about such employees?
They work hard and they play hard.
[3] What can an employer expect from such an employee who sobers up and stays sober?
Your man should be on his mettle* to make good.
* Webster’s 1937 "on one’s mettle": Incited by honor, fortitude, ardor, etc. to use one’s best efforts.
[4] What do people often do45 who suddenly find themselves free of a debilitating addiction?
Being somewhat weakened, and faced with physical and mental readjustment to a life which knows no alcohol, he may overdo.
[5] As much as an employer might love the new, super productivity, what should perhaps he do?
You may have to curb his desire to work sixteen hours a day.
[6] People need laughter46, so an employer may also need to encourage his employee to do what?
You may need to encourage him to play once in a while.
[7a]2p With a whole a new outlook on life47, someone newly recovered will want to do what?
He may wish to do a lot for other alcoholics
[7b] Why might this be disturbing to a boss whose charity has already been much stretched?
and something of the sort may come up during business hours.
[8] What should an employer be ready to allow if he knows the necessity of such work?
A reasonable amount of latitude will be helpful.
[9] How does letting a fellow work with others this way protect the employer’s investment?
This work is necessary to maintain his sobriety.
[1a]2p Besides doing his job again—sober—how else might a recovering person be useful?
After your man has gone along without drinking for a few months, you may be able to make use of his services with other employees
[1b] Because, what are some other employees doing who haven’t yet admitted their problem?
who are giving you the alcoholic run-around—
[1c] If the boss tells them their insanity must stop, what may they be willing to do?
provided, of course, they are willing to have a third party in the picture.
[2a]2p Who now can be a big help to these other employees?
An alcoholic who has recovered,
[2b] Does it matter what a person’s job title is if he knows firsthand something about recovery?
but holds a relatively unimportant job, can talk to a man with a better position.
[3] Practicing such principles as humility and anonymity, what can he be trusted to do?
Being on a radically different basis of life, he will never take advantage of the situation.
[1] Can an employer count on a recovered person to do his job faithfully and responsibly?
Your man may be trusted.
[2] What might years of an employee’s former insanity48 have done to an employer’s trust level?
Long experience with alcoholic excuses naturally arouses suspicion.
[3] Having heard many wild excuses over the years may lead an employer to conclude what?
When his wife next calls saying he is sick, you might jump to the conclusion he is drunk.
[4a]2p If in reality the fellow "got started" again, what will he do the instant his sanity returns?
If he is, and is still trying to recover, he will tell you about it
[4b] If he really wants sobriety, he knows he must be completely honest even if it means what?
even if it means the loss of his job.
[5] What is perhaps the first thing a person learns who really hits bottom?
For he knows he must be honest if he would live at all.
[6] Though a boss thinks it risky, what attitude goes far to help an employee stick to sobriety?
He will appreciate knowing you are not bothering your head about him, that you are not suspicious nor are you trying to run his life so he will be shielded from temptation to drink.
[7] What may an employer observe who wants to know whether an employee can be trusted?
If he is conscientiously following the program of recovery he can go anywhere your business may call him.
[1] What may make an employer reconsider his decision to help this person?
In case he does stumble, even once, you will have to decide whether to let him go.
[2] What single factor should guide the employer’s decision let go of a relapsed employee?
If you are sure he doesn’t mean business, there is no doubt you should discharge him.
[3] But, if that one factor doesn’t apply, what may the employer wish to do?
If, on the contrary, you are sure he is doing his utmost, you may wish to give him another chance.
[4] What is well understood about the employer’s primary responsibility to the business?
But you should feel under no obligation to keep him on, for your obligation has been well discharged already.
[1-2]+2 If the organization is a large one, what else can be done?
There is another thing you might wish to do.
If your organization is a large one, your junior executives might be provided with this book.
[3] What can the boss tell the juniors about his new attitude toward recovering people?
You might let them know you have no quarrel with the alcoholics of your organization.
[4] How might an employee’s literal "insanity"49 affect the junior department heads?
These juniors are often in a difficult position.
[5] How did the company’s old policy of firing problem people make a junior’s job difficult?
Men under them are frequently their friends.
[6a]2p What might a junior have done if a friend under their supervision had such problems?
So, for one reason or another, they cover these men,
[6b] How might the junior’s lack of knowledge of the illness have made matters worse?
hoping matters will take a turn for the better.
[7a]2p What might the junior have done to his own career by such cover-ups for subordinates?
They often jeopardize their own positions by trying to help serious drinkers
[7b] Based on an employee’s sober value to the company and their willingness to embrace the program, what are the only two options a manager can realistically offer the person?
who should have been fired long ago, or else given an opportunity to get well.
[1a]2p What can prepare a line manager to offer the recovery option instead of firing?
After reading this book,
[1b-2]+2 What telling question can the junior ask an employee who has the problem?
a junior executive can go to such a man and say approximately this, "Look here, Ed.
Do you want to stop drinking or not?
[3] Does a manager need to feign a lot of concern for a person with this spiritual malady50,51?
You put me on the spot every time you get drunk.
[4] If the exec is honest with the person who needs help, whose interests are most important?
It isn’t fair to me or the firm.
[5] If the junior has read this book, what can he confidently say to the problem person?
I have been learning something about alcoholism.
[6] Based on what he reads in the book, what can the exec tell a friend who works for him?
If you are an alcoholic, you are a mighty sick man.
[7] What educated guess can the exec now make based on the descriptions in Chapters 2 & 3?
You act like one.
[8] Because the firm believes this fellow—if sober—is worth keeping, what can the exec offer?
The firm wants to help you get over it, and if you are interested, there is a way out.
[9] What can the exec promise the company will do?
If you take it, your past will be forgotten and the fact that you went away for treatment will not be mentioned.
[10] If the fellow isn’t willing for whatever reason, what alternative should the company offer?
But if you cannot or will not stop drinking, I think you ought to resign."
[1] What if the junior himself thinks the issue is moral, or plain stupidity, or a lack of will power?
Your junior executive may not agree with the contents of our book.
[2] If the junior doesn’t agree with the book, what should he not be pressured to do?
He need not, and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospect.
[3] But if he reads the book, he’s likely to find chapters 2 and 3 helping him to do what?
But at least he will understand the problem and will no longer be misled by ordinary promises.
[4] What can a junior do who sees recovery is possible for someone who really wants to quit?
He will be able to take a position with such a man which is eminently fair and square.
[5] Once he sees the problem is beyond human control, what is he likely to stop doing?
He will have no further reason for covering up an alcoholic employee.
[1-2]+2 Understanding the spiritual illness52,53 and solutions gives a company what new option?
It boils right down to this: No man should be fired just because he is alcoholic.
If he wants to stop, he should be afforded a real chance.
[3] What option should the company offer those who cannot be honest with themselves?
If he cannot or does not want to stop, he should be discharged.
[4] Are there many exceptions?
The exceptions are few.
[1] What can the company achieve by offering recovery to employees who want to quit?
We think this method of approach will accomplish several things.
[2] How will this new option affect productive employees who really want to quit?
It will permit the rehabilitation of good men.
[3] Should the company be reluctant to fire employees who won’t quit or can’t quit?
At the same time you will feel no reluctance to rid yourself of those who cannot or will not stop.
[4] Just to recap, our basis of approach to employers is to help them solve what problem?
Alcoholism may be causing your organization considerable damage in its waste of time, men and reputation.
[5] What do we suggest to business people help their business?
We hope our suggestions will help you plug up this sometimes serious leak.
[6a]2p To be most helpful to spiritually ill employees, what do we say to the company?
We think we are sensible when we urge that you stop this waste
[6b] If an employer can see the company may benefit, who may actually find a new way of life?
and give your worthwhile man a chance.
[1] What does our author suggest may be the usual outcome of our approaches to employers?
The other day an approach was made to the vice president of a large industrial concern.
[2-3]+2 Was the VP easily convinced the recovery option was a great new idea?
He remarked: "I’m mighty glad you fellows got over your drinking.
But the policy of this company is not to interfere with the habits of our employees.
[4] What option was the company already convinced was the best policy?
If a man drinks so much that his job suffers, we fire him.
[5] What makes the company think it has already solved such problems in its own best interests?
I don’t see how you can be of any help to us for, as you see, we don’t have any alcoholic problem."
[6-9]+4 But, what is the company doing in other areas that contradicts its confident conclusion?
This same company spends millions for research every year.
Their cost of production is figured to a fine decimal point.
They have recreational facilities.
There is company insurance.
[10] How do their proactive spending programs show they understand the benefits?
There is a real interest, both humanitarian and business, in the well-being of employees.
[11] But, what do they often believe are the effects of this spiritual malady on their business?
But alcoholism—well, they just don’t believe they have it.
[1] What kind of attitude is "Employees who act like this are no problem for us—we fire them."?
Perhaps this is a typical attitude.
[2] What do we formerly insane persons who "acted like this" think of this attitude?
We, who have collectively seen a great deal of business life, at least from the alcoholic angle, had to smile at this gentleman’s sincere opinion.
[3] How might an employer react if he knew how we ourselves long acted in his workplace?
He might be shocked if he knew how much alcoholism is costing his organization a year.
[4] Depending on the size of the company, what may the company not realize?
That company may harbor many actual or potential alcoholics.
[5] How much do managers know who may be slightly insulated from workers down the line?
We believe that managers of large enterprises often have little idea how prevalent this problem is.
[6] What can managers do to find out more about the effects of such illness54 on their productivity?
Even if you feel your organization has no alcoholic problem, it might pay to take another look down the line.
[7] Why should a manager who thinks all is well bother to take a closer look?
You may make some interesting discoveries.
[1] When we approach Employers, Pastors, Doctors, and other professionals, who is our target?
Of course, this chapter refers to alcoholics, sick people, deranged men.
[2] Mention of the symptoms of the spiritual malady, brings what to the minds of most people?
What our friend, the vice president, had in mind was the habitual or whoopee drinker.
[3a]2p What policy works best with such people who can’t quit or won’t quit their insanity?
As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound,
[3b] But, do most employers realize there is a difference?
but he did not distinguish between such people and the alcoholic.
[1] Does offering a recovery option mean giving someone special treatment from then on?
It is not to be expected that an alcoholic employee will receive a disproportionate amount of time and attention.
[2] Similarly, for example, should newcomers be the center of attention in meetings?
He should not be made a favorite.
[3] What will a person who can and will recover do if we try to wrap them in cotton wool55?
The right kind of man, the kind who recovers, will not want this sort of thing.
[4-5]+2 A person who can and will recover will not do what?
He will not impose.
Far from it.
[6] A person who has been given a chance, takes it, and starts a new life will do what?
He will work like the devil and thank you to his dying day.
[1] At the time of this writing, what kind of businessman was the author of this chapter?
Today I own a little company.
[2a]2p How many of his employees had the problems discussed in this chapter?
There are two alcoholic employees,
[2b] With the help they received, what kind of employees did these two grateful men become?
who produce as much as five normal salesmen.
[3-4]+2 What seems to have made them such hard workers?
But why not?
They have a new attitude, and they have been saved from a living death.
[5] In his role as an employer, what did the author say about the recovery option he gave them?
I have enjoyed every moment spent in getting them straightened out.
[1] How do many people deal with restlessness, irritability or discontent1 without consequence?
For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination.
[2] What do "normal" people seem to find in this simple way to change their feelings?
It means release from care, boredom and worry.
[3] What’s it like for such people who seem to have no problem at all with this way of relief?
It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good.
[4] But does our insane dependence2,3,4 suggest these effects are the same for everyone?
But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking.
[5] By the time we realized we had a problem, what had already happened to us?
The old pleasures were gone.
[6] What happened to those moments of "ease and comfort"5 we used to find?
They were but memories.
[7] Trying again and again, what did we shockingly discover we simply could not do?
Never could we recapture the great moments of the past.
[8a]2p What made us try again and again to find relief in ways that caused even more problems?
There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did
[8b] What did we obsess6 about…again and again and again?
and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it.
[9] What happened every time we thought we could "control it this time"?
There was always one more attempt—and one more failure.
[1] What did we do when disgusted friends grew tired of watching us destroy ourselves?
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself.
[2a]2p Who or what defeated us, literally becoming our master7?
As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm,
[2b] What settled in on us like a cold, wet fog?
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down.
[3] Then as time passed, what was the only thing this chilling vapor of loneliness continued to do?
It thickened, ever becoming blacker.
[4a]3p Where did this inevitably take us. this desperate craving for relief from loneliness?
Some of us sought out sordid places,
[4b] What did we hope, ever hope to find in such dangerous places?
hoping to find understanding companionship
[4c] What was it we desperately sought from whatever companions we found there?
and approval.
[5a]4p Did we find the approval we looked for?
Momentarily we did—
[5b] What inevitably followed whatever fleeting comfort our companions grudgingly yielded?
then would come oblivion
[5c] What’s a rather mild way of describing the process of "coming to" from such oblivion?
and the awful awakening
[5d] What is a far more accurate description of this frightful "coming to" from oblivion?
to face the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.
[6] Who immediately understands what the authors here say?
Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
[1-4]+4 What do people often say who fight this problem with all the will power they can muster?
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don’t miss it at all.
Feel better.
Work better.
Having a better time."
[5] How do recovered members respond who tried this method and know it doesn’t work?
As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally*.
* Webster’s 1937 "sally": Flight of fancy; a leaping attack from a fortress toward a besieging enemy.
[6] What’s it like to be someone who doesn’t want to admit the hopelessness of their problem?
We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits.
[7] What is someone doing who convinces himself he doesn’t have a problem?
He fools himself.
[8] What does he really think about…every…freaking…minute…every…freaking…day?
Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them.
[9a]2p Then he does what (again) when he convince himself (again) it "won’t hurt this time"?
He will presently try the old game again,
[9b] Without a new outlook on life, a new relationship with his Creator8, he is what?
for he isn’t happy about his sobriety.
[10] What does the phrase "living one day at a time" mean to a fellow in this condition?
He cannot picture life without alcohol.
[11] What will happen to someone who cannot break the habit and loses all self-confidence9?
Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it.
[12] What words might describe a person’s feelings who hits this real bottom10?
Then he will know loneliness such as few do.
[13] What option often looms large to someone who sees no way out at this point?
He will be at the jumping-off place.
[14] A person who sees no way out of a hopeless situation might wish for what?
He will wish for the end.
[1] What will a person wishing for the end find in this Book?
We have shown how we got out from under.
[2] What, along with faith, honesty and humility11, is needed to "get out from under"
You say, "Yes, I’m willing.
[3] How might certain pre-conceived ideas (aka "prejudices") put a damper on willingness?
But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see?
[4a]2p When our problem beats us into a state of reasonableness12, it convinces us of what?
I know I must get along without liquor,
[4b] Once we’re convinced our dependency must stop, what naturally is our next question?
but how can I?
[5] OK, Twelve Steps, but have you got anything to replace this dependency today, right now?
Have you a sufficient substitute?"
[1] Do we have something to replace self-seeking as a way to face care, boredom, and worry13?
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that.
[2] What is the substitute for for the spiritual malady: selfishness-self-centeredness14?
It is a fellowship* in Alcoholics Anonymous.
* Webster’s 1937 "fellowship": Being a fellow or associate in a company of equals or friends.
[3] What do we find in fellowship with others who escaped this seemingly hopeless condition15?
There you will find release from care, boredom and worry.
[4] What happens as we lose interest in ourselves and become interested in our fellows16?
Your imagination will be fired.
[5] What will happen to our whole attitude and outlook on life17?
Life will mean something at last.
[6] Once we discover we can face life successfully18, what do we realize about the future?
The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
[7] Have we found a substitute for our seemingly hopeless destructive dependencies?
Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you.
[1-2]+2 Where will we find this substitute, this fellowship of recovered people?
"How is that to come about?" you ask.
"Where am I to find these people?"
[1a]2p What does the book call people to whom we carry the message19,20,21?
You are going to meet these new friends
[1b] Where does the book say we will find these new friends whom we seek to help?
in your own community.
[2] At present, what are these people doing instead of enjoying life?
Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship.
[3] Where we live, how many people may be in this seemingly hopeless state?
If you live in a large place, there are hundreds.
[4] Are we only talking people who reside in jails, hospitals, or who live on the street?
High and low, rich and poor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous.
[5] People of all walks of life will become what?
Among them you will make lifelong friends.
[6a]2p What holds truly lasting friendships together?
You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties,
[6b] What is but "one element in the powerful cement which binds us22"?
for you will escape disaster together
[6c] What does "the common solution" do which joins us in "brotherly and harmonious action23"?
and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey.
[7] What lies before us in our respective homes, occupations, and activities24?
Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life.
[8] What does this mean, "Our very lives as [people who have recovered] depends on our constant thought of others and how we may meet their needs"25
You will learn the full meaning of "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
[1] Does it seem possible that there may be hundreds of people around us who can recover?
It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more.
[2] What do we think of people who seem to be so unreachable, so beyond our help?
How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness?
[3] What can just one person do who is new and uncertain?
The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen with you.
[4a]3p What sets such miracles in motion?
Should you wish them above all else,
[4b] How may we approach these people around us and what do we say to them?
and be willing to make use of our experience,
[4c] What did the authors think these people would do if we were willing to approach them?
we are sure they will come.
[5] What reminds us we are not alone and that we are still in what day and age?
The age of miracles is still with us.
[6] How do we know the age of miracles is still with us?
Our own recovery proves that!
[1] What do we hope people who have been beaten by such problems will do with this book?
Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions.
[2] The authors were confident that this book by itself could do what for desperate people?
Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march on.
[3a]3p We hope newly recovered persons will in turn do what?
They will approach still other sick ones
[3b] What can happen when people who find this spiritual solution26 begin to work with others?
and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet,
[3c] What does this Fellowship of ex-hopeless persons become for still others?
havens for those who must find a way out.
[1] What valuable guidance do the authors give us in the chapter titled "Working With Others"?
In the chapter "Working With Others" you gathered an idea of how we approach and aid others to health.
[2] What can happen if we use that approach and go looking for others to help?
Suppose now that through you several families have adopted this way of life.
[3] And now what are all of us wondering?
You will want to know more of how to proceed from that point.
[4] Always teaching by sharing experience, what would the authors now like to show us?
Perhaps the best way of treating you to a glimpse of your future will be to describe the growth of the fellowship among us.
* Note to study leader: As an option, read the next sentence with the next paragraph.
[5] How did the fellowship get started?
Here is a brief account:
[1a]2p How did literally all modern-day 12-Step programs begin?
Years ago, in 1935,
[1b] Who did what?
one of our number made a journey to a certain western city.
[2] What happened to Bill Wilson’s high hopes of solving all his financial problems in a proxy fight with National Rubber Machine Co. which took place in Akron, Ohio in May, 1935?
From a business standpoint, his trip came off badly.
[3] What might have spelled doom for millions of us alcoholics, addicts27, and others worldwide?
Had he been successful in his enterprise, he would have been set on his feet financially which, at the time, seemed vitally important.
[4] What changed history for this "endless procession of sots plunging into darkness"28?
But his venture wound up in a law suit and bogged down completely.
[5] Bill thought he had worked himself right into the middle of what?
The proceeding was shot through with much hard feeling and controversy.
[1] How did this "bright hope gone bust" affect Bill who had been sober only about 6 months?
Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke.
[2a]3p How had his past heavy drinking, now living out of a suitcase and eating hotel food affect Bill?
Still physically weak,
[2b] After 18 plus years of heavy drinking, how long had Bill been sober at this point?
and sober but a few months,
[2c] With only six months sober, how did Bill view his present circumstances?
he saw that his predicament was dangerous.
[3] Without his usual option of going to Townes hospital to visit drunks29, what did he badly wish?
He wanted so much to talk with someone, but whom?
[1a]2p Agitated and doubtful, what was Bill doing on Saturday, the day before Mother’s Day, 1935?
One dismal afternoon he paced a hotel lobby
[1b] Having just seen the utter collapse of his business hopes, what was he now nervous about?
wondering how his bill was to be paid.
[2-3]+2 Was Bill literally standing at a "Turning Point"30?
At one end of the room stood a glass covered directory of local churches.
Down the lobby a door opened into an attractive bar.
[4] What lit Bill’s eyes when he looked down the lobby through the door of the attractive bar?
He could see the gay* crowd inside.
* Webster's 1937 "gay": Excited with merriment, merry, lively.
[5] What thought came to mind when he gazed down the lobby at the happy crowd there?
In there he would find companionship and release.
[6a]2p What had alcohol always done for him when he felt awkward or shy around people?
Unless he took some drinks, he might not have the courage to scrape an acquaintance
[6b] With self-reliance failing him31, what did he fear if he didn’t find someone to talk to?
and would have a lonely week-end.
[1] What argument did his brain make to assure him that sitting in a hotel barroom to avoid a lonely weekend would be perfectly OK this time32?
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a table, a bottle of ginger ale before him?
[2] What sorts of calculations did his brain make in the midst of this insanity?
After all, had he not been sober six months now?
[3] When his insanity did the math, what sort of calculations did his brain make?
Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more!
[4] But when tempted33, what really gripped him then?
Fear gripped him.
[5] Where did he realize his crazy thinking had taken him all of a sudden?
He was on thin ice.
[6] But, what did his Higher Power clearly show him was really going on at that moment?
Again it was the old, insidious insanity—that first drink.
[7] In our little motto, "Think Think Think", what is the third "think" all about?
With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory.
[8] What called to him, "Come back, come back…" as he turned to go do God’s bidding?
Music and gay* chatter still floated to him from the bar.
* Webster's 1937 "gay": Excited with merriment, merry, lively.
[1a]2p To what were his thoughts directed after this brief moment of insanity?
But what about his responsibilities—his family
[1b] To whom did he think he had a unique responsibility?
and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics?
[2] Once his sanity returned, what kind of calculation did his brain make?
There must be many such in this town.
[3] What plan of action to solve his loneliness now occurred to him seemingly out of nowhere?
He would phone a clergyman.
[4a]2p So, what had happened almost automatically34, with seemingly no thought or effort35?
His sanity returned
[4b] Whom did he immediately thank for restoring his sanity36?
and he thanked God.
[5] Once his mind resolutely turned to help others, what was his "next right thought or action"37?
Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.
[1a]2p Did the clergyman know someone who knew someone who identified a candidate for Bill?
His call to the clergyman led him presently to a certain resident of the town,
[1b] Why did one of the clergyman’s flock think this fellow would be good prospect for Bill?
who, though formerly able and respected, was then nearing the nadir of alcoholic despair.
[2] What sort of trouble did people know this fellow was having?
It was the usual situation: home in jeopardy, wife ill, children distracted, bills in arrears and standing damaged.
[3a]2p What is still one of the two important predictors of success in this 12 Step program?
He had a desperate desire to stop,
[3b] What is the other predictor, the sense of powerlessness of which Dr. Bob was convinced?
but saw no way out, for he had earnestly tried many avenues of escape.
[4a]2p Had Dr. Bob come to believe there was something seriously wrong with him?
Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal,
[4b] What kept Dr. Bob trying many recovery methods which did not work?
the man did not fully realize what it meant to be alcoholic.*
* This refers to Bill’s first visit with Dr. Bob. These men later became co-founders of A.A. Bill's story opens the text of this book; Dr. Bob's heads the Story Section.
[5a] (Footnote question:)
The story in these paragraphs refers to what significant event?
* This refers to Bill’s first visit with Dr. Bob.
[5b] (Footnote question:)
Who were Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith?
These men later became co-founders of A.A.
[5c] (Footnote question:)
Why aren't Bill and Bob's stories part of the Personal Stories section?
Bill's story opens the text of this book; Dr. Bob's heads the Story Section.
[1a]2p How did Bill carry the message of God’s power in his recovery from hopelessness38,39,40?
When our friend related his experience,
[1b] What was the first of three things which Bill’s own experience convinced Dr. Bob?
the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long.
[2a]2p What was the second thing out of Bill’s experience with which Dr. Bob agreed?
A spiritual experience, he conceded, was absolutely necessary,
[2b] What did Dr. Bob think of the third thing Bill talked about, the program of action?
but the price seemed high upon the basis suggested.
[3] But, why did one step, the amends step, seem especially problematic to Dr. Bob?
He told how he lived in constant worry about those who might find out about his alcoholism.
[4] Was Dr. Bob aware many already knew his big secret?
He had, of course, the familiar alcoholic obsession that few knew of his drinking.
[5a]2p Did Dr. Bob at this point still have trouble believing God could solve his problems?
Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business,
[5b] What did fearful thinking tell Dr. Bob would happen if admitted his problem to people?
only to bring still more suffering to his family
[5c] To what length was Dr. Bob unwilling to go for a spiritual experience?
by foolishly admitting his plight to people from whom he made his livelihood?
[6] What did Dr. Bob SAY he was willing to do (except for being honest with people)?
He would do anything, he said, but that.
[1] Because Bill’s talk was "sane, quiet, and full of human understanding"41 what did Dr. Bob do?
Being intrigued, however, he invited our friend to his home.
[2] What happened because Dr. Bob had not yet completed Steps 1 and Step 2?
Some time later, and just as he thought he was getting control of his liquor situation, he went on a roaring bender.
[3] What finally convinced Dr. Bob that he had to "let go absolutely"42, "with no reservation"43?
For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees.
[4a]2p Since "Faith without works is dead"44 means taking all the Steps (including 8 & 9), what became crystal clear to Dr. Bob?
He saw that he would have to face his problems squarely
[4b] Going "to any lengths for victory"45 meant making amends… that what might happen?
that God might give him mastery.
[1] Once Dr. Bob saw he must admit the truth about himself and his mistakes46, what did he do?
One morning he took the bull by the horns and set out to tell those he feared what his trouble had been.
[2a]2p How did his patients and other people whom he may have harmed react?
He found himself surprisingly well received,
[2b] About what did Dr. Bob finally discover he had been fooling only himself?
and learned that many knew of his drinking.
[3] Once Dr. Bob made his list of "all persons [he] had harmed"47, what did he do with it?
Stepping into his car, he made the rounds of people he had hurt.
[4] Chapter Five tells us "All men of courage have faith."48 How did Dr. Bob show faith?
He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business.
[1a]3p Having left his home in the morning to set right his past mistakes, when did he return?
At midnight
[1b] How much energy did he exert in this effort to "repair the damage of the past"49?
he came home exhausted,
[1c] What did Dr. Bob’s trust in "the infinite God50" rather than himself do to his prior fear?
but very happy.
[2] What seems to have been the permanent effect of the "new attitude and new relationship with his Creator"51 which this first and other "work and self-sacrifice for others"52 gave him?
He has not had a drink since.
[3] What "things came to [Dr. Bob] when [he] put himself into God’s hands"53?
As we shall see, he now means a great deal to his community, and the major liabilities of thirty years of hard drinking have been repaired in four.
[1] Though happy to be alive, was life free of trouble for these two new survivors?
But life was not easy for the two friends.
[2] Tattered businesses and failed fortunes left the two friends facing what?
Plenty of difficulties presented themselves.
[3] What did they realize was their job54 to do while their Maker "removed their difficulties"55?
Both saw that they must keep spiritually active.
[4] What happened when they asked God, "How can I best serve Thee—Thy will be done."56
One day they called up the head nurse of a local hospital.
[5a]2p How did they explain the purpose of their call to the head nurse?
They explained their need
[5b] They needed to carry God’s message57,58 and how did they hope she could help them?
and inquired if she had a first class alcoholic prospect.
[1] What work did their "new Employer"59 provide them60 to help them stay spiritually fit61?
She replied, "Yes, we’ve got a corker.
[2-5]+4 What symptoms led the nurse to believe that this fellow was a "first class prospect"?
He’s just beaten up a couple of nurses.
Goes off his head completely when he’s drinking.
But he’s a grand chap when he’s sober, though he’s been in here eight times in the last six months.
Understand he was once a well-known lawyer in town, but just now we’ve got him strapped down tight."*
* This refers to Bill’s and Dr. Bob’s first visit to A.A. Number Three.
[6] (Footnote question:)
What is noteworthy about Bill Dodson, the "corker" whom the nurse recommended?
* This refers to Bill’s and Dr. Bob’s first visit to A.A. Number Three.
[1] Did the "man in the bed" sound very much like someone ready for a spiritual program?
Here was a prospect all right but, by the description, none too promising.
[2] At the time of their visit, what was the notion that "no human power could have relieved our (seemingly hopeless condition), but God could and would if He were sought."62?
The use of spiritual principles in such cases was not so well understood as it is now.
[3-4]+2 What did Dr. Bob suggest which later became this instruction in the chapter "Working With Others", "See your man alone, if possible."63?
But one of the friends said, "Put him in a private room.
We’ll be down.
[1a]3p Did the two friends rush right over to see this "none to promising prospect"?
Two days later,
[1b] Could the two friends have imagined this fellow would become a co-worker?
a future fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous
[1c] He hadn’t sounded too promising when the nurse described him, but how did he look now?
stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed.
[2-3]+2 So, was anybody expecting a miracle? What did the chap in the bed want to know?
"Who are you fellows, and why this private room?
I was always in a ward before."
[1] What might have been the last thing our bed-ridden friend expected?
Said one of the visitors, "We’re giving you a treatment for alcoholism."
[1a]3p What did the man in the bed have going for him though he didn’t know it?
Hopelessness
[1b] Where did his hopelessness show?
was written large on the man’s face
[1c] Had someone perhaps already offered him some kind of treatment that didn’t work?
as he replied, "Oh, but that’s no use.
[2] What did he think were his chances for recovery?
Nothing would fix me.
[3] Did he, like Bill, see himself joined to "that endless procession of sots"64 that had gone before?
I’m a goner.
[4] Was Bill D a "Type Four" alcoholic per the chapter "To Wives"? (see page 110)
The last three times, I got drunk on the way home from here.
[5-6]+2 Had Bill D just awakened from oblivion only to face now "the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, and Despair"65?
I’m afraid to go out the door.
I can’t understand it."
[1] What was their first focus with Bill D and how much time did they concentrate on it?
For an hour, the two friends told him about their drinking experiences.
[2-4]+3 Did our fellow in the bed hear anything that caught his attention?
Over and over, he would say: "That’s me.
That’s me.
I drink like that."
[1] Following instructions later written in "Working With Others"zz, what was their second focus?
The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind.
[2] Finally, what was their third focus, the real problem of the such an hopeless case66?
There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink.
[1] What effect did Bill and Dr. Bob have on the man in the bed when they told their stories?
"Yes, that’s me," said the sick man, "the very image.
[2] The man could see that the two friends knew their subject, but still he couldn’t see what?
You fellows know your stuff all right, but I don’t see what good it’ll do.
[3] What did Bill D at first think was the reason the two friends were restored to sanity?
You fellows are somebody.
[4-5]+2 Since recovery seemed to depend on a person’s stature, what did he think he knew?
I was once, but I’m a nobody now.
From what you tell me, I know more than ever I can’t stop."
[6] How did this strike the two friends who knew for a fact that they themselves were nobodies?
At this both the visitors burst into a laugh.
[7] Had the man in the bed still not yet realized where the power for recovery comes from?
Said the future Fellow Anonymous: "Damn little to laugh about that I can see."
[1a]2p What was the Third thing the two friends talked about, i.e., where the power comes from67?
The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience
[1b] Was the Fourth thing, i.e., how they secured and now maintain their fit spiritual condition68?
and told him about the course of action they carried out.
[1] Did Bill D at first seem to equate "spiritual experience" with "religious experience"?
He interrupted: "I used to be strong for the church, but that won’t fix it.
[2a]3p What was step one in Bill D’s "I-can-manage-this-myself" "two-step" program?
I’ve prayed to God on hangover mornings
[2b] And what was Step Two?
and sworn that I’d never touch another drop
[2c] How well did this two-step program for recovery work?
but by nine o’clock I’d be boiled as an owl."
[1a]2p After sharing their hopelessness and spiritual experiences, after outlining the program, then giving Bill D time to consider things, how long before Bill and Bob came for another visit?
Next day
[1b] So yesterday, Bill D had thought none of this was going to work in his case and all this talk was no use…but what was his attitude when the two friends returned?
found the prospect more receptive.
[2] What did Bill and Bob let him do by not wearing out their welcome on the first visit69?
He had been thinking it over.
[3-4]+2 Faced with the proposition that "God either is or else He isn’t" what did Bill choose?
"Maybe you’re right," he said.
"God ought to be able to do anything."
[5] How much help did Bill D believe God had ever helped him when his attitude was that God was gone or busy or didn’t care or couldn’t really do anything anyway?
Then he added, "He sure didn’t do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone."
[1a]2p After taking Step 1, that he couldn’t beat the booze racket alone, and Step 2, where he changed his attitude from "That won’t work" to "God can do anything", what was Bill’s Step 3?
On the third day the lawyer gave his life to the care and direction of his Creator,
[1b] Though he hadn’t begun the rest of the Steps—what was all that was required that first day?
and said he was perfectly willing to do anything necessary.
[2a]2p How had ten or twenty years of drinking70 affected his wife’s outlook on his recovery?
His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful,
[2b] But, when she saw him, what did she think she noticed?
though she thought she saw something different about her husband already.
[3] Bill D. made a beginning71; what was it?
He had begun to have a spiritual experience.
[1] Having made God his Director, Bill D passed through "the new and triumphant arch"72 to what?
That afternoon he put on his clothes and walked from the hospital a free man.
[2-3]+2 Having had a spiritual awakening, where did Bill D immediately begin to carry the message of God’s Power, Love, and Way of Life73?
He entered a political campaign, making speeches, frequenting men’s gathering places of all sorts, often staying up all night.
He lost the race by only a narrow margin.
[4] Here was a man who thought he was "a goner"—what had changed?
But he had found God—and in finding God had found himself.
[1] On the 30th of what month and year did Bill D walk out of Akron City Hospital a free man?
That was in June, 1935.
[2] How long did he stay sober this time?
He never drank again.
[3] What became of this fellow who once thought himself a "hopeless goner", a "nobody"?
He too, has become a respected and useful member of his community.
[4] What might Bill D have said was his greatest accomplishment, greater than any public office?
He has helped other men recover and is a power in the church from which he was long absent.
[1a]2p How had the fellowship grown in the seven months following Bill W’s thought that "there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what he had been given"74?
So, you see, there were three alcoholics in that town,
[1b] What was the "foundation stone"75 of this small yet vital spiritual society of sober people?
who now felt they had to give to others what they had found, or be sunk.
[2a]2p Were they always successful at finding others who wanted to recover?
After several failures to find others,
[2b] But they kept at it and what eventually happened?
a fourth turned up.
[3] How had this fourth fellow first heard the amazing stories these first three were telling?
He came through an acquaintance who had heard the good news.
[4a]2p Did Bill, Dr. Bob, and Bill D seem to have much in common with the fellowship Number Four?
He proved to be a devil-may-care young fellow
[4b] From his outward appearance and behavior, did this younger man appear to want to quit?
whose parents could not make out whether he wanted to stop drinking or not.
[5a]3p What kind of people were his parents?
They were deeply religious people,
[5b] How were the parents affected when their son refused the solution they thought best76?
much shocked
[5c] What was the solution the parents thought would surely work for their suffering son?
by their son’s refusal to have anything to do with the church.
[6a]2p What had the illness done so far to this young man?
He suffered horribly from his sprees,
[6b] Did everyone around the fellow seem to be out of ideas?
but it seemed as if nothing could be done for him.
[7a]2p But, what did someone who had heard the good news convince the young fellow to do?
He consented, however, to go to the hospital,
[7b] Whether by chance or by choice, what room did the hospital put him in?
where he occupied the very room recently vacated by the lawyer.
[1] Did the entire fellowship go to see this young fellow?
He had three visitors.
[2] Meetings? Get a sponsor? Do an inventory? What did they discuss with the young chap?
After a bit, he said, "The way you fellows put this spiritual stuff makes sense.
[3] His visitors’ effort to make sense of "this spiritual stuff" led the young man to decide what?
I’m ready to do business.
[4] What surprised him once he chose to believe "this stuff" in terms that made sense77 to him?
I guess the old folks were right after all."
[5] And just like that, what made the fellowship grow by a massive 33%?
So one more was added to the Fellowship.
[1] Following his phone call to the clergyman, what did Bill W do as one thing led to another?
All this time our friend of the hotel lobby incident remained in that town.
[2] How long did Bill stay with Dr. Bob & Anne during which time the Fellowship doubled (from two to four)?
He was there three months.
[3] When Bill W went back home to New York, what fellowship did he leave behind?
He now returned home, leaving behind his first acquaintance, the lawyer and the devil-may-care chap.
[4] What had these men found in their new spiritual way of life78?
These men had found something brand new in life.
[5a]2p What did they know about needing "unselfish, constructive action"79 to keep faith alive80?
Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober,
[5b] But, was that their primary motive, their primary motive for helping others?
that motive became secondary.
[6] What was their primary motive for tireless "work and self-sacrifice for others"81?
It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others.
[7a]3p Does the joy of helping others include sharing our personal space?
They shared their homes,
[7b] Does the happiness that comes from helping others involve sharing our savings?
their slender resources,
[7c] Does the joy of helping others come from giving up our personal time?
and gladly devoted their spare hours to fellow-sufferers.
[8a]2p What was that requirement for the spiritual way of life82 that powered their actions?
They were willing,
[8b] To what lengths were they willing to go for someone also willing to go to any length?
by day or night, to place a new man in the hospital and visit him afterward.
[9] What happened as a direct result of their willingness?
They grew in numbers.
[10a]3p Were they successful with every person they tried to help?
They experienced a few distressing failures,
[10b] When someone didn’t respond at once, then to whom did they carry the spiritual message?
but in those cases they made an effort to bring the man's family into a spiritual way of living,
[10c] What good did it do to carry the spiritual message to those around the person?
thus relieving much worry and suffering.
[1] How well did this first AA group work together to carry this message83,84,85 to other prospects?
A year and six months later these three had succeeded with seven more.
[2a]2p What suggests they were working as a group rather than as separate individuals?
Seeing much of each other,
[2b] How often did they get together and what did they talk about in these informal meetings?
scarce an evening passed that someone’s home did not shelter a little gathering of men and women, happy in their release,
[2c] What was their focus in these meetings…what did they want to learn how to do better?
and constantly thinking how they might present their discovery to some newcomer.
[3a]2p They also had a more formal meeting—how often did it meet?
In addition to these casual get-togethers, it became customary to set apart one night a week for a meeting
[3b] Did they restrict this more formal meeting to people whose symptoms were like their own?
to be attended by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life.
[4a]2p This meeting seems to have had two purposes; what was the first?
Aside from fellowship and sociability,
[4b] What was the primary purpose of this meeting?
the prime object was to provide a time and place where new people might bring their problems.
[1] What happened as problems resolved, afflicted persons sobered, and families reunited86?
Outsiders became interested.
[2-3]+2 What did one outside couple do who were amazed by what they saw?
One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd.
This couple has since become so fascinated that they have dedicated their home to the work.
[4a]2p Who sometimes attended when their still sick family member wouldn’t come?
Many a distracted wife has visited this house
[4b] What did wives of afflicted persons find in this wonderful and unique home?
to find loving and understanding companionship among women who knew her problem,
[4c] And other recovered people shared what with the wives whose husbands still suffered?
to hear from the lips of their husbands what had happened to them,
[4d] What hope filled advice was given to many distracted wives?
to be advised how her own wayward mate might be hospitalized and approached when next he stumbled.
[1] Who else found spiritual solutions to their problems at these weekly meetings?
Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom.
[2] The "seemingly hopeless" who attended their first meeting often found what by the end?
Many an alcoholic who entered there came away with an answer.
[3] What led a hopeless person to want this "spiritual answer and program of action"87?
He succumbed to that gay* crowd inside, who laughed at their own misfortunes and understood his.
* Webster's 1937 "gay": Excited with merriment, merry, lively.
[4a]4p How had the members of the more casual, more frequent meetings helped the new fellow?
Impressed by those who visited him at the hospital,
[4b] Perhaps hesitant when he entered, what did he do when he began to hear real solutions?
he capitulated entirely
[4c] When and where did they take him when they saw he seemed ready "to do business"88?
when, later, in an upper room of this house,
[4d] What led such a newcomer to "make up [his] mind to go through with the process"89?
he heard the story of some man whose experience closely tallied with his own.
[5a]2p What did newcomers see on the faces and feel in the atmosphere in that home?
The expression on the faces of the women, that indefinable something in the eyes of the men, the stimulating and electric atmosphere of the place,
[5b] What did a visitor believe he had found?
conspired to let him know that here was haven at last.
[1] What prompted people to want to "keep coming back"?
The very practical approach to his problems, the absence of intolerance of any kind, the informality, the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding which these people had were irresistible.
[2] Then what did these people who found real solutions want do for others they knew?
He and his wife would leave elated by the thought of what they could now do for some stricken acquaintance and his family.
[3a]2p Like survivors of a shipwreck moments after rescue90, they knew they had found what?
They knew they had a host of new friends;
[3b] Having survived a common peril, how did these friends feel about each other?
it seemed they had known these strangers always.
[4a]2p In this weekly meeting, what did people see among those who brought their problems?
They had seen miracles,
[4b] What did they begin to believe about miracles in their own lives?
and one was to come to them.
[5] Who and What did they see was Real with their own eyes?
They had visioned the Great Reality—their loving and All Powerful Creator.
[1] Three years later, as the Book was published, how many attended this meeting?
Now, this house will hardly accommodate its weekly visitors, for they number sixty or eighty as a rule.
[2] Miracles, the Great Reality, Haven at Last—what happens as this good news spreads?
Alcoholics are being attracted from far and near.
[3] What did the people who heard these things become willing to do?
From surrounding towns, families drive long distances to be present.
[4] Cleveland Ohio is about 30 miles north of Akron—how many of the fellowship lived there?
A community thirty miles away has fifteen fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous.
[5] What did the authors think would happen with these fifteen AAs from Cleveland?
Being a large place, we think that some day its Fellowship will number many hundreds.*
* Written in 1939.
[6] (Footnote question:)
When did Cleveland A.A. have only fifteen members?
* Written in 1939.
[1] Can there be more to life on the Broad Highway than attending weekly meetings?
But life among Alcoholics Anonymous is more than attending gatherings and visiting hospitals.
[2] What was the "foundation stone"91 of the group’s recovery efforts?
Cleaning up old scrapes, helping to settle family differences, explaining the disinherited son to his irate parents, lending money and securing jobs for each other, when justified—these are everyday occurrences.
[3a]2p Who was welcome in the fellowship then and now?
No one is too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed cordially—
[3b] What is meant by the 3rd Tradition’s qualification "a desire to stop [the insanity]"92,93,94,95,96?
if he means business.
Social distinctions, petty rivalries and jealousies—these are laughed out of countenance.
[5a]3p What is "one element in the powerful cement which binds us"99?
Being wrecked in the same vessel,
[5b] But, what is the "common solution" that really unifies us100?
being restored and united under one God, with hearts and minds attuned to the welfare of others,
[5c] So, why do social distinctions, petty rivalries and jealousies make us laugh so much?
the things which matter so much to some people no longer signify much to them.
[6] Why do these things no longer matter so much?
How could they?
[1] What was happening back in New York and New Jersey where Bill lived?
Under only slightly different conditions, the same thing is taking place in many eastern cities.
[2] What was "Townes Hospital" in 1933?
In one of these there is a well-known hospital for the treatment of alcoholic and drug addiction.
[3] Bill’s alcoholism was so desperate in 1934101, that his brother-in-law helped him do what102?
Six years ago one of our number was a patient there.
[4] Eventually, what did Bill and many others of the Eastern group find in that hospital?
Many of us have felt, for the first time, the Presence and Power of God within its walls.
[5a]2p Who was Dr. William D Silkworth103?
We are greatly indebted to the doctor in attendance there,
[5b] How did Dr. Silkworth show support for the fellowship in a letter printed in "The Doctor’s Opinion"104?
for he, although it might prejudice his own work, has told us of his belief in ours.
[1] Because they sought to be helpful to Dr Silkworth, where did they find many new prospects?
Every few days this doctor suggests our approach to one of his patients.
[2a]2p What made the doctor willing to send prospects to this brand-new recovery program?
Understanding our work,
[2b] The doctor sent prospects based on what condition which he considered to be essential?
he can do this with an eye to selecting those who are willing and able to recover on a spiritual basis.
[3] What did many in that group do to keep this source of prospects open and flowing?
Many of us, former patients, go there to help.
[4a]2p What kind of meetings did the group in New York have?
Then, in this eastern city, there are informal meetings such as we have described to you,
[4b] How many members attended the informal meetings in New York in 1939?
where you may now see scores of members.
[5] What did the two groups, the one in Akron and the one in New York, have in common?
There are the same fast friendships, there is the same helpfulness to one another as you find among our western friends.
[6a]2p Did the two groups stay in touch during this period (during which this book was written)?
There is a good bit of travel between East and West
[6b] What did they think would happen between the two groups as time passed?
and we foresee a great increase in this helpful interchange.
[1] Having found haven105 in 1939 in the Fellowship of AA, what did the first 100 hope?
Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination.
[2] What made them think this could happen?
To some extent this is already true.
[3] Who was doing the leg work?
Some of us are salesmen and go about.
[4a]2p Per Tradition Three, how many recovered alcoholics did it take to form a new group?
Little clusters of twos and threes and fives of us have sprung up in other communities,
[4b] Who did new group members contact to find out more about building up their groups?
through contact with our two larger centers.
[5] What did some members of the older groups like to do?
Those of us who travel drop in as often as we can.
[6] What did those who traveled do when they visited these little groups?
This practice enables us to lend a hand, at the same time avoiding certain alluring distractions of the road, about which any traveling man can inform you.*
* Written in 1939.
[7] * Footnote [1] When did these writers express this hope and how many groups are there now?
* Written in 1939.
Note: With the 8th printing of the 2nd edition in 1966, there were 350,000 members in 12,000 groups in 90 countries. Numbers vary in earlier and later editions and printings.)
[1] Helping physicians in hospitals and inviting all to weekly meetings led to what?
Thus we grow.
[2a]2p Based on their experience, what were the first 100 confident could happen?
And so can you,
[2b] How many people does it take to help start a new group?
though you be but one man with this book in your hand.
[3] What did the writers of the book believe the book contains?
We believe and hope it contains all you will need to begin.
[1] How well did the first 100 think they knew us?
We know what you are thinking.
[2-3]+2 What did they predict we would be thinking here in the twenty-first century?
You are saying to yourself: "I’m jittery and alone.
I couldn’t do that."
[4] From the distant past, what do they yet say to us about such thoughts?
But you can.
[5] What do we tend to forget no matter how long we’ve been in the program?
You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself.
[6a]2p The first 100 issue a challenge to rely on that power and do what?
To duplicate, with such backing, what we have accomplished
[6b] Besides the book and God’s help, what else would we need?
is only a matter of willingness, patience and labor.
[1] Did the authors know of someone who duplicated the feats of those two early groups?
We know of an A.A. member who was living in a large community.
[2a]2p Had this newly sober person lived there very long?
He had lived there but a few weeks
[2b] What did he think he had discovered in the new community where he settled?
when he found that the place probably contained more alcoholics per square mile than any city in the country.
[3] What makes this story so real and so timely?
This was only a few days ago at this writing (1939).
[4] Who apparently had expressed public concern about the city’s widespread illness?
The authorities were much concerned.
[5] What did this fellow do when he heard these concerns?
He got in touch with a prominent psychiatrist who had undertaken certain responsibilities for the mental health of the community.
[6] What happened when our friend went to the psychiatrist and suggested he could help?
The doctor proved to be able and exceedingly anxious to adopt any workable method of handling the situation.
[7] Was the psychiatrist interested to know what our friend could do to help?
So he inquired, what did our friend have on the ball?
[1] Was our friend timid about his past, his spiritual awakening, or the program of recovery?
Our friend proceeded to tell him.
[2] What did the doctor do when he saw that the man was equipped to help others re-gain sanity?
And with such good effect that the doctor agreed to a test among his patients and certain other alcoholics from a clinic which he attends.
[3] The psychiatrist was so enthusiastic about the fellow’s ability to help, what else did he do?
Arrangements were also made with the chief psychiatrist of a large public hospital to select still others from the stream of misery which flows through that institution.
[1] Because our friend sought to help professionals like these, what will happen?
So our fellow worker will soon have friends galore.
[2a]2p Will he succeed with all of them?
Some of them may sink and perhaps never get up,
[2b] But to some of them what will happen?
but if our experience is a criterion, more than half of those approached will become fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous.
[3a]3p Remembering when Bill D found God, that he found himself106 what else will happen?
When a few men in this city have found themselves,
[3b] Though we know to stay sober we must help other sufferers, what is our primary motive107?
and have discovered the joy of helping others to face life again,
[3c] How might the success of such outreach in any community be measured?
there will be no stopping until everyone in that town has had his opportunity to recover—if he can and will.
[1] Do some of us think we’re not equipped to help others as the first 100 were equipped?
Still you may say: "But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book."
[2] Even in those days, could readers of the book count on meeting the authors?
We cannot be sure.
[3a]2p Who decides who meets whom on earth?
God will determine that,
[3b] So who DO we need to get to know if we want to help others effectively?
so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him.
[4] What is the answer to the question, "How will [the Fellowship] come about?" (see p.152)108
He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.*
* Alcoholics Anonymous will be glad to hear from you. Address P.O. Box 459, Grand Central Station, New York, NY 10163.
[5a] (Footnote question:)
Where might we find help we need to build a Fellowship around us?
* Alcoholics Anonymous will be glad to hear from you.
[5b] (Footnote question:)
How may we reach A.A.?
Address P.O. Box 459, Grand Central Station, New York, NY 10163.
* Note: the Alcoholics Anonymous modern day website may be found here.
[1] How did the authors want readers to view the clear-cut directions in this book?
Our book is meant to be suggestive only.
[2] Why are the authors anxious to say their path is a "suggested" path?
We realize we know only a little.
[3] What are the authors sure will happen in the years and decades following this work?
God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.
[4a]4p What do they say is the best way to find out what our New Employer has in mind for us?
Ask Him
[4b] When might be the best time to ask Him for such guidance and direction each day?
in your morning meditation
[4c] More specifically, to be of service, what do we want to know109?
what you can do each day
[4d] Who in particular do we want to know what we can do to help?
for the man who is still sick.
[5] How can we be sure we will get specific answers to this and similar prayers?
The answers will come, if your own house is in order.
[6] Should we be advising others how to solve their problems before we’ve put all own problems into God’s hands110,111?
But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got.
[7a]2p Thoroughly following the path of the first 100 through Steps 1-11 will help us do what?
See to it that your relationship with Him is right,
[7b] What will happen if we are sure of a right relationship with Him, our Maker112?
and great events will come to pass for you and countless others.
[8] How real is this new relationship with our Creator113 and all the great events that come with it?
This is the Great Fact for us.
[1] What is the summary version of the "spiritual program of action" described in this book?
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.
[2] What do we do when selfishness, resentment, dishonesty, fear, jealousy, or the like crop up114?
Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows.
[3] What do we do once we can admit the harms we know we’ve done115 to others?
Clear away the wreckage of your past.
[4a]2p What does it take to maintain our "fit spiritual condition"116?
Give freely of what you find and
[4b] Where can we find others who make the effort to stay close to God and do His work117?
join us.
[5] Therefore, might we not in some way after all meet those who write this book118?
We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
[1] What is our prayer for our Fellow 171.2 until we meet them?
May God bless you and keep you—until then.
[1] Who was Dr. Robert Holbrook Smith?
A co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.
[2] Why is Dr. Bob considered to be a co-founder of the fellowship?
The birth of our Society dates from his first day of permanent sobriety, June 10, 1935.
A co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. The birth of our Society dates from his first day of permanent sobriety, June 10, 1935.
[1a]2p What did later editors of the Big Book claim about Dr. Bob’s work?
To 1950, the year of his death, he carried the A.A. message to more than 5,000 alcoholic men and women,
[1b] Selfish1 in his youth, how did Dr. Bob become a model of unselfishness in recovery?
and to all these he gave his medical services without thought of charge.
To 1950, the year of his death, he carried the A.A. message to more than 5,000 alcoholic men and women, and to all these he gave his medical services without thought of charge.
[1] Who is credited with helping Dr. Bob reach these people?
In this prodigy of service, he was well assisted by Sister Ignatia at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron, Ohio, one of the greatest friends our Fellowship will ever know.
In this prodigy of service, he was well assisted by Sister Ignatia at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron, Ohio, one of the greatest friends our Fellowship will ever know.
[1] What happened in St. Johnsbury, VT on August 8, 1879?
I was born in a small New England village of about seven thousand souls.
[2] Was the malady Dr. Bob suffered a common problem where Dr. Bob grew up?
The general moral standard was, as I recall it, far above the average.
[3a]2p Were there many places where people could go pursue their habits in that little town?
No beer or liquor was sold in the neighborhood,
[3b] How did the government try to control the malady?
except at the State liquor agency where perhaps one might procure a pint if he could convince the agent that he really needed it.
[4a]2p What happened when people tried to con the government to mitigate their habit?
Without this proof the expectant purchaser would be forced to depart empty handed
[4b] What else did Dr. Bob think this external substance was good for?
with none of what I later came to believe was the great panacea for all human ills.
[5a]2p How did people who could afford it solve their problem?
Men who had liquor shipped in from Boston or New York by express
[5b] What did such efforts do to their reputations in that little town?
were looked upon with great distrust and disfavor by most of the good townspeople.
[6] How did other town leaders foster high moral character among their fellow citizens?
The town was well supplied with churches and schools in which I pursued my early educational activities.
[1] What sort of people were Dr. Bob’s parents?
My father was a professional man of recognized ability and both my father and mother were most active in church affairs.
[2] Did Dr. Bob seem proud of his parents?
Both father and mother were considerably above the average in intelligence.
[1a]2p Did Dr. Bob think someone else (maybe his parents) was responsible for his illness?
Unfortunately for me, I was the only child,
[1b] What did he think would not have happened if ONLY he had had brothers or sisters?
which perhaps engendered the selfishness which played such an important part in bringing on my alcoholism.
[1] Was he yet a bit unhappy with his parents for their religious heavy-handedness with him?
From childhood through high school I was more or less forced to go to church, Sunday School, and evening service, Monday night Christian Endeavor and sometimes to Wednesday evening prayer meeting.
[2] Did Dr. Bob reject concepts of God others tried to "impress2 on him during childhood"?
This had the effect of making me resolve that when I was free from parental domination, I would never again darken the doors of a church.
[3] Did childish obstinacy and prejudice3 handicap Dr. Bob’s spiritual growth?
This resolution I kept steadfastly for the next forty years, except when circumstances made it seem unwise to absent myself.
[1a]2p What did Dr. Bob think of his first college out of high school, Dartmouth college (1902)?
After high school came four years in one of the best colleges in the country
[1b] What well attended, after-class activity did Dr. Bob find inviting?
where drinking seemed to be a major extra-curricular activity.
[2] After a childhood of restriction, what made these activities seem OK in college?
Almost everyone seemed to do it.
[3a]2p Apparently these activities weren’t a habit when he first started, but what happened?
I did it more and more,
[3b] Did he suffer immediate consequences which might have turned him back to sanity?
and had lots of fun without much grief, either physical or financial.
[4a]2p What did he notice about his ability to pursue these activities compared to his friends?
I seemed to be able to snap back the next morning better than most of my fellow drinkers,
[4b] What did his friends experience that he did not?
who were cursed (or perhaps blessed) with a great deal of morning-after nausea.
[5a]2p What seems to plague most people who try these things which never affected Dr. Bob?
Never once in my life have I had a headache,
[5b] Dr. Bob seemed to think his lack of headaches was a symptom of what?
which fact leads me to believe that I was an alcoholic almost from the start.
[6a]3p What do we now think is a more obvious symptom of the underlying spiritual malady4?
My whole life seemed to be centered around doing what I wanted to do,
[6b] How does selfishness-self-centeredness show up in our lives?
without regard for the rights, wishes, or privileges of anyone else;
[6c] selfishness-self-centeredness is an outlook on life which does what?
a state of mind which became more and more predominant as the years passed.
[7a]2p At graduation, how did Dr Bob’s college buddies grade his extra-curricular activities?
I was graduated "summa cum laude" in the eyes of the drinking fraternity
[7b] But what was the Dean’s view of Dr. Bob success in college?
but not in the eyes of the Dean.
[1] What sort of work did Bob Smith do before he became a physician?
The next three years I spent in Boston, Chicago, and Montreal in the employ of a large manufacturing concern, selling railway supplies, gas engines of all sorts, and many other items of heavy hardware.
[2a]2p How did Bob keep his destructive habit in check during his early years?
During these years, I drank as much as my purse permitted,
[2b-3]+2 Did he have any reason at this point, health-wise or job-wise, to want to quit?
still without paying too great a penalty, although I was beginning to have morning jitters at times.
I lost only a half day’s work during these three years.
[1] In 1905, why did Dr. Bob enroll in the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor?
My next move was to take up the study of medicine, entering one of the largest universities in the country.
[2] Back in school again, what took a real turn for the worse?
There I took up the business of drinking with much greater earnestness than I had previously shown.
[3a]2p How did his fellow students encourage him to develop his habits even further?
On account of my enormous capacity for beer, I was elected to membership in one of the drinking societies,
[3b] Does Dr. Bob seem to have been a natural leader?
and soon became one of the leading spirits.
[4a]3p How good a student was Dr. Bob his freshman year?
Many mornings I have gone to classes, and even though fully prepared,
[4b] What seems to have kept him from becoming an outstanding student?
would turn and walk back to the fraternity house because of my jitters,
[4c] Was he beginning to be driven by a hundred forms of fear?
not daring to enter the classroom for fear of making a scene should I be called on for recitation.
[1a]2p Was Dr. Bob being "driven by a hundred forms of self-delusion"5?
This went from bad to worse until Sophomore spring when, after a prolonged period of drinking, I made up my mind that I could not complete my course,
[1b] What decision almost "annihilated…worthwhile"6 his gifts of intellect and perseverance?
so I packed my grip and went South to spend a month on a large farm owned by a friend of mine.
[2a]2p What did he realize when he came to his senses7?
When I got the fog out of my brain, I decided that quitting school was very foolish
[2b] Then he scrambled to do what?
and that I had better return and continue my work.
[3] What did the school think of his plan to just pick up where he left off?
When I reached school, I discovered the faculty had other ideas on the subject.
[4a]2p In general, are people running on self-will pretty good negotiators?
After much argument they allowed me to return and take my exams,
[4b] What is truly remarkable about his taking these exams after a month of zero study?
all of which I passed creditably.
[5] Did the faculty, however, recognize what an exceptional student Dr. Bob seemed to be?
But they were much disgusted and told me they would attempt to struggle along without my presence.
[6] What did the faculty do which led him in 1910 to enroll in Chicago’s Rush Medical College?
After many painful discussions, they finally gave me my credits and I migrated to another of the leading universities of the country and entered as a Junior that fall.
[1a]2p His new friends at Rush College became so alarmed by his insanity they did what?
There my drinking became so much worse that the boys in the fraternity house where I lived felt forced to send for my father,
[1b] Then his father was so alarmed by their report, he did what?
who made a long journey in the vain endeavor to get me straightened around.
[2a]2p When Dr. Bob said his father’s journey was in vain, what did he mean?
This had little effect however for I kept on drinking
[2b] Where did Dr. Bob’s illness take him after help from friends and family failed?
and used a great deal more hard liquor than in former years.
[1] How did Dr. Bob sabotage own his finals which if he passed would allow him to graduate8?
Coming up to final exams I went on a particularly strenuous spree.
[2] His entire body was so wrung out that he suffered what physical problem at the exam?
When I went in to write the examinations, my hand trembled so I could not hold a pencil.
[3] What did he do because he couldn’t think and couldn’t write?
I passed in at least three absolutely blank books.
[4a]2p What were the consequences Dr. Bob’s "particularly strenuous spree"?
I was, of course, soon on the carpet and the upshot was that I had to go back for two more quarters
[4b] What ultimatum did the school give him if he wanted a medical degree?
and remain absolutely dry, if I wished to graduate.
[5] Was Dr. Bob yet completely hopeless or did he still have some strong self-will?
This I did, and proved myself satisfactory to the faculty, both in deportment and scholastically.
[1] How did Dr. Bob conduct himself so long as he stayed "dry" by sheer will power?
I conducted myself so creditably that I was able to secure a much coveted internship in a western city, where I spent two years.
[2-3]+2 Who (maybe God?) kept Dr. Bob sober while he gained Akron hospital privileges?
During these two years I was kept so busy that I hardly left the hospital at all.
Consequently, I could not get into any trouble.
[1] In 1915, Dr. Bob finished his residency, married Anne Ripley, and then what?
When those two years were up, I opened an office downtown.
[2] In a very limited personal inventory which he took at this time, what did he discover?
I had some money, all the time in the world, and considerable stomach trouble.
[3a]2p So…money, no problem, time no problem….how did he solve the stomach trouble?
I soon discovered that a couple of drinks would alleviate my gastric distress, at least for a few hours at a time,
[3b] Was this what his "cunning, baffling, and powerful"9 spiritual illness10,11 wanted anyway?
so it was not at all difficult for me to return to my former excessive indulgence.
[1a]2p Then what happened to Dr. Bob which he had always escaped in his early drinking?
By this time I was beginning to pay very dearly physically
[1b] What did he do when he discovered he couldn’t make a decision and stick to it?
and, in hope of relief, voluntarily incarcerated myself at least a dozen times in one of the local sanitariums.
[2] Figuratively speaking, why did Dr. Bob think he was caught between two Greek sea-monsters?
I was between Scylla and Charybdis now, because if I did not drink my stomach tortured me, and if I did my nerves did the same thing.
[3a]3p How long did it take for this insanity to put him into the hospital?
After three years of this, I wound up in the local hospital where they attempted to help me,
[3b] And who were trying—though they didn’t realize it—to help Dr. Bob kill himself?
but I would get my friends to smuggle me a quart,
[3c] Did being a physician with hospital privileges have some questionable advantages?
or I would steal the alcohol about the building, so that I got rapidly worse.
[1a]2p Does an "illness of this sort"12 "engulf all whose lives touch the sufferer’s"13?
Finally, my father had to send a doctor out from my home town who managed to get me back there in some way,
[1b] How badly mangled was Dr. Bob at this point?
and I was in bed about two months before I could venture out of the house.
[2] After two plus months of medical care, how fast did his "courage to do battle"14 come back?
I stayed about town a couple of months more and then returned to resume my practice.
[3] Fear did what for Dr. Bob…for a while15?
I think I must have been thoroughly scared by what had happened, or by the doctor, or probably both, so that I did not touch a drink again until the country went dry.
[1] What event on 16-Jan-1919 removed enough of Dr. Bob’s fear that his insanity returned16?
With the passing of the Eighteenth Amendment I felt quite safe.
[2] What did he think the law banning manufacture, sale, and transport of alcohol would do?
I knew everyone would buy a few bottles, or cases, of liquor as their exchequers permitted, and that it would soon be gone.
[3] What does insane thinking look like—hint: "It won’t hurt me this time"?
Therefore it would make no great difference, even if I should do some drinking.
[4] Dr Bob’s plan to depend on dwindling supplies to control his insanity was defeated by what?
At that time I was not aware of the almost unlimited supply the government made it possible for us doctors to obtain, neither had I any knowledge of the bootlegger who soon appeared on the horizon.
[5a]3p What is the first thing insanity will lead us to do?
I drank with moderation at first,
[5b] But it doesn’t take long for such insane thinking to do what?
but it took me only a relatively short time to drift back into the old habits,
[5c] And by the time we have resumed old habits, what is almost impossible to remember17?
which had wound up so disastrously before.
[1] Since Dr. Bob had never dealt with his real problem—selfishness—what motivated him18?
During the next few years, I developed two distinct phobias.
[2] What terrorized him…patient lawsuits, severe health problems, Anne leaving?
One was the fear of not sleeping, and the other was the fear of running out of liquor.
[3a]2p Sleeping meant he could get the alcohol out of his system and why was this important?
Not being a man of means, I knew that if I did not stay sober enough to earn money,
[3b] Why was the fear of not earning money so important?
I would run out of liquor.
[4a]2p What did he want to do every morning to treat the suffering of his alcohol withdrawal?
Most of the time, therefore, I did not take the morning drink which I craved so badly,
[4b] What did he do instead and how did this distress him?
but instead would fill up on large doses of sedatives to quiet the jitters, which distressed me terribly.
[5] What price did Dr Bob pay occasionally to succumb to that morning craving?
Occasionally, I would yield to the morning craving, but if I did, it would be only a few hours before I would be quite unfit for work.
[6a]2p What else motivated him to avoid the morning craving and its consequences?
This would lessen my chances of smuggling some home that evening,
[6b] Because, what consequence did he fear even more?
which in turn would mean a night of futile tossing around in bed followed by a morning of unbearable jitters.
[7a]2p How did Dr Bob convince himself he was managing his insanity OK?
During the subsequent fifteen years I had sense enough never to go to the hospital if I had been drinking,
[7b] What did he do to reduce the damage he knew he would do to his patients?
and very seldom did I receive patients.
[8a]2p Why might some patients have been unable to find him when they needed help?
I would sometimes hide out in one of the clubs of which I was a member,
[8b] Where else did he hide so he could succumb to his cravings as he wished?
and had the habit at times of registering at a hotel under a fictitious name.
[9a]2p What did people who cared about him do?
But my friends usually found me and I would go home
[9b] When his friends finally found him, what was Dr. Bob most concerned about?
if they promised that I should not be scolded.
[1] Remember Dr Bob had two phobias; how did he manage the fear of running out of liquor?
If my wife was planning to go out in the afternoon, I would get a large supply of liquor and smuggle it home and hide it in the coal bin, the clothes chute, over door jambs, over beams in the cellar, and in cracks in the cellar tile.
[2] When Dr Bob looked around his house, did he seem to see furniture or hiding places?
I also made use of old trunks and chests, the old can container, and even the ash container.
[3-4]+2 What gave him the illusion of being smart about hiding his stash everywhere?
The water tank on the toilet I never used, because that looked too easy.
I found out later that my wife inspected it frequently.
[5] Did there seem to be many places around his house that he did not try to hide liquor?
I used to put eight or twelve ounce bottles of alcohol in a fur lined glove and toss it onto the back airing porch when winter days got dark enough.
[6] Was making connections with the criminal underworld just a normal part of life?
My bootlegger had hidden alcohol at the back steps where I could get it at my convenience.
[7] When he got cocky, what happened?
Sometimes I would bring it in my pockets, but they were inspected, and that became too risky.
[8] What idea for hiding liquor did Dr Bob think was especially clever?
I used also to put it up in four ounce bottles and stick several in my stocking tops.
[9] How shocked was he to discover he wasn’t the first person to think of this idea?
This worked nicely until my wife and I went to see Wallace Beery in "Tugboat Annie," after which the pant-leg and stocking racket were out!
[1] Alcohol being but a symptom19, where did Dr Bob’s self-centeredness20 take him over and over?
I will not take space to relate all my hospital or sanitarium experiences.
[1] How does the spiritual malady affect relationships with those around us21?
During all this time we became more or less ostracized by our friends.
[2a]2p What usually happened when people asked Anne and Dr Bob out for a fun evening?
We could not be invited out because I would surely get tight,
[2b] What did Anne do because she feared Dr Bob’s lack of sanity around other people?
and my wife dared not invite people in for the same reason.
[3a]2p As mentioned, Dr Bob had two phobias, how did he manage his fear of not sleeping?
My phobia for sleeplessness demanded that I get drunk every night,
[3b] As we saw earlier, Dr Bob craved the morning drink22 but didn’t often take it, why?
but in order to get more liquor for the next night, I had to stay sober during the day, at least up to four o’clock.
[4] Though it seemed an eternity, how long did Dr Bob’s living nightmare last?
This routine went on with few interruptions for seventeen years.
[5] Why did Dr Bob call his strained efforts to manage his two phobias a "nightmare"?
It was really a horrible nightmare, this earning money, getting liquor, smuggling it home, getting drunk, morning jitters, taking large doses of sedatives to make it possible for me to earn more money, and so on ad nauseam.
[6a]2p What else do people do which they think will help keep them sober?
I used to promise my wife, my friends, and my children that I would drink no more—
[6b] How well do these heart-felt promises work?
promises which seldom kept me sober even through the day, though I was very sincere when I made them.
[1] What’s another idea Dr Bob thought would help him manage his lunacy?
For the benefit of those experimentally inclined, I should mention the so-called beer experiment.
[2-3]+2 What did Dr Bob’s best thinking convince him he could both control and enjoy23?
When beer first came back, I thought that I was safe.
I could drink all I wanted of that.
[4] Why did he think this could be the solution to his problems?
It was harmless; nobody ever got drunk on beer.
[5a]2p Excited and absolutely positive THIS idea would work, what did he do?
So I filled the cellar full,
[5b] Who else bought into this crazy scheme (much to her later disappointment)?
with the permission of my good wife.
[6] Why are we not surprised about what happened next?
It was not long before I was drinking at least a case and a half a day.
[7] What was Dr Bob’s first clue his brilliant idea to fix himself wasn’t working?
I put on thirty pounds of weight in about two months, looked like a pig, and was uncomfortable from shortness of breath.
[8a]2p How did Dr Bob’s insanity capitalize on this, his latest failure?
It then occurred to me that after one was all smelled up with beer nobody could tell what had been drunk,
[8b] Did it seem like a good idea to Dr Bob to pour gasoline onto this fire?
so I began to fortify my beer with straight alcohol.
[9] What is the inevitable result of any spiritually sick person’s effort to control their own insanity?
Of course, the result was very bad, and that ended the beer experiment.
[1a]2p What happened at about the time Dr Bob ran out of ideas to control his own insanity?
About the time of the beer experiment I was thrown in with a crowd of people who attracted me
[1b] What did these people have that Dr Bob found sorely lacking in his own life?
because of their seeming poise, health, and happiness.
[2a]2p What could these people do that seemed impossible for Dr Bob to do?
They spoke with great freedom from embarrassment, which I could never do,
[2b] What else did they have Dr Bob desperately wanted?
and they seemed very much at ease on all occasions and appeared very healthy.
[3] Dr Bob’s self-centeredness brought him nothing but misery…what did he see in these people?
More than these attributes, they seemed to be happy.
[4] Where had selfishness, self-seeking, self-delusion, and fear brought Dr Bob?
I was self conscious and ill at ease most of the time, my health was at the breaking point, and I was thoroughly miserable.
[5] From the gloomy fog of misery what did Dr. Bob see in these people?
I sensed they had something I did not have, from which I might readily profit.
[6a]3p What did this group have which he wanted: money? success in business? strong will?
I learned that it was something of a spiritual nature,
[6b] What’s our reaction to such topics which we think we have "neatly evaded or ignored"24?
which did not appeal to me very much,
[6c] What did Dr Bob think of spiritual matters after he saw these healthy and happy people?
but I thought it could do no harm.
[7] But, did the study of spiritual matters solve Dr Bob’s problems?
I gave the matter much time and study for the next two and a half years, but I still got tight every night nevertheless.
[8] What else did Dr Bob do in the study of spiritual matters?
I read everything I could find, and talked to everyone who I thought knew anything about it.
[1a]3p How readily did Anne embrace the spiritual approach Oxford Group people offered?
My wife became deeply interested,
[1b] What did Anne’s strong attachment to their life-saving approach do for Dr Bob?
and it was her interest that sustained mine,
[1c] Did Dr Bob see the connection between his spiritual malady and his unbreakable25 habit?
though I at no time sensed that it might be an answer to my liquor problem.
[2-3]+2 Who does Dr Bob credit for his hope that God could solve his problem?
How my wife kept her faith and courage during all those years, I’ll never know, but she did.
If she had not, I know I would have been dead a long time ago.
[4-5]+2 Are the bigger things in our lives our doing or are they God’s doing?
For some reason, we alcoholics seem to have the gift of picking out the world’s finest women.
Why they should be subjected to the tortures we inflict upon them, I cannot explain.
[1] Why did one of the group’s ladies, Henrietta Seiberling, phone Anne on May 11, 1935?
About this time a lady called up my wife one Saturday afternoon saying she wanted me to come over that evening to meet a friend of hers who might help me.
[2] Earlier that Saturday, as Bill W famously paced the hotel lobby, what had Dr Bob been doing?
It was the day before Mother’s Day and I had come home plastered, carrying a big potted plant which I set down on the table and forthwith went upstairs and passed out.
[3] Obviously, Bob and Anne couldn’t make it on Saturday…did Henrietta give up?
The next day she called again.
[4a]2p Feeling horrible as usual, what did Dr. Bob nevertheless agree to do?
Wishing to be polite, though I felt very badly, I said, "Let’s make the call,"
[4b] What was the least amount of time Dr. Bob thought would make a good appearance?
and extracted from my wife a promise that we would not stay over fifteen minutes.
[1a]2p What time did Bob and Anne arrive at Henrietta’s little cottage?
We entered her house at exactly five o’clock
[1b] What tells us Dr. Bob’s life began to change within those very first fifteen minutes?
and it was eleven fifteen when we left.
[2a]2p Was Dr Bob yet convinced that he had a "hopeless condition"26 after this first meeting?
I had a couple of shorter talks with this man afterward,
[2b] Did Dr Bob try his own will power one more time?
and stopped drinking abruptly.
[3a]2p This worked so well, did Dr. Bob begin to think he could control his insanity after all?
This dry spell lasted for about three weeks;
[3b] What did the American Medical Association have scheduled for June 10 - 14, 1935*?
then I went to Atlantic City to attend several days’ meeting of a national society of which I was a member.
Note: the AMA’s 1935 Annual Convention began on Monday, June 10, 1935. see: See 1935 AMA Journal Abstract Article here.
[4a]2p What happened after three weeks of thinking maybe he didn’t have a problem after all?
I drank all the scotch they had on the train
[4b] As soon as he got off the train (which was now OUT of liquor), what did he do?
and bought several quarts on my way to the hotel.
[5] What day of the week was June 9th, 1935…
This was on Sunday.
[6a]3p What did Dr Bob accomplish with these literally gallons of liquor?
I got tight that night,
[6b] On June 10th, 1935, after booze-induced sleep, Dr Bob following his pattern, did what?
stayed sober Monday till after the dinner,
[6c] And then did what which conformed to his previous decades-long daily pattern?
and then proceeded to get tight again.
[7] Having popped the cork off his last shred of self-control, what did Dr Bob do?
I drank all I dared in the bar, and then went to my room to finish the job.
[8] Dr Bob woke up Tuesday, June 11th with such a craving he had no resistance at all to what?
Tuesday I started in the morning, getting well organized by noon.
[9] Driven by fear of what people might think, what did Dr Bob do about noon on June 11th?
I did not want to disgrace myself so I then checked out.
[10] Remembering that he drank all the liquor on the last train he took, what did he do?
I bought some more liquor on the way to the depot.
[11] So, he had quite a lot of booze and then what happened?
I had to wait some time for the train.
[12a]2p While he waited, maybe he thought he could have "just a taste"? How could that hurt?
I remember nothing from then on
[12b] Where did Dr Bob come to three days later, on Friday June 14th 1935?
until I woke up at a friend’s house, in a town near home.
[13a]2p What did the people at his friend’s house do on Saturday, June 15th
These good people notified my wife,
[13b] Who did Anne ask to go get Dr Bob and bring him back home?
who sent my newly made friend over to get me.
[14a]3p What did Bill do that Sunday, June 16th?
He came and got me home and to bed,
[14b] What did Bill do to help Dr Bob with acute alcohol withdrawal that night?
gave me a few drinks that night,
[14c] What else did Bill do to help Bob steady his nerves for a surgery he had to perform on Monday morning, June 17th, 1935?
and one bottle of beer the next morning.
[1] Having lost a week in a fog, what date does Dr Bob remember that Monday morning to be?
That was June 10, 1935, and that was my last drink.
[2] What else might account for Dr Bob’s foggy memory of his exact sobriety date?
As I write, nearly four years have passed.
[1] Would we now like to know what Bill said those first 15 minutes that changed Dr Bob’s life?
The question which might naturally come into your mind would be: "What did the man do or say that was different from what others had done or said?"
[2] Did Dr Bob consider himself knowledgeable about his problem prior to meeting Bill W?
It must be remembered that I had read a great deal and talked to everyone who knew, or thought they knew anything about the subject of alcoholism.
[3a]2p What shocked Dr Bob about Bill W’s knowledge of both the problem and the solution?
But this was a man who had experienced many years of frightful drinking, who had had most all the drunkard’s experiences known to man,
[3b] What made Dr Bob realize his proud grasp of spiritual matters was sorely inadequate?
but who had been cured by the very means I had been trying to employ, that is to say the spiritual approach.
[4] Did Bill W also have a better understanding of the medical view of the problem?
He gave me information about the subject of alcoholism which was undoubtedly helpful.
[5] What made Dr Bob let go of stubborn self-will to turn his will and life to the care of God?
Of far more importance was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I had ever talked, who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience.
[6] Bill W talked the "language of the heart"…what language did Dr Bob hear him talking?
In other words, he talked my language.
[7] What did Bill know not only about addiction27 but also the spiritual malady28 and the spiritual recovery program29,30,31,32,33?
He knew all the answers, and certainly not because he had picked them up in his reading.
[1] What is the Great Fact34 for us?
It is a most wonderful blessing to be relieved of the terrible curse with which I was afflicted.
[2-3]+2 What else "straightens out"35 when the spiritual malady is overcome?
My health is good and I have regained my self-respect and the respect of my colleagues.
My home life is ideal and my business is as good as can be expected in these uncertain times.
[1] What did Dr Bob learn "is the very thing which makes life seem so worthwhile to us now"36?
I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need it badly.
[2] Why did Dr Bob share his home, slender resources, and spare hours to fellow-sufferers37?
I do it for four reasons:
[3] Did he believe those of us who "have been relieved owe something to those who have not"38?
1. Sense of duty.
[4] What did Dr Bob discover may be "the full meaning of ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself’"39?
2. It is a pleasure.
[5] Why did Dr Bob think he owed Bill W who only had been looking for someone to talk to40?
3. Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
[6] What did Dr Bob believe about "keeping spiritually active"41?
4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.
[1a]2p Was letting go of selfishness-self-centeredness difficult for Dr Bob at first?
Unlike most of our crowd, I did not get over my craving for liquor much
[1b] How long before intense work with others42 relieved Dr Bob of much selfishness?
during the first two and one-half years of abstinence.
[2] Did Dr Bob continue some bit of focus on himself and his troubles during those first years?
It was almost always with me.
[3] During those first years, did Dr Bob seem to think his own will power kept him sober?
But at no time have I been anywhere near yielding.
[4a]2p Was he still subject to resentment, jealousy, envy, and frustration43?
I used to get terribly upset when I saw my friends drink and knew I could not,
[4b] Again, who did Dr Bob seem to credit for reductions in resentment and self-pity?
but I schooled myself to believe that though I once had the same privilege, I had abused it so frightfully that it was withdrawn.
[5] Did Dr Bob seem to believe he could think himself out of anger and self-pity?
So it doesn’t behoove me to squawk about it for, after all, nobody ever had to throw me down and pour liquor down my throat.
[1a]2p Who did Dr Bob think might have trouble with the spiritual message44,45,46 of this book?
If you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a skeptic, or have any other form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting what is in this book,
[1b] How did he feel about these "handicapped by obstinacy…and unreasoning prejudice"47?
I feel sorry for you.
[2] What did Dr Bob know to be the obsession48 of every person with a "real"49 illness50?
If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair.
[3a]3p What was the first of two conditions Dr Bob knew to be essential for recovery (Step 1)?
But if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all,
[3b] What was the second of the two essential conditions (Step 2)?
and sincerely feel that you must have some help,
[3c] What do the 12 Steps prove to be for anyone who "thoroughly followed our path"51?
we know that we have an answer for you.
[4] How much effort did Dr Bob believe a person has to exert to be successful?
It never fails, if you go about it with one half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when you were getting another drink.
[1] Who does Dr Bob now believe provides the power to relieve the curse52 of addiction53?
Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!
[1] What does the Program and the Fellowship mean to the members of the fellowship?
To those now in its fold, Alcoholics Anonymous has made the difference between misery and sobriety, and often the difference between life and death.
* Note: the website of Alcoholics Anonymous may be found here.
[2] What can the program and the fellowship even today mean to many who are still very ill?
A.A. can, of course, mean just as much to uncounted alcoholics not yet reached.
[1] What two things does the fellowship need just as much now as ever, maybe more than ever?
Therefore, no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity.
[2a]2p What must the fellowship members do to maintain effectiveness and unity"?
We alcoholics see that we must work together and hang together,
[2b] What if we do not stick together and work with one another?
else most of us will finally die alone.
[1a]3p Where do answers in the 12 Traditions about the fellowship effectiveness and unity come from?
The "12 Traditions" of Alcoholics Anonymous are, we A.A.’s believe, the best answers that our experience has yet given to those ever-urgent questions,
[1b] What is the first urgent question?
"How can A.A. best function?"
[1c] What is the second urgent question?
and, "How can A.A. best stay whole and so survive?"
[1] What form of the Traditions was adopted on Friday of the 1st Int’l Convention, Jul 28, 1950?
On the next page, A.A.’s "12 Traditions" are seen in their so-called "short from," the form in general use today.
[2] What form was first published in the April, 1946 edition of the AA Grapevine?
This is a condensed version of the original "long form" A.A. Traditions as first printed in 1946.
[3] Why is the "long form" of the Traditions included along with the "short form"?
Because the "long form" is more explicit and of possible historic value, it is also reproduced.
One—Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.
Two—For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
Three—The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Four—Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.
Five—Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
Six—An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A.name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
Seven—Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
Eight—Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
Nine—A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
Ten—Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A.name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Eleven—Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
Twelve—Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
[1] Where do answers to the urgent questions about the fellowship effectiveness and unity come from?
Our A.A. experience has taught us that:
[1] How should each member of the fellowship view themselves in the big scheme of the fellowship?
1.—Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole.
[2] Why should each member place the interests of the fellowship above their own personal interests?
A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die.
[3] Whose welfare should each member, in all instances, consider ahead of their own?
Hence our common welfare comes first.
[4] How do we know that care for the "common welfare" means care the welfare of groups?
But individual welfare follows close afterward.
[1a]3p What dictates the message and conduct of any group?
2.—For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—
[1b] Who or what does every group deem to be its one ultimate authority?
a loving God
[1c] How does God provide guidance and direction for the group’s message and conduct?
as He may express Himself in our group conscience.
[1] Who are the members of the fellowship as a whole or of any particular group?
3.—Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism.
[2] May the fellowship or groups impose more membership requirements than a desire for recovery?
Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover.
[3] Are members expected to pay dues or fees or to adhere to any secular or religious beliefs?
Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity.
[4a]2p Who decides who can or cannot form a group of persons who desire recovery?
Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group,
[4b] To what one condition must a group comply to be recognized by the fellowship as a whole?
provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.
[1] Where do groups find strict guidelines for the conduct of its meetings, elections, the literature it uses or makes available, or any planned or unplanned group activities?
4.—With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience.
[2] What action should a group take when the conduct of its affairs might affect other groups?
But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted.
[3] In accordance with Tradition 1, all of the fellowship should be careful to avoid what kind of actions?
And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board.
[4] Why is this last consideration so important with respect to Tradition 1?
On such issues our common welfare is paramount.
[1a]3p What kind of entity should groups see themselves as being?
5.—Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity
[1b] What should be the focus of the meetings, elections, plans, and activities of groups?
having but one primary purpose—
[1c] What should be the main purpose of a group?
that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
[1] What sorts of things tear groups apart or draw them away from their primary purpose?
6.—Problems of money, property, and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim.
[2a]2p What should groups do with sizable, useful property?
We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to A.A. should be separately incorporated and managed,
[2b] Since a group is a spiritual entity, what does separately incorporating sizable property do?
thus dividing the material from the spiritual.
[3] Should a group try to manage a business by group conscience?
An A.A. group, as such, should never go into business.
[4a]3p What kind of businesses might groups support to help groups carry their message?
Secondary aids to A.A., such as clubs or hospitals
[4b] What characterizes secondary facilities of this kind and how should they be structured?
which require much property or administration, ought to be incorporated and so set apart
[4c] What advantage does a group gain for its spiritual aim by setting apart such "aids"?
that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the groups.
[5] Can such secondary organizations use the fellowship name to help them advance their mission?
Hence such facilities ought not to use the A.A. name.
[6] What role should the group conscience play in the management of such helpful facilities?
Their management should be the sole responsibility of those people who financially support them.
[7] What experience should the manager of a club have?
For clubs, A.A. managers are usually preferred.
[8] Who should manage facilities providing specialized care even if funded by members?
But hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, ought to be well outside A.A.—and medically supervised.
[9-10]+2 What two principles help a group stay focused on its primary spiritual purpose?
While an A.A. group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied.
An A.A. group can bind itself to no one.
[1] Where do groups turn for funding and volunteers for all their group activities?
7.—The A.A. groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members.
[2a]3p How quickly should a new group achieve the benefits of self-funding?
We think that each group should soon achieve this ideal;
[2b] But, couldn’t we expand our programs and effectiveness if we had a lot of public money?
that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, hospitals, or other outside agencies;
[2c] The allure of "bigger" or "newer" may be tempting, but what does experience prove?
that acceptance of large gifts from any source, or of contributions carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise.
[3] What might show that a group is wandering from its spiritual reliance on a loving God?
Then too, we view with much concern those A.A. treasuries which continue, beyond prudent reserves, to accumulate funds for no stated A.A. purpose.
[4a]2p How do we know that worry about finances can distract a group from its spiritual aims?
Experience
[4b] What has experience shown us over and over?
has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money, and authority.
[1] Should groups issue diplomas or licenses for doing 12 Step work to qualified members?
8.—Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional.
[2] Within groups or among members in the fellowship, what is the definition of "professionalism"?
We define professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire.
[3] What about any kind of work within a group or among members that is NOT counselling?
But we may employ alcoholics where they are going to perform those services for which we might otherwise have to engage nonalcoholics.
[4] If we pay someone for non-counselling work, should we pay the lowest amount possible?
Such special services may be well recompensed.
[5a]2p What is the definition of "counselling alcoholics"?
But our usual A.A. "12 Step" work
[5b] Group members should make it clear to newcomers that our 12 Step work is never what?
is never to be paid for.
[1] What principle should guide groups or committees as they organize to carry their message1?
9.—Each A.A. group needs the least possible organization.
[2] What is one thing groups do to prevent strivings for leadership, power, and prestige2?
Rotating leadership is the best.
[3a]4p What sort of organized structure is appropriate for a small group?
The small group may elect its secretary,
[3b] What kind of structure can assist larger groups to achieve their spiritual aims?
the large group its rotating committee,
[3c] What can groups who share common ground do to coordinate activities or pool resources?
and the groups of a large metropolitan area their central or intergroup committee,
[3d] What is entirely appropriate for large intergroups tracking many activities or resources?
which often employs a full-time secretary.
[4] What committee is supposed to serve all of the fellowship?
The trustees of the General Service Board are, in effect, our A.A. General Service Committee.
[5a]3p What is one service the GSO provides?
They are the custodians of our A.A. Tradition
[5b] Who is the GSO dependent upon for its operations?
and the receivers of voluntary A.A. contributions
[5c] What is the first thing the GSO does with the money it receives for operations?
by which we maintain our A.A. General Service Office at New York.
[6a]2p Who originally authorized the GSO to do anything?
They are authorized by the groups
[6b] What were the original duties of the GSO?
to handle our over-all public relations and they guarantee the integrity of our principal newspaper, the A.A. Grapevine.
[7a]2p What hasn’t changed in over 75 years?
All such representatives are to be guided in the spirit of service,
[7b] What two qualities make someone a leader in a group or committee?
for true leaders in A.A. are but trusted and experienced servants of the whole.
[8a]2p What authority do titles like "secretary", "treasurer", or "chairmen" give group members?
They derive no real authority from their titles;
[8b] What do old-timers, study leaders, meeting chairs, founders, officers, or presidents not do?
they do not govern.
[9a]2p What does give leaders authority to maintain the group’s "effectiveness and unity"3?
Universal respect is the key
[9b] What can true leaders—trusted and experienced servants—do with the respect they earn?
to their usefulness.
[1a]2p Whether publicly or privately, do members or groups speak for the fellowship on "outside issues"?
10.—No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues
[1b] What are some examples of "outside issues" about which no one should implicate the fellowship?
—particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion.
[2] To preserve unity and effectiveness for carrying its message4,5,6, group do not do what?
The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one.
[3] What can groups say about controversial issues not addressed in the program or literature?
Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.
[1] When we speak publicly of vital inside issues—the fellowship and the program—should we use our names?
11.—Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity.
[2] Why do we stick to matter-of-fact announcements without emotional appeal?
We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational* advertising*.
* Webster’s 1937 "sensational": Melodramatic, emotional; intended to excite fleeting interest or emotion.
* Webster’s 1937 "advertising": Print or electronic broadcast drawing public attention to something.
[3] Might we draw a larger crowd to our meetings if we advertise one of our famous members?
Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed.
[4] What principle should guide efforts to maintain a good reputation in the general public?
Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion.
[5] What do large numbers of recoveries and reunited homes mean we never have to do?
There is never need to praise ourselves.
[6] What works better than sensational advertising to attract people suffering to groups?
We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.
[1] Though we once thought anonymity was about keeping our secret, what do we now believe?
12.—And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance.
[2a]2p What does anonymity remind us about being God’s people, standing on our own feet7?
It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities;
[2b] What does anonymity reminds us about trusting the infinite God rather than our finite selves8?
that we are actually to practice a genuine humility.
[3a]2p What will not ruin us if we stick to principles and practice genuine humility?
This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us;
[3b] What shall we enjoy so long as our blessings do not spoil us?
that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.
Note: Appendix II appeared in the 2nd printing of the 1st Edition, published March 1941.
[1a]3p What terms are used in this book to describe a person’s new awareness of a Power greater than themselves1?
The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" are used many times in this book
[1b] What seems to be some reliable signs2,3 of this new awareness in the lives of people whose stories are told in these pages?
which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism
[1c] Comparing the 11 accounts of this experience in the book’s first 164 pages4, what do we notice?
has manifested itself among us in many different forms.
* See also the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition which may still be found here and here.
[1-2]+2 To make room in AA—in accordance with Tradition Three—for anyone who “desired not to drink”5 including some who could quit on their own with good reason6 or some who did not yet believe they needed spiritual help7, Bill W whose own spiritual experience was vivid, dramatic, and permanent8,9,10, wrote what here in 1941 for the 2nd Printing of the Big Book?
Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals.
Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous.
[1] What is described in the eight factual accounts of real people in Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, and 1111?
In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described.
[2a]2p Did the authors realize these true accounts of each person’s dramatic change in outlook toward life and God's universe12 could be misunderstood to suggest an “awareness of God’s presence”13 could only occur suddenly and dramatically?
Though it was not our intention to create such an impression,
[2b] What did some readers conclude must be experienced or else no "awakening" has occurred?
many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming "God consciousness" followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.
[1] Do the writers even say most "spiritual experiences" are the sudden mountain-top14 variety?
Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule.
[2a]2p What seems to be the most common type of spiritual awakening reported by members?
Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the "educational variety"
[2b] What did Professor James15 mean by "educational variety"?
because they develop slowly over a period of time.
[3] Sometimes, the sense of God’s presence seems to occur so slowly that what happens?
Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself.
[4a]2p What is meant in Ch5 by "faith is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves16"?
He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life;
[4b] What is meant in Ch6 by "God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves17"?
that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone.
[5] What seems notable about the God-powered recovery18,19 spoken of here compared to human-powered recovery20?
What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self discipline.
[6a]2p What do many members say powers their new "peace, happiness, and sense of direction"21,22?
With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource
[6b] Who or What do most of us believe is the source of this "unsuspected inner resource"23,24?
which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.
[1] Throughout the entire book—from "The Doctor's Opinion" through "Dr. Bob's Nightmare" and the 21 Personal Stories published with the First Edition—what did the authors most often mean by the terms “spiritual experience” and “spiritual awakening”?
Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience.
[2] How did most of the “first 100”* describe the “awareness of a Power greater than ourselves”25,26,27,28,29,30?
Our more religious members call it "God-consciousness."
* Note: the 29 Personal Stories of the First Edition may still be found here and here.
[1a]2p Based on the authors’ experience with forming a new relationship with their Creator31,32,33, what message do they wish to carry to those who want to recover from this “seemingly hopeless”34 condition?
Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover,
[1b] Besides the honesty35 required to begin recovery, what is essential to continue?
provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts.
[2] What sort of thinking "has to be abandoned"36?
He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
[1] What do we say to someone whose “face falls”37 when we talk about God?
We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program.
[2] What is essential to “make a beginning”38,39,40, to begin a search for a “power greater than our own”41,42?
Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery.
[3] Can a search even begin without these essentials?
But these are indispensable.
[1] Why is open-mindedness so important to begin a search for a spiritual solution?
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
[2] What 19th century philosopher is credited with this quote?
─ Herbert Spencer
* Note to study leader: Resume the study where we left off in Rowland's discussion with Dr. Jung.
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